Scarlett arrived ten minutes later, she no longer looked furious but now she looked defensive. Before getting to his table, she'd picked up a bottle of whisky from the bar. She filled their glasses. Spike stared at her silently, trying to figure out why she decided to meet him. She gulped her glass before starting, "ok, I'm gonna explain as much as I feel like, ok?" Spike lit a cigarette and leaned back on his chair, "fair enough, pet."
Scarlett also lit a cigarette and poured more whisky in her glass, "to understand my reaction you need to know where I come from. I've been a freak, an outcast all my fucking life. I barely had any friends at all, the only people that I had in my life were my mom, my watcher and my boyfriend. I may have great social skills when it comes to people I help or I interact on a regular basis that are not part of my personal life, but when it comes to people getting close to me I don't know how to act. And this is because I was the Slayer, so when I became a vampire I thought that would change. I was wrong, it became worse because I didn't belong to neither world. I wasn't a human, but I wasn't a vampire either, in the sense of vampire standards, I mean. I thought that somehow I could be a normal girl and I was wrong."
Spike understood her completely, he had seen and heard Buffy some years ago say something along those line. He poured some more whisky and asked "why you thought it would be different?" She took a deep breath, drank more whisky and continued, "because I was no longer bound to my Slayer duty. The irony of this is that while I was still alive all I wanted was to be the Slayer, to do my best. It was my priority over everything else, including my love life. And when I died and I had the freedom to keep fighting without any attachments, all I wanted was a sort of normal life, you know, considering I was an undead."
Spike pondered if to ask her or not, but his curiosity got the better of him, "you wanted to be with your boyfriend now that you were no longer bound to duty, ain't it?" She forced a laugh, "one would think so, but no, I didn't want to be with him. I didn't know what I wanted but for sure it was not him." Spike was surprised by her answer, "I remember back when I tracked you down in LA and then NYC, that you had been with that same boyfriend for several years, is there something I'm missing here?" She drank more whisky before answering, "that's the thing. I did care for him, a lot, but I always felt something was missing, I never felt passion with him, I didn't truly love him; and me being the Slayer didn't really help at all. Couldn't afford to be picky, you know? I was never aware of this until my last year as a human. Some time after I moved to NYC he proposed to me and at first I was happy; but then he started planning our lives, my life, in ways that it would interfere with my Slayer duties." "Such as?" he asked. "Such as planning children, I mean, yeah, that's what normal couples do, right? Except I didn't want children, nor the whole housewife cliché. He didn't exactly understand the extents of being a Slayer: danger, staying up till almost dawn, etc, etc. And even if I wanted children, what was I gonna do? Go out patrolling with an advanced pregnancy? Not to mention the fact that Slayers have a short lifetime. I knew what my risks were but he didn't. I knew there was the chance of me getting killed either after getting married, or while pregnant or after I gave birth. I wasn't gonna bring a child into this world knowing he or she would lose their mom quite soon. And all that clusterfuck of emotions sank in me the night I got killed," she finished.
"You had a death wish," Spike added while he lit another smoke. He knew exactly what she meant, "you wanted it over, but why didn't you break up if you didn't want that for your life?" She sighed, "I didn't want to hurt him, and it wasn't like I planned to die either. It simply happened, I know I could have taken all your gang but I was too overwhelmed with all my drama and I let my guard down and didn't fight at full strength. In a way, I let myself get killed. That's why I'm not angry at you for me being dead," she finished, and gulped another shot of whisky.
"Ok, you didn't want him, and I take he never knew what really happened to you, then what did you want, pet? What made you think that being a vampire would make your situation change?" Spike asked as he put out his cigarette and poured more whisky in his glass. "I don't know, I guess I didn't want to be alone, but alas I ended up being completely alone, and I became somewhat paranoid," she replied, and Spike interrupted before she could continue, "paranoid? About what?" She chuckled and answered, "men. Not knowing how would they react about me being a vampire. Like I said before, I don't belong to neither world. Humans are afraid of me, and vampires hate me because well, I have a soul and evil bloodsucker I see is an evil bloodsucker I stake. So as you can see, there was like zero chances at any sort of relationship, even if it was a one-night-stand. I couldn't afford having a slight chance at me being staked in my sleep."
