Chapter 13. The last chapter.
Penn batted his eyelids open slowly as the dim sunlight of the hazy New York morning shone through the windows of the car. Before he was really aware of what he was doing, his eyes had landed on the beautiful figure lying next to him. Her hands sprawled across his chest and her legs wrapped up in his. His eyes explored her face, taking in everything she was.
He watched her eyelids flicker and her chest slowly rise and fall at each breath she took. His eyes lowered to her hands; where he rested his right hand on top of hers and rubbed it slightly. Following concentric circles around the back of her hand. He didn't want to wake her just yet and a lot of people would've thought any contact would wake her up; but Penn knew different. He'd quickly learnt that she was quite a deep sleeper and would take more than a touch on the hand to wake her up. He had spent 3 years waking up to her after all.
She was so breathtakingly beautiful. She literally took his breath away, he couldn't stop watching her; thinking about how he could have ever let her go. He slowly moved his head closer to hers and gently placed a kiss on her forehead. Her eyelids slowly battled open as her arms loosened from their grip on his body. She wriggled her body and groaned at the awakening as the bright sunlight burned in her direction. He still watched her with thoughtful eyes until she lifted her eyes to look into his. Blake tilted her head upwards so she was looking at him.
"Hi" She smiled as a beam crept across her lips.
"Good morning." He smiled as he brought his lips against hers. Their heads were almost touching as they looked deeply into each other's glistening eyes. She bit her lip as she pulled away and placed her hand on the seat of the car to raise herself up.
"Hey where are you going?" He questioned as he followed her actions and got up so he was sat next to her. Her hands fidgeted in her lap as she watched them cautiously; afraid to look into his eyes because she knew her words would upset him.
"I have to go see Ryan." He looked at her; almost sympathetically at the fact she thought he'd be mad about that. Instead he placed his hand on top of hers.
"It's fine. I completely understand." Her eyes flew upwards to meet his, confused yet admiring.
"Really?"
"Yes. I know you have to go tell him what's happened. It's fine, really." He spoke as he drew his head closer to hers and kissed her softly. She was bewildered by his selflessness as she watched him in awe. She raised her spare hand to his cheek.
"I love you." She paused. "You don't ever have to worry about Ryan or anybody else coming between us. Because I'm yours now. And we're going to get married." She said excitedly as she tried to hide an obvious beam that threatened to appear on her lips. Penn smirked a distorted smile as his eyes danced around her face.
"Do you wanna go see him now?" Blake moved away from his watch on her and looked down as her hands tangled in his.
"The sooner I go the sooner we can be together?" She aimed sympathetically.
"Okay. Let's go." Penn detached his fingers from hers and clambered into the front seat while untangling the blanket from their legs. She quickly hopped in the front after him.
They arrived outside Blake's house as Penn parked the car on the street outside. He looked down; surprised at how nervous he was. He didn't know why he felt this way. It wasn't as though he was scared Blake would change her mind and stay with Ryan but he just felt this aching in the pit of his stomach. Maybe because he was breaking up a marriage. Who was he to ruin a marriage? He suddenly felt a streak of guilt as he nervously tried to shake the thoughts out of his head.
"You okay?" She looked at him, concerned; sensing the fear in his face as his jaw clenched.
"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine." He lied, refusing to look in her eyes.
"Hey." She rested her hand on top of his and brushed her thumb over his knuckles. "I want do this. I want to be with you. Not him. I want to be your wife." She emphasised "Not his."
Penn felt a weight lift from his body at her words; maybe he just needed to hear those words fall from her lips. To feel as though he was the one she'd chosen; and to be confident in what they were doing. He flipped his hand over so it was caught up in hers and looked up at her. Their eyes traced each other's faces for a few moments until Blake broke the silence that had encompassed them.
"Okay, I don't know how long I'm going to be so why don't you go back to your place and I'll come as soon as I'm done." He smiled at her softly; scared for her because he knew she was nervous. Knew this was something she didn't want to do, but had to. He watched her trying to express his understanding in the calmness of his brown eyes.
"Okay." He replied, his voice just above a whisper. Her fingers gripped on his for a second; to ensure him she was coming back. That one simple gesture to prove to him she was still his. Despite leaving him for her husband. But she was only leaving for a while; she would return to him. Her lips formed a soft, apologetic smile as she detached herself from his gaze and turned to open the car door.
