THE MIND OF AN ANGEL

Disclaimer: if you think I actually own Evangelion, then you must really be retarded….

Proofread by someone you don't even know

NOTES: READ CHAPTER 7 BEFORE THIS, IT HAS BEEN REPLACED AND CHANGED!

CHAPTER 8: Survival

Shinji had ended crying on the side of a building, he slowly sat on the pavement and leaned on the wall. He didn't really feel anything at this point; he could only keep thinking what he had found out.

She really is that way…

The thoughts running through his head were too many, every memory of her treatment, every insult… He needed to talk to someone…

Berserker, I did not interrupt because you apparently had much importance over this.

Shinji snapped from his depression for a second, he forgot he wasn't alone anymore.

But for the better of both our beings, get shelter and eat before you faint.

Wha-

Human, control your feelings and focus on your body for a moment.

Shinji didn't really understand but he took a few breaths and composed himself. As his memories started to fade, his senses finally came. He didn't know where he was, not to mention it was night. His hunger was near a point of making him faint. He tried to standing up, but as soon as he tried his legs failed him. He fell to the pavement, almost slamming to the ground.

Oh shit, shit…I'm screwed. Where the hell am I? What if of those cultists are out here? Everyone knows my face. What am-

HUMAN, COMPOSE YOURSELF.

His thoughts stooped, the scream from the angel scared the hell out of him.

NOW, calm your feelings and think clearly. Do you recognize this place?

Shinji did as he was told, looked around. The place had a vague familiarity, but he didn't know where he was. He was in old part of town, destroyed long ago by the first angel he fought. Nobody like NERV here. Nobody LIKED NERV either.

No…

Then think human, who can we contact?

He tried thinking of someone; he must have been running for a good hour, so he couldn't be near anybody. He focused harder.

Ok,ok,ok,ok think dammit…

As he was thinking he searched his pockets, anything that might help him. Nothing, just his wallet and identification. He tried looking around for a phone booth, anything that could help him. He wished he hadn't.

Across the street, under the streetlight, stood a lone figure. He looked horrible, with torn cloths, but that didn't scare him. What he was holing in his hands did.

He had rope and a knife.

Oh shit…

What is this human? A "cultist"?

He didn't care, he had heard stories how they took NERV personnel and held them for ransom. Most rescue missions were successes, but some died. Not to mention he wasn't a simple technician… he was a pilot.

The man started crossing the street slowly, entering its darkness. Shinji's mind was racing, what could he do? Even if he wasn't in this condition, he didn't have any actual training. He tried to think harder as he heard more footsteps from different directions.

An idea hit him.

Arael, stop them please, just stop them.

Are you insane Berserker?! Even if I could, you are in no condition for me to use my powers. It could kill you.

He tried thinking anything. The Cultist were inching closer, he couldn't see them, but the footsteps were getting louder. Think! There was no help. He was alone. Well, not really. A thought crossed his mind, why was he never alone?

Berserker…

Arael, but even before that…why?

They were within eight feet of him now. Why was he never ALONE?

BERSERKER!

Then it hit him.

"S2!!!!!" he screamed "S2!! HELP"

The man was upon him now, along to two others by Shinji's side. The man started to extend his hand towards Shinji. Then he stopped.

Steps could be heard, running. The man with the rope turned to where the sound was coming from. Soon a gunshot was heard, hitting the man in between the eyes. His two associates turned around, two more gunshots were heard. One was hit square in the chest, the other in the shoulder as he disappeared. Both men at Shinji's side fell.

Soon a man in a black suit appeared a pistol in his hand. "Get up" he said, looking if there were more, "GET UP!"

Shinji just replied: "I can't"

As more sounds were heard, the agent took Shinji from the shoulder, as he put Shinji's arm over his back. They start running to the end of the street. "My cars a block down come on."