Spike wasn't sure he understood what she meant, and his confused face prompted Scarlett to reply before he even asked, "what I'm saying is that prior to last night, the last time I slept with someone was the night before I died." The confession made Spike spit the whisky he was just drinking, "beg pardon? How did I get to be the exception?" That explains all the passion and lust from last night, two decades of no sex, bloody hell, he thought while waiting for her answer. She stared at her glass, purposely avoiding eye contact, "is not like I planned it, it just happened, and I didn't stop you because I wanted it to happen and I felt I could trust you that you wouldn't stake me in my sleep. You and Angel are the only two vampires I met that actually didn't want to dust me because I, like both of you, have a soul. Same reason I wouldn't stake either of you." Spike didn't like that Angel was brought into the mix, "so if it had been Angel the one that stayed instead of me, you would have slept with him?" he asked with an edge of annoyance. "No, I wouldn't have. Remember I told that twenty years ago I wondered what sleeping with you would be like. Chance was at hand, we both were in the mood and it happened, and I don't regret it," she replied and gulped what little whisky remained in the bottle. "I'm gonna get another of this," she said pointing to the bottle and left.
Spike was still trying to process all the information, yet he couldn't figure out why she acted all mad and defensive earlier at the cemetery. Scarlett intrigued him and raised a million questions in his mind. He surely wouldn't have guessed that a girl as gorgeous and mysterious as she was would be completely lonely for two decades. He felt bad for her, not having anyone to confide or talk or anything for two full decades. Scarlett returned with a brand new bottle and poured more whisky in their glasses. Spike gulped his shot and asked, "why did you get so angry at me earlier?" She raised her glass, staring absently into it and replied "I don't know." Spike raised an eyebrow and leaned on the table, forcing her to make eye contact, "I don't buy it, so spill it out, pet." She took a swig and sighed heavily, "like I said, I don't know how to act when it comes to certain subjects and I don't know how I feel about it, I'm not exactly a scholar when it comes to these matters. I have slept exactly with two men in my life, remember?"
Spike felt there was something she was hiding, but couldn't figure what. "Ok, enough about me. Now I get to ask questions," she said, and Spike sighed, "fair enough, what you wanna know, pet?" She poured more whisky, "how you got your soul? Did you piss off gypsies like Angel said he did?" Oh bloody brilliant, couldn't it be an easier question?
Spike spent the next couple of hours retelling everything that happened to him since the moment he set foot on Sunnydale; and since Scarlett had answered all his questions, he did the same. They were on their fourth bottle of whisky by and just only then they were starting to be somewhat tipsy, and Spike noticed she was relaxed, all the defensiveness completely gone. Once the bottle was empty, she stood up and put on her coat. "Leaving already?" he asked surprised and she replied, "yup, I'd love to keep drinking and talking with you, but I don't want to get drunk if I have to drive home. I can drive you to your place if you want." "Sure," he said, although he didn't want her to leave, and added, smirking, "don't suppose you'd let me ride that Ninja, do you?" She chuckled, "no, you cannot ride the Ninja because I brought my car, and there's no way I'm gonna let you drive my car." Spike raised an eyebrow and teased her while walking out of the club, "you mean that old convertible I had the pleasure of travelling in the trunk? Pftt." "No, not the convertible but that car," she said while pointing across the street. Spike felt his jaw drop, "son of a bitch! You got a bloody Viper?!" Scarlett smiled mischievously, "uh huh, I have a thing for weapons and wheels."
He didn't know if it was the alcohol, or the excitement about the car, or what; but as soon as they reached the first traffic light he felt the urge to kiss her, and she didn't resist. When the light finally changed to green, she softly asked, "do I really have to drive you to your place?" He shook his head while smiling seductively, and Scarlett sped off.