Chapter Eleven: Cross vs. Grey

Ana sat her desk at CPI trying to read through a few manuscripts. Her mind kept going back to the evening when she told Gideon about Christian and their life together. Gideon took it well that she liked hard fucks and he understood that she didn't want to be called Baby anymore. Her only problem was that Gideon would not disclose why he had night terrors but wanted to know about her nightmares. She didn't want to tell him that she dreamed of Christian flogging her while she is tied up and at times woke up wet and ready to fuck. She couldn't believe that she was having sex dreams about her ex-fiancé. Actually, it pissed her off that Christian Grey was still in her head. She wondered if she would be able to rid herself of his memory. Gideon was different in many ways from Christian. For one, she could touch Gideon without fear of being rejected. Gideon didn't have a problem talking to her and he didn't have to manipulate or dominate her. In bed, Gideon liked to be in control which she enjoyed. She always felt safe with Gideon, and she had to admit that there were times she felt in danger with Christian, especially if he was angry or frustrated and he wanted to go into the Playroom. However, she did wonder about Gideon's secret. What would cause him to have night terrors so bad that he had to take medication? Was this the reason why he wouldn't sleep with women throughout the night? She wondered if his dreams were violent and he acted them out in his sleep. Maybe this is why he was medicated at night. She only witnessed one nightmare but she was able to wake him up before it got too bad. He only told someone to "stop" and that "it hurt". She hoped that someday Gideon would trust her enough to give her the complete truth.

Both men were super handsome and could be very sweet and kind, but Ana was forgetting Grey a little bit more every day as Gideon filled her thoughts at all times. She found herself fantasizing about Gideon during the day when she should be working and fought the urge to go to the Crossfire Building and march into his office and request his sexual attentions. She knew he would gladly cancel any and all meetings to accommodate her needs and desires.

She sat back in her chair and closed her eyes. She was about to slip into another naughty sex dream about her current lover when her office phone rang.

"Steele." She said shortly.

"Ana? This is Christian Grey."

She rolled her eyes. Like I need you to introduce yourself. I know your voice better than I know my own. She covered the phone's mouthpiece and cleared her voice. "Hello Mr. Grey, what can I do for your today?"

Christian could think of few things she could do for him. One of them was for her to get naked and let him have his way with her. Her sweet voice already had him painfully hard. "I just wanted to say hello and see how you are doing?"

"That is kind of you, Mr. Grey, but I am extremely busy at the moment."

"I am in town and I would like to take your out for dinner this evening." He asked in a very gentlemanly manner.

"I have plans for this evening.' She said shooting him down.

"How about lunch? Just a friendly lunch."

"We do not have friendly lunches, Christian. The last time we lunched you wanted to fuck me on the table. I think it is best for us to stay away from each other."

"Baby, I miss you so much. Please come home to me."

"Mr. Grey, I am not your baby and no, I will not be returning to Seattle. I am happy here in New York City. I have a great job that pays very well and I have friends that I enjoy spending time with. Why would I return to Seattle and be kept as your prisoner? We are through, Christian. It would be best for us both if you left me alone and returned to Seattle."

"He's not right for you." Christian said lowly.

"I am assuming that you are speaking about Gideon."

"He can't love you like I do. I want to marry you and have a life with you. Cross will not offer marriage."

Ana began to laugh. "He already has, Christian. All I have to do is say yes."

"Then why haven't you."

"Because I want it to be special when I accept his proposal. I will say yes when I want to say yes." She smiled to herself knowing that Christian was about to go thermonuclear. "Good bye , Christian."

Ana hung up on her former fiancé then quickly called her future fiancé. She smiled when she heard his voice say her name. She asked him for a lunch meeting and they agreed to meet at Ludlow's at one o'clock.

Gideon watched as the woman he was head over heels in love with walked toward and greeted him with a kiss that promised a night of heated passion. His big arms went around her and she giggled as he drew her inside his embrace.

"I've missed you, Goddess."

