Author: Raven Shadowrose

Rating: M

Pairing: ?/?

Summary: Sequel to Epiphany, Jeff and Dixie are trying to have a baby, what happens when it is likely to be more difficult than they first thought?

Disclaimer: I do not know or own any of the characters from Casualty, any original characters and the story are my property and I do not give permission for either of them to be used.

A/N: This is a direct sequel to Epiphany, please read that first to understand this story :) Reviews are welcome :)

Thank you to BeethovenRIP and chan. nelson4444 for your reviews, I hope you enjoy this chapter

Chapter Twenty-Three.

Jeff didn't know how Dixie had managed everything, she'd convinced the school to let them have a look around during the holidays and to sign the kids up quickly. He'd always known that Dixie could be very convincing and she'd proved it with the way that she dealt with the headmaster of the school. She had been amazing and practically him eating out of the palm of her hand and falling over himself to give her everything that she wanted. They'd ordered uniforms for both the kids from the shop and they would be delivered to the store for them to pick when they were ready. Dixie had everything organised, he was grateful, he wouldn't have made it through any of this without her.

Jeff closed the door behind him, he'd taken Little Abs for a walk, Dixie was busy preparing for the move, they'd found a house that suited their needs and as it was new they didn't need to do much to it. Jeff was happy that they didn't have to do much decorating, they would have to sort out the nursery but he would do that in his spare time, he didn't want Dixie near any chemicals or paint that could harm her or the baby. He'd been getting more protective of her lately, she was getting bigger and the bump was more noticeable than ever before now. Dixie was growing quickly, it didn't seem all that long since they had found out she was pregnant. He remembered that day very well, getting the call from Tamzin and finding out that Dixie was in hospital because she'd collapsed. He'd been so worried about her, that something bad had happened to her. He was relieved when he found out that she had just fainted and there was nothing seriously wrong with her. It had turned out well and they'd found out that they were going to have a baby. Jeff vowed that he would protect Dixie and their baby no matter what.

Dixie hummed to herself as she packed the things into boxes that they didn't need, they would be moving into a new house at the weekend, she'd managed to arrange cover for both herself and Jeff for a couple of days and was very grateful to Tamzin for stepping into her shoes once again. She went through the mental list of things she had to do before the move went ahead. There was plenty to do, in between work and looking after the kids she was getting as much done as she possibly could. She picked up the box and put it in the corner with the rest of them. 'Dixie, what are you doing? I thought you were going to wait until I got back to start packing.'

'I just wanted to get a head start, we have a lot to do Jeff.'

'I know that, but you're not supposed to be lifting things.'

'It was just a small box Jeff, what's got into you?'

'I just don't want anything to happen to you or the baby.'

'I'm pregnant, not ill Jeff.'

'Exactly, you're pregnant, you need to be careful.'

'I am being careful, I'm leaving the bigger boxes to you.'

'I'd rather you didn't lift anything.'

'So you want me pregnant and barefoot, sitting down and letting the menfolk do all the work for me? Maybe I should give up working too, stay at home and have tea on the table ready for when you come in from work, is that what you want?'

'Is there a right answer to that question?'

'I don't know why you don't trust me, what do you think that I'm going to do, do you honestly think that I would endanger our baby?'

'No, I don't think that.'

'Then stop being so overprotective.'

'Overprotective? I just want to look after you Dixie.'

'I am an independent woman Jeff, all of this is making me feel stifled.'

'So, what, you don't want me to care for you? Would rather that I didn't care or show any interest?'

'That's not what I'm saying.'

'What are you saying Dixie?'

'You're wrapping me up in cotton wool again, I want you to trust me and to trust that I can look after myself and our baby.'

'Fine.' Dixie sighed, Jeff was very stubborn and he was reacting in completely the wrong way to what she had said to him.

Jeff busied himself with moving the rest of the boxes, the ones that Dixie didn't have the time to move before he had come back. He didn't understand why Dixie didn't want him to protect her and the baby, he was only doing what he thought was best for the both of them. 'I do trust you Dixie but I want to protect you too, you're not alone Dixie. That's all I meant. Pregnancy is hard on women and I just want to help you, to support you through this.'

'I know you do but I can lift small boxes Jeff, nothing is going to happen to me or the baby because I picked a small box up.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes, I'll stay away from the bigger boxes though. You've got to let me do things, there's still almost seven months to go and I will go mad if you don't let me do anything for myself.'

'Aren't you already mad Dixie?' Jeff readied himself for the slap from Dixie but it never came.

'Cheeky sod, I'll give you mad.' Jeff couldn't help himself, he laughed and then Dixie laughed as well.

'I mean it though, just be careful, please Dixie.'

'I will, I won't let anything happen to our baby.' Jeff hugged Dixie close to him, he hadn't meant to make Dixie mad or upset her, he was just concerned that she would get hurt, he hoped that she understood that he just wanted to take care of her.

Dixie went upstairs to check on Sophia, John had gone outside and was playing football with Jeff, she knocked on the door and went in. 'Hello Sophia, how are you?'

'I heard you and daddy arguing earlier.'

'We weren't really arguing, we just had to talk something through.'

'Daddy used to say that all of the time, he would tell me that they weren't really arguing and then we had to go away and leave daddy here.'

'That's not going to happen again, I love your daddy Sophia, he just gets very protective and sometimes it drives me a little mad.'

'My daddy loves you Dixie and I love you too.'

'I love you too Sophia, don't worry, I promise you that me and your dad are not going to split up.'

'Really, you promise?'

'Yes, nothing is going to make me leave your dad.'

'Okay.' Dixie put her arms around Sophia and hugged her, she was sorry that the kids had heard the argument between herself and Jeff, they'd been through enough.

