Hi Guys! I'm so happy to be posting this! It's the longest story I have ever finished and I'm absolutely thrilled about it :) Thank you very much to those who stuck with me through the whole thing - it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. It is my very first SPN story and even though in due time I started (and finished) more stories, this one is really dear to me :)

So thanks again, hope you enjoyed the ride and pls tell me what you think of my little fic that turned out to be way longer than expected! :)

L.

Epilogue

"Are you sure?" - The angel asked a hundredth time and Dean rolled his eyes.

"Cas."

"It's just… Well, it's going to be hard for her! I wouldn't want to see you with her if it was the other way around!"

"Come on, Cas! We'll have to find the way to make this work and Lisa agreed to try. We've been through this ten times already."

"I know, but…"

"No, there's no but. I have Ben and I'm gonna have one more kid soon. They are part of my life and you are too, so suck it up and let's go! You have to find a way to be able to stay in the same room…"

"Dean, I just don't want to cause her pain. I know how hard it is to lose you…"

"Yeah, well there's nothing we can do about that, is there? I spoke to Lisa and I explained this is not your fault. She knows we were together before I met her and she knows I love you. She understands Cas. And it's been a month already and I spoke to her countless times and she really is ok with meeting you."

"Well, why couldn't you have chosen a worse person? The one I wouldn't feel so sorry for?" – Castiel growled and then sighed. – "Sorry, I didn't mean that… It's just… Let's just go."

"Hey, look at me." – Dean invaded Cas' personal space and wrapped his arms around his angel's waist. Castiel fixed his eyes on Dean's and relaxed visibly. The hunter still had the same soothing effect on him. – "It's going to be ok. I'll be right there with you and it's going to be fine. Lisa's strong and she really is a nice girl, she understands." – He brushed his lips across Cas' and continued softly. – "And you don't get to blame yourself, ok? It's not your fault, you hear me? If you blame yourself, then I have to blame me and I don't want to do that. Neither of us had a choice. If anything it's that dick's Israfil's fault for taking you from me. Once I found out you were alive, there was no way I could carry on with my picket fence life. And if you once again tell me you shouldn't have shown up, I'll kick your ass."

Castiel rested his forehead against Dean's and sighed silently.

"I just hate feeling so guilty… Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't give you back, but it's still…"

"Yeah, I know. She's the one who got the short straw, I know."

Castiel closed the gap between their lips and they both pressed closer to each other.

"I love you."

"I love you. And now move your feathery ass and get us to Lisa's."

/\/\/\

"Lisa, you remember Cas." – Dean said as they both walked into the living room he used to share with her. He could feel the angel tense further at his side. He was never the most relaxed type, but right now it seemed he could spring back from the smallest movement. He did get a grip of himself though as he inclined his head towards the pregnant woman.

"Lisa… It's… good to see you." – The angel muttered and fixed his eyes on her. He could see the pain in her eyes, but along with it was an acceptance. If there still was hope hidden in her that she and Dean could still be together, it was not showing in her eyes.

"Castiel. Dean has told me much about you." – Her voice was even, no anger or bitterness, but Castiel could feel all those emotions raging in her. She was angry, of course she was, but it's not even him or Dean she was angry with. It was just not fair to her and there was not much any of them could do about it. But most of all she was just in pain for losing the man she truly loved. This pain, grief even Castiel could so easily relate to. He turned to Dean.

"Dean, could you leave us for a second?" – He asked and the hunter cocked his eyebrows in surprise.

"Why?"

"Dean."

"It's ok Dean." – She sighed. – "Ben's upstairs, why don't you go see him, he's been waiting for you."

Dean glanced back and forth between them and finally nodded and left the room. Castiel turned back to face Lisa and sat on the couch next to her.

"Lisa, I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now, but Dean said we have to make it work for all of our sake." – He started slowly and before she could interrupt, continued. – "I know what happened is not fair to you and please know that I never wanted to hurt you. When I saw Dean formed a family with you, I had no intentions of coming back, you have to know that. I personally believe Dean should have found the way to stay with you, because he could've been happy with you."

"He loves you." She mumbled.

