Oh look, a chapter. Props to my students, my beta, and my readers for all the contributions they've given, and a little disclaimer: I don't own A:TLA.
Well, now that's taken care of, I'll give you guys another warning: you're not being taken seriously. You may be a rational, intelligent, thoughtful person...but that doesn't mean your student character is. Also, it seems I'm reopening admission, since I have less students than I thought I did.
That said, it's time for a new (and hopefully informative) chapter of OFUA:TLA!
It was a few weeks before anything terribly important happened at OFUA:TLA. After the first week, the students began to adjust to their schedules (not that they learned how to read them, but they had a fair idea of where they had to be when). As will inevitably happen when a large number of adolescents are forcibly gathered together, cliques and clubs formed. They ranged from the shipping clubs of the Kataangers and Zutarans (and the less-populated but still memorable Tokkans, Zokkans, Jetarans, and a handful of Maikonites) to the more dedicated fan organizations of the Calligraphy Club (headed by Sofia Jayne Owens) and the Asian Lovers' Research Society (headed by a Water Tribe student named Sunan). There were also, of course, those unofficial groups that were just categories for students with a particular Lust Object - the Zukomancers, the Aanglers, and the Boomerang Babes being the largest, of course. Sokka declared the Bendless Boomerangers Club open to the students, and experienced an influx of Boomerang Babes trying to get in despite having registered as Benders. The student Fire Lord Huanzhe had started a group called The Fire Nation Is The Greatest Civilization In The World And The Only Reason Anyone Says Otherwise Is Because They're Too Primitive To Know Better, and despite the fact that Huanzhe seemed determined to eat all its members, the club was already full of students who fancied themselves as "evil" and Ozai, Sozin, and Zhao fangirls. Most students spent their time hanging out with others from their Nation group, although some friendships—like that of Lauphen, Meep, [-], and Lupe—simply would not heed the boundaries.
It was on the third weekend of the first semester, beginning around ten o'clock am in the morning on Saturday, when the first really significant event at OFUA:TLA took place.
Lupe was running down a hallway, trying to remember how to get outside. Karen had announced the previous day that there would be a seminar—the first of many—held in the training grounds that morning. Since weekends were free of training, most students used them to catch up on the sleep they missed during the week proper. Assignments were common, and the Spirit Library tended to be packed on Saturday and Sunday afternoons, much to the chagrin of Wan Shi Tong. Due to Lupe's own personal laziness, she slept in more than most. It was because of this that she was lost in the hallways of OFUA:TLA, trying to find her way outside and failing miserably. Karen would be pleased to know that the floor designs she'd made were nigh impossible to figure out.
Back to Lupe. She rounded a corner, hit a wall, staggered back, and felt something…swirly behind her. When she turned to look, there was only empty space—and a swirling sensation, hanging in the middle of the hallway, suspended and supported by absolutely nothing. Being late already, Lupe didn't want to delay herself by trying to figure out what it was. So, of course, the convenient thing happened, and the plothole (for that's what it was) spewed out an explanation.
Marshall Arts had been trapped in the plothole for about a day. He'd wandered into it unknowingly while trying to find his way to the Staff's cafeteria, and (most inconveniently) been unable to remember how Karen got out of the darn things. When Lupe walked along and needed a convenient answer (that would also inconveniently delay her), well, the plothole did what plotholes do: It gave her what she wanted without any good explanation other than that she wanted it.
There was a rather awkward moment as both tried to process what had just happened. Lupe was fairly sure someone was sitting on her, and didn't know how she should react. Marshall knew his landing wasn't as hard as it should have been, but he couldn't figure out why until he looked down and realized he was sitting on a female student.
"Um…hey…" He blinked, his brain still not fully comprehending the situation. "Are you…all right…?"
"Yeah…" Lupe, similarly disadvantaged, nodded. "I think…who are you?"
"Marshall Arts," Marshall replied. "You know, tie-dyed gi, random plotholes…I thought everybody knew me by now."
"No…" Lupe's brain started to work, and she noticed that it was a little hard to breathe. "Could you get off?"
