A/N: *grumble* Chemistry sucks. Thank you for the reviews, keep 'em coming :D.
Nightmares
Waking up in the middle of the night only to find the bed empty, Jess grumbled, glancing at the clock on the nightstand, seeing it was well after midnight. Not being able to see any light creeping from under the bathroom door, he got out of bed, picking up a t-shirt before walking out. Spotting the open door to the nursery, he walked in, crouching in front of Rory, who was reading in the rocking chair.
"Why you awake?" He closed his eyes, putting both his hands on her knees.
"Bad dream." Rory shrugged, running her fingers slowly through his hair. "Nothing for you to worry about."
"Why didn't you wake me?"
"To do what?" She smiled down at him. "I'm a big girl, I can deal with bad dreams by myself."
"So you can worry about me but I'm not allowed to?"
"Yes, that's exactly how it works."
"Anything I can do to help now that I'm awake? Coffee? Food? Hugs?" Jess offered, smirking before placing a small kiss on her knee. "Go on, you get my services free."
"Coffee sounds good."
Standing up, Jess took her hands, helping her up before starting to head down the stairs.
"Want to tell me what your dream was about?" He asked as soon as they were in the kitchen, turning the coffee machine on.
"Nothing. Just...random nightmare." She shrugged, wrapping her arms around him and he pressed a kiss to her temple.
"I'm sorry." He rubbed her back slowly. "Wake me up next time, I'll keep you company."
"You looked tired."
"It's usually associated with being asleep."
"So? Was I supposed to wake you up, even though you have work tomorrow, just so you could comfort me?"
"Yes." He smiled, tightening his grip on her.
"I'm fine, Jess. Baby was keeping me company."
"Don't be stubborn."
"Fine, I'll wake you up next time, ok?" She conceded, laughing slightly.
"That's all I'm asking." Letting go of her after placing one more kiss on her temple, he poured coffee in a cup, handing it to her. "We should get some tea or something for times like these."
"Like we'd ever drink tea. There's no caffeine in this, it's just as good."
"Ok, but you're going back to bed after that cup."
"And if I don't?"
"I'll carry you." He shrugged, smirking.
"I'm too fat."
"I'll get a wheelbarrow and improvise."
"Where are you finding a wheelbarrow at this time of the night?" Rory smiled, running her fingers through his hair.
"My serial killer kit, of course."
"Now you're a serial killer?"
"Just rising to principal whatever his name was and Taylor's expectations."
"No, I think they pegged you for destruction of property, arson and theft. Maybe drugs."
"Going above and beyond. It's my motto." He chuckled, leaning over and kissing her cheek. "Feeling better?"
"Yes." She whispered, nodding. "Thank..."
"Don't. I want to be here for you." He cut her off, his hand rubbing her leg. "Want to go back to bed?"
"Can I bring my coffee?"
"Will you stay awake for the next half hour, reading while you finish it instead of sleeping, even though you have to get up for work in a few hours?"
"Maybe." She smiled. "But I don't want to leave it here..." She pouted and Jess stood up, caressing her cheek with his fingers.
"I'll wake up and make you coffee again tomorrow morning."
"Bribe me with breakfast and we have a deal. Something more than cereal."
"Fine, breakfast as well. Whatever you want."
Standing up, she wrapped her arm around his waist before placing a quick kiss on his cheek. "You're easy."
"That's the word on the street."
Dialling her mother's number the next morning, Rory waited for her to pick up, leafing through the stacks of papers on her desk.
"Good morning, daughter."
"You're chipper."
"I'm always chipper, it's part of my charm. What's up?"
"I need to talk to you."
"Something wrong?" Lorelai asked, slightly concerned.
"I just...had a really horrible dream last night and I need you to knock some sense into me." Taking a deep breath, she sipped from her coffee cup. "I dreamed Jess left me and the baby. There's more to it than that, but that's the gist. Yes, I know he's not leaving and it was just a stupid dream but..."
"Aw, kid, everyone has those dreams."
"You sure?" She hesitated, biting her lip.
"Yes. I had them, Sookie had them, ask Lane, I'm sure she did as well. Rory, Jess loves you. He's not going to take off."
"I know. I know Jess isn't leaving and I know he wants this kid as much as I do." Rory smiled, glancing at her wedding ring. "But I'm stupid and irrational and hormonal and terrified and you have to tell me I'm all those things and to stop thinking about it."
"It is stupid and irrational. And especially hormonal. And, annoying as this may be, perfectly normal. Remember when you were really, really small and you had nightmares for three days straight about going to school and your teacher being mean to you?"
"Uh...no." Rory shrugged, shaking her head.
"Well, ok, I do. Take my word on this. You had been babbling on and on about finally going to big school all summer and then, a week before, this started."
"I assume this story is going somewhere."
"Yes, it is." Lorelai chuckled, shaking her head. "The point I was trying to make is that things are scary. Having a baby is about twenty million three hundred and four times scarier than school."
"Exact number?"
