Hi Guys! Here you go - the newest chapter of this story.

A bit longer than previous, but hey - the chapter had to run his course :)

Hope you enjoy it - please let me know what you think, so I know if I'm expressing it right :)

Enjoy, L.

"What the hell is wrong with you Dean?" – Sam shouted. – "We just got back a minute ago!"

"I know that, but there's a case for us and we have to go!"

"No, we don't! I'd like to get a freaking shower for crying out loud! And then get something to eat and sleep for at least twelve hours!" – Sam was so furious he could punch his brother. – "For the last two weeks all we do is drive like mad from one part of the country to another! What happened to breaks between cases?"

"Demons don't have breaks, Sammy!"

"Well, I sure as hell am not a demon and I want to slow down! I'm tired, do you get that? Or your skull's too thick to get that? We're staying! We have two days off!"

"What are we supposed to do for two days?" – Dean asked exasperated. He couldn't stay still for two days or he'll go mad!

"Get some rest! Go to a bar! Sleep!" – Sam shouted.

"Fucking amazing!" – Dean growled.

"And I want to call Cas. He's been alone for too long."

"No."

"Dean…"

"I said no, Sammy."

"What the hell happened between you two?" – Sam asked carefully.

"Nothing happened. He got his mojo back and he left. Besides he's probably with that chick, Emma something."

"He said he wanted to be alone, you know."

"Yeah, right." – Dean sneered.

"Why are you so pissed at him? So he left to be on his own for a while, so what?"

"So nothing. I'm pissed because as soon as he got his wings back he flapped them and left. We could use an angel, you know."

"Well then let's call him back!"

"No. He wanted to go and he left. That's an end of it Sammy."

"But…"

"Enough! Go get your shower and your sleep. We're leaving in two days. I'm going out."

Dean sat in his Impala for a long time. This free time was killing him. When he was doing something, he didn't have to think at that helped a lot. But now Sammy sort of stamped his foot down and he had way too much time on his hands. They were back at Bobby's, but he couldn't stay in and endure chit chat. He wanted to be busy. He wanted to be in danger. And most of all – he wanted not to think. Instead here he was – sitting alone and doing nothing but thinking.

'Cas…' – he thought again and again. – 'God damn it Cas, how did this happen?'

How did he get into it? Sure, he cared for that stupid angel, but how the hell did he managed to fall for him? He was fine. He had decent life. He had his brother and his hunt. He had his fair share of women. He had his friends and Bobby. He even had an angel. Why on Earth did he have to go and screw things up? Why did he have to fall for that said angel? They were good being friends, almost brothers. There was no other way for them – they could've been family. And now he went and did that!

He remembered that night at the bar. This is when it hit him – he was fucking jealous! When he saw that fucking whore wrap herself around Cas, he felt an urge to rip her apart. She had no right to touch him! Yet Cas seemed to enjoy that… he danced and danced with her and with every shot Dean took he became angrier and angrier.

When he could no longer hold it together, he left the bar without even glancing at the girl who was flirting with him all that time.

And then suddenly Cas was there, peaceful and at ease and he'd lost it.

He remembered the feel of Cas' lips on his. It was better than he thought it'd be. It was better than anything else he'd experienced. It was… heaven. And then the reason came back to him. What the fuck was he doing? He was kissing Castiel! An angel Castiel who'd sure as hell was about to leave him. He couldn't get more involved than he already was!

He said he'd made a mistake and a mistake it was. Dean couldn't allow himself to get caught up in these feelings. He'd been left behind his entire life by his mother, his father, even Sammy and he was determined not to let anyone else get under his thick skin, especially if that said "else" was sure to leave one day.

He was right. Cas had left him that same evening. He stayed with that stupid whore for two fucking days and all the time Dean couldn't come down. He was worried, then he was jealous, the worried again finally plain pissed.

But then Cas came back and he wasn't happy. He seemed miserable ever since. Dean couldn't understand this. There was no reason for Cas to be miserable and yet he was. Dean tried to stay out of his way as much as he could and he saw that Cas was doing the same. He was worried about him all the time, but he couldn't say anything. He didn't want to make thing worse, so he just went with it.

Then they started working on the case together and Dean thought that maybe they'd manage to get passed it and Cas would stay. Stupid, stupid…

Of course he wanted to leave. What did he, Dean, have to offer to the Angel of the Lord?

He got so fucking drunk that night he could barely walk. He was lucky, he supposed, that the girl he met there offered to bring him home. There was no chance in hell he would have tried to drive this drunk.

