Dear Professor Dumbledore.
Regarding the Get Well Card I received from you asking me to recount why exactly I was admitted to the hospital wing last Thursday.
I have a rather disturbing account to tell you of.
You see this past Thursday, I was walking along the third floor, minding my own business, inspecting. When the resident poltergeist came to me and told me of a major infraction upon the integrity of a main support beam for a room near by. Taking him on his word (which I see to be quite foolish now) I investigated immediately. Running after him down the corridor he led me to a locked door, after his insisting that the infraction was quite severe, I decided to unlock it myself instead of requesting the keys from the caretaker, mister Filch. You can imagine my surprise when upon opening the door, when instead of the infract support beam I was expecting, I was met with a very big, hungry looking Cerberus.
Now I am sure you can understand why I fainted and was taken to the hospital wing by the most kind Professor Flitwick, who was luckily happened to be walking by some time later.
And that is why I stayed in the hospital wing until this morning when I was released by the expert nurse, Madame Pomfrey.
There are quite a few things I would like to discuss about the large three headed dog I found in that room, but first and foremost is the health hazard it is posing with the immense amount of drool I saw pooling at its feet, not to mention all of the children who have dog allergies in the school. I will need a blue print of the dogs room to ensure none of the dander can escape, as well as a interview with the dogs caretaker so I can speak with him about the dogs living space and how he needs to keep it clean.
Thank you sincerely for the concern and the card.
Cygnus Stixrood, Chief Centennial Inspector, Department For Permits And Filing.