"Yes." She grinned, noticing her daughter getting more relaxed. "And Jess not being there, like your teacher being mean, would make a scary thing way, way worse. But she wasn't and he is not leaving and everything will be just fine, ok?"
"Promise?"
"Yes. Promise." She nodded, trying to be as reassuring as possible. "Go home tonight, watch a movie to distract you and let Jess tell you all those things again, although I'm sure he already did it a million times."
Pausing for a few seconds, Rory bit her lip again. "I didn't tell him."
"What? Why not?"
"You honestly think that's a can of worms I should open two days after Jimmy's visit?"
"I think he should know about this. Imagine how you'd feel if he didn't tell you about something that was worrying him."
"But..."
"You can do whatever you want, but he's a grown up. You don't honestly believe he'll get annoyed with something you have no control over, like your dreams, do you?"
"No." She exhaled, biting her lip. "I'll think about it. Mom, I need to get back to work, thanks for the talk."
"Kid, tell Jess."
"Bye."
Walking into the living room on Sunday morning, a cup of coffee in her hand, she sat down on the couch next to Jess. Putting his book down, he leaned over, kissing her cheek.
"Finally awake?"
"What time is it?"
"Eleven."
"Sorry. I didn't get much sleep last night." She closed her eyes briefly, yawning.
"Another nightmare?"
"Yes." Rory confirmed. "I'm sorry I didn't wake you, it just felt stupid doing it."
"This is what, the third night in a row?"
"Yeah."
"At least tell me what it's all about."
"Doesn't matter." She grumbled, standing up and walking to the door to the backyard, looking outside. "Looks like a nice day, I may take my book out there to read."
Walking to her, he placed a small kiss on her neck, wrapping one arm around her from behind. "Hey, talk to me."
"Drop it." Turning around, she shook her head, kissing his cheek. "Sorry, I'm cranky."
"Ok. Anything I can do?"
"No." Picking up her coffee and a book from the coffee table, she looked at the door. "I'll be outside."
Walking in the backyard a couple of hours later, Jess sat down on the couch next to his wife, running his hand over her leg.
"Have you frozen yet?"
"Just about." She wrapped herself tighter in the blanket. "I went inside and picked this up a while ago."
"Didn't see you."
"Went through the office."
"Ror, are you mad at me?"
"No. Just tired." She shook her head, trying to smile.
"I was going to warm up leftovers, do you feel like lunch?"
"Sure. Let me finish my paragraph and I'll come inside."
"Ok. I'll make some more coffee as well."
"Thank you."
A few minutes later, she walked in the kitchen, refilling her coffee cup before walking to Jess, kissing him quickly.
"How's the food going?"
"Getting there. You sure everything's fine?"
"I'm just tired and annoyed and wishing my brain would work better." She snickered, shaking her head. "Nothing I can't handle."
"I know, just wondering if there's anything I can do."
"No." She shook her head, shrugging. "I'm sorry, it's ridiculous, I don't know why it's bugging me so much. I keep dreaming you leave me and the baby. And again, I know it's stupid and all that, but I just...didn't want to tell you and risk hurting you or making you believe I don't trust you, because I do. I swear I do. It's just my brain working in moronic ways and I don't know it does it, but I'm sorry, ok? I really, really am."
"You're apologizing because you had a weird dream?" He smirked, extending his arm and brushing his knuckles across her cheek.
"Dreams. Three nights."
"Uh-huh. And?"
"And...you're ok?"
"Sure. It was a dream." He chuckled, walking to her and kissing her quickly before heading to the microwave, opening the door and taking out one of the plates, dropping it on the table. "It's not like you can control it."
"You're not..."
"I'm not anything. Should I think anything more of it?"
"No. Definitely not."
"So what's the big deal? Other than, you know, you thinking that I was going to make a scene because of this."
"I...uh...don't know. It makes no sense if you put it like that." She snickered, suddenly relaxed. "Should have listened to mom."
"You told Lorelai about this?" He mumbled this time, his voice colder.
"I had to talk to someone."
Picking up the other plate and shoving it in the microwave, he closed the door a bit more forcefully than necessary. "Huh."
"Jess, I didn't mean anything by it. I was just tired and didn't want to hurt you, so I talked to her instead. She's mom, you know I talk to her about everything."
"Yeah. I'm more concerned with you telling her before you told me. Or that, you know, you apparently had no intention of telling me about it."
"I'm sorry, ok?" Walking to him, she put her hand on his arm, trying to calm him down. "I am. I handled it badly."
"Very badly." Jess snapped, turning around to look at her. "We're married now. I don't know how this works in your head, but I think I have a right to know things that concern me before your mother. Or at all, for that matter."
"Jess, I tell mom everything. You know that. It's always been like that."
"I don't care what you tell her, as long as I get to know them as well, preferably before she does. And hey, I haven't seen you hurrying yet to tell her she's only getting a grandkid because we got too drunk to remember to use anything, so don't give me that."
"Fine. I don't talk to her about our sex life. Here, happy?"
