Author: Raven Shadowrose

Rating: M

Pairing: ?/?

Summary: Sequel to Epiphany, Jeff and Dixie are trying to have a baby, what happens when it is likely to be more difficult than they first thought?

Disclaimer: I do not know or own any of the characters from Casualty, any original characters and the story are my property and I do not give permission for either of them to be used.

A/N: This is a direct sequel to Epiphany, please read that first to understand this story :) Reviews are welcome :)

Thank you to BeethovenRIP, olivia. c. king1 and chan. nelson4444 for your reviews and support, I think this is a very squishy chapter.

Chapter Forty-Seven.

The weeks passed quickly and Sam continued to develop and gain weight, it was time for Dixie's six week check and Jeff had taken the day off so that he could go with her, he wanted to be there for her as often as he could be. He'd had to return to work and he had been finding it hard being without Sam and Dixie during the day. Jeff called home as often as he could and always rushed home to them after the shift, he wanted to know everything that had happened and if Sam had done anything. He loved his family and being with them made him happy and complete. Jeff always made time to sit with Sophia and John as they were doing their homework or watching something on television after finishing their work. Sometimes they would talk about their mum, they had talked to her on the phone a couple of times, Jeff respected that they wanted to talk to her and he wouldn't stop them. Jeff kept his opinions to himself, there were times he still hated Lucy for what she did to the kids but he knew that it wasn't all her fault, she had been ill at the time. Jeff shook his head, he was trying hard not to dwell on the bad things. There were plenty of good things in his life and he wanted to focus on them instead.

Dixie sat in the waiting room of the surgery, she was a bit nervous, she hoped that the doctor would tell her that everything was all right with her and Sam. Dixie heard her name being called and she stood up, Jeff picked up Sam's basket and they went into the room that they had been told to. 'Hello Mr and Mrs Collier, please take a seat.' Dixie sat down and Jeff sat next to her with Sam. 'I understand that this is your six week post-natal check. How are you feeling?'

'I'm all right.'

'Any signs of depression or feeling low?'

'No.'

'Good. Are you breastfeeding?'

'Yes, I am.'

'How is that going?'

'Very well, better than I thought it would.'

'Excellent. During this visit I will check your blood pressure do a urine test and examine you to make sure that everything has healed properly.'

'Okay.'

'Have you had a period yet?'

'No, should I have?'

'I do not think that you will restart your periods until you start breastfeeding less, you should see some signs of them returning when you're breastfeeding about three times a day.'

'All right.'

'Let's start with your blood pressure.' Dixie rolled her sleeve up so the doctor could put the blood pressure cuff on her arm.

Jeff was relieved to hear that Dixie's blood pressure and weight were both normal and her urine test showed that her kidneys were functioning normally. Dixie was being examined by the doctor and he was relieved to hear the doctor tell Dixie that her uterus had returned to its normal position and her muscles used during the delivery all felt normal and as they should be. The doctor pulled the curtain back when she had finished examining Dixie, she washed her hands and she started typing things into the computer. 'I am satisfied that you are healthy after giving birth. In another six weeks I want you to come back in so we can do a cervical screening test, it is just routine after you have given birth.'

'All right, I will do.'

'We will send you an appointment through the post. Have you had sexual intercourse since you gave birth?'

'No, not yet, we've been busy with Sam.'

'That's understandable, when you start intimate relations again you will need to use some form of contraception, as you are breastfeeding you will not be able to go back on the pill for the time being. I will give you some information on the forms of contraception you can use. Fertility can return quickly after childbirth and you should take care.'

'Thank you.'

'How are you sleeping?'

'We take it in turns with the feeding so it isn't too bad. I do feel tired occasionally but we have a child minder to help me out if I need a sleep during the day.'

'Good. How does Sam sleep?'

'He wakes up for his feeds and we've had some nights where he struggles to sleep but those seem to be getting fewer now.'