"Yes, but he loves you too. And Ben. And the baby you're carrying. And it's a lot of love…"

"That's not that kind of love that forms families. He was miserable the last months he spent here. I saw how bad it was but I had no idea why he was so unhappy. And the last month… He comes to see Ben and I see his guilt and shame, but I also see how happy he is. I once saw him speaking on the phone with you… It hurts me to say this, but I've never seen him this way. The look on his face… He never looked at me this way and you were not even here! He loves you and he was right to go for you."

"I love him too."

"I can see that, Castiel. I should have seen that the time you healed him…"

"Lisa, there's something I can actually do to help you. If you're willing that is."

"What are you talking about?" – She asked frowning slightly.

"This pain you're feeling… I can help. I can make it go away."

"What? How?"

"Well, the easiest way is to erase the memories that cause you pain, but this is not an option here, since we're all in this together. There's another way. You will remember everything, including loving and losing him, but the pain associated with this loss will no longer be there. Humans think their love is in their hearts and of course this is incorrect. They also think the love is in the soul, but this is only true in very few cases. Mostly love is in your head. It is triggered by the reactions and chemicals in your brain – you feel the rush of endorphins when you see the person you love and that makes you happy. Subsequentially, not seeing them makes you miserable, causes you pain, because the brain is already used to endorphins. I'm of course oversimplifying things, it's much more complicated than that and it does involve emotional and subconscious attachment, but the pain you feel is not subconscious – it is merely driven by chemicals in your brain. What I can do is… To put it in simple words – it's a fast rehab course. I can clean the endorphins and the lack thereof from your system and you will no longer be in pain. The emotional attachment will remain, but of course neither of you would want it any other way, but the love in terms of chemical, base sense will no longer be there and thus you will not be in pain."

Lisa stared at him seemingly at the loss of words.

"Is it safe?" – Dean asked. He was leaning at the doorframe and apparently heard what Castiel had said.

"Yes, there's no danger to Lisa or the baby."

"Dean, I'm sorry, I know you're not going to like it, but I have to ask." – Lisa said suddenly and Castiel was almost sure what her question would be. – "If you can do that, why didn't you make Dean stop loving you? We had a family…"

Dean growled under his breath at that crossed the room to put his hand on Cas' shoulder.

"That's not fair, Lisa. He blames himself already!"

"Dean…"

"No, Cas, shut up. Lisa, it was my decision. I love you and Ben and the kid, but Cas is… I chose him and I will always choose him. I'm sorry, I know it's hard, but I love him and I'm never letting him go."

"I understand…"

"Besides," – Dean continued, - "he actually wanted to do that, but I would never let him."

"Lisa," – Castiel fixed his eyes on hers, - "the only way I could have stopped him loving me was to make him forget everything. And still he would feel the loss of it, even though he wouldn't even know what he's missing, till the end of his days. What we have is not purely base and chemicals. I have a part of his soul in my grace and he has part of my grace in his soul. I can strip away the love, but we will always be connected."

They both stared at him for a moment until Dean cleared his throat.

"Dude, that was… Intense."

"So there never was a chance, was there?" – Lisa asked silently. – "You're never coming back?"

"I'm sorry Lis, I'm really not coming back…"

The woman turned her head back to the angel and there was steely determination in her eyes.

"Do it. I don't want to be in this pain anymore. If there's no hope… I'd rather skip forward to when I no longer love him."

Castiel looked at Dean for his acceptance too. Dean nodded and Cas pressed his two fingers to her temple. Lisa gasped silently and her eyelids fluttered. When she finally opened her eyes, Castiel smiled. Now that there was no pain in her eyes, he could see how bad it really was.

"I… I feel… Good!" – She mumbled and laughed.

Castiel smiled slightly and let out a sigh of relief as Dean moved his hand to rub the back of angel's neck.

"You're really ok?" – Dean asked and Lisa nodded.

"Yes, I really am! Oh my God, it's such a relief! I mean I love you still, but you're like a… I don't know, friend? Family? Anyway, it doesn't pain me anymore, whatever this is!" – Lisa stood up from the couch and gave her hand to Castiel, who stood up as well. – "Thank you, Castiel! Thank you!"

She wrapped her arms around Castiel's shoulders and buried her face in his neck. The angel hugged her back.

