Chapter Nine: I Need Her

February turned into March and people were speaking about the end of winter and the promise of spring. Christian didn't care about the change of seasons. He was obsessed with the only woman he had loved and gave an engagement ring to. He was meaner than and as hateful as he been before Ana came into his life. He ignored his family and the attempts to include him in their plans. He refused to go dinners at his parent's home because every time he stepped in their home he could see Ana everywhere. They had planned to have their wedding at his parent's house in Bellevue. He worked constantly trying to evade the pain that coursed through his body. He punished himself in the gym with his trainer Claude to try to exhaust himself so he could have a dreamless sleep. Ana had kept the nightmares away, but he was alone in his bed. He was alone everywhere. No one could compare to Ana. Not his family, his business associates, not even Elena who was flirting around trying to gain access to him, or even the girls in the clubs that he visited for a scene and a fuck. His life was miserable.

The one bright spot was that he was richer than ever. Since he made his business his only mistress his net worth had grown. But, once again, it didn't seem to matter as he sat alone at Escala or in his office at Grey House. There were no more naughty little text messages or emails from her. He never heard her giggle anymore through his apartment. There was only silence and loneliness.

Christian was still getting Google alerts about his former fiancé and Gideon Cross. It was early in the day when he was alerted to a new gossip item about them.

It has been reported that multibillionaire, Gideon Cross, 29 years old has officially confirmed that he is in a relationship with the beautiful Anastasia Steele, age 23. Ms. Steele is the Vice-President at Cross Publishing, Inc. in charge of Editorial Processes and Author Development and has been credited with the signing of Carlson Profitt, a New York Times Best Selling List author with CPI. She was also a VP in charge of Editorial Processes at her former job at Washington Publishing ran by Rachel Crider who is reported to be a good friend of both Ms. Steele and Mr. Cross. It has also been reported by a reliable source that NYC's newest power couple is living together at Cross's Penthouse on Fifth Avenue. Ms. Steele was once engaged to multi-billionaire Mr. Christian Grey of Seattle, Washington before moving on to Gideon Cross. It seems that Ms. Steele only dates super-uber rich men. Good luck, Mr. Cross, let's hope that a Saudi Prince won't come by and steal your lovely lady!

Christian couldn't believe that a gossip rag had reported this and basically accused her of being a gold-digger. He reached for his cell phone to call her about this incident and offer any help to soothe her pain then he remembered that she changed her phone number. He didn't have a way to contact her. She cut him out of her life and started a new life without him. He sat back in his chair and thought a bit. He called Welch and asked for information about this rag who had printed such rubbish about his Ana. He would buy the damn thing and close it down! No one said such horrible things about his Ana. A few hours later, Welch sent a file to Christian that stated that McCready News, Inc. was the owner of that rag and it just went into bankruptcy and was closed down. It was rumored that Gideon Cross had caused the bankruptcy and bought the company and tore it to shreds. Ana had been protected by her new man with the utmost speed. She didn't need Christian's protection anymore.

Gideon smiled as he sat behind his desk knowing that he had ruined a gossip rag that dared to call his woman a gold-digging whore. McCready News, Inc. was now under the banner of Cross Industries, Inc. and some of its components were transferred to CPI and put under the supervision of Ana. The hateful rag that had run that disgusting story was dismantled and was no longer in existence. Gideon would go after any media outlet that tried to hurt his Goddess.

Ana didn't understand the big deal about the gossip blip and ignored it. She knew why she left Seattle and why she was with Gideon. She was in love with him even though she couldn't confess that to him yet. She sat at her desk at CPI and remembered the night that Gideon had come home from Los Angeles after he said "I love you". She was at his penthouse as she promised and she had moved all her clothes and personal belongings into the penthouse. She left her furniture and made arrangements for a maid service to keep the apartment clean and ready for guests. He came into the penthouse and made a straight line to her. He picked her up and carried her to their bedroom and he made love to her. It had been soft and gentle. He worshiped and kissed every inch of her body. They had sex all night long, sometimes soft and other times boarding on savagery. He excited her and pushed her to come over and over again, and then asked her to do it one more time. He was a great lover and always thought about her pleasures.