She reached up and accepted his kiss even though they were in public. She hoped that someone was snapping their picture. She wanted the world to know that they belonged to each other. "I missed you also and I wish I had a place to show you." She said suggestively. Her hand traced over his deep chest down to his taunt ridged stomach. She stopped when she got to his belt. He grabbed her hand and brought it up to his lips. "Gideon, I want to tell your something that you want to know about."

Gideon looked around the restaurant. He saw a quiet table in the back. He took her hand and led her back there even though their escort wanted them to sit somewhere else. Gideon waved the person away and kept walking. He helped Ana into a chair then sat next to her. "What do you want to tell me?"

Ana swallowed hard. "The dreams that I have are about Christian taking me into his Playroom and beating me with a cane. I wake up screaming because I can feel the canes hitting me. Lately, he speaks in my dreams, telling me that he is going to kill you if I sleep you with again." She took a deep breath. "He called me today and wants me back. He's in New York." She looked up at her dark Caesar and then back down to her folded hands. "I also wanted you to know that I do trust you completely and that I do love you."

"Ana." He breathed. Then a smile spread across his handsome face. His blue eyes twinkled with joy. "Ana, I want you so much. Come with me to the Penthouse."

"Gideon, please promise me one thing. Don't underestimate Grey. He can be dangerous and he won't hesitate to order things…I mean he could have you killed."

"Goddess, I didn't get rich by being afraid. I can be ruthless also." He held her hand. "He can't hurt me, nor can he hurt you."

"I know that you don't want to tell me about your nightmares, but I hope someday you will…when you trust me more." She covered his hand with her other hand. "Now, let's eat something then go back to the penthouse for a little desert."

Ana was in heaven. She lay in Gideon's arms and smiled like a Cheshire cat. She cuddled into his warmth and security. "That my love was fantastic." She declared with a heavy sigh. She was content and satisfied. "It just gets better and better."

Gideon smiled pleased that she received such pleasure from his body. He could think of a thousand ways to make her come and he couldn't wait to do just that. "It was my complete pleasure to make you happy."

"Gideon, when you are ready to ask…the answer will be yes." She whispered to him as she pushed his dark strands of hair from his face. She loved looking at his swarthy face. "I want you so much."

Gideon growled as he rolled her over onto her back. He pinned her arms close to her body cocooning her with his own body. She felt secure under him. "Do you want me to fuck you or make love to you?"

Ana kissed him hard. "Both." She answered against his lips. "I have the rest of the afternoon to give to you, Mr. Cross."

"Mmmmm, Miss Steele, you are going to corrupt me by keeping me from my work." He kissed down the side of her throat. She tasted so good and her natural smell was addicting. "But, I love being corrupted by you."

Ana could feel his massive erection against her body. She pushed her hips into his. His hands were cupping her breasts and playing with her nipples. She moaned in delight as he made her body begin to burn with desire and want. Ana closed her eyes when his mouth captured one peak and began to suck. "Oh, Gideon." She mewed. She felt one of his hands between her legs making her soft and wet. She knew this fuck would be hard. He was already erect and throbbing. He kissed down her body and began to suck on her clit and the delicate folds of her body. He wanted her to come over and over again. She was so tight that he wanted her well lubricated to accept his meaty member. He groaned as he licked and sucked her wet pussy tasting her sweet juices. He kept eating her making her come over and over again. She felt faint and the room was spinning. "Oh..MY…God…Gideon! Please, honey…please."

He lifted his dark head and looked up at her with his stormy blue eyes. "Come for me, Goddess." His fingers entered her sweet tight pussy. Her hips began to move and grind against his groin. "Yes, my little Goddess…come for me…I can feel your pussy sucking on my fingers. You are so wonderful…oh..mmmmm…Ana…I love you. I love how you feel under me. I love your body. I love you."

"Gideon, never let me go."

~xxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxx~

Christian couldn't believe that she hung up on him. He stared at his cell phone for a few moments as he contemplated calling her again. He clicked it off and threw the phone on the hotel desk. She belonged to Cross! He could hear it in her voice. He had lost her forever.

Christian turned to alcohol to soothe his broken heart and defeated ego. She was the first woman to deny him his pleasures and wants. After drinking over half a bottle of bourbon he sat at his laptop and read through the Google alerts about the love of his life. The newest came with a photograph of Ana and Gideon kissing and her hands were all over the man. He looked over her beautiful face. He recognized that look that she bestowed upon Cross. Her eyes were dreamy and soft and her lips were parted for a kiss. His eyes read the caption but he had to reread it because his eyesight was blurry from the drink.

Gideon Cross and his newest girlfriend were seen at Ludlow's today enjoying more than the food. The lovely Anastasia Steele is said to be the one and wedding bells are soon to be peeling for the happy couple. Looks like Cross can be crossed off the most eligible bachelor list!

FUCK! Christian pounded the desk with his fists. She can't marry Cross. She couldn't. She wouldn't. She loves me. She has always loved me. Yeah…asshole..loved…past tense. You fucked it up. She has a new life now. Look at her. She is in love! You only did this to yourself. She wanted you and you treated her like shit and threw her away because of your stupid fears! You use your past to excuse your bad behavior and to keep others from knowing you in any real sense because you don't feel worthy. You have done it with your family, your employees, those who wanted to be friends, the subs, and now Ana. You drove them away.

I don't love. I don't do relationships. She knew this. I am too fucked up! Yeah, you're fucked up because you choose to be. You like being the victim! I am not a victim! I am Christian Grey! I don't do victim! You play the victim… you always have. It's your thing. You like that people fear you and that you can do whatever you what because you can blame it on your mother. It's all her fault….Yeah…it's the bitch's fault that I am fucked up…she didn't want me…she didn't stop…Oh Boo Hoo…poor baby…do you think you are the only one who has lived through such horrors. What about the horrors that you have inflicted on others…on Ana? You knew she wasn't in the lifestyle yet you pursued her. You played with her heart! She gave you everything and yet that wasn't enough! She ran when you hurt her. She did what she had to do to save herself. If she stayed you would have turned her into another Leila! You are a fucktard!

Christian didn't bother drinking from a glass. He was jugging the bourbon from the decanter. His heart was shattered. He heard his phone ringing but he ignored it. He ignored everything but the pain that raced through his veins. He had to get her back. He knew that he loved her. He had to have her in his life. She made his life right. He took another drink and tried to stand but he sunk to his knees. He had destroyed himself when he hurt the love of his life.

~xxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxx~

A man searched through hundreds of diamonds searching for the perfectly cut diamond for his design. This ring had to be perfect. The buyer intensely insisted that nothing but the most perfect diamond would do for his intended purposes. The man kept searching, and searching knowing that his deadline was approaching. The buyer would not be happy if he failed. This diamond and the ring itself had to be a one of kind, perfect, yet simple ring. The man closed his eyes to give them a rest. He had been working for days. He was about to give up when a stone caught his eye. It was a three carat, princess cut diamond without any flaws. It was perfect. He laughed in exhaustion and joy. The ring could now be made since its diamond had been found.

~xxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxx

Spring went into Summer and Gideon and Ana were closer than ever. They went to work, had lunches together, went back to their work places and then went home together. Most of their evenings were spent making love and fucking hard. Ana felt she the best of both worlds of vanilla and a little of the darker shades of love. She was amazed at Gideon's depth of knowledge on how to make her come. He once told her that he knew a thousand ways to make her come and she was pretty sure that they were half way there.

She was trying on bathing suits at Macy's preparing for a little vacation with Gideon to the Bahamas. She stepped out of the dressing room to use the full length mirror. She was in a designer bathing suit that cost more than her first car. She forgot the designer's name, but she adored this little bikini that showed off her curves. It was a French cut bikini in violet-blue. She turned every which way to get the best views. She reached up and pulled the hair tie to release her pony-tail and let her brunette hair flow over her shoulders. She looked amazing in this suit. She knew that Gideon would be over the moon for this little number. She looked to the sales lady who was smiling wide knowing that they had found the perfect suit. "I will take this one and I would like it also in pink, red, and the lily print that I saw."

"Very good choices, Miss Steele. I will have them sent to your address. Can I interest you in some cover-ups and sundresses?"

"Of course, I am sure Mr. Cross has called you already and told you what I need." She had to laugh.

The sales lady joined in the laughter. "Of course, he did." She looked over the pretty young lady that Gideon Cross had called the jewel of his life and demanded that the staff treat her like a Queen. All her purchases were to be put on his expense account and the sky was the limit. She could have anything she wanted. "I have taken the liberty to pull some of the most beautiful dresses for your consideration."

"Thank you, Ms. Jenkins. I do appreciate your help." She took another look at her reflection in the mirror. She stood up straight and turned to the side to see that her stomach was flat and ripped with muscles from her work-outs at Crosstrainers. She was about to walk into the dressing room when she saw a familiar face in the mirror. She froze like a statue when she saw Christian Grey staring at her with lustful eyes. She turned around and looked at him. He was leaning against a pillar and smiling at her. She hadn't seen or heard from him since that last phone call when he professed his love once again and told her that Gideon wasn't right for her. Ana backed away from him and ran into the dressing room. She pulled the suit off and quickly dressed in her own clothes. She stepped out of the dressing room to met Mrs. Jenkins with a rack of clothes. "Mrs. Jenkins, I just received an important phone call and I have to leave. Can you send all these clothes to my home? I trust your taste and I am sure I will be happy with them."

"Of course, Miss Steele and if you don't like something, it can be sent back with no problems."

"Thank you, Mrs. Jenkins." Ana smiled and nodded at the woman then stepped back into the store to where Christian was waiting for her. She noticed that he seemed heavier, especially around the face and he looked tired but he still looked like the Greek God she once thought he was.

"Anastasia." He said with his smirk. He pushed away from the pillar and approached her slowly. He bent down and kissed her cheek. "You look great in that bathing suit."

"Uh… Thank you, Christian. Why are you here?"

"I heard that you were and I wanted to see you." He looked down at her and he still felt the pull towards her. He still wanted her. He loved her. He spied her hands and was very pleased not to see an engagement ring. "Are you still with Cross?"

"I am sure that you know that I am. Don't play stupid, Christian, it doesn't sit well with you."

"Touche', Miss Steele." He drawled. "I am going for a late lunch; would you like to join me?"

Ana felt trapped. Gideon was out of town and she was sure that Christian already knew that. "I don't think that would be a good idea, Mr. Grey. I am sure you already have a place in mind and of course, I am sure you have people in place to take the appropriate pictures that would cause problems between Gideon and me." She crossed her arms over her chest making him smile even more.

"You are a suspicious little thing."

"No, Christian, I know how your mind works." She started to walk away, and then stopped and turned to face him. "Give me your phone, Christian."

"Excuse me?"

"If you want to have lunch with me, give me your phone." She held her hand out and waited for him to hand it over. "Thank you." She quickly used it and called Taylor that she knew was either close by or waiting in the car for them. He answered quickly. "Hello, Taylor, this is Ana. Thank you, I am fine. I am just calling to tell you that Christian will not need you for a few hours and will be under my security team. I also need you to call whatever restaurant that he made reservations at and cancel them. Oh, yes, Taylor, don't bother trying to track his phone, because it will be switched off after this conversation. No, Taylor, I am not kidnapping Mr. Grey…I am taking him to lunch on my terms and not his. Have a good day, Jason." She hung up and turned off the phone. She smiled as she dropped it into her purse. She made a motion in the air with her hand which brought two men instantly to her side. "Will you please search Mr. Grey for any other phones or contraband?" She only smiled at him as he smirked. Their eyes were connected as he was searched and another phone was found. She only shook her head at him. "Destroy the phone, and have my car brought around. We are going to lunch at Arnie's in a private room. Make the reservation, please."

"Yes, ma'm…I mean Miss Ana." The larger of her two guards said. He motioned for the other guard to escort Ana and her guest to the waiting car.

When they were in her Bentley and headed to lunch Christian turned to her. "You have learned to accept security quite well."

"Yes, I have, of course, these men were chosen by me and they answer to me." She declared. She wanted him to know that Gideon did not control every aspect of her life, that her lover trusted her completely. "So, why are you in New York?"

"Business…and you. I will always come to New York in hopes to see you." His voice was soft. "You do look wonderful. You take my breath away every time I see a picture of you." She thanked him. His eyes wandered over her body especially when she crossed her legs. She wore a beautiful tan colored shift dress with nude thigh highs and her caramel colored five-inch Jimmy Choos. "I always loved your legs."

"Christian, please keep your thoughts about my body to yourself. I agreed to this lunch out of morbid curiosity; please do not make me regret it."

"Are you and Cross getting married?"

"We are discussing."

"Children?"

She looked at him with her cool blue eyes. "Yes, we want to have a family someday."

"I will give you babies, if you want. I will give you anything, Ana, just come home with me. Everyone misses you. Kate is lost without you and she really wants you to be her Maid of Honor."

"I have already explained this to Kate. I do not want to be in the wedding. I told her that Gideon and I will attend, but I will not be in the wedding party." She looked ahead and saw that they were close to the restaurant.

Christian stared ahead. That argument didn't work. Maybe, it was time to let go. Flynn kept telling him to let Ana go and be grateful for the time that they did have together. "You have moved on."

It was more of an accusation. Ana nodded agreement. She noticed the sadness in his eyes. "Yes, Christian and I wish you would do it also. You can find someone else."

"Ana, there will be no one else but you." He whispered. He knew there could never be anyone else. He didn't want another woman unless she was under contract and restrained. He couldn't stand if another woman besides Ana touched him. "I've gone back."

"I know." She admitted sadly.

They stared at each other. The pain between them was still raw but so was the attraction on Christian's side. "Ana, I can't…not without you."

One little part of heart cried out for him. He was such a lost boy, but she was not his cure-all. She didn't want that responsibility. If he wanted a happy life with someone in it, he had to make it happened. His happiness rested on his shoulders. "I guess if the lifestyle makes you happy, then I guess that is where you should be."

"That's it, Ana…I'm not happy but it's all that I know. I don't know any other way."

"Yes, you do, Christian. What we had was good when it was good." She declared. "You need someone who is in the lifestyle that likes what you do but needs just a little bit more. Maybe you should revisit some of your former subs." She couldn't believe that she was saying this to the man who had been her first love and lover. Ana knew she was truly in love with Gideon if she could let Christian go so completely. "You are a good man, Christian and you do have a heart. Don't let yourself get closed off again." She patted his hand as the car rolled to a stop and her driver jumped out to open her door. She walked into the restaurant with the confidence of a business woman on a mission. She chatted charmingly with the owner who was waiting to greet her and show them to their table. Being the love interest of Gideon Cross laid Manhattan at her feet.

After they were seated Ana turned to Christian. "Would you like to choose the wine?"

"Sure." He said quietly. He knew that he had lost her and it was now just accepting it and trying to move on with his own pitiful life. After he gave the wine order he looked at Ana. "This will be the last time I come to New York to see you. I'm sure I will have to come for business, but I won't be bothering you anymore."

She only nodded. There were no words to console him. This was what she wanted. She was with Gideon and her future was with her Caesar. "I wish you all the best, Christian, I really do."

"I never had sex with the sub." He declared wanting to clear the air once and for all.

"It was still cheating because of the sexual undertones." She replied. "Christian, just let it go. We are not right for each other."

"Cross isn't right for you either. He will hurt you sooner or later. Believe me, he's not what he seems, you just don't know him."

She cleared her voice. "I know Gideon Cross better than I ever knew you. I know about his dreams, his wants and needs, and we want the same thing. We want a future together." She lowered her voice. "I get it that he is ruthless in business, but so are you. He is good to me, and he doesn't have to beat my ass to fuck me. Now drop it, Christian, or I will stand up and walk out of here." Her blue eyes turned ice cold as she defended the man that she adored. Christian backed down and Ana visibly relaxed. "I gather that Grace and Carrick are doing well…"

Their lunch ended with a casual acquaintance feel to it. There was no spark of sexual fire but there was no anger. Christian left New York that afternoon for Seattle knowing he had lost the love of his life forever. This was the final goodbye and her life would be with Gideon Cross in New York City. For the first time in many years, Christian cried real tears of a broken heart.