"Huh?" Marshall remembered exactly what he was sitting on—her—and quickly scrambled off. "Oh! So sorry! Let me help you up!" He got to his knees and pulled Lupe up to a sitting position, then clambered to his feet and helped her stand. "Again, I'm very sorry. The plothole just…spat me out. I've been wandering into them ever since arriving. Did you hurt anything?"
"Huh? Uh, nope," Lupe looked down to examine herself. A bit dirty from the floor, but nothing too bad. At least she hadn't been running—crap. "Crap."
"What is it?" Marshall, still worried about having hurt Lupe, began to panic.
"I'm gonna be late for that seminar thing Karen's giving…whatever it was about," Lupe moaned. "It's probably started by now…"
"You have to get somewhere fast?" Marshall's brain began to work. A plan formed… "Ever wanted to try travelling by plothole?"
"Ah, Victim—I mean, Lupe," Karen corrected herself quickly. "Nice to see you join us. You do realize you are horribly, inexcusably late?"
"What?" Lupe yelped. "I'm here on time!"
"Not so!" Karen declared. "The seminar began at ten o'clock sharp!"
"It is ten o'clock!" Lupe protested.
"No! It's ten o'clock and three seconds!" Karen announced. The Course Coordinator was standing on a wooden stage that had been mysteriously constructed at some point during the night, in front of a bunch of folding chairs. A white sheet had been hung from a wire strung across the back of the stage, and was rippling gently in a slight breeze. "Anj's been telling me to be more 'punctual,' or whatever, so I'm cracking down on tardiness amongst the students to help turn her attention away from my general lateness to everything! Detention!" A cluster of Water Tribe students, including Danish, Ashee, Carsten, Moon Dragon, Vera, and Allison started to giggle while Emma and Jessica Carden (both Fire Nation students) discreetly stuck their tongues out at Karen. "And I have full use of my ears and eyes, and can see and hear you lot. With my eyes and ears. My eyes are doing the seeing and my ears are doing the hearing, of course, because it'd be freaky if I started seeing with my ears and hearing with my eyes…crap, now I wanna know what that would be like…uh, back on track now." She cleared her throat. "This is Semantics and Language in the World of Avatar, a seminar and slideshow presentation concerning the vernacular of the Avatar: The Last Airbender universe."
"What does 'vernacular' mean?" Izar Laun called out.
"Vernacular," Karen sighed, "is a term used to describe the native tongue of a country, and may include slang terms, idioms, phrases that would not make sense to a non-native speaker…the like. Basically, it's contemporary language."
"What does 'contemporary' mean?" Nathaniel Willowshaunt, sitting next to Izar shouted, a wicked grin on his face. Karen gave him a withering look, but since some other students were looking clueless, she explained.
"Contemporary means current," she informed the students. "Theodore James White, I see you next to those two, and if you even try asking what 'current' means I will bombard you with cookies and throw you to the lemurs. No joke." Theodore, who had in the past few weeks become friends with Izar and Nathaniel, slumped dejectedly in his seat. Their plan had been to ask Karen stupid questions to waste time, and hopefully reclaim part of their fun Saturday. Said plan had just failed.
"You haven't missed anything," [-] whispered as Lupe slid into a seat near the back. Meep was sitting on his far side, and Lauphen was sitting two seats down. "She just juggled some cookies and rambled about how she'd like to die by chocolate one day. It was sorta funny, once you got past the morbid dying bit."
Onstage, Karen had produced a clicker-thing (Lupe really needed to figure out what those were called) and was brandishing it like it was a knife. For all Lupe knew, it was one: This was Karen, the woman who could kill with a cookie. It wasn't a bright idea to underestimate her. But no, wait, hadn't all the knives Karen handled vanished?
"The awesomely epic (in a good way) slideshow will now begin!" Karen cried. She may have been trying to use an "epic" voice, but she squeaked on the "good" and pronouncing parenthesis was, while impressive, not the most "epic" thing to do. After a few coughs to make sure her voice would still work, Karen used the clicker to turn on a projector that was on a small table near the front of the audience. Daniel Clemens reached forward and tried to make hand puppets, but Karen's dangerous stroking of a cookie made him stop.
The first slide showed a Chinese character and a book. Below them were the words 'Language and Semantics—how people talk.' Karen cleared her throat one last time, and started to walk across the stage.