The next morning he was happy to see that she had moved in with him. Her assistants made sure that her all her mail would be forwarded to her new address and they contacted her selected family and friends to inform them of her new home. Gideon kissed her soundly outside their closet. He pushed her against the closet door and fucked her up against it. Ana could only smile and enjoy the sexual adventure she was on with her new lover. She loved the fucking and the love making. She only wished that she could tell him that she loved him without fear of doom.

Kate Kavanagh smiled as she read the text message from Ana's PA. It was official that Ana was with Gideon Cross and she had moved in with him. She was given Ana's new address and asked not to share it with anyone. Of course, Kate knew who the "anyone" was. Christian. "You go, Ana. You got one damn gorgeous man there. Damn, he is a stud."

Christian stood with Elliot as they suffered through another charity event that their parents were hosting. Once again, Christian was alone and Elliot was escorting Kate. He decided he would make an appearance to make his mother happy then he would skip out. He didn't want to listen to music or watch lovers dance. He certainly didn't want to dodge the cougars that were ready to pounce on him or the debutants who seemed to be chasing him. There was no other woman for him except Ana. He didn't want to consider a relationship with anyone except for the contractual relationship that he had with his newest sub, Cassidy Reilly. He went back to his former life and to the darkness. He had no hope in having a normal life. He didn't want it unless it was with Ana.

"Has Ana contacted you?" Elliot asked as they enjoyed a drink together. They each nodded at known people who passed by or danced by. "She and Kate were on the phone for over an hour yesterday."

"Ana has made it very clear that she wants nothing to do with me." Christian stated drily.

"She's with Cross."

"I know." Christian turned back to the bartender and motioned for bourbon. "She hates my guts."

Elliot only nodded. "Why?"

"I hurt her." Christian answered as he bowed his head in shame. "I basically cheated on her."

"So Kate was correct. Wow, you are damn fool!" Elliot whispered. "She is undecided if she is coming back for the wedding."

Christian didn't reply. He knew that Elliot had proposed during Christmas and now they were planning on an autumn wedding in October. He surmised that Kate would ask Ana to be her Maid of Honor. "She's not in the wedding?" He finally asked.

"She refused because of you. She told Kate she would rather stay away so I could have my brother stand up for me. Ana told Kate to ask Mia to be her MOH."

"I guess Kate would like to castrate me."

"Affirmative." Elliot drily said. He finished his drink. "Why don't you go and get that girl back?"

"She is with Cross now. She doesn't need me." He looked down at his glass and swirled his bourbon. "I miss her."

"You need her. Hell, we all need her because you have become a bigger asshole than ever before." Elliot was being brutally honest and he didn't care if Christian punched his lights out. This needed to be said. "You have been impossible to be around."

"Excuse me for suffering from losing the only woman I have ever loved. I still love her and I want her back. I need her." Christian admitted as Elliot walked away for another drink.

The music began playing causing the crowd to return to the dance floor. He noticed a tall cold blonde heading toward him. She was dressed in black. He rolled his eyes. Elena Lincoln.

"Christian." She purred and attempted to kiss him. He put his hands up and backed her off. He didn't want her to touch him. She pouted like a child. "Darling, what's wrong? You look like a child who lost his favorite toy." She gave him a small smile. "Did your mousy little fiancé run off with Gideon Cross?"

"If you wish to keep your capped teeth in your botox filled face, I suggest that you shut the fuck up about Ana." He growled as he fisted his hands.

"Oh, Christian, I understand completely. You need release." She pulled out her phone and began to punch in numbers. "Let me call Dana. She would be perfect for you. I can have her delivered to you at Escala within the hour."

Christian slapped the phone out of her hand and it skirted across the floor. "Elena, fuck off." He turned around and walked away from the woman who ruined his life. He knew that she was the one who sent those pictures to Ana. He would ruin her in time. He wanted her to get comfortable then he would go in for the kill and leave her without her salons or money. He just wanted to make sure that his actions would cause the the most pain.