She felt fear swirl around her being as she slowly slid a key into the lock on the door. Her fingers trembled and she couldn't keep her hand steady as fright engulfed her. She turned her head for a second to see if he was still there. He wasn't. The remains of the past 2 days with him had vanished. As if it had never happened. It could have so easily been a dream. It was so blissfully perfect it almost had to be a dream.
She twisted the key in the lock and pushed the door open carefully with her spare hand.
"Where the hell have you been?!" Ryan roared as he hurriedly paced towards her. Her throat tightened. She didn't regret what she had done, where she had been, who she'd been with. She didn't regret a second of it. But she did feel guilty; because regardless of his flaws and his mistakes; he has been good to her and he deserved better. He deserved someone who's heart hadn't belonged to someone else all along. She gulped.
"Sit down." She raised her hand and gestured towards the couch. Her hand still unsteady. Ryan looked at her with nothing but anger in his eyes. He knew what she was going to say, he could see it in her eyes. His heart boiled with fire as he watched her. She looked happy. No matter how dark and twisted the situation they were in; she hid a slight smile under her lips. He could see bliss plastered all over her eyes and his fists clenched at the sight. He knew she had betrayed him and he knew he'd never be able to forgive her. He knew their relationship was doomed from the second he saw the light in her eyes. The light that had been drained by his darkness. A light that could only be filled by the warmth of his hands on hers. His eyes searching in hers. The feel of his body entwined with hers. He was the light of her life. Maybe Ryan wasn't the darkness, but simply incapable of making her happy, shining in her midst. Because there was only one that could do that to her. And every time her thoughts were clouded by thoughts of him she felt her heart skip a beat. A flutter in her stomach and a hidden smile sprawl across her lips.
They wet both sat on the couch. Ryan was seething underneath the blissfully unaware exterior he possessed. As if he didn't know. As if he wouldn't have guessed. Because her eyes gave it away. They always had.
"Okay, I don't really know where to start but I do know you respect honesty and you probably would rather I just told you than explain everything first, maybe I should just tell you now rather than going on. Going into details of where it all changed; frankly I don't know when it changed. Maybe it never did. Maybe I've always felt this way." Blake was a little taken back by her realisation. Ryan was too angry to speak; as though the happiness in her voice made him sick with an inability to open his lips and even pretend he cared. It's not like she deserved it. "I'm so sorry, Ryan. This has nothing to do with you or how you've been this...this is all me. I-" she paused as she felt her eyes gloss over as she dipped her head to watch her hands rub her arms loosely.
"How dare you?" He blurted out unsure how his demeanour had changed so abruptly.
"What?" She trembled; guilt embracing her in the blink of an eye.
"Was it with him?" As if she should know who 'him' was. But of course she knew, it was blatantly obvious. The 'him' who had loomed over their relationship ever since the beginning. The 'him' Ryan feared he would never be as good as. Apparently he wasn't.
"Ryan..." Blake attempted to reason with him, to apologise for her lack of restraint. But she knew she couldn't restrain. How is it possible to ignore the one you love? To not want to be with them because that was all Blake wanted; all she had wanted for a long time. Maybe ever since they broke up. Maybe she was only just realising that now.
"I can't believe you." Ryan jolted from his seat and rose above her fragile figure. She slowly lifted her timid body up to face him.
"I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say."
"There's nothing you can say." Ryan flared. "I can't believe you would cheat on me. And with him!" Ryan looked disgusted at the thought. He had always hated Penn. Blake just wanted to scream at him for being so hateful to the man she loved but she knew she had no right. Blake's eyes rested on the floor, unable to look at his eyes; burning with fury. But she was still a little confused at how he had worked out what had happened without her really having to say anything. Was he so untrusting that he jumped to conclusions instantly?