And then Cas was there again, holding him and asking him what did he want! Dean was such a fool in the end… Such a stupid fucking fool!

The way he kissed… Why'd he kissed that way? Why'd he kissed at all? Why didn't he simply push Dean away? As if he actually cared.

Dean closed his eyes and leaned his head back.

Of course he didn't. How could he have? He was an angel. And he left him once already to stay with that whore. Of course he didn't care.

Then why did he say he'd come back? Why'd he look so hurt?

And before he could stop himself, before he started reason with himself, Dean simply spoke:

"Cas? If you hear me Cas and if… you know, if you're not busy and all… I mean… For fuck sake, Cas, if you want, could you come?"

"Are you alright?" – Cas' voice sounded worried and Dean looked at him sitting in the passenger's seat. As soon as their eyes met they both froze in place. Cas tried to drink in every moment and every single detail of this brief moment he had with Dean and the hunter tried to understand why did the angel look so… Sad.

"No." – he finally muttered and Cas' eyes widened.

"Are you hurt? What's wrong? Where are you hurt?"

"I'm not hurt, Cas, you don't need to heal me. That's not why I asked you to come."

Castiel exhaled with relief.

"Ok. Alright. Why did you call me then?" – He asked cautiously.

"I wanted to know if you were ok. Shit, Cas, are you ok?" – Their eyes met again and Castiel knew he couldn't lie.

"No."

"Why?"

"I've missed you." – The angel mumbled silently. He knew he should have lied, but there was no strength left in him to lie. Those past two weeks have weakened him more than he thought possible. So he simply said the only possible thing – the truth.

"Cas, you shouldn't…"

"No Dean, you shouldn't ask, if you don't want to hear the answers. Why did you call me here? What do you want?" – Castiel was almost pleading now. There was so much tension between them that Castiel could almost touch it.

"Don't ask me that Cas."

"Why?"

"Because you know my answer."

"No, I don't! All I know is that I'm not ok. Dean, all of this is so miserably new to me! I don't know what it is that I'm feeling and you… One second you're angry with me, then you're drunk and you kiss me, then you're angry with me again and then you ignore me… What have I done to make you so angry with me?"

Dean jumped out of the car as if the angel's words had burned him. Castiel sighed and closed his eyes. Of course he would flee! What had he expected? Dean was always raising questions, never answering them.

Suddenly the passenger's door opened and Dean dragged him out of the car.

"You've left me!" – He shouted slamming Cas against the car. – "You fucking left me!"

"I left because I couldn't take it anymore! I understand I misplaced my feelings, but what is wrong with you? Why do you behave this way? I thought you were my friend! My family! Why couldn't you just speak to me? Why did you make it so hard? Why did you have to kiss me?" – Castiel was shaking now. He felt raw and exposed, but it didn't matter. He would die for Dean. He would do anything for Dean. Why couldn't he have simply told him he didn't want Castiel's affection? Why did he make it so hard for him? Why did he have to confuse him all the time?

"Cas…" – Dean suddenly pulled him into a strong embrace and held onto him, despite his initial struggles to get free. – "Cas, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, please… I'm so sorry…I was such an idiot! I'm so sorry… Please calm down, please… It's gonna be ok, Cas. I promise, it's gonna be ok…"

He held him for a long while, whispering soothing nonsense and promising the things would get better. It took a while but finally Castiel stopped shaking and just clung to Dean, not willing to let him go. Finally he whispered with a broken, painful voice:

"Just look at me Dean… What kind of angel am I after all this?"

"The best kind Cas. The only kind that could have ever grown on me." – He pulled back a little, cupped Cas' face in his hands and kissed him slowly and fully on a mouth. There was no anger, no urgency this time. The kiss they shared was full of comfort and understanding. They both clung to each other as if their lives depended on that, but they took their time. Their tongues caressed each other, explored each other. And this time it was different because they were both fully aware – none of them was drunk or angry or tired.

"What do you want, Dean?" – Castiel asked silently when they finally broke their kiss. They were still holding each other and Cas stared at Dean intently.

"I want you." – He answered without hesitation. – "I fucking need you, Cas."

Castiel closed his eyes and let out a deep breath he was unaware of holding.

"You have me, Dean." – He whispered and then opened his eyes again. – "Do I have you?"

Dean's lips were on him again and now there was urgency. He kissed him fiercely, sucking first on his lip and his tongue and then trailing the kisses down his jaw line to his neck. Dean's hands were roaming all over his angel who started shivering and moaning again. Dean licked the corner of Cas' mouth and an angel gasped at the sensations that overwhelmed him.