He found Elliot and told him that he was leaving. He had put in his appearance and made his contribution so it was time for him to return to his lonely cold apartment and an empty bed. The drive home was quiet. He sat in the back and thought about Ana. She was with a new man. She had moved on and she didn't seem to be looking back. Christian walked back into the past that he had forsaken for Ana by contracting a new sub. He had lost the best thing that ever happened to him and there was no reason to continue living in the normal world when he was never normal unless he was with Ana. "I still need you, Ana."

Ana was laughing as Gideon pulled her up from their bed and tickled her. She wrapped her arms about his neck and kissed him softly. "You taste good, Gideon." She said still laughing.

"Ana, you taste good and I know." He kissed her neck then captured her lips.

Ana could feel her body begin to warm and open for him. "Gideon, I want you so much."

"Goddess, already?" He smiled as he laid her back on the bed. "You are insatiable, Ana."

"For you, only for you." She said. She pulled his face closer to hers and her lips moved against his. She could feel his hard cock against her thighs. He was throbbing for her. She reached down and began to stroke him making him moan into her mouth. "I want to taste you, Gideon."

He smiled and rolled over to his back knowing what she wanted. He grabbed his cock and began to stroke slowly as she came to her knees beside him. Her eyes burned in passion. She licked her lips in anticipation of having his cock in her mouth. She used both hands to stroke him. Gideon closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of her soft hands on his shaft. She always felt like silk. She squeezed and pulled on him making him even harder if that was possible. Ana bent and took him in her warm, wet mouth. He watched as she swallowed him whole in amazement. He had learned that she didn't have a gag reflex and she could deep throat him. A feat very few women had ever done. He was one lucky man to find a woman who could take all ten inches of him. She was more that talented in her oral skills. After the first blowjob he ever received from her, he knew that no other woman could ever satisfy him like his Ana. He could feel his climax coming closer as he pressed his hips up and began to fuck her mouth.

"Unless you want me to come, you need to stop." He breathed. "Ana…oh Goddess…ahhhhh" He was coming and he couldn't stop it as she milked him with her mouth and hands. She swallowed his gift and kept sucking until he was drained and left exhausted flat on his back and breathing hard. She smiled at him biting that full lower lip. "You little vixen."

Ana had to giggle. She kissed up his body and lay upon his hard body. "You like?"

"Goddess, you never cease to amaze me." He wrapped his arms about her waist. "So, Ms. Steele, what you like to do for the rest of the day?"

"As much as I love the idea of staying in bed with you all day, I do have some work to take care of today. I'm afraid I have to go into the office for awhile." She frowned at the thought. She did want to spend her Saturday in their bed exploring and enjoying each other. "I should only be gone a few hours."

"Ahhh, the life of a hot shot VP and Editor." He laughed. He smiled as she rested her chin on her hands that were on his chest. She looked up at him. Those blue eyes of hers were so lovely and he wanted to get lost in them. "Is there a problem?"

"Not really a problem, just a needy author. Sometimes they are like children and need to be pampered." She replied. "Believe me, I would rather stay here and pamper you."

"I could go with you and you could pamper me in your office after your author leaves." His eyebrows rose up and down in playfulness.

"MMMM….that could be interesting. A little afternoon delight in my office." Her eyes were gleaming in sexual thoughts. "I might have to slip into some stockings and my garter."

Gideon closed his eyes and groaned. She knew his weaknesses. "You are going to destroy me, Ana. You know how I love your legs encased in silk stockings."

She traced her lips with her tongue. "We can fuck on my desk." Her voice was sultry. "I will be bent over it and you are behind me." Her voice lowered to a sexy whisper. "Do you want me, Gideon? Do you want me that way in my office?" She was goaded him and flaming his desires. Just the very thought made his cock begin to twitch.