"How...how did you know?" She attempted to distil his anger if only for a moment. Ryan looked up at her eyes. Yup, he could still see it. That layer of happiness that was almost guarded fully by the guilt displayed at the front. But he could see behind all that; the distain, the pain, the remorse. "I can see it in your eyes." He spoke, his tone suddenly much calmer than before. Blake's eyes widened at his confession; perplexed at how he had the ability to see her so clearly. "I can see that you're happy. You look, you look happier than I've ever seen you." He was no longer shouting, fury erupting inside him. Simply a figure that seemed to suppress no emotion, if only that were true. Blake hated the fact his last words made her smile. She tried to hide it but it seeped through her lips; threatening to overcome her. He was right. She'd never been this happy with Ryan. Only with Penn. She stepped closer towards him, treading on dangerous grounds.
"I'm sorry." She spoke. Her eyes wide and her eyebrows had burrowed into an apologetic position. She really meant it. She did. Because despite how much she loved Penn; Ryan didn't deserve this. And she truly did feel guilty. Ryan's blank expression stared back at her; seemingly uncaring and oblivious. But she knew better. She knew he was upset and she was truly sorry for that.
"Just not sorry enough." Ryan declared.
And with that Blake turned her back to leave. Leaving behind a world that she once thought was best for her; one that would give her everything she wanted. How wrong she was.
Blake left his house, their house; quietly, cautiously escaping the life that was no longer hers. She hopped in her car and drove off; she had to get away from there as soon as possible. She knew it was a long drive back to Penn's house but despite the fact she was desperate to see him; she knew the time alone would be good for her; she needed a moment to think. She needed to process the past few days, weeks even, and really understand where she was and what she was doing with her life.
Her thoughts rushed into her mind like a hurricane and at times there were too many to comprehend but after driving for 30 or so minutes her thoughts had settled and she felt much more at peace. More relaxed. She felt happy and relieved as a feeling of contentment washed over her. She hadn't felt this peaceful in a while; maybe it helped by the quiet streets mixed with the beautiful surroundings that encircled her. The light snow that fell onto the city streets and the sight of smiles on the children's faces as they watched each snowflake fall.
Before long she had arrived outside Penn's house; she had been driving for well over 40 minutes but it was as though she had been dreaming the entire time, lost in a world of her own; unaware of anything and everything else going on. Her mind distracted by so many thoughts and memories that time had passed her by in an instant. It was almost as though if she blinked, she'd miss it.
But this moment, she didn't want to miss. She knew she wouldn't. This was going to be one of the happiest moments of her life. What was waiting for her on the other side of that door was the rest of her life. The door held the key to her future and once it was open there was no turning back. Not that she'd ever want to. This was exactly where she wanted to be; in fact she had been beaming ever since she had left the car; her hand now resting on the door frame; awaiting her future to gobble her whole.
The door swung open and she instantly grabbed his face in her hands as she leaped closer to him and kissed him like she never had before. His arms instantaneously wrapped around her body, holding her as close to him as humanly possible. They shared a passionate kiss and it felt as though time had stood still, like the room was empty and they were the only two entities left in the world. She slowly removed her lips from his and giggled as she watched his eyes slowly peer open.
"Can I come in?" She joked. His mouth instantly formed into a beam as he started laughing. All the while she was watching him smile. She loved his smile.
She slowly slipped her hands to the back of his neck and began brushing her fingers against the waves of his hair. She could watch him forever but right now she just wanted to be with him so she pulled his head closer to hers and began kissing him again; this time with more force and urgency. Their mouths were wrapped together as their tongues battled against each other. Penn pulled away slowly opening his eyes to look at her. Her lips were slightly swollen and stuck towards his wanting to kiss him again.
He took a breath before he spoke; "are you sure you don't wanna talk first?" Without any thought at all she shook her head and gripped at his neck harder and pulled him back towards her. They continued kissing for several minutes; arms wrapped around each other's warm bodies while their tongues were snaked together in their mouths.
They broke the kiss and gazed deeply into each other's eyes; their eyes spoke a language that no one else could understand. He slowly bent down and draped his arms over the backs of her legs and swiftly lifted her up so he was carrying her; the way people did after they got married. She locked her arms tightly around his neck as he carried her up the stairs to his bedroom.
Penn lay on top of Blake's body; his elbows holding him up, his head positioned just above hers with their noses only centimetres apart. Her hands rested on his lower back with his legs entangled in hers.
"So this is it, right?" Blake asked with eyebrows raised as her eyes searched his. "We're back together?" He raised his arm so he could envelope his hand around her neck, his fingers locking in her hair.