'That is normal, now that he is six weeks old you should be able to develop his sleeping patterns. If you have any problems then ask your health visitor for some advice and tips to help Sam to sleep.'

'We will do.' Jeff squeezed Dixie's hand and she smiled at him.

Dixie was happy that the doctor thought that she was fit and healthy after giving birth. 'While you are here I will create a medical record for Sam with the information from your health visitor. He is developing well judging by the information here. I'll just take a quick look at him.' Dixie put Sam on the bed and stood by as the doctor checked him over. 'Has he smiled yet?'

'Not yet.'

'There is time, some babies don't smile until they are eight weeks.' The doctor listened to Sam's heart and breathing, she checked his pulse and made sure that his spine was developing properly. 'Everything is developing as it should, Sam is focusing on objects and making all of the noises I would expect for a baby of his age.' Dixie fastened Sam's baby grow and then put him back in his basket as the doctor made more notes on Sam's file. 'Keep up the visits with the health visitor at the clinic and they will notify us when he has had his first set of injections. If you need to discuss anything or feel the need to visit then book an appointment at any time.'

'We will, thank you doctor.'

'You're welcome, I will see you in six weeks for your cervical screening test.' Dixie and Jeff said goodbye to the doctor and went back to the car, she was pleased that Sam was growing healthily and she was well too.

Jeff was happy with the progress that Sam and Dixie were making he just wanted them both to be healthy and well. He carefully parked the car in the driveway and took Sam inside in his basket. Once Jeff got Sam inside the house he carefully took him out of his basket and held him close. 'Hey Little Bug, I'm so proud of you, you're getting to be a very big boy.' Jeff lay back on the sofa and rested Sam on his chest, he liked to just hold him against his chest like this. He gently held Sam so he wouldn't fall off and closed his eyes, it had been a bit of a long night as Sam kept waking up, surely it wouldn't matter if he just rested his eyes for a little while? Jeff gently stroked Sam's head and then kissed it. 'I love you my Little Bug,' he said and protectively put his arm over Sam's back to keep him from falling off. Jeff was happy that he had got to spend the day with Sam and Dixie, Sophia and John would be home later and then he could spend time with them too.

Dixie went into the lounge and she saw Jeff lying on the sofa with Sam resting on his chest, she went closer and saw Jeff's breathing deeply, he'd obviously fallen asleep. He had got up to feed Sam and sit with him when he woke the night before and it had obviously exhausted him. Dixie smiled and sat down on the floor, she gently lifted Sam out from under Jeff's arm. 'Come on peanut, let's let your daddy sleep, I think he is a bit tired.' Dixie gently put a cushion under Jeff's head and covered him up with a blanket and she kissed him on the head. 'Sleep well love.' Dixie smiled down at her husband and she turned her attention to Sam. 'Come on my little one, someone needs changing.' Dixie rested Sam down on the changing mat and she carefully removed his nappy, put it into the bag she had waiting. She cleaned him up and put the cream on to protect him from nappy rash. Dixie secured Sam's new nappy and gently tickled him under the chin. She thought about how happy she was to be a mum, she loved looking after Sam and just holding him close to her. 'I love you my little one.' Sam yawned and Dixie smiled. 'I think it is time for your nap peanut.' She put Sam on his back in his little basket and held his hand as he fell asleep.

Dixie felt peaceful, the house was quiet with both Sam and Jeff asleep, she just sat watching them and thinking. Jeff had given her the chance to be a mum and she loved him for it, he was the only man that she had ever fallen for and that made him quite special. It was his eyes that she had noticed first, she liked looking into them and they made her feel peaceful. His hugs had always been comforting and she loved them a lot. Having his arms around her made her feel loved and cared for, she loved him too, if there was one thing that she knew then it was that. He had always gone out of his way to make her happy and do whatever he could for her. Dixie knew that Jeff had always loved her, she always suspected that he had revealed his true feelings when he had said he loved her during the time they were trapped by those dogs. She often wondered how he dealt with his feelings for her after that day, had he held any hope that they would be together one day? Had he ever allowed himself to dream that she might love him back. Dixie looked at Jeff as he was sleeping, he wasn't everyone's idea of a perfect man, he was human and he made mistakes. She had seen a lot of the mistakes that he had made at work and in his personal life but it didn't make her love him any less. Dixie looked at her watch, she had lost track of time while she was thinking and it was getting later in the day, the kids would be home from school soon and Little Abs was going to need walking. She didn't want to wake Jeff up but she was going to have to. Sam was still asleep and he would be until he needed his next feed.

