A/N: Thank you for the reviews, you guys rock. And because shameless self-promotion is one of my principles in life, go check out my new story, "A Tale of Buses and Goodbyes", if you haven't already done so.

Babies shouldn't live in closets

Picking up the phone a few days later, Rory waited for her mother to pick up, tapping her foot impatiently, a cup of decaf in her hand.

"Hey, kid, what's up?"

"Brett!"

"What?" Lorelai asked, confused.

"Brett! That's what Jess wants to name our baby!"

"It's not bad." She shrugged.

"For a girl?"

"What?"

"That's the name if she's a girl!" Sighing frustrated, Rory sipped from her mug. "We were talking baby names a couple of days ago and he said he really likes Brett for a girl and I'm supposed to think about it and it's stupid Hemingway's fault!"

"It's…interesting."

"Exactly. And every time he says it, he has this stupid smile on his lips and he looks so happy and it just makes me be all stupid and hormonal so I need an outsider's opinion on this."

"What do you think?"

"I don't know, I do think it's cute and I really love how Brett Catherine…"

"Deneuve?"

"No, his other name suggestion. She needs a very girly middle name if we do go for Brett and I like it." Putting the mug down, Rory rubbed her bump, smiling. "So, as the outsider, how much will our daughter hate us if we name her Brett?"

"I'm not an outsider. I'm the grandmother, I can't be objective."

"Does that mean you hate it?"

"No." Grinning, Lorelai shook her head. "I think it fits my idea of what Jess' kid would be named. And it actually is cute."

"So she won't hate us?"

"Of course she will, she has to. Kids are supposed to hate you."

"I never hated you."

"Really? Because you did a very good job at convincing me you did a couple of times."

"I was a teenager."

"Point is, no matter what you do, she won't like you all the time. And if this means that much to Jess, you should at least seriously think about it."

"But won't she have to go her entire life going 'Yes, I'm a girl. My parents were just crazy.'?"

"As opposed to 'Yes, my parents are technically cousins. No, I don't have any extra toes, it's not like that.', which is what she's going to say all her life anyway?"

"Mom…" Rory laughed, rubbing her bump again.

"What are you worried about the most?"

"That kids will give her a hard time, I suppose."

"What for?"

"For having a boy's name."

"Hon, so do you." Lorelai chuckled, shaking her head. "Name her whatever you guys want. Brett is cute. She'll rock the leather jacket."

"That's what Jess said." Smiling, Rory drank from her mug again. "Anyway, it's not like we don't have enough time to decide on this."

"What else is on the list?"

"For girls, that's about it. We had Audrey and Anaïs for a while, but that'd make her initial BAM and Jess doesn't like it. For boys, there's David, Henry and Jack."

"I like David, but there's Sookie's Davey and Lane's ex, Dave. And Anaïs?"

"She's a writer. What, too out there? And ugh, now you've taken David off the list."

"A bit out there."

Walking into the room, Jess kissed her cheek, mouthing 'your mom?' before picking up a cup from the cupboard and pouring coffee in it. Nodding, Rory drank from her mug.

"Oh, what about Sabrina? Holly? Eliza?"

"Mom…"

"Ann! Gabrielle!"

"You're going through every single character Audrey Hepburn's ever played, aren't you?"

"Well, I am not having another child and I stupidly wasted my chance when I named you with my feminist manifesto. Someone has to honor Audrey the way she's supposed to be honored."

"I did propose Ingrid but Jess shot me down."

"Heathen!"

"I know, right?"

"No." Jess shook his head, drinking from his mug.

"I was not talking to you." Rory glanced at him, grinning.

"What's the hoodlum saying now?"

"He's still not aware of Ingrid's greatness."

"I am not discussing this again." He smirked and she picked up an apple from the counter, throwing it at him but he caught it before it hit him.

"Damn you."

"What's going on?"

"Jess is being Jess." She snickered. "I'm going to go, mom. I'll see you in a couple of weeks."

"No, it's too long! Move back here!"

"Goodbye, mom. Love you."

"Love you too, kid."

Putting the phone on the counter, Rory walked up to Jess, wrapping her arm around him and hugging him.

"How was your day?"

"I want a new job. One where I can sit around and do nothing all day."

"Get in line."

Kissing her temple, Jess smirked. "Your day?"

"Long. David's off the list."

"Why?"

"Too many Daves already."

"Ok. And just calling him David…?"

"I'm sorry." Rory shrugged, placing a quick kiss on his lips. "But Jack is starting to sound better and better."

"Why?"

"Dawkins." She grinned, looking at him.

"Is a pickpocket really the best person to name our son after?"

"'Cause Kerouac is such a great role model."

"At least it's not the Ripper."

"We're sad, sad people."