"Not only are we back together, but we're going to get married. You're going to be my wife, Blake." His words stunned her as she felt a wave of emotion wash over her stomach. She could feel salty tears begin to emerge in the corner of her blue eyes. She raised her head a little so she could place a soft kiss on his cheek.
"I can't wait!" She beamed at him as he smiled in return. He thought it was the biggest smile he had ever seen and he knew he'd spent the rest of his life making sure that smile never faded. The warmth and the love in her eyes would never disappear and that she would always, always know how much he loved her. He would remind her of that every day until the day he died. Because this was it for them. They were getting married and he already knew it was going to be the greatest day of his life.
"I promise to love you until the day I die." He vowed to her, feeling an urge to express his love for her. A small tear drooped down her cheek and his brushed it off with the pad of his thumb.
"So will I. I love you more than anything in this entire world, and as long as I'm with you I will always be the happiest I can be. I love you, Penn Badgley." He chuckled slightly, his hand still resting on her cheek.
"And I love you, Blake Lively." He mocked in response. She shook her head from side to side.
"No. Blake Badgley." He rubbed her cheek slowly and then wrapped his hand back around her neck and tantalisingly slowly brought her face to his. Their lips brushed against each other gently, but only for a second until he pulled his lips away from hers and looked into her eyes; making sure she knew exactly how happy he was. Her lips formed a soft smile as her eyes widened open to gaze into his chocolaty brown eyes, the eyes she would so often get lost in; the eyes that had always had the ability to make her feel so undeniably loved. She laid her hand on the back of his neck tentatively as she felt him gravitate further towards her again. They both opened their lips as their mouths met and they moved their lips against each other's. The kiss got more forceful as they found their mouths battling together as their tongues entwined together; both moaning against each other's lips. He broke away as he bit her lip. "You sure you want to cheat on Ryan again?" He smirked. She ran her hands over the collar of his shirt, pulling it away from his skin. "Only with you." She smiled seductively at him and pulled him back to her by the top of his shirt. Soon their hands were all over each other as his tongue explored her mouth.
They both felt feelings of pleasure mix between their bodies as they relished in being so close and being able to just be together again was such an incredible feeling. Knowing they'd be spending the rest of their lives together was enough to cause waves of passion and wildness to wash over them both. Blake's hand slowly drifted away from his bare back with his muscles flexing in her hands as it fell to the side of the mattress. Penn untangled his right hand from her blonde locks and floated towards her open palm. The moment their fingers touched they wrapped them together so their hands were locked as one. Penn raised their interlaced hands above Blake's head as they continued to kiss on the bed.
Blake thought about all those days she spent watching him in the hospital, wondering if she'd ever see the light of his piercing brown eyes again. Praying that one day he would wake up.
She had no idea that Penn's accident had been such a blessing. Thinking about it now she realised without it she may still be with Ryan and who knows, maybe they wouldn't have ended up together that way. It was funny how things worked out; it made her question all the things that confused her as a younger woman; destiny, the stars, fate.
Maybe they were supposed to be together and all it took was a little waiting and a lot of heartache; but in the end they made it. Maybe fate really had brought them back together she thought as she smiled against his lips.
"I'm so happy I'm with you" she mumbled in between kisses. He just continued to kiss her as he nodded his head in response.
Fate. That was what she called it. It may have worked in a mysterious and painful way but it had brought them back together and so she would always be thankful for that; regardless how they got there.
A/N: And that's it folks. It's all over. I have really, really loved writing this story and especially since it's my first ever it'll always mean a lot to me. I really hope you guys have enjoyed it and I am so, so thankful for all of your reviews; they really do mean a lot. I will be writing again I'm sure of it and I'm sorry I've been so bad at updating lately but exams and revising has now basically taken over my life; but they'll be over in a month and then I'll have all the time in the world to write. I have an idea for my next chapter which will be a lot longer than this one I'm sure. But I doubt that'll be up for another month, I really should take a break while I'm doing my exams. Anyway thank you all so much and I'd love to hear what you thought of the whole story. Thank you! (Let's hope this happens in real life, huh? Maybe they do belong together we just have to wait.)