"Many of your fanfictions have included preposterous language—and I'm not talking about swearing, dirty words, that sort of thing, though it will be covered today," the woman began. "I'm talking about references to things in pop culture, or the use of slang—let's go with British for our example—when your character is from the Fire Nation."
"What's so bad about that?" William GP called.
"What's so bad about it?" Karen snorted. "For starters, the Avatar universe is based entirely on Asian culture. While there is one—and just one, so far as I know—instance of the cartoon having a black person onscreen, there isn't any African culture. Flame, there isn't an African continent. Likewise, there are no European or contemporary North American cultures."
"How do you know?" Isabella Rose stood up in the front row. Scarlet Johnson, sitting next to her, did likewise after a short and slightly awkward pause where Isabella looked at her expectantly and Scarlet stared blankly at the stage.
"I know because the Creators, Mike and Bryan, said so themselves during an interview," Karen replied. She clicked the clicker, and a new slide came up—the Avatar world map. "This is the entirety of their world's map. Do you see an Africa? Or the Americas? Or a Europe? And no, that protrude-y bit in the northwestern corner of the Earth Kingdom isn't a Europe. You can tell because there are no British Isles."
"Isn't the Fire Nation like America?" Midori BM pointed to the map.
"No, it is not," Karen pressed another button and activated the clicker's laser-pointer function. A red dot began to circle the Fire Nation on the map. "The Fire Nation is a series of volcanic islands—what would be called an 'archipelago' in geographic terms—that were modeled on the landscape in Iceland. It is likely that the Sun Warrior culture, which inhabited the islands before the Fire Nation proper started up, had some Mesoamerican-like traits, because its architecture was…" She trailed off, seeing the vacant expressions on most faces. "Maybe later in the year. Moving on!"
"What's 'Mesoamerica' mean?" Nicole Jackson whispered from two rows in front of Lupe. Elise and Amy, sitting on either side of her, shrugged.
"So, I would like to turn your attention to a question: What would people in the Avatar world say?" Karen continued as if her audience wasn't whispering amongst themselves. "Let's take a look at what they've said in the series itself."
A large gust of wind puffed the screen behind Karen, and for a second Lupe could have sworn she saw Aang in a watchtower behind and above it. Silvery sand blew onstage, swirling into the vague shape of a woman in a qipao.
Karen, you forgot to introduce the new characters.
"Did not! I'm gonna do that when we're done!" Karen protested. "Half of the students are gonna be in denial or ravenous dogs, and the rest will be smug little things for weeks! Tell Tenzin I'll introduce everyone in a little bit, and that they should stay out of sight. And make sure Meelo behaves. I don't want him ruining things by charging onstage in the middle of my lecture."
I'll tell them, but if Meelo gets bored it's on your head. That kid is a menace.
The Silver Sandwitch, who had gone mostly forgotten by the students after Toph insisted all the sand she trailed with her was making it hard to "see" properly, blew offstage. Lupe was now positive Aang was doing something to move her around.
"Well, returning to our previously-scheduled lecture," Karen returned her attention to the audience, "slang terms that have been spoken in the series itself." Another click, another slide. This one had a few phrases written in English, which Karen quickly began to read. "'We're going to get along swimmingly,' 'bleeding hog monkeys' 'flameo,' 'hotman,' and the like. The first one was said by a Water Tribe woman; the last two are Fire Nation terms, although it has been stated that they are somewhat out-of-date; and the second was from a pirate of indeterminable-but-possibly-Earth Kingdom nationality. So what can we infer from these examples? Anyone?"
There was dead silence for a minute before someone raised their hand. Karen pointed to them and nodded. "The Water Tribes have water-related slang terms?" Owlson Pierce ventured.
"Ding ding ding, correct!" Karen applauded. "Yes, the Water Tribe does indeed have water-related slang. Can anyone tell me what we can infer about Fire Nation slang? Come on, do I have to call on you?"
"It's…based on fire stuff?" Somariel spoke up hesitantly.
"Another correct answer!" Karen clapped her hands enthusiastically. "So the Water Tribes use water-related slang, and the Fire Nation uses fire-related slang. First person to correctly tell me what that must mean about the Air Nomads' and Earth Kingdom's slang gets to skip Bending and Weapons Practice on Monday."
