Me: *sneaks in to post* Don't own Avatar…co-wrote this chapter with Caelum Blue…sorry it took so long, I had finals…now I should have more time…please don't throw tomatoes or cabbages at me…cabbages hurt…

Lupe slowly blinked her eyes open, gradually becoming aware of her surroundings. There were a lot of moaning sounds, and some crying, and someone was bending over her. Pretty much every part of Lupe's body hurt like hell, and she wasn't enjoying the sensation. But there was some sort of coolness making its way along her arm, soothing the pain…

Her vision began to work properly, and Lupe realized that she was being Healed by none other than Katara of the Southern Water Tribe. The realization that one-half of her favorite Avatar pairing was currently using her Bending to help Lupe feel better caused the girl to sit up sharply, causing her entire body to flare up in pain and Katara to jump back in surprise, her water splashing to the floor.

"Lie back!" Katara insisted, picking up her water with her Bending. "You shouldn't move until I've finished healing you!"

"Are you with Zuko?" Lupe demanded, the need to actually ask that question overriding the pain she felt. "Do you have feelings of any kind for him?"

"Erm…friendship? Now lie back down!" Katara put a hand on Lupe's forehead, and a slight push was enough to send the Hispanic girl down. "And I have no intention of becoming romantically involved with him. Honestly, why can't you people just accept that Aang and I are in love? No, don't move, I still need to finish Healing…"

"Can I talk?" Lupe sighed as the cool water began to Heal her once more.

"Well, you're talking already…I'd say it's fine," Katara pointed out. "Ugh, you're one of the worse victims…the minute those fangirls saw Zuko, they started storming the stage. You were one of them, if I recall, so you really should avoid Mai for the semester or so. Hopefully you'll all be wiser on Wednesday. No, I said don't move!"

"Nn…do I get to skip classes for the rest of today?" Lupe knew it was probably foolish to hope, but she was too tired to think at the moment.

"You'll have to attend Spirit World 101 at the end of the day," Katara replied. "I still can't believe how many people try to make their characters spirits. Don't they realize that they're just…oh, what did Karen call it…'godmoding,' I think it was?"

"B-but, it lets you put in tragic romance!" Lupe's eyes widened in shock at a canon character displaying such dislike for such a common theme in Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfiction.

"It gets old," Katara rolled her eyes. "Like all those stories with me and Zuko. I'm not interested in him, and he's not interested in me. Why can't people just accept that we're not attracted to each other and let us be with the people we really do love?"

Lupe's next words were entirely foolish, and should not have been uttered. However, she was in pain, she was tired, and she was a complete fangirl. These factors definitely contributed.

"But you and Zuko are meant to be!"

THWACK!

"Hello, and welcome to Peaceful Air Monks," Gyatso called from the stage. The Air Nomad students had been gathered into the Air Hall, a rather large hall with a yellow and orange color scheme and swirling patters on the walls. Karen was nowhere to be seen, for which the students profusely thanked whatever deities they followed, and the stories of the stampede in Platonic Love earlier were keeping them fast in their seats.

Next to Gyatso stood a very familiar figure to anyone who had seen even one episode of the series-unless that episode was "Zuko Alone." Avatar Aang, the last living Airbender according to the canon, was flicking little tornadoes from his fingers at a random passing butterfly. Momo was perched on his shoulders, peering at the students as if they were a ravenous horde of evildoers. Which, in the eyes of canon characters, they pretty much were.

"Now, in this class, we hope to teach you students about the peaceful way of life we Air Nomads had, and how you can reflect it in your fanfictions," Gyatso smiled serenely at the students. "Today will merely be a very basic introduction to how we Air Nomads lived. Aang, could you please activate the 'projector' that Karen showed us how to use?"

"Huh? Oh—yeah, sure," Aang nodded, turning away from the butterfly to walk over to a very modern image projector pointing at a sheet of white fabric. "Okay. So. Before we start, what do you guys know about Air Nomads?"

"They ride on huge Sky Bison!" Lauphen Staar called out.

"Their Bending defies all scientific logic!" Sofia Jayne Owens added.

"They're really, really flexible!" Andy Roseanne finished.