As they're reaching the end of the street, chanting could be heard, and there was light coming from there. As if they're carrying torches. "Shit" mutters the agent, as he moves into a side alley. The get out on the other side, as they see the car. To both their relief, it's intact and there are no cultist there.

The agent helps Shinji get in the car, and he gets on the drivers seat. As he begins driving out, they encounter a mob of cultist. They did have torches, along with with more modern blowtorches and molotovs.

What the fuck is this, the middle ages? The agent grabs Shinji's head and lowers him and himself as he steps on the gas. As they approach, the mob throws molotovs and rocks at the car, when they get close, they use the blowtorches. The windshield is on fire, along with the doors heating up. As they collide with three cultist, the agent shifts gears to get the hell out of there. The cultists continue their barrage of molotovs, but soon they're out of sight.

The flames on the windows and windshield slowly die out, as both raise they're heads. The agent sighs in relief, simply saying: "God bless fire proof cars." He begins driving out of the district.

"Why didn't you stop them before?" asked a still panicking Shinji.

"Well excuse me; you're the one that ran like a maniac. I lost you three hours ago, I've been looking since. If you hadn't screamed…"

Shinji gulped at the thought.

The agent reaches for a towel he had in the back and hands it to Shinji "Clean Yourself up"

Shinji didn't notice until now, his shirt had blood on it, along with part of his arm and neck. He takes the towel and starts wiping of what he can.

"Now listen," began the agent, "S2 agents, under no circumstances can reveal themselves" he looked at Shinji and continued, "And if your father found out about this

I'd probably be killed"

" I don't care why you decided to take a stroll out her, but if ANYONE finds out, we are both in trouble," he turned his attention back to the wheel, "I have no idea what happened to the other agent, but I almost failed to protect you."

"But, it wasn't your fault" he began quietly, "I'm the one that shouldn't have gone there…"

"Kid, do you think your father would care?"

Shinji didn't say anything, acknowledging it.

"In other words, THIS never happened"

Shinji was absorbing every word he said, it was true. He had almost gotten them both killed. He nodded to the comment, and stared outside the window.

"Now," he began, "In my report, I will write you simply got lost, and found your way back to the major's place. That will be our story, got it?"

Shinji again nodded in confirmation as the car stooped in Misato's apartment complex.

Shinji started to open the door, when the agent stooped him.

"There's a jacket in the back, blood's still on your shirt."

As Shinji put on the jacket from the back, he walked slowly to the driver's window to see the agent. Most of his face was covered by sunglasses.

"Are you still gonna be watching me?" he asked

"Probably" was the short reply he got, as the window started going up.

"Who are you?" he asked, wanting to know his name. But he knew the agent wouldn't tell.

The agent looked at Shinji and said: "I'm your guardian angel kid, with a pistol" and with that he drove off.

Shinji made his way up to his home. His legs aching with every step, he finally reached the door and knocked. A few seconds later, the door was opened by Misato.

"Shinji? Where have you been?" Asked Misato, who was apparently only wearing a shirt over her underwear. Normally, this alone would make him nervous, but his hormones were the last thing on his mind.

"Sorry I'm late Misato, I got lost." Was all he said as he went inside, keeping up with the story.

"Lost?" asked Misato as she closed the door, "But weren't you with Hikari and Kensuke at NERV?"

"I left before them," he said, trying to sound convincing, "I must have taken a few wrong turns. It took me forever to get here."

"Shinji," she asked questioningly, raising an eyebrow, "Did you think of using your cell?"

Thankfully, Misato was looking at Shinji's back. Otherwise she would have seen his shocked expression. Shinji laughed and said "You're right, I guess I forgot." With that he started to open the screen to his room as Misato passed by him to go to her room.

She yawned, stretching her arms upward, saying something that appeared to be "Good night Shinji, call next time" Shinji snapped out of it and nodded as he went into his room a bit too quickly. Again she raised an eyebrow, but was too tired to think at the moment as she entered her own room.