There was an immediate uproar. Sleeping in on Monday? Who didn't want that? Karen listened for a few minutes, smiling sweetly (not a good sign), before holding up a hand for silence.
"None of you got it right, so I'm going to explain," she said cheerfully. Lupe groaned—she was so sure she'd gotten it right! Because the Earth Kingdom totally used Spanish slang! Didn't they?
Karen pulled out a cookie and tossed it into the air. She caught it neatly on its way down, and broke it in two. "Earth Kingdom slang is, admittedly, tricky. I did hear several 'it's rock based'-s from you guys, but I'm afraid that's not the whole picture. Kudos to those of you who thought of it, at least." Ishi Bananas and Cyrus Windfall, in the front, patted each other on the back. "So if it's not just rock-based, what is it? Well…" Another slide came up, showing a picture of a rock, a sandbox, and a metal wall.
"An easily-forgotten aspect of Earthbending is Sandbending," Karen extended the hand holding the clicker/laser pointer, centering a red dot on the sandbox. "What's sand like? Fun to play in, but murder if a little bit gets in your shoes. Maybe if something goes wrong, nothing major but enough to irritate someone, an Earth Kingdom citizen might say it's 'sandy.' And what about metal?" The dot moved to circle the picture of a metal wall. "Until Toph discovered Metalbending, metal was the only way to imprison an Earthbender securely. Couldn't you picture an angry Earthbending cursing a 'metaling' turn of luck?"
The slide changed again, this time with a picture of a large black-and-white animal on it. "These are the Badgermoles, the animals from which Earthbending was first learned. They are held in high regard by many in the Earth Kingdom." Another click, another slide change. "And yes," Karen nodded as she circled the boulder onscreen with her laser pointer, "there are a plethora of rock slang terms."
"What about Air Nomads?" Ari Mason shouted.
"I'm getting there," Karen sighed. She took one of the cookie halves in her hand and held it up. A Misspelling Lemur—Suko, going by the scar and fans—dove down from the sky to snatch it up. "Air Nomads are mostly wiped out by the time of the series, with Aang as the sole survivor. There are definitely slang terms they had that he doesn't use. Furthermore, they're Air Nomads—they travel. When you travel, you pick up terms from others around you. I sure wouldn't be surprised if a Firebender living in the Northern Water Tribe, for whatever plausible reason you care to give, started using Water Tribe slang. So while it's likely that there were some good Air Nomad slang terms, it's also likely that they used slang from all over as well. Furthermore—Fyre Elaine, what the flame is chewing on your leg?"
"It's just Lily," Fyre Elaine giggled. "She's my kitty."
"Uh…that looks more like a demonspawn of Hell than a feline," Karen eyed the "cat" suspiciously. A chocolate chip shuriken made its way to her hand. "Please tell me it only tries to drink your blood."
"She's just being friendly," Fyre Elaine insisted. The "cat," Lily, turned one crazed eye to glare at the person sitting closest to Fyre Elaine—namely, Daniel Clemens. He slowly eased away, shuddering.
"Um, yeah, you need help," Karen decided. "I'm sending you to the school therapist after this. Something tells me you need it if you think that…'cat'…is being friendly. Would someone make it stop gnawing on her already? Agni, girl, do you even feel pain?"
"Not anymore," Fyre Elaine laughed. Several lemurs swooped in, gently manhandling Lily off of her master and flying the "cat" to another side of the courtyard.
"All right, back to the lecture," Karen snapped her head around to look at the screen. "Ow! My neck!"
"Maybe she'll let us leave soon," [-] whispered to Meep. Meep's response was to lean over until she was practically resting her head on [-]'s shoulder, and mutter something about eagles being in nests. She didn't bother to right herself, and continued to sit diagonally while staring at the stage with her eyes opened as far as they could go. It was just a little creepy, but her friends had learned by then that her sanity came and went at the strangest times.
