Demi's POV
*Flashback*- A few months previos
I love the feeling of sleep so much. Too bad I'm getting interrupted by my phone going off. I look at it, its 8 am. It's my manager; I pick up my phone off my bedside drawer look at the text five texts all saying the same thing, [Wake Up!]
[good morning to you to dad...] I take my phone and go to the bathroom.
He responds, [Fan Mail time!] I hate it how he is my manager. I just want him to be able to have a normal family conversation with him. There's a knock on the door. I'm only in a tank top and booty shorts. I go back into my room and put on my robe. I then walk down stairs and open the door. It's my other manager Phillip. He's holding a sack the size Santa Claus'.
He says, "Hi Demi" I don't really like Phillip that much, he's too serious. I much rather have the boss I had for X Factor for a manager, Simon.
I smile and say, "Hi Phillip"
Just as I expected he just did his drill sergeant thing, telling me to read them and not to write back to all of them because it takes too long. I never listen. I think it's important to show my Lovatics that I care. Plus I have tomorrow off to so if I don't finish today; it's no big deal.
When he finished I say bye, and close the door. I don't know where to do this... I chose to sit down on my couch. I get a notepad and pen so that I can respond to the ones I want to and not get up. I set everything down and get started.
The first few letters were just usual, I love you's nothing I really had to respond to. But then I came across this...
Dear Demi,
Thank you so much for everything. Words cannot describe what you have done to me since I started to listen to your music. It has made me seek help, for the problems within me. But there is something I haven't told anyone, not even my counselor, my parents, or my best friend… I look really happy on the outside but I am not. I feel like I'm worthless and I hate myself 90% of my day. I just put on a smile because I don't deserve the attention of others. I am the type who makes everyone happy and makes it non-awkward. I'm tired of doing that. I want to be able to talk to people on a real level. I hate the way my body looks. I feel like every time I eat my stomach gets bigger and bigger. So during the week I don't eat at all. I stay up into all hours of the night worrying if I'll ever be good enough for people. I don't want to self-harm but when I scratch my arms with my safety pins, it feels so good, just to release the pain. I sometimes scar and bleed but I don't know…
From when I started school until I started high school I got bullied so bad; it sticks to me this day. I was that weird girl that had the stomach and lazy eye. They used to call me retarded, bug eyed, fat ass, most true and still call me that. But now I don't have to deal with their words or opinions much since I started going to a performing arts high school. It means the world to me; my major is acting. If they offered singing I would take it. Singing is my life, and has been since I was a very little girl. I know that sounds obnoxious since I'm only a teenager but ever since I was four, I loved to just sing my heart and lungs out. Luckily now I'm using my diaphragm though so I'm not causing any throat aches or damages but still… As much as I love musical theater, the people are just so mean. They just criticize every little thing, and you can tell what they are thinking even if they don't say it; I can't stand it! I think I might give up, but then I would have nothing which wouldn't be good. It's weird because I love performing but I hate doing it in front of small audiences, I'm kinda scared someone is going to come over and start pelting stuff at me. I know that sounds ridiculous…
So do you think I should get help for the problems within? I don't know, I'm scared of what will happen. It sounds painful, plus how will people treat me. I don't want them to be walking on eggshells when I return to school. For the amount I crave attention, I really don't like it. I don't like it when I get close with people, and I don't like people knowing about me. This year was the first year I ever really admitted maybe I have a problem but that could be because of the summer. This summer I went into a deep depression. I would stay up until 6, 7 in the morning just staring at the walls and then stay asleep until 5pm. I wasn't eating at all or I would over eat. I didn't talk to anyone at all. I never really bathed or took care of myself. I'm starting to fall back into those habits again but I don't know…
I'm sorry you just had to read my unimportant problems, now back to you! I am so proud of how strong you are. You are a beautiful young lady who has touched millions of people. You're singing and acting ability is phenomenal and just makes me spaz out whenever I think of it. You have brought me some happiness, so thank you! You make me believe there is light at the end of this very dark journey and I can't express my gratitude for you enough. You don't have to write me back; just knowing you have read this makes me happy. If you want you can follow me on twitter at jayjayrox89, wait just kidding mostly I'm spamming you. Sorry about that I just really am a huge fan so yah. Also please come to Virginia. I have been saving up for tickets and it would just mean THE WORLD to me if you came, it would be THE UNIVERSE if I got to meet you. By the way #lesbian4demi is so true for me!
Love you always
Current Day
This girl is in such a bad place. In a way I can see the saddness on her. I want to just go and hug and tell her everything is going to be okay. Too bad I need to tell my story and stuff. For the next few minutes people around the room ask her questions, to all she replied pleasently. I have to admit, to some of them wouldn't be so pleasent about answering. She really is such a sweet person! Maybe that wasn't her and it was an accident.