Jeff felt someone gently shaking him out his sleep. 'Jeff love, come on, it is time to wake up.' He was still feeling as if he was asleep but he remembered that he had been holding Sam as he went to sleep. Jeff opened his eyes and saw that Sam was no longer there, he sat up quickly.

'Dix, where's Sam?'

'Hush love, he's sleeping in his basket. I came in to find you asleep.' Jeff breathed a sigh of relief, Sam was all right.

'I was worried that something had happened to him.'

'No love, he was quite happy lying on your chest, even in sleep I know you wouldn't let anything happen to him.'

'No, I wouldn't.'

'You looked so cute with our Little Bug lying on you.'

'Do you mean I'm not cute normally?'

'Of course you are.' Jeff smiled and made room for Dixie on the sofa, she snuggled up to him and he put his arm around her.

Dixie rested her head against Jeff's shoulder and she took comfort from having him so close to her. 'Jeff.'

'Yeah.'

'I love you.'

'Love you too princess.'

'I think we should try to make love again, I miss being in your arms.'

'Are you sure that you're ready?'

'I don't know but I think that we should try, we won't know unless we do.'

'Yeah, you're right. If it hurts you I will stop though.'

'Deal.' Dixie felt her chin being gently lifted and she found herself looking into Jeff's eyes, he leaned in and she closed her eyes as his lips touched hers. She felt his fingers running up and down her arm as their kiss became deeper and she rested her free hand on the back of Jeff's neck. Dixie slowly opened her eyes when Jeff pulled back from her, she looked at him and smiled. 'When do you want to try making love again princess?' Dixie heard the huskiness and desire in Jeff's voice and it excited her.

'Maybe tomorrow evening after the kids are all in bed.'

'Okay, we'll try then.' Dixie snuggled back into Jeff, she was looking forward to being with him again, she felt as if it had been too long since they had made love to each other.

Jeff lifted Sam out of his basket when he woke up, he carefully supported his head and rocked him. 'Hey, my little one, did you have a nice sleep?' He looked down at his son and kissed him on the head. 'Little Bug, you're so cute.' Jeff saw Dixie watching them and he smiled at her.

'I think he looks more and more like you every day Dixie.'

'He still has your eyes, I am glad he kept the colour of them.' Jeff hummed a little tune as he held Sam, he liked doing all of this stuff for him, being a dad was the best feeling in the world.

'Dix,' Jeff said and looked at her.

'What is it?'

'Look, he's smiling.' Jeff felt Dixie move and look at Sam.

'You're right, he's such a clever little boy. I'm going to write it in his book.' Jeff kept hold of Sam as Dixie wrote down the date of his first smile in the book.

Dixie looked up when she heard the door open, Sophia and John were back from school. She watched as they ran in and then Sophia immediately went over to her dad and Sam. 'Hello little brother, I missed you.' She gently put her arms around Jeff and Sam, Dixie smiled, the scene made her feel so warm and happy. John came over to her.

'Hello Dixie.'

'Hello John.' He immediately gave her a hug and she hugged him back. John had only recently found the confidence to hug her without being asked if he would like to, it had been a pleasant surprise and she loved it. John went over to Jeff and Sophia and he hugged his dad as Sophia was holding Sam. Dixie's mind drifted over a few of the struggles they had faced to get here; the operation, taking in the kids and moving to a bigger house, all of them had been worth it.