"All right…so, to continue, we'll look at making your own slang," Karen grimaced and rubbed her neck. "Great, I knew I was sleeping weird last night…uh, slang. Oh, wait, I almost forgot." She pulled out a scroll, unrolled it, and squinted at it. "Anj's kinda busy keeping Zhao from setting everything on fire - honestly, you show that man one sappy slash fic with him and Zuko... Anyway, she wanted me to add this in for her, so without further ado..." Karen cleared her throat. "Another thing with the vernacular of Avatar: The Last Airbender is that you have to keep in mind that certain things from our language won't work in this world. For instance, acronyms. The letters in an acronym stand for the words of the phrase they represent. Like the YMCA is the Young Man's Christian Association. But in the Avatarverse, there are no letters. Everything is written in hanzi - that is, Chinese characters. So acronyms aren't a possibility in the Avatarverse."
"...Why do you need to tell us this?" someone asked.
"Hey, I'm not telling you this; Anj is! Through me. Which isn't to say she's possessing me, that'd be awful - she'd probably make me be responsible or something." Karen shuddered. "But anyway, she's, like, a linguistics-loving Grammar Nazi, not to mention she's been through about a bazillion badly-written badfics, so language is very important to her and she wants to make sure people get it right." Looking back at the paper, she went on, "Anj also has this whole spiel about when our slang is okay to use in the Avatarverse...basically she says that characters have used the word 'okay' throughout the series, and 'okay' is an English slang term that probably came from an acronym - though it could've been from a Native American language..." Karen paused, then suddenly dropped the bottom half of the scroll she was holding.
The paper rolled across the stage, dropped down to the floor, and went bouncing all the way up the aisle to the back of the audience, unraveling as it went. Lupe leaned over to get a better look, and found that the paper was covered in English - English! - words written in a cramped, somewhat sloppy hand. Interested, she started reading.
Or it could have been an abbreviation of "oll korrect," which came about in 1839 when misspellings in advertising were considered a fad. It could also be the initials of a name - likely candidates include Orrin Kendall, a biscuit supplier during the American Civil, and Onslow and Kilbracken, the Lord Chairman of Committees of the House of Lords and his counsel. Or it could've been from the Old English "hogfor," meaning "seaworthy," which could have been shortened to HG and then pronounced "hah gay" by Norwegian and Danish sailors...
"...These are all Anj's notes on the etymology of 'okay'," Karen said, staring at the extremely long strip of paper. "And she says that if it's being used in canon, then it should be okay to use in fanfiction. Annnnnd...well, there's all this stuff about how English probably isn't even the Avatarverse's language and we should all probably just pretend that it was translated from a Chinese-like language or something, which would make the vernacular issue a moot point, and honestly I'm under the impression that 'okay' originated from some Greek terms, but then I don't really know if my source is credible, mostly because I have no idea where I heard it…" Karen stared at the paper some more. After a moment, she tossed the scroll away. "Well, the point is: Don't use acronyms, because it's impossible. And sometimes it's okay to use our slang. But don't go crazy, okay? Okay. Now. Let's think up some slang terms for the various Nations. Since the Fire Nation is clearly the most popular, we'll start there. Ideas?"
"Pony win!" A Water Tribe boy stood up proudly, displaying the fact that he had no pants. "Totally pony win!" Lupe looked away blushed. She'd met another Water Tribe student who had no pants as well, by the name of Sunan-whoever this other student was had probably made himself a Foggy Swamp Water Tribe member too.
"Uh, no," Karen shook her head. "Look, um…señor dangao pickle, please sit down. Okay, can anyone venture a guess as to why that wouldn't work?"
"It's really random?" Lana Kirk suggested.
"That's one reason, but who can think of more?" Karen looked around encouragingly. "Come on. Why wouldn't a pony reference work for the Fire Nation?"
"I don't think there are ponies in the Fire Nation," Sunan mused from the middle of the audience. "All of their animals are hybrids, and if they do have ponies, they'd be a cross with another breed. You'd have to say something like…ponydog win?"
"Good job, Mr. Sunan," Karen nodded. "All right, so we have to remember that any animal references must be changed to reflect the unique natures of Avatar world animals. Does anyone have another suggestion?"
"Flaming grasslands?" Izar Laun shouted.
"很好!" Karen beamed. "Care to share when one would use it and why?"