"Very likely." Ducking down, he kissed her bump, smiling. "Kid, you've so picked the wrong family."

"Hey, could have been worse!"

"Worse than us naming him after whatever writer and/or literary character we happen to really like the week it's born?"

"Like we could ever agree to a writer for an entire week."

"There are precedents."

"Not many." Rory laughed, ruffling his hair. "What are you making for dinner?"

"What do you want?"

"Food."

"How very helpful."

"Anything. I'm starving." Hoping up on a counter, she watched him open the fridge, looking through it.

"Pizza?"

"Anything but pizza." She grinned, grabbing a peach from the basket and taking a bite out of it.

"Is it anything but pasta as well? Because if it is, we're doing take-away, since there's nothing in here."

"Pasta sounds good. Does this mean we have to go shopping?"

"Yes. We can go tomorrow after work."

"Can't, have a house viewing."

"When did that happen?" Jess turned around, looking at her. "And why did I not know about it?"

"You know about it now." Chewing on the peach, she smiled.

"Which place?"

"One of them. I can't keep track."

"Helpful." Starting to chop on some vegetables, he looked at her, smirking. "Anything else I should know about?"

"Nope. Still waiting for the other agencies to call back. And watch what you're doing before you chop your fingers off."

"Ror, I'm a grown up. There's no need to watch me every second."

"I need someone to practice on."

"Not me, please. Have some more coffee, that will keep you distracted." Dropping the knife, he refilled her mug before dropping it next to her.

"Thank you." She grabbed his hand, not giving him a chance to walk away and kissed him quickly.

"You're welcome." Placing his hands on her waist, he pulled her closer to the edge of the counter, kissing her again.

"Jess, dinner!"

"Uh-huh." He mumbled, starting to trail kisses down her neck.

"Jess…"

"Going." After placing one last kiss on her lips, he went back to the chopping board. "So, we're really moving forward with this house thing, aren't we?"

"We have to. After we find a place, we still have to sign everything, pack, move in, baby proof, unpack again. That's on top of work and baby appointments. What if we have to paint?"

"You mean what if I have to paint. Like everything else on your list, because you are not allowed to do anything."

"Jess!"

"Nope. I don't care, you're sitting this one out. Ignoring the painting issue, which for the record, no freaking way you're even going to be close when it happens, I don't want you doing anything that could hurt you or the baby in any way."

"You're overprotective."

"Ror, I am going to do anything I can to make sure nothing bad happens. If you think that makes me overprotective, fine, but I really don't even want to think of how we'd deal if something went wrong."

"Don't say that." Rubbing her stomach, she bit her lip.

"You're not doing anything but pointing at things so that your slave here can paint, pack, carry stuff and whatever else you need doing."

"Ok."

"You're going to fight me again on this when it actually comes time to move, aren't you?"

"Very likely. But you referring to yourself as my slave is very good." She smiled. "Also, I really love you for being overprotective and taking care of us."

"Someone's got to. What did your mom say about Brett?"

"It's cute and I should think about it."

"And?"

"Jess, I'm considering it. Just…give me a few more days."

"Ok. Did anything new make the list, now that David's off?"

"Any chances to sell you on Oliver?"

"No." He chuckled, turning on the cooker. "Olivia however…"

"Newton-John?"

"Pass."

"Ok." Opening the book, she picked up a couple of post-its from the front page, looking at him. "Hand me a pen."

"You need to get over this idea of yours that I carry a pen with me everywhere." Jess smirked, picking up a pen from his pocket at the same time and throwing it at her.

"I only think that because it's true. So Jack and Henry are still on, right?"

"Right."

"Noah?"

"Noah Richard Mariano? It sounds…"

"Odd, yeah." She sighed, crossing the name off the list. "Nathan?"

"What, you went through the N list today? Don't like it."

"Daniel?"

"What if he likes Dan?"

"Do you just hate nicknames?"

"Not all of them." Jess shrugged, dropping the pasta in the pot of boiling water. "I like Nick."

"I told you why it's out. But seriously, you've shot down a lot of names because you didn't like the nicknames."

"I just think it's pointless. If you're going to name a child something, just name it that, don't go for the full freaking name only to call him something else."

"Jess…?"

"Yeah, I know. You're an exception." Checking to see the food was ok, he stepped closer to her, giving her quick kiss. "Told you I don't hate all nicknames. Plus there's a good reason for not calling you Lorelai."

"It would put you in therapy?"

"Very likely. I don't want to think about your mother the same way I think about you."

"Remind me to show you pictures of great-grandma. That will make it even more disgusting."

"Gee, you're great." He chuckled, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear before going back to his cooking.

"I know. Caitlyn."

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Dated a Caitlyn once." Jess smirked, looking at her.

"How many names are off the list because of women you dated?"

"Pleading the fifth."