Shinji leaned on the side of his bed, when she stretched; her shirt went up, showing a good view of her panties. He shook out of his train of thought Stop thinking of her like that! He told himself. He had bigger problems anyways.

I lost my cell…

Can you not procure a new one?

That's not it; I probably dropped it running from the hospital. If the Cultists find it they have all of my numbers-

And could then find a way to harm your fellow pilots and friends?

Yeah, not to mention what else they could do.

Shinji leaned his head back, resting it on the sheets. Too much had happened today, Toji, Rei, Asuka, he had almost died, and now they could all be in danger… he just really wanted to sleep…

Berserker?

His eyes closing at a painful pace, he gave in to the exhaustion and hunger. Eyes shut, his mind drifted into dream.

Misato was standing before him, with only a shirt on, Shinji was apparently only in his underwear. He was sitting on the edge of his bed as Misato asked: "Do you want to have fun Shinji?"

Shinji looked around, everything else was pitch black. Misato, with a kind bright glow, walked in front of him. Putting her finger on his chin, she lifted his eyes to meet hers.

"Do you want to kiss me, Shinji" she asked in a seductive tone, smiling. All Shinji could do was nod as Misato closed the distance to his lips. He moaned and fell back on the bed as Misato's tongue entered his mouth. Her hands cradled his head as the kiss became more passionate. Her hips grinded against his, causing him more moans. She stopped the kiss to look at him and ask, "Do you want me to pleasure you Shinji?"

He nodded again, his eyes still closed. But he opened them again as he felt weight lifted from his chest. She was straddled to his hips, as she grabbed the hem of here shirt and took it off, revealing her naked figure. She was so beautiful, and her breasts…

His train of thought was interrupted as her hands grabbed the edges of his underwear, and lowered them. His member burst from its prison, a testament to his arousal. She let out a small giggle as she came back down to kiss him, her breast pressing to his chest. So soft… was his only coherent thought. Her left hand snaked its way down his chest, to his abdomen. She made circles on his stomach before finally coming down to his member.

Shinji winced and moaned from her touch. As her hands caressed the length of his member, his breathing quickened. She began motions of caressing it up and down his length. This made him moan more frequently, as she asked him "Do you want to fuck me?"

He couldn't answer, this was euphoria. Her touch was so soft and careful; every muscle in his body was melting. This was a high of pleasure, so much that he didn't notice two figures coming from his sides. He could fell bare breasts on both his arms, but these weren't as big as…

"Do you want to fuck me?"

He barely opened his eyes, to see Asuka at his right. Then he felt a hand turn his head to the left, to see those familiar red eyes. Rei. "Do you want to fuck me?" she asked, with that soothing voice of hers. He was going to say something, but Misato's pace quickened; all he made out was a moan. Soon two new figures appeared, but these were adults, short brown hair and a blonde. Maya and Ritsuko.

"Do you want to fuck me?" they asked. Misato increased her pace, as all of them caressed his body. They kept asking, but he couldn't answer from the fact that Misato's hand kept going up and down on his member. His moans, whimpers and breaths were all he could he say. They kept asking, and asking, and asking. Then they fell silent, Misato's pace was unrelenting now. His muscles tightened, as he felt a pressure build up. Misato's head come to his ear and simply whispered:

"Do you want to fuck me?"

Oh god, oh god, oh god-

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Shinji's head shot up, gasping for air. He was staring at his door, and he was still leaning on the bed. His muscles loose, he rubbed his temple. Oh god, he thought that was so real… He still recalled her touch on his…

NO he ordered himself just stop, just stop… he walked to his closet to get clean clothes and much needed clean underwear. As soon as he did, he went to the bathroom to change. As soon as he was done, he went to the laundry room, and threw his clothes one by one. He was hoping the blood would get of his shirt; soon he threw in his pants and undershirt. When he got to his underwear, he simply dropped it in. He turned on the machine and leaned on it for support.