"You're loud, Cas." – Dean whispered to his mouth. – "I like it…"

"My vessel… And I too… We've never experienced this, Dean. It's very intense."

Dean's eyes darkened and he pulled back a little.

"Well, you did get some experience with that whore, you know." – He muttered angrily.

"No, I didn't." – Castiel replied calmly, still holding onto Dean. – "And I don't think you should call her whore. She didn't seem to be one."

"She sure as hell acted as one!" – Dean growled trying to pull back. This time Castiel locked his arms and refused to let go.

"Dean, I didn't stay with her."

"What? What do you mean you didn't stay with her? I know you did! You stayed with her for two fucking days! Two very long fucking days!"

"I didn't. I never went back to the bar. I left on my own."

"What? You didn't? But… Then why the hell didn't you tell me?" – Dean was furious now. He had spent two days in the state of constant jealousy induced rage and it was for nothing?

"I didn't think it mattered. You said we had to go out and engage in coitus. You thought I did that, I saw no reason to tell you differently."

"You saw no reason? I was getting insane!" – He shouted now and struggled harder to get free.

"I didn't know that. I apologize, that was not my intention. You said I shouldn't tell you how I felt about you, so I thought you'd be happier thinking I was with Emma than knowing that I spent two days thinking about you and trying to get myself under control so I could return." – Castiel held him firmly still. – "Dean, I think you should stop struggling, you'll get hurt. I don't wish to let you go."

Dean stared at him in disbelief for a second while the internal struggle went on in him. Finally he simply laughed.

"So it's all my fault, right? If hadn't been such a dick, we could've sorted this out way sooner."

"I assume by 'dick' you mean unbearable, confusing and constantly changing your mind?" – Castiel asked seriously.

"Shut up!" – Dean growled and kissed him again. – "Cas, you will stay, right?"

"I would like that." – He nodded and rested his forehead against Dean's. He felt so undeniably happy now he was actually scared something wrong would happen. That much he learned already – happiness didn't seem to last.

"Ok. I'd like that too, you know." – There was certainly relief in Dean's voice now. – "There's one more thing though. I don't want anyone to know about us."

Castiel looked at him curiously.

"Why?"

"I just don't. It's private and I want it to be private."

"I don't understand. Why is it a secret?"

"Look, I just… Well it's new to me too, you know? I've never been with a dude; I've never even wanted to be with one. And then you come along and all I want is to rip off that freakin' trench coat and go all discovery channel like on you!"

"I don't understand what that means, but I think you're saying you prefer women?" – Castiel tilted his head slightly. – "But I'm not a woman and that's a problem?"

"It's not a problem, Cas. I just want this to stay between us for the time being. I need to get used to wanting a dude!"

"But I'm not a dude, Dean. I'm an angel. Only my vessel is a man."

"Yeah, I know… The thing is I'm hot for you, but you and your vessel is kind of the same thing now, so I'm kind of hot for a dude."

"Alright, I understand. I'm also hot for a dude then, right?"

Dean laughed slightly at that. Cas reminded him a movie he once saw where the aliens where discussing the mating habits of the humans.

"Yes, I suppose you're hot for a dude too." – He smiled and kissed him again. – "So, can we keep it a secret for now?"

"Alright." – He agreed and then kissed him for the first time. – "You are the most important of my father's children, Dean."

"Shut up, you awkward angel! You're making me uncomfortable." – He smiled and pecked him lightly on the lips.

"Let's get back to the motel. That moose of a brother of mine will be happy to see you back."

"I like your brother Dean, I think he's a good man."

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't forget – we're not sharing this," – he waved his hand between them, - "with anyone yet."

"I know, I won't forget." – He nodded and let Dean lead the way to the motel. Before they walked in through the door, Dean pulled him into one last kiss and winked at him. Castiel smiled happily and they both walked in.

"Sammy!" – Dean growled and Sam poked his head from his room. – "Look who's back!"

Sam's face broke into a smile as he came closer and suddenly pulled Castiel into a tight hug.

"Finally!" – He laughed. – "We've missed you."

As Castiel hugged Sam back he saw Dean's eyebrow cock up questioningly, but he didn't seem to mind.

"I've missed you too, Sam. I'm back now."

"So, I'm not allowed to call for him, but you are, right?" – Sam asked his brother after releasing the angel. – "What the hell is it between you two? Why is it always you?"

"Dean and I share more profound bond, Sam. Since I brought him from the Pit, I think this is why I hear him better."