"Smartass." Drinking from her coffee, she smiled. "Chloe?"

"Put it on the list. And focus on boys names from now on."

"Why?"

"Because it's stupid trying to pick a name when we don't even know if it's a first or middle name."

"Fine." Sighing, Rory started flipping through the book again. "Gabriel."

"Too…something."

"Awesome argument, genius. Oh, can we just call him Rick?"

"That doesn't mean we don't need another name."

"No one needs a middle name anyway." Rory snickered. "Stanley?"

"No."

"Stella."

"No."

"Blanche."

"No."

"But it's a classic!"

"No."

"Jett."

"Now you're freaking kidding me." He chuckled, shaking his head.

"Sam?"

"Which one?"

"Spade."

"No."

"Do you hate the name or Humphrey?"

"Name." Turning off the stove, he walked to her. "Dinner's ready."

"I'll bring the book, we can continue this fun."

Taking the book away from her, Jess smirked, closing it. "I'm bored."

"Jess, we're naming our child."

"I'm sure sometime in the next months we'll reach an agreement. Now go sit down, I thought you were starving."

"I am starving."

"So?" He smirked and she shook her head, hopping off the counter.

"We're not done with this conversation." Wrapping her arms around him, she kissed him quickly.

"I know."

"Fine, food." Kissing him one more time, she grabbed both of the coffee cups, refilling them before sitting down at the table.

The next afternoon, they walked back in their apartment. Kissing Rory's temple, Jess pointed at the kitchen.

"Coffee?"

"No." She pouted, sitting down on the couch. Taking a deep breath, Jess sat down next to her, waiting for her to lie down, resting her head in his lap.

"That house was…"

"Horrible?" He smirked, running his fingers through her hair.

"Pretty much, yeah. It was tiny and cramped and there was no room for anything and why did that lady keep talking about babies and how good that room would be for a child!"

"Ror, she was…"

Sitting up on the couch, she took a deep breath. "And did you see that room? It was a closet! No, I've seen bigger closets! Mom's bathroom is bigger! Like I'm going to stick our baby in a freaking closet!"

"Rory, she didn't mean anything by it."

"Oh, yeah, she did. I mean what kind of a parent does she think would put their child in a closet? Do I really look that awful and horrible that I would want it to be in a room where we couldn't even fit a crib and a changing table at the same time?"

"I highly doubt that house is a slam on your parenting skills."

"Yes, it was!"

"Ror?" He smiled and she shook her head, kissing him.

"If she ever calls again…"

"You don't have to talk to her."

"We're not buying a house from her. I don't care if she finds us the greatest place on Earth, we are never dealing with her again. Ever."

"Ok."

"You're calm! How can you be calm when she assumed we're the worst parents on earth? Brett is going to have everything, not a freaking closet!"

"She didn't assume anything. She was doing her job. She has to be happy and smile stupidly and pretend it's the greatest place on earth."

"I'm pissed off."

"Really? I couldn't tell." Taking her hand, he pulled her into a hug, tangling his hand in her hair and kissing her temple. "We're not taking the house. It's not worth wasting the energy."

"Ranting is not wasting energy. It's productive!"

"Ok." He smiled, kissing her temple again.

"I hate her."

"I know."

"She's horrible."

"Uh-huh."

"Stop agreeing to everything I say."

"I did not agree to everything you said."

"Well, you're agreeing now so stop it."

"No?" He chuckled, pulling back and kissing her. Smiling, Rory lied back down on the couch, her hand resting on her bump.

"It's ok, baby, you'll have a good room. No stupid closet."

After a few seconds, he pushed her hair away, looking down at her. "Ror?"

"Yeah?"

"You called it Brett."

Sitting up on the bed, she cupped his face in her hand, grinning. "If she hates it, I am going to tell her it's your fault."

"Fine."

"And we still need to pick a middle name. That is not Ashley!"

"Fine." He smiled, kissing her palm.

"And I am keeping Catherine as a last case scenario, even if I like it."

"Also fine."

"And when grandma goes on a rant, you will be there, helping me defend the choice."

"See above."

"I love you." She smiled, crushing her mouth to his.

"What…"

"Because you're happy and I really, really like seeing you like this."

"I love you too." He placed quick kisses on her lips, smiling. "Thank you."

"You don't have anything to thank me for." Lying back down on the couch, she placed her hands on her bump, grinning. "Hey, baby Brett."

"Now you're convinced it's a girl?"

"I think so."

"Will you be disappointed if it's not?" Smoothing down her hair, he looked at her.

"No. I don't care what it is, as long as it's healthy and looks like you." Rory laughed, closing her eyes to enjoy the feeling of his fingers playing in her hair. "I just think it's a girl."

"So, pink tea parties?"

"Pink tea parties…"