"Goddess, I will take you anywhere at any time in any manner that you want." He said in a strained raspy voice. As always, she had him out of control. She kept him off center. How in the hell did she get to him so quickly and he was easily being led around by this little fireball? The strangest thing was: he liked it! He liked her playfulness. She was like no other woman. None of his other conquests had kept his attentions like she did, nor did they make him feel anything more than short-term pleasure. After the climax, he was ready for them to move on. Ana, on the other hand, he wanted to stay. He didn't want to know a day without her in it. He was obsessed with her, all of her, not just her smoking hot body, but her deep and intelligent mind and her happiness. He lived to make her happy.

"I better get dressed." She said sadly. She didn't want to leave his warmth. "The sooner I go, the sooner I will be bent over my desk." Her laughter carried over the air and pleased her lover. She left her safe haven and padded into the bathroom.

Gideon stayed in bed with his fingers laced together behind his head as he considered how different his life was ever since Anastasia Steele came into his life. Before Ana, he used women for his pleasures. There were no love affairs, just sex, meaningless sex with near strangers in a hotel room that he kept. He did not bring women to his penthouse. He did not sleep the full the night with any of those girls. They would either leave after they had sex or he did. Now, he cuddled and snuggled with Ana like a lovesick schoolboy. She made him want to play. She made him want to live. He had never taken Ana to that hotel room and he didn't want to.

Ana watched her man as he was deep in thought. She was amazed that she was his and he was hers. He was so handsome. Everything about him was sexy, from the head of long wavy black hair to the tip of his feet. Her eyes glazed over him taking in his nude body. Even when he was at rest, his soften cock was still bigger than the average man at full erection. Lucky Girl!

"Enjoying yourself, Ana?" He asked catching her gazing at his nakedness.

"Always my darling when staring at your charms." She said flippantly.

He chuckled lightly. "My charms?" He asked teasingly.

Ana took his cock into her hands. "Your charms, Mr. Cross are many and very large." Her eyes danced in merriment. "And, I would like to experience them some more, but I have to get dressed."

She planted a kiss on the bulbous tip of his cock promising more at a later time. She blew him a kiss then went into their closet to dress.

Gideon shook his head and laughed. With one kiss and his cock starts to react. He knew that they didn't have time to play and that he needed to leave their bed if he wanted to give her some office loving. He was so damn happy that he didn't know what to do with himself.

Ana walked into her office wearing her signature black pencil skirt and a bold red silk blouse that clung to her curves. She smiled knowing that Gideon was behind her fantasizing about her black lace garter and her black silk stockings. She went to her desk and sat down putting her feet up and showing off her black Louboutins. "I see that you like the view." She declared with a sexy smile that made his body react.

He let his fingers glide over her calf to her thigh. "Always, Goddess. It is the highlight of my day and the subject of my dreams." He leaned over and kissed her sweetly. "When is this author supposed to be here?"

"Now." She said flatly hating to be kept waiting especially when she had plans. "If he blows this off he will be out of here." As she said that, a knock came at her door and she removed her legs from her desk and stood as it opened to reveal a tall, handsome man. Douglas Rhines smiled as he approached his editor's desk with eyes only for Ana. He didn't see Gideon standing off to the side.

"Ms. Steele, I want to thank you for meeting me on a Saturday. I do apologize if I have inconvenienced you in any way." He wiped away his blonde curls that fell into his eyes. His soft green eyes scanned over his editor with want.

"Yes, this is an inconvenience for me; however, I need to know why you are so behind in your chapters." She held up contract that he signed. "You do have deadlines. Mr. Rhines, this is a business and if you cannot deliver the goods that we have contracted you to do, then I have no other choice but to terminate your contract and sue you for the money that has been advanced…with interest." She knew was being cold, but this was a business and she could not afford a lazy writer. Her reputation was on the line.

"Ms. Steele, I do apologize. I have a serious case of writer's block. I know that you are not interested in personal matters, but my wife has left me and she was always my muse."