"Nice!" – Sam whined mockingly. – "So this idiot here has his own angel…"

"Watch out who you're calling idiot!" – Dean growled.

"I would help you in any way possible too, Sam. You're a family." – Castiel said seriously. – "I have died for you two. I would do it again."

"Alright, alright, that's enough." – Dean groaned. – "No one's dying. We're happy you're back Cas, let's leave it at that. And now we could really use some sleep, don't you think? I'm beat."

"I no longer need sleep." – Castiel said.

"Yeah, right, angel thing." – Dean nodded. – "Well, make yourself at home Cas, I'm going to bed."

"Good night, Dean, Sam." – Castiel smiled at them and settled onto a couch. He turned on the TV and focused his attention on it, wishing for the morning to come soon.

The next morning Dean woke up quite early. He was eager to see Cas again, so he decided against sleeping in.

"Morning, Cas." – He greeted him as he walked out of the shower. He smiled slightly seeing that Cas was still wearing his trench coat ad still sitting on the coach in front of the TV.

Castiel raised his head and smiled at Dean.

"Good morning." – His eyes trailed down Dean's body making the hunter blush a little. Dean was bare feet, wearing a pair of blue jeans that slung low on his hips and a simple white T-shirt. Castiel stared at him almost transfixed.

"Where's Sammy?" – Dean asked trying to break the tension.

"He went to get some juice and a pie for you. He said he'd be back soon." – Castiel replied tearing his gaze of Dean. At that time the hunter stretched and a strip of skin covering his muscular abs appeared between his jeans and the T-shirt. Castiel's eyes fixed on that strip with renewed intensity. He was startled by the reaction of his own body. His throat went completely dry, but there was some unexpected moisture on his palms. His hands almost itched with desire to touch that gorgeous body in front of him. He felt warmth in his groin and he knew he was getting hard. Without realizing it he licked his lips and then bit down on his bottom lip. This is when he heard Dean groan.

"What are you doing, Cas?" – The hunter asked in his husky voice coming closer to him. He took the side of Cas' face into his hand and brushed his thumb across the angels lips. – "You can't look at me like that or I'll jump you right here."

"I don't think I mind that." – Cas replied now looking at Dean's eyes now and biting his lip again.

"Fuck, Cas, stop it. I'm serious; I'm on a verge of jumping you."

Castiel stood up suddenly and kissed Dean almost feverishly, clinging to him. His tongue met the hunter's and they both moaned. Castiel slid his hands under the taunting T-shirt and marveled in the feeling of Dean's body in his hands. He caressed his abs, his sides feeling every muscle and enjoying the shivers that ran through the hunter and that mirrored the shivering he felt running down his own spine. He slid his hands up the hunter's body to his chest and circled one of his nipples with his thumb, flicking it lightly. He felt the hunter's body stiffen for a second and then his hips bucked pressing hard against Castiels hips and again they both moaned loudly.

Suddenly Dean pulled back forcefully.

"Stop, stop…" – He panted, completely out of breath. – "Fuck, Cas… What the fuck are you doing?"

"I think it's called getting to a second base." - Castiel replied seriously, but his cheeks were also flushed and he was breathing heavily.

"For crying out loud, do you understand I can barely control myself around you?" – Dean asked rolling his eyes. – "Few more seconds of this and I'd be fucking you right here where we stand."

"I don't see this as a bad thing." – Castiel said confusedly.

"Sammy, Cas! He'll be here any moment now. I don't think this is how he'd like to find out his brother is a queer. Besides, I don't think you're ready for this too."

"I think word queer is offensive, Dean."

"Right, right. Anyway Cas, you can't look at me like that and for the love of God, don't you bite that lip of yours or I'll bite it too!"

"Like this?" – Castiel asked smiling slightly and bit his lip once again.

"Damn it, Cas!" – Dean groaned again, his green eyes darkening. He grabbed the back of angel's neck and kissed him licking his bottom lip, then sucking on it and finally biting it and eliciting a loud moan from Castiel.

"Shit, shit! Stop it Cas! You're driving me insane!"

"Well if you do not wish me to react to you the way I do, I suggest you wear more clothes Dean." – Castiel sighed knowing this was now over. He heard Sam pull up in the drive way. – "Sam is coming; I think you should get dressed or your brother might see more than he expects." – He licked his lips again feeling the taste of Dean on them and enjoying it.

Dean ran his thumb across Castiels bottom lip once again and then pecked him quickly before returning to his room to get properly and fully dressed. Having an angel here had already proven to be much more difficult but also much more exciting than he had anticipated.