"That's very good, students," Gyatso smiled indulgently. "But that is only a very cursory glance of our culture. Because we were all dead by the time of the series, much of what is known about us can only be inferred from Aang's behavior and beliefs, flashbacks of his or Roku's, and guesses based on the Earth culture we were based on. What do you students know about the monks in your world's country of Tibet?"

"They're monks!" Lauphen Staar declared. "From Tibet!" There was a rather profound silence in the room as the sheer obviousness of her statement sank into everyone.

"They wear really cool monk robes?" someone from the back of the hall called after a while.

"They took vows of celibacy, since they're monks and all," Sofia Jayne Owens ventured.

"What? Why would anyone take vows of celibacy?" Andy looked at Gyatso and Aang in terror. "Tell me…tell me you two haven't…"

"Hello! Aang has a kid by the second series! What do you think?" the girl next to Andy scowled in disgust.

"I think I'd like to see if some of the femslash stories I've read have any merit to them…" Andy winked at the girl, who immediately clambered over three other students to sit on the floor of the aisle. "Spoilsport."

"Anyways! Moving away from my love life!" Aang began pushing buttons on the projector, finally managing to turn it on. "There we go…all right, so. Air Nomads." A picture of Aang and a group of other young Air Nomad children appeared on the white sheet. At the bottom of the screen, the words "Peaceful Air Nomads" could be seen in bright yellow letters.

"The Air Nomads were primarily situated in four Air Temples, located at different points of the map of our world," Gyatso began. Aang pressed a button on the projector, and an image of the Avatar world map appeared on the screen, with the Air Nomad territories highlighted in bright yellow. "There are three official Air Nomad territories, hosting the Western, Eastern, and Southern Air Temples. Unlike the other Air Temples, the Northern Air Temple is situated in the northern Earth Kingdom, and not in its own separate Air Nomad territory."

"Why?" Someone called.

"The reason is never touched on in the series," Gyatso replied. "There could be any number of reasons. Perhaps it was the first Air Temple, or perhaps it was the last. Maybe there was simply no land available for the Air Nomads to use when the Northern Temple was built. But we will return to the subject of the Temples themselves in a later class. Moving on. Aang?" Aang pushed a button, and an image of the Council from the Southern Air Temple appeared.

"There was no true caste system in Air Nomad society," Gyatso began to pace across the stage as he talked. "Each Temple was governed primarily by a council of the five eldest monks, who handled day-to-day decisions and kept order in their respective Temples. Below them were ordinary monks, and below them, children learning to Airbend. We will further explore the—"

"But what about non-Airbender children?" a student interrupted, sitting at the left side of the hall. "Were they second-class citizens or something?"

"All Air Nomads were Airbenders." Aang walked over to the screen and tapped on the children. "If you were born to an Air Nomad, you were an Airbender. There's a reason for it, but we'll go into it at another time. Should we move on?"

"Yes please," Gyatso requested. Aang pushed a button again, and this time a picture of four Air Nomad monks meditating in a garden appeared. "Now, as monks, we were very spiritual. All Air Nomad children learned to meditate at a young age. Aang is shown meditating several times in the series. There are several requirements to be able to meditate, including a quiet, peaceful environment and the ability to concentrate deeply."

"That throws Lauphen out of the running," a girl sniggered.

"It does!" Lauphen agreed, a proud grin on her face.

"Excuse me!" Aang yelled. "Please pay attention, students! As Gyatso was about to say, we'll be spending half of our classes teaching all of you to meditate. It will help you to focus yourself, concentrate your chi better, and give you peace of mind."

"I'll take a piece of someone!" Andy stood up, a suggestive smile on her face. The lemurs, who had previously been sitting around the hall staring at the students, immediately swarmed the girl. After a moment, several of them began to carry her unconscious body out of the hall and towards the Healers' Wing.

"Thank goodness," Gyatso wiped his brow. "I know we must be tolerant, but that young lady can be very hard to stand. Why she ever decided to be a nun…"

"I don't think the students realize that Air Nomads are all monks and nuns, Gyatso," Aang sighed.