Do I see women as just objects? He asked himself. He looked at the clock in the laundry room 2:00 AM. He felt like shit.

Berserker, at the sound of the voice he jumped up although I could question you about your dream, you should eat.

Shinji didn't feel hungry, he didn't feel anything really, but obeyed. He quietly went to the kitchen, hoping Misato wouldn't wake. He opened the fridge and thanked god for Misato's takeout habits. He grabbed a box of Teriyaki chicken that was half-empty, fork still in it. Soon he sat down and devoured it. He would have appreciated nourishment, but his mind was elsewhere.

I'm so fucked up… was all he thought as he put down the fork.

Human, if this concerns the dream, are they common among your age?

But I can't keep thinking of them like that, how could I be with Rei if all I want to do is… He almost didn't say the next word fuck…her.

But human, you do have feelings for her.

What if my sub-conscious is telling me-?

Human, I AM your sub-concious at the moment, THINK! Do you want to be with the Ayanami girl for simply pleasure, or for something else?

Shinji was quiet…he was contemplating the question. But his thinking was interrupted by Arael.

Now, will I have to keep pretending to be your inner voice, or are you going to let me answer your question?

Shinji was puzzled, this question? Why would Arael-

Not this one Berserker, the one before…In the hospital.

He snapped out of his contemplation, You're really going to tell me why you fight us?

There was small pause One deserves to know why he fights.

Shinji didn't say anything, he had wanted to know for so long, not the lies…

But the truth…

There are 18 angels Berserker, not 17 as you are commonly told, and the 18th…is humanity.

Shinji was immediately confused and convoluted, but knew would not answer the questions he had, were they going to fight people?

In The beginning, Adam and Lilith gave us a choice. The fruit of life or The fruit of intelligence. All picked the fruit of life. Except you lilim, you picked the fruit of intelligence. We rejected our human form, and became powerful. While you became intelligent, and the dominant species on Earth.

We became jealous, and we waited; until we had a chance to begin third Impact. This would start the world anew, thus giving one of us the chance to become dominant. This is why we do not help each other, for we ourselves are rivals.

Human, this is all I will ever tell you. At least for now.

Shinji couldn't believe any of this…

But the reason why you fight Berserker is simple:

You fight to survive.

Asuka was right, they're our enemy…He thought, not aware of Arael.

Now, let us rest. Even I grow tired.

Shinji would have protested, but he was just overwhelmed by everything today. Maybe this would be a dream? But even he knew this was all real. He lied down on his bed, thinking of what tomorrow would bring. With this he fell asleep. Even the angel was tired, so he decided to "Sleep" as well.

Perhaps he would dream…

AN: MAAAAAAAAAAAAN does a lot of shit happen in this or what?

1: if you read this without re-reading chapter 7, you are truly ignorant; I posted a warning a top of the page. The beginning is the same, but the middle and end is radically different.

2: Again I say this, IM SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG!, but many factors contributed to me stopping, but im back. Expect another chapter this month, but definitely not this long.

3: CULTIST! HMMMMM HMMMM, I love fucked up people. Since I play WH 40K (Lots of cultist there!), I might include cultist in the story line. As it stands, it won't be a main storyline.

4: the dream was a twofold thing, for all the people anxious for the lemons, its gonna be a while. Lime though isn't so tough, so this was a taste. And the dream is a look into Shinji, whether its just hormones will be revealed.

5: there the answer is given to a lot of people's questions. NOW some of you will debate that this isn't it. I don't claim this is the reason of the angels attack; it is the most popular and the one that I like best. Correct if im wrong.

6: PROOFREADER? Do I need one? Yes, more than one? Probably. Any volunteers?

(Cause I know my grammar sucks)

7: Title, twin meaning (Survive the cultist, we fight for survival)

8: PLEASE REVIEW AND FORGIVE ME FOR TACKING SO LONG, BE AS CRITICAL AS POSIBLE.