"Uh…" Izar blinked. "It'd be bad, because grassfires are really deadly…and you'd use it when something huge has gone wrong? Because it'd be like a grassfire, only not…?"
"I could see that," Karen nodded. "How about another one? Maybe somebody knows a little something about Asian mythology?" The slide changed again, this time to show three pictures - one of fire, one of the sun, and one of lightning. "Here are the three types of fire, according to Indian mythology - and by Indian I mean Hindu, not Native American. You could try using a reference to them, say, 'three fires'? Or what about mythological figures associated with fire?" Again the slide changed, this time to an old-looking painting of a two-headed man with bright red skin riding a ram. Fire surrounded his faces, and both he and his mount were decked out in jewelry and fine-looking cloth. "The Fire Nation is known to have Indian influences. Why can't they also have similar mythological figures? Agni was the Hindu god of fire, and in case you don't remember, I myself exclaimed his name not long ago. Many people invoke spiritual or religious names when they swear—Catholics have been known to call on 'Mary, Mother of God,' haven't they? An alternative, if you would prefer having a female fire spirit, her name could be Pele. Pele is a Hawaiian volcano goddess that also controls lightning. Since the Fire Nation is a series of volcanic islands, and we've already heard about the three types of fire as defined by Indian mythology, I'd say she'd fit too."
"Did you google all this?" Carsten D yelled. Karen blinked, and started to look extremely guilty.
"…No."
"Suuure," Danish rolled her eyes. Ashee Bieber giggled next to her.
"Uhh, we're gonna look at Earth Kingdom slang," Karen changed the slides quickly. The Earth Kingdom emblem—Lupe felt a bit proud that she could recognize it now—came up. "Here we have a lot of possibilities. There are the different kinds of rocks, the stages of rocks, uses for rocks, blatant puns on getting high in the form of 'stone' references…this shouldn't be too hard. Anyone?"
"That's the peak?" Nicole Jackson suggested. "Like, mountain peaks?"
"It's stonin'!" Vera cried before dissolving into giggles. Half of the female students joined her, and a fair number of men as well.
"I'll rock your world!" Joe C. Smith, whose arm was slung around the shoulders of Andy Roseanne, cackled. He turned to face Andy. "No, seriously. I will."
"And I'd be more than happy to give your gems a shine," Andy smirked.
"We're moving on before those two get even more inappropriate!" Karen declared. "Water Tribe slang, go!"
"Rough waters!"
"Smooth sailing!"
"Hey, that one exists already! Karen, you should give her detention!"
"But it fits, so I'm not going to, though I'll be more than happy to throw a cookie at you if you'd like to be more unhelpful."
"I'm good…"
"Frigid!"
"Cool!"
"All right, that's enough," Karen crossed her arms. "Let's get some Air Nomad slang thought up, I'll introduce a few new Staff members, and you can all have the rest of the day off." Several students cheered. "You'll need all the rest you can get for GrammarBootCamp in two weeks." Those who didn't know what GrammarBootCamp was groaned; those who had heard stories, or experienced it themselves at another OFU, had the sense to look terrified.
"Would 'that blows' work?" Zerkz suggested. "Or 'wind beneath my glider'?"
"I'd say they would, yes," Karen agreed, "but how about something obscure? Any ideas?"
"'It's a tempest'?" Meep, still sitting at an awkward angle and staring with wide eyes, shouted. Karen took a look at her, shrugged, and used her clicker to turn off the projector.
"Good enough for me," she declared. Turning to face a nearby shed, she called, "Oi, Tenzin! Bring out yer cast! And yes, that was a Monty Python reference!"
"I don't know what Monty Python is!" A man opened the door to the shed. He exited, leading about nine other people to the stage. "Here we are. Do your introductions, if you would."
"Gladly, my good sir," Karen executed a heelspin and promptly fell over. "Ow. Hi Meelo. Please don't sit on my—mphf!" One of the new arrivals, a young boy clearly no older than seven, had perched himself on Karen's face. He was wearing an Airbender's outfit in more muted tones than Lupe remembered from the show, complete with a shawl.