"What? I don't wanna be a nun!" Lauphen screamed. She attempted to run for the door, but the remaining lemurs began to divebomb her, preventing her from leaving. "No! No! I am not a nun! I refuse to be religious! I re—mmphf!" The lemurs dragged a thrashing Lauphen back to her seat, wailing about how she would never submit. It was probably best Andy was gone by that point.

"Well, now that Ms. Staar is being quiet, let's move on," Gyatso suggested as Aang pressed another button. "Next is the subject of our diet—Air Nomads are purely vegetarians, and as such, you will only be served vegetarian diets—"

The screams of agony could be heard in the Healers' Section, where a barely-conscious Andy Roseanne cursed that she was missing out on the fun.

Karen examined the letter she'd just received. It was from Brian and Mike, telling her about the upcoming series. They couldn't put anything the public didn't know in the letter, but seeing as there was no Internet or cable at OFUA:TLA, the woman was learning several new details that were making her shake with excitement. Literally, she was shaking. Passing staff members and guards were somewhat creeped out, but not entirely surprised.

"Hey, Karen!" Aang fell out of the sky to sit next to the girl. "Weren't you gonna go talk to the Water Tribe Warriors and Earth Kingdom Fighters classes?"

"Nah," Karen shook her head, though it was hard to tell if that was because she was saying no or if it was just part of her shaking. "My partner's gonna do that."

The Water Tribe students were sitting in the Water Hall, which was, you guessed it, made entirely of ice. Since the Fire Nation's usual temperatures were on par with those in Mexico or sub-Saharan Africa, and the school was in the middle of a boiling lake, it was melting at an alarming rate.

One of the Water Tribe students, Sunan, was cursing his luck. He'd written "Foggy Swamp Water Tribe" on his application, and now he was not allowed to wear pants with his uniform. He had the shirt, and the boots, the jacket, the armguards, even underwear—but not pants. Now his butt was freezing as he sat on a rapidly-melting chair made of ice, trying not to slip off. Next to him, Vera Moretti, whose insistence on being called V had resulted in her being issued a Guy Fawkes mask, was attempting to use her jacket to keep her behind from getting too wet.

An all-too-familiar figure strode onto the stage. Karen had apparently taken off her trenchcoat, but her brown hair was still up in its ponytail, so the fan-students wouldn't be fooled by her outfit change. Never mind the fact that her facial structure and body build were completely different from before—everyone knew eye and hair color were the only real ways to describe someone.

"Hello, students," Karen called, slipping a bit on the ice. Her foot actually went through a brittle patch, and she spent a moment working it out. "Ow…okay. Hello, students. My name is Anjilly Ka."

This announcement was announced by perplexed silence. The students exchanged dubious glances while the strange girl who apparently wasn't Karen, despite having brown ponytailed hair, smiled nervously at them.

Finally, one brave soul in row three asked, "Where's Karen?"

"Unavailable," Anjilly Ka said, sorting through some index cards. "Why? Would you prefer her?" A thrill of fear swept through the students. "No? Alright then. Hello students," she repeated, now staring at the index cards in her hands. "My name is Anjilly Ka."

"Who?" someone asked.

Anjilly Ka's smile became a little tight. "My name is Anjilly Ka. You can call me Agent Ka, or Miss Ka. I used to be an agent of the PPC-"

"The what?"

Anjilly Ka's knuckles became a little white around the index cards. "The Protectors of the Plot Continuum?" At the students' blank stares, she groaned. "I used to spend my time cleaning up all the messes your badfics made in the canon continuums." She glanced back at her index cards and moved on to the next one in the stack. "But, once I heard OFUA:TLA was opening, I decided it was time for a career change. So." She turned to the next index card, looked up, and gave a bright, strained smile. "Any questions?"

The students, confidence bolstered by the fact that Anjilly Ka was not Karen and showed no signs of hitting them with cookies, exploded.

"Are you as insane as Karen is?"

"Are you as mean as Karen is?"

"I still don't understand what the PPC is, exactly..."

"Do you have any real food?"