"Yeah, ecstatic. Point is, I don't give a damn what she knows or doesn't know." He tried to argue again, getting increasingly frustrated. "But I'm sure being married to you gives me the right to know some of those things as well."
"Oh, please, you only married me because of the baby." As soon as the words flew out of her mouth, she looked at him, seeing the hurt look on his face, she bit her lip, trying to find the right words.
"If that's what you think, suit yourself." He shook his head, walking past her and out the front door, slamming it behind him.
Much later that night, Jess walked back in the house. Jumping up from the couch, Rory hurried to him, not wanting to give him a chance to get to a different room.
"I am so, so sorry." She whispered, her hand resting on his arm and he took a deep breath, looking at her.
"You're going to have to do better than that."
"I know." She admitted, nodding. "What I said...it was horrible and I know it's not true. At all."
"Ror, there's got to be a reason for you to have said it." He sighed, running a hand through his hair.
"Because I'm a terrible person."
Tilting his head towards the couch, he waited for her to sit down again before following.
"I mean it, Jess, there is no other reason." She continued, not letting him say anything. "I'm tired, which I know is not an excuse for anything, but here it is and worried and stressed and I'm just...I snapped. It was a cheap shot and I took it and I really have no excuse for it. Well, actually, no, in a list of cheap, horrible shots, this wouldn't even qualify because it was so bad."
"Stop apologizing for a minute." He shook his head, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I just...need you to know you are the only woman I have ever wanted to spend my life with. And that I would have married you no matter what."
"I know."
"Promise."
"I swear. I love you, so much, and I...failed. I suppose there isn't any other way to put it." Feeling her eyes well up again, she took a deep breath, trying to control her tears. "I'm sorry."
"I got that." Giving in, he put his arm around her, waiting for her to hug him before kissing the top of her head.
"I can't stand knowing that I hurt you. I didn't tell you because I was trying to avoid it and then I opened my mouth and I don't know what the hell was wrong with me."
"You're human."
"I'll try to work on that." She smiled, lifting her head and kissing him softly. "This isn't going to be one of those fights that blows over quickly, is it?"
"I don't think so."
"But we'll be ok?"
"Yeah. We will be."
"And Jess, I wasn't trying to keep it from you. Just..."
"I know." He nodded, placing one more kiss on her forehead before standing up. "Did you have dinner yet?"
"No."
"Go on, I'll find us something."
Standing up as well, she hugged him as tightly as she could, burying her face in the crook of his neck. "I love you."
"I know."
"Let's go find food, Han Solo."
Shooting up in bed, much later that night, Rory buried her face in her hands. Throwing his book to the side, he placed his hand on the small of her back, sighing.
"Again?"
She nodded, confirming, still trying to catch her breath. Moving closer to her, he put his arm around her, one hand smoothing her hair down.
"It's ok, Ror. I'm here."
Clinging to him, she bit her lip as he kept playing with her hair, placing kisses on her temple from time to time. When she was finally calm again, she pulled back, trying to smile.
"Thank you." Rubbing her bump, she looked down at it. "Calm down, baby, we're ok."
"What's she doing?"
"Kicking like a maniac."
Lowering his hand, keeping the other one in her hair, he started running his fingers across her stomach in small circles.
"You're already giving us too much trouble, keep it up and I'm sending you to military school the second you're born."
"I don't think they take babies." Rory giggled, more relaxed.
"Damn. Plan foiled. Church steps?"
"Sounds good to me." She kissed him quickly, lying back on the bed. Propping himself up with one arm, he kept his hand on her stomach, feeling the soft kicks.
"Call your doctor tomorrow, ok? She might be able to help."
"I will." Nodding, she glanced at the clock on the nightstand. "What were you doing up?"
"Didn't want you to have to wake me up. You didn't do it for the past three nights, I figured that wasn't going to change tonight if I wasn't awake." He shrugged, leaning down and kissing her bump. "Really kid, the national soccer team tryouts aren't for a while yet, calm down and let your mom sleep."
"Wait, so you were only awake just in case I woke up?"
"Well, you did, so it's not like it was completely in vain."
"Still? Even after today?"
"Remember our first real fight?" He whispered in her ear, placing a small kiss below it. "I took a couple of cheap shots in that one. We got over it."
"Oh, yeah, I remember." She laughed.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Smirking, Jess traced kisses across her jaw.
"Just...we've been through a lot, haven't we?"
"Yes, we have." He chuckled, moving his body closer to hers. "I don't think it matters anymore. Are we even? Overall?"
"I think the balance is in your favor, so, since it suits me, I'll say yes." She grinned, making him laugh again.
"And on that note, back to sleep."
"You too." She stuck out her tongue, leaning over and picking up his book, placing it on her nightstand before turning off the light. Wrapping his arm around her, Jess placed a kiss on her shoulder.
"I didn't mean to snap at you for talking..."
"I know." She cut him off. "We're done with that fight, it doesn't matter anymore."
"Fine. Sleep well."
"I love you."
"Love you too."