"Meelo, she can't breathe," the man who seemed to be the leader of the group sighed. He picked the boy up and placed him on the shoulder of another boy, this one a teenager dressed in gray with a green sash. "Bolin, could you watch him for a moment? Thank you…"
"Sure," Bolin grinned. Meelo immediately began to pull his hair. "Ow…no, stop that…"
"Thanks, Tenzin," Karen accepted an offered hand and pulled herself up. "All right students, these are the ten characters who have received official designs for the upcoming Nickelodeon series The Last Airbender: Legend of Korra." Hands immediately shot into the air. "Questions will be answered afterwards. Thankfully none of them have lusters yet, but there will still be lemurs escorting them everywhere in case someone notes resemblances to other staff members. Yes Mako, I'm talking about you. Deny it all you like, you're the new series' Zuko, you just don't angst."
"I'm not," a boy in dark grey with a red scarf muttered. He crossed his arms belligerently. Lupe squinted to get a better look at him—he really did look like Zuko, actually. Just, no scar. Hey, he was sorta hot…
"Before I tell you all their names," Karen spoke a bit more loudly than before to cover up Mako's muttering, "I'll tell you two things. One of them is Katara's child, and the other is Toph's child. And yes, Tenzin is an Airbender—his yellow and orange clothing sorta gives it away—so it does follow that he is Aang's son."
"Ooh!" Scarlet squealed. "I know, I know! Tenzin's Toph's son, right? And that old chick, she's Katara and Zuko's daughter! Ah, I knew it! Zutara all the way!"
"Wrong on all counts," Karen raised an eyebrow wickedly. "Everyone, meet Tenzin, third child of Avatar Aang and Katara of the Southern Water Tribe. And that 'old chick' is Bei Fong, daughter of Toph and an unknown male, head of the Metalbender Cops of Republic City."
Those in the audience who supported Zutara began to scream in outrage, while the Kataangers began to cheer. Lupe couldn't believe it—there was no way Tenzin was Aang and Katara's kid! Katara and Zuko were meant to be!
"Ahem?" Karen cleared her throat loudly, making threatening gestures with a cookie. All but the most enthusiastic fell silent, and a few cookie throws later it was quiet enough for the black-clad woman to continue. "As I was saying, this is Tenzin. Holding his hand is his wife Pema, who is, yes, pregnant. It's their fourth child. Jinora, the taller girl next to her mother, is their eldest daughter, and the other girl jabbering away at her father with no regard for who's speaking is Ikki, their younger daughter. I'd say you gathered Meelo's name when he sat on my face. That's him, sitting on Bolin's shoulder. Bolin is an Earthbender from a multiracial family in Republic City."
"What does that mean?" Moon Dragon yelled.
"It means that he has relatives in more than one nation," Karen explained. "Mako, next to him, is his brother. Mako's also a Firebender. A Firebender and an Earthbender, as brothers; you really can't predict these things. Of the two, Mako is the elder."
"Like Bolin ever listens to me because of that," Mako rolled his eyes. He even sounded sorta like Zuko…
"The creepy guy in the mask with a hood up is Oman, the main villain of Legend of Korra," Karen pointed to a man hanging near the back of the group. "He's really not very well defined, so until the creators tell us more about him, he's gonna be sort of…bipolar. And this young lady in Water Tribeblues, standing next to me," Karen clapped a hand on the shoulder of a teenaged girl with brown hair and blue eyes, "is Avatar Korra, the Avatar immediately after Aang."
"Hello there, everyone," Korra smiled and waved. "I was created after the same basic model as Katara, thanks to her popularity in the original series. Avatar Aang's shoes are gonna be hard to fill, but in my show I promise to do my best to—"
"Hey, she does look sorta like Katara," Ashee Bieber noted.
"And Mako looks like Zuko!" Danish observed.
"Maybe they'll be paired together, and it'll be like the Zutara of the future!" Andy Roseanne cheered. "Makorra forever!" The resulting cheers of approval from other Zutarians drowned out all hope of recovering the situation. Korra and Mako gave each other distressed looks. They had no idea if they would end up together or not in the series, and would prefer not to find out until the show itself started.
"What'd I tell you?" Karen sighed. "Ravenous little Beasts of Caerbannog, aren't they?"
"What?" Tenzin frowned.
"That's it. The Staff is having a Monty Python Movie Night tomorrow."