Chapter 3

Fight or Flight

Out of the frying pan and into the fire - the only phrase that Shepard could think of to describe her morning. It had started quietly enough, pretty much exactly like every other morning she'd endured during her incarceration by the Alliance. She'd woken up, eaten breakfast, checked that her extranet communications were still blocked, cursed the fact that they were and watched James' morning pull-up routine. He'd set a new record, one hundred and eighty two pull-ups, and she'd been mightily impressed by the show but the similarities ended there. Vega had left to meet with Admiral Anderson and returned an hour later to escort her to an emergency session of the Defence Committee, she'd ran into Major Alenko and found that all she could do was glare at him. Asshole. And as the cherry upon this particularly crappy sundae, the Reapers had arrived. Awesome! At least it meant that she finally got to shoot something. Six months without her guns, she was beginning to feel a little naked without one but now a bunch of Batarian-Reaper things were dead by her hand. She could get used to freedom.

Now she stood in the Normandy's cargo bay, her old dog-tags in her hand and a sense that she had about two seconds to make heads and tails of everything that had just happened before she had to snap to it. Reinstated. Her rank, her command and her ship had all been returned. Granted, it'd taken an invasion to do it but the details didn't matter - she had a mission to get done. Every instinct told her to stay and fight with Anderson but she knew that one woman wouldn't even make a scratch. They needed back-up and they needed it fast.

"We're leaving," she announced to the two men in the cargo bay with her, "Anderson ordered us to the Citadel so that's where we're headed."

"Bullshit!" Came the response from a familiar voice and she spun around to see Vega storming toward her, his eyes flaring with anger, "No way would he do that."

"He just did, Vega," she logged herself in to ones of the armoury consoles, time to pick out some equipment, "We're going and that's that."

"Yeah, well, you can drop me off at the next fuel depot because I'm not leaving." God, he could be stubborn. Normally she found his stubbornness endearing but not this time. They didn't have time to stand there squabbling with each other like school children, not when the fate of their home world was at stake.

"Can it, Lieutenant," she jabbed him hard on the chest with her finger, "Don't you think I'd rather stay and fight those bastards?" She balled her fists at her side to keep herself grounded, she couldn't lose her temper within five minutes of being reinstated, that was a little too soon, even by her standards. "You don't wanna go, we all hear that loud and clear but this isn't a democracy. This is my ship, we play by my rules or we don't play at all." It amazed her that even with six months imprisonment under her belt, she slipped back into the role of Commander as though she'd never missed a step. "You want out, you can catch a ride back from the Citadel. Until then, your ass is mine until I say otherwise. Understand?" The sight of him walking away was all the response she got.

"A little harsh, don't you think?" Kaidan chimed in from his workbench, "It's his home, it's not easy to watch it burn."

"Oh, I don't know, Major." Shepard spun around on the spot and turned her ire on her former flame, "What do you think, Major?" She was aware that he now outranked her but technically not while aboard her ship, a loophole that semi-excused her borderline insubordination. "Should I go apologise, Major?" She shook her head and stepped back toward her console. "I stop a rogue spectre, kill a fucking Reaper and get Geth duty. I save the galaxy from the Collectors, stop the Reapers again and get thrown in prison for my troubles. You come along for the ride, lose a colony, train a few biotic kids and get promoted not just once but twice. I see the logic in there, sure." Her eyes scanned over the console, "Oh yeah, that's right, you're also good at sending bullshit emails. How could I forget that?!" Sure that he'd rip her a new one, she stood in silence for a few moments but he said nothing, maybe he thought she just needed to vent or maybe her words had struck a nerve, who knew. It was at that moment that she realised that James hadn't left the bay after all. Oops.

"Commander!" Joker's voice cut through her thoughts just as she was about to order Vega to forget everything he'd just heard. "Emergency transmission for you from Admiral Hackett."

"Patch it through, Joker," she sighed and straightened up in front of her console. Yet another change of plans. Instead of heading straight for the Citadel, they'd be heading to Mars first. Something about the Prothean archives, Liara T'Soni and the only way to defeat the Reapers. With a salute, Hackett signed off and Shepard returned to her thoughts for a moment or two. Mars. She'd never actually been there before. Sure, she knew what the discovery of the archives there had done for Humanity. Finding the Prothean technology there had jumped their technology forward two centuries, led to the activation of the Charon relay and the was the basis on which most of their systems worked. All of that was irrelevant, past, what mattered was the present - they had to find Liara and her intel. Time to leave.

"Joker," she called, "Set a course for the Mars archives, Hackett wants us to investigate before the system is lost."

"Mars?" Joker seemed as puzzled by the change of plans as she had been moments ago, "Aye aye, Commander."

Shepard lifted the her armoured chest plate and briefly ran her hand over the N7 insignia. For the past six months, she thought she'd never have the chance to strap into her armour again but now? Here it was. "You two," she addressed the two men who still hadn't left the cargo bay, "Grab your gear, suit up. We have to get that intel. Vega, prep that damn shuttle. I want it ready when Joker brings us into orbit. No delays and no excuses. Alenko, just make sure you're ready to go." With the orders doled out, Johanna disappeared into the elevator with nothing more than a scowl to give either of them.

As James ran through the shuttle checklist, he found himself conflicted. Should he be angry about the fact that she'd torn him a new one, laughing at the fact that Alenko got it worse, or totally turned on by the woman who'd just snapped back into her role as the Alliance's ruthless go-to soldier without as much as a second thought? He knew it was mostly a front, he'd gotten to know her throughout their time together and she wasn't always crazy, she had her moments of sanity, of clarity and, dare he say it, of sensitivity. Today just wasn't one of those days. Rightly so. She may not be from Earth but he knew she wanted to stay and fight. Damn orders. As he stepped out of the shuttle, he noted Kaidan already half into his armour.

"Hey, Major," he snapped off a quick salute, knowing he wouldn't get off with talking to a senior officer the same way he spoke to Johanna. "Where do I find my armour locker on this ship? First time on board, y'know. Feel a bit like a tourist."

"Over there," Kaidan pointed absently toward a space farther down the shuttle bay, "Welcome aboard, Lieutenant."

A/N :: Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read, review, follow and favourite so far! As far as this chapter goes, I know it strays from canon slightly but I didn't want to use much of the game dialogue so I've altered it to better suit my idea of full-on renegade for Johanna. Also, the scene with her ripping into Kaidan; after Horizon and after being locked up, I always thought Shepard, or at least this Shepard, would want to tear him open. Voila! Hope you enjoy.