"Maybe, not necessarily, I'm not going to honor that with a response, and Asian food is perfectly real. Anyone else? No? Good." Anjilly took a deep breath and looked back at her index cards. Clearing her throat, she said, "Welcome to Water Tribe Warriors, where you will learn about Water Tribe culture and traditions. As honorary members of the Water Tribe, this class"-she switched to the next card-"will be instrumental in helping you to understand and appreciate the-yes?"

"Does Sokka teach this?"

"Er-"

"Does Yue teach this?"

"Well-"

"Screw them," one girl said. "What about Hakoda? Now there's a DILF-"

"Ew!" someone said.

"-understand and appreciate the intricate civilization you write about," Anjilly soldiered on, staring steadfastly at her index cards. "This understanding will lead to better fanfiction, because knowledge is power, and-"

"Are you just going to stand up there and drone on the whole time?"

Anjilly Ka suddenly tore up her index cards, threw the shreds of paper into the air, and glared at the assembled students. "Yadda yadda yadda, important introduction that'll let you know what you're getting into, but hey, learning through pain is an OFU tradition anyway, so whatever, blah blah blah."

Sunan perked up in sudden dread. "Wait...what was that last one?"

"Blah blah blah," Anjilly answered, looking offstage. "You three can come up now."

"No, I meant the one about learning through-"

"Allow me to introduce you to your instructors," Anjilly said. "Opening today's lesson, we have Master Pakku, who will give us a brief overview of the Northern Water Tribe, Huu, who will do the same for the Foggy Swamp Tribe, and Hama, representing the Southern Water Tribe." Waving her hand at the three old people on the stage, she added, "Enjoy your class. I'm off." She stomped off the stage, leaving the students to stare at their instructors.

"Hello, students," Hama said with a chilling smile. "I feel we are all going to get along swimmingly."

The Earth Kingdom students were, at this time, sitting across the way in the Earth Hall, which was made of stone and had a dirt floor. It appeared that someone very evil indeed (the students suspected Karen) had littered the floor with various types of hybrid bugs. Several pillars lined the sides of the room, and one had a gigantic night crawler wrapped around it. Said night crawler was hissing ominously, and had a very large clear space around it. There were no seats, so everyone was sitting on the floor and trying not to get too dirty.

Up on stage, the Earth King and Bosco were standing next to Haru and Toph. The few Toph fanboys in the crowd were tittering in a small group near the stage. In the approximate middle of the hall, a student named Zerkz was sitting on his jacket, shuddering whenever a creepy-crawly attempted to climb up his feet. He was thoroughly annoyed that there was no Suki for this class, and somewhat angered by the fact that he kept overhearing girls complaining about how Suki was a "Mary-Sue." Suki was not a Mary-Sue. She was just perfect…

The three teachers—four if one counted Bosco—on the stage looked up eagerly as a door behind them opened, and Karen walked up to them. Or at least—she had brown hair in a ponytail like Karen's. Zerkz was too far away to see her eyes, but he assumed they were brown like Karen's. This woman wasn't wearing Karen's clothing, but it wasn't a stretch to think of reasons for changing. Like, needing to wash the blood off.

"All right, listen up, students," Karen snapped. "My name is Anjilly Ka, but you can call me Agent Ka or Miss Ka. I was an Agent of the PPC—Protectors of the Plot Continuum, remember it well—and I'm Karen's partner in running the day-to-day affairs of OFUA:TLA. Yadda yadda yadda, important introduction stuff, GOOD-BYE!" With that, Anjilly Ka-apparently-not-Karen stormed off the stage.

"Ah…right," the Earth King jumped a little as the unseen door behind him slammed. "Well, uh…let's start the lesson, shall we?"

Karen looked up from sharpening a snickerdoodle when someone collapsed into the chair beside her. "Oh, hey. How'd it go?"

Anjilly opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again, and finally settling for sighing and burying her face in her hands. "I left my nice, uncomfortable Response Center for this?"

"Yes. Yes you did."

"I can't even make a charge list and kill them, can I?"

"Of course not!" Karen laughed. "They aren't Sues and Stus! They're the actual writers!"

"Mmph," Anjilly moaned. "I suppose I'll just have to make do with making their lives a living hell, then."

"Well, of course!" Karen beamed, setting aside the snickerdoodle and picking up an oatmeal raisin. "That's our job!"