"Do you mind if I bless… the baby?" – He asked catching himself. – "Do you know the gender?"

Lisa shook her head stepping away.

"No, the doctor wasn't sure. Why? Do you know?"

"Yes. Do you want me to tell you?"

Both Dean and Lisa answered at once.

"Yes!"

"It's a boy. You're having a boy."

The parents looked at each other with similar grins crossing their faces.

"Can I bless him?" – Castiel asked again.

"An angel wants to bless my baby?" – Lisa laughed. – "I'm not saying 'no' to that!"

Castiel glanced at Dean and seeing him nodding put his hands on Lisa's stomach. He murmured something in Enochian and then drew some sigils with the tip of his index finger. Finally he stepped back and smiled at Dean.

"He's strong, that one. He's going to be remarkable!"

"Daniel." – Lisa said unexpectedly.

Both Dean and Castiel stared at her.

"I've been thinking about Daniel. You two are going to be in his life and… There's symmetry I inexplicably like in it. And it has a sound to it, you know?"

"It's a beautiful name, Lisa." – Cas muttered. – "Daniel was the prophet of the Lord and he was a great man – courageous, loyal and wise. Both you and Dean share the qualities of Daniel."

"It's settled then." – Lisa smiled and Dean stepped forward to hug her.

"Thank you." – He muttered in her ear. – "Thank you for accepting us and thank you for letting us into his life."

"It's going to work out Dean. Now more than ever!"

/\/\/\

"Sam! Get your ass back here!" – Dean yelled. He poured the popcorn into a bowl and shoved it in Sam's hands. – "Take that. And do you want beer or hunter's little helper?"

"Beer's fine. When's Cas coming?" – Sam asked. Tonight was their movie night – something they all decided to have every other week ever since Dean had found and rented the apartment he and Cas were now living in. Movie night was good for Cas, because the angel still lacked the basic understanding of pop cultural references and it was good for both Sam and Dean, because with Dean not hunting anymore they had limited time to spend together.

"Any minute now. Samandriel needed his help with something. Cas mentioned runes or sigils. I don't know, I've been… distracted when he explained the thing."

"You guys are disgusting." – Sam scowled but then grinned. – "Hey, and no touching during the movie!"

This was one of the movie night's rules – no touching, no kissing and generally, nothing that would make Sam bleach his brain. Both Dean and Cas were very fond of breaking that rule.

"Yeah, yeah." – Dean agreed absentmindedly. Cas should be there by now.

"He'll be here, stop worrying." – Sam said and they both heard flutter of wings.

"Hello Sam." – Cas nodded and then pulled Dean into a hug. Sam rolled his eyes and went to the living room to give them a moment.

"Missed you." – Cas muttered silently trailing kisses down Dean's jaw. Dean chuckled and pressed an open mouthed kiss at Cas' lips. He ran his fingers through his angel's perpetually messy hair. – "Missed you too."

Dean pulled back then getting a growl from an angel.

"Come on! Sam will have an aneurism if he has to bleach his brain again!" – He laughed and pulled Cas towards the living room. They settled on the couch and Dean wrapped his arms around his angel. Sam rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything. For a man who always said he hated cuddling, Dean turned out to be a ball of cuddliness and Sam knew the lost battle when he saw one. As long as they were not making out with him right there, he's fine.

The movie Dean picked up for the night was Godfather – one of his all time favorites. Dean liked watching movies with Cas and Sam, because they both watched them with unwavering fascination. They both also liked to nerd out on films – discussing every little detail, arguing if it was possible or not. It was fun to watch, because to Cas almost everything was possible and no matter how often Sam said people can't do some things, Cas could always come back with 'well, maybe they have an angel helping them – this does happen'. Sam would roll his eyes and shut up while Dean would laugh and kiss his angel.

"Cas?" – Sam asked somewhere in the middle of the movie.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to go on a hunt with me? I've been tracking this succubus and from experience I can say it's a bitch to deal with them, so I wondered…"

"Of course. Succubus venom does not work on angels, I will be glad to help you hunt it down." – Cas agreed at once. – "I like hunting with you Sam."

"Hmm…" – Dean groaned.

"What?" – Both Sam