Jeff sat with John, they'd been playing football in the garden. 'Dad, do you love Dixie?'

'Yes, very much.'

'Did you love mum too?'

'Yes, I did.'

'Mum is different now.' Jeff just listened to John talk, it was rare that he shared his feelings with anyone so Jeff didn't want to interrupt him. 'She used to be okay, then mum and Alan started arguing all the time, she was mean to us too. She started saying things like you weren't our real dad and Alan was our dad, they'd argue about that a lot.'

'What else happened?'

'She'd say that Sophia was too much like you and she needed to stop her being like that, she needed to change her and make her different, it used to make Sophia feel bad. There were times we would stay together in my room and just hug while they were arguing. I did my best to protect Sophia dad, just like you asked me to.'

'I'm proud of you for that, you're with me and Dixie now and we will protect you both.'

'I tried to stop mum from hurting her, I really did.'

'How do you mean hurting her?'

'There were times when mum would go to hit Sophia, Alan would stop her most of the time and I would stop her too. She would get mad at me but I didn't care.' Jeff struggled to contain his anger, he was glad that John was talking to him and opening up about what happened with Lucy, he didn't want his son keeping it all inside. He was angry at Lucy, how could she even think of laying a finger on the kids?

Dixie and Jeff sat on the sofa after putting the kids to bed, it had been a hectic day sorting out things for the move and their little argument hadn't helped. Dixie was glad that she had made it up with Jeff, she cuddled up to Jeff and put her head on his shoulder. 'Penny for your thoughts Jeff.'

'It's nothing.'

'Come on Jeff, I know it is not nothing.'

'John told me that Lucy used to try and hit Sophia.'

'Oh, those poor kids, they've been through so much. I could never lay a hand on any child.'

'I know Dixie, you're a wonderful person, our baby, Sophia and John are so lucky.'

'They're lucky to have a wonderful daddy too.' Dixie wondered how much more stuff Jeff would have to put up with, how many more things John and Sophia hadn't told him. Pushing the kids to tell them everything wasn't a good idea, it would come out when the kids were ready to talk. She vowed to make herself available whenever they needed to talk to her.

Jeff took comfort from having Dixie so close to him, he needed her by his side, she was his rock during this time and he was grateful that she was with him. 'I love you Dixie, you know that, right?'

'Of course I know it. I love you too, we might have little arguments from time to time but it doesn't mean we don't care about each other.'

'I'll try not to be too overprotective in future.'

'I think I overreacted a little bit, you were just trying to take care of me and our baby and that's never wrong.' Jeff kissed Dixie's head and held her close, he groaned when the phone rang. 'Ignore it Dixie.'

'We can't, it might be important.' Jeff let go of Dixie and she answered the phone, he watched her speak to whoever it was and then held the phone out. 'It's for you.'

'Who is it?'

'It's Alan.'

'What does he want?'

'I don't know, he wants to speak to you.' Jeff took the phone from Dixie and held it to his ear.

'Hello.'

'Hello Jeff, I need to speak with you.'

'What about?'

'It's Lucy, there's no easy way to tell you this.'

'Tell me what?'

'She tried to kill herself, I went back to talk to her and found her in the bathroom, she'd taken a lot of tablets and a bottle of vodka.'

'Where is she now?'

'She's in hospital, they think that she is going to be okay after they've pumped her stomach.' Jeff didn't know what to say. 'They're looking at sectioning her as she keeps saying that she wants to die. The psychiatric team have been down and they arranging for more tests to see what is wrong with her but they seem to think that she has bipolar disorder.'

'Oh, right.'

'I'll keep you informed with everything that happens.'

'Thanks Alan.'

'I have to go but I'll call back when I know more.' Jeff listened to the dial tone purring in his ear, just how much more was he going to have to put John and Sophia through?

Dixie heard everything, she put her hand on top of Jeff's and squeezed it. 'Jeff love, are you all right?'

'I don't know, how am I supposed to feel?'

'I can't tell you that Jeff.'

'What am I going to tell the kids?'

'You can just tell them that their mum isn't very well and is being looked after in hospital, they don't need to know what she tried to do.'

'Should I wake them?'

'No love, let them sleep, we can tell them tomorrow.'

'You're right.'

'Come on love, you need to sleep, we have a shift tomorrow.' Dixie felt for Jeff, he really was going through a lot at the moment, she took his hand in hers and shut the light off in the lounge, she hoped that Jeff would be able to get a little bit of sleep.

Jeff lay in bed, why had Lucy tried to harm herself, he had known something was wrong, she had been weird the last time they met. Was there something he could have done to stop her? Jeff sighed, how was he going to tell John and Sophia? He wasn't sure how to feel, should he be sad, angry, hurt, upset? He looked up as Dixie came into the room in her pyjamas, she climbed into the bed and he just looked at her. 'Come here love.' Jeff moved into Dixie's arms, he moved his hand to Dixie's belly and left it there. His emotions were frayed, he sighed again, sometimes life was just too hard. 'Jeff you need to rest, please try and sleep love.'

'Just hold me Dixie.'

'I will.' Jeff felt Dixie's hand rubbing soothing circles across his back, she always knew how to calm him and make him feel a bit better. Sleep was coming to him, he was powerless to resist it.

Dixie made sure that Jeff was asleep before she closed her eyes, her main concern was the kids and Jeff and she was going to be there for them during all of this. Jeff was going to need her support when telling the kids about all of this tomorrow, she hoped that he would be able to get through the working day. Dixie knew that Jeff was stressed out and it was those times that he found work hard and he was likely to lose his temper with someone. Dixie held Jeff in her arms, she would be there for him, she wouldn't leave him alone or let him struggle through this difficult time.