Ana held up her hand not wanting to hear more. "I am sorry for your marriage, but I am only interested in your book. I want the chapters by the end of next week or as I said, I will terminate your contract with CPI." She stood up and handed him a copy of the contract. "It is among my rights as your publisher to take this action if I wish. However, I do believe in supporting my authors, so I took the liberty of booking you into the Ritz for the rest of the weekend for some relaxation. I do expect you to take advantage of this opportunity to refresh your gifts."

Rhines looked down at the papers in his hands and back to the young woman who held his career in her little palms. He couldn't believe that this girl who was young enough to be his daughter welded so much power. "I will have the chapters to you by the end of the week, if not before."

Ana never smiled. "That's what I want to hear and that's what I want to see by Friday."

Yes, Ms. Steele." Rhines said.

"You may leave now, Mr. Rhines…and I will be checking in with you during the week."

Gideon enjoyed watching his woman weld her power. She wasn't affected by the writer's charms or his sad story. Maybe, he should have offered her a job at Cross Industries. She was a natural born business person. He smiled at her when she looked over to him. He was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his massive chest and his ankles were crossed. He pushed himself off the wall and approached her like he was a stalking cat. "Anastasia, I believe you made promises about a certain desk."

She leaned back in her chair teasing him. "I did?" She questioned innocently. "Can you enlighten me?"

He sat on the edge of her desk. "If I remember correctly, you are bent over this desk and I am taking you from behind." He took all of her in. Her young body was tight and delicious. He knew every inch of her and knew what touch that sent her to the stars. "I could lock the door."

Ana bit her lower lip. "I think that would be wise." She watched him as he moved gracefully across the room to lock the door. She did like to watch him. He was male perfection in every way. She wanted to touch him, to lick his body, and kiss every ridge of muscle on his torso. She stood when he came back to her and then he moved her in front of him. His large hand was on her back and he pushed her forward until her hands supported her leaning body over her desk.

She closed her eyes as his hands went under her skirt and pulled down her panties with one swift movement. She stepped out of them. His fingers sunk into her warm folds stroking her until his hand was covered with her juices. She heard him sucking on his fingers and then the familiar sound of his zipper coming down. Gideon grunted as he entered her and she cried out as he pushed deeper into body. She was lost as he began to move frantically. He was hard. His thrusts were deep and fast. This wasn't just making love, this was fucking also. He was pushing her to take more and more. He reached in front of her and began to pinch her clit. "Come for me, Ana." He growled. "Now, Ana…I need it now."

She threw back her head and yelled her release. Her climax was so fast and so hard. She couldn't believe how well he could play her body. "Oh, Gideon…Gideon." She began to move her hips against him. She knew he would bring her again.

Gideon grabbed her hips and pulled her back onto his cock. One hand went to her right breast and he squeezed it lightly. The pressure was delicious and it felt so good. "Goddess, you are so tight. Squeeze me, Goddess…squeeze this cock of yours…you know it's yours…only yours." He whispered into her ear. She moaned and gripped her desk tightly as he began to pound away once more. She was so close again; he could feel her vagina walls clamp down on his thrusting cock and the warmth of her juices flowing over the shaft. She was so fucking hot. "Again, Ana…come again on me." He clinched his teeth. He wanted to go as deep as he could. He had to possess every inch of her. "Goddess…now." He felt his own climax racing toward him. He was gone and he came hard into her, filling her with his hot seed with spurt after spurt. He growled as one last spurt left him exhausted and pinning her to her desk.

"That was awesome." Ana breathed.

"Baby, that was great." He noticed how stiff Ana came when he called her baby. She wiggled to get away from him. He backed off, leaving her so she could get off the desk. She found her panties and pulled them up quickly. She looked angry. "Ana?"

Ana's lips were quivering. "Don't ever call me Baby ever again!" She stressed angrily and with her blue eyes narrowed. "Never, ever!"

Gideon never saw his goddess so angry. She was usually easy going and quick to smile and laugh. He stood there with his pants around his ankles. "Ana?" He asked confused. Her fists were balled at her side and she stared at him.

"Never, Gideon. Do you understand?" She didn't wait for him to answer as she grabbed her purse and ran out of her office. Gideon had to pull himself together before he could chase after her. By the time, he got himself situated and he stepped into the hallway she was entering the elevator and the doors closed.

"Son of a bitch!" He yelled. He just knew this had something to do with Grey. Did that bastard call her baby? He then remembered how hard he had fucked her and he had caught a glimpse of her bruised buttocks where he had pounded into her. He had hurt her and she didn't say anything. "Fuck me, he hurt her."

Gideon arrived at his penthouse to find it empty. Ana did not return to their home. When she left her office she had taken a cab leaving him with their car and driver. He stood in the middle of the living room trying to figure out where his woman was. Her apartment! It dawned on him; she would go back to her apartment. He was about to race out of the penthouse to gather his wayward woman, but he decided to let her cool down and come back on her own. She needed time before they could talk. It was time for her to tell Gideon why she broke up with Grey.

Ana stopped by her apartment for just a few moments to make sure everything was in order. She then found herself walking around her neighborhood until she found the little coffeehouse that she enjoyed so much when she first came to New York. She sat in the corner enjoying her latte and people watching. She didn't want her thoughts to go back to Seattle, but they did. She was back in Escala with Christian. She had images of him smiling, laughing, frowning, and being sad. Her least favorite was him being mad. The Red Room came into view. She could see herself tied up to the cross and to the whipping bench. She could almost feel the cool silk of the bed against her skin as she was tethered to the bedposts. She remembered the nights of passion and lovemaking with Christian but she also remembered the pain. He had hurt her a few times in the Red Room, the first time had been with a belt and she left him. The second time was with the flogger when he went too far one evening and she had to safeword. The third time, he was mad at her for going out with work friends and not coming home until the wee hours of the morning and he took her into the Red Room and restrained her from the grid that went across the ceiling. She had to stand on her toes or just hang. He blindfolded her then denied her climax over and over again until she was crying. He was cruel that night. She had to once again safeword, and he stopped but he was so cold and unfeeling leaving her in sobs in the room as he walked away. She should have left him that night and maybe the pain of his trip to the club to rent a sub would have never happened because she wouldn't have known. Instead, she had moved out of their bedroom and into a guest room until he apologized. That was the last time she would go into the playroom with him. She didn't feel safe with him in there anymore.

He called her baby! That was the one memory that hurt the most. He called her baby and at times treated her like she was a child. Baby. At times it was an endearment and at other times it seemed like a curse of being weak and helpless. Now she was upset at herself for enjoying Gideon when he got so rough. She saw her bottom in the bathroom mirror at her apartment. She was bruised across the bottom of her buttocks. He was pounding so hard into her that his hips had caused this bruising. Then, he called her baby! He never called her baby. When she heard it she was instantly filled with anger, but it wasn't toward Gideon, but toward Christian. He was still messing with her mind. He was still inside her. She knew that she loved Gideon, but Christian was still hurting her. He had broken her heart, misused her trust, and in her mind, cheated on her. The pain was still there, not as hot as it had burned but it was still there. Gideon had wiped much of it away. She drank her latte and stared at her phone that she had placed on the table before her.

She sat for another hour then decided to call Gideon. He answered with a quiet and controlled voice.

"I'm sorry, Gideon." She said. Her eyes were full of tears. She had hurt this glorious sweet man. She didn't deserve him.

"I am too, Goddess. I didn't mean to hurt you. Come home, my love."

"I will get a cab."

"I will come and get you, honey." He closed his eyes thankful that she wanted to come back. "Are you at your apartment?"

"I am the coffeehouse around the corner from my apartment." She sniffed. "Gideon, we need to talk. I need to tell you things…and you might not want me afterwards."

"Ana, I will always want you." His deep voice declared. He couldn't lose her. He needed her in his life. He couldn't live without her. She made him happy and with her he felt love for the first time in his life. "Just stay there and I will be with you in a just a few minutes. Ana, I do love you."

"I know that you do." She still couldn't say those words to him. She had said them to Christian and where did that get her. She was left broken and betrayed. "I will be here waiting for you."