Chapter 4

Justified

Trust. Everything seemed to boil down to it in the end. As a commanding officer, you had to trust that the soldiers under your command would follow your orders, you had to trust that they had your back. As a soldier, you had to trust that your superiors knew what they were doing, that you weren't running blindly into hell with no way out. A concept friendships were based on and a concept that one of Shepard's crew had a little trouble with. They'd landed on Mars, fully ready to rescue Liara and secure the intel, Kaidan was more than ready to forget his run-in with Shepard on the Normandy, but they'd run into Cerberus and all of a sudden his head was swimming. So he had a dilemma - did he keep quiet, maybe throw a few troopers against a wall, or did he confront the Commander about Cerberus' presence?

"Cerberus? Really?" Shepard's voice cut through the Major's thoughts, "Well if that's not spit-on-your-neck fantastic, I'll never know what is." She slung her Avenger back onto its holster on the back of her armour, "Vega, remind me to check in with whoever's dealing with our requisitions when we get back to the Normandy, I need better guns. This piece of shit Avenger ain't cutting it." Vega acknowledged with nothing more than a nod and holstered his own weapon - he couldn't have said it better himself. Standard issue weapons just weren't his cup of tea.

"Isn't anyone wondering why they're here?" Kaidan kicked one of the dead troopers over onto his back, "Isn't it just a little coincidental?" There it was, decision made. Confrontation. Maybe it wasn't the wisest call he'd ever made but, technically, he was the superior officer and he had every right to question his subordinates, especially about something so important. He may not be in command on Shepard 's ship but surely his rank had to count for something on the ground.

"Oh, here we go," Johanna sighed, time was in short enough supply without someone questioning her trustworthiness. "Man up, Alenko," she glared in his direction, her eyes not leaving his form once, "Grow a pair. If you have something to say, spit it the hell out." She shook her head and stormed past, making a bee-line for the facility's primary airlock. He sure knew how to pick his moments. "Can't this wait until after the mission?" If she had to, she'd put him in his place, she had no fear of rank or consequence - anything it took to get the job done. Besides, it'd probably take less time to tear him yet another new one than it'd take to try to reason with him.

"So you don't know why they're here? You expect me to believe that you know absolutely nothing about this?" They all stepped into the airlock and waited for the room to pressurise. Kaidan didn't understand why she was so irritated, what was he supposed to think? Cerberus had rebuilt her, they'd given her her life back and he was supposed to believe that she felt no compulsion of loyalty toward them? It just didn't add up.

"I'm not Cerberus, Kaidan," Shepard sighed, not sure she had the energy to have this particular conversation for what felt like the millionth time. "And I never was. They gave me resources, I used them to take the Collectors down. When I could, I turned myself over to the Alliance." She prodded her finger at the holo keyboard on the airlock console, willing it to work faster, nothing was more infuriating than having to justify herself over and over and over again. Although she spoke calmly, her mood was murderous.

"Commander Shepard's been under constant surveillance since returning to Earth," Vega chimed in, "No way they've been in contact." Finally, having an ever-present bodyguard paid off - she wished that Alenko could see the look on her face. Score one to Johanna, she felt as though she could kiss James. She turned around to face the two men behind her as the console bleeped to tell them that the room was finally properly pressurised. It took her a second to straighten her face before she unclipped her helmet from her armour.

"I need a straight answer," Kaidan pressed, unclipping his own helmet as he spoke. "If you're not with them, it shouldn't be too much to ask for. Give me something to work with here, Jo." He'd said it before he'd had a chance to think - old habits really did die hard.

"Excuse me?" Shepard closed the gap between herself and Kaidan before James had a chance to stop her. "Give you something to work with? What kind of bullshit is that?" She was fuming. As far as she was concerned, he had no right to question her. He'd given up that right when he walked away for, her on Horizon. "I don't know how many times I need to say this but here's hoping this time's the charm. I. Am not. With Cerberus," she placed a sarcastic stress on each word, as though she spoke to a petulant child, "I don't know why they're here, I assume they're here for the same reasons we are and no, before you ask, I don't know how they got the information." She paused to sigh but cut right back in before Kaidan had a second to gather his thoughts. "And it's Shepard," she spat her words at him as though they left a bad taste in her mouth, "You gave up any right you had to call me Jo back on Horizon." She threw an apologetic glance at James, not wanting him to feel awkward while she spat words towards her ex. "You know what, Kaidan. Think what you like, I don't care any more. If you wanna stay, stay. If you want to go, you can share a transport from the Citadel with James but while you're here, while you're part of my team, you'll not act like a pissy little boy. Get over it, Alenko, I am DONE justifying myself to you."

"So, uh," Vega felt like a third wheel, stuck as a buffer between an idiotic Major and that idiotic Major's angry former lover. Hell hath no fury like a Shepard scorned. "Don't we have an asari to go rescue or something?" He hated that Shepard had to justify herself to Kaidan like that, especially since he'd been part of her original crew, he knew her. He knew her better than most would have a chance to, himself probably included, and yet he still believed the hype. "So why don't we get in, get whatever shit it is we need and then get the hell out before the Reapers decide they want to wipe us out over here, too." For a moment, he thought he might be next in line for another of Shepard's tirades but she just smiled at him.

"After you, Major," she motioned for the door and then fell into step beside James as they walked through the bay. "Thank you," she spoke so their companion wouldn't hear, "When we get to the Citadel, I owe you a drink."

"Don't mention it," he glanced over at her. He couldn't deny that he'd developed something of a soft spot for her. Despite the fact that she could probably tear him to pieces with nothing more than her mind and her words ad her weapons, he'd seen a softer side to her from time to time and he wouldn't mind seeing a little more of it. "So, Jo," he winked, "What's the plan?"

"Don't push it, Vega," Johanna only grinned at him, "We find Liara, get the intel and then we get the hell out of here. If we wipe out a few dozen of these Cerberus bastards, all the better."

"You got it, Commander." James snapped back to being serious but he kept that smile on his face. She hadn't told him off over his use of her name ... it was a start.

A/N :: Sorry about the delay in getting this chapter out, had a lot on my plate this week. Hopefully there won't be a week between this chapter and the next! Again, I know this strays from what actually happens in the game but I always thought a full-on renegade like Johanna would be more likely to be wildly outspoken and I want to explore that. :)

Also, thank you to for taking the time to leave a review for every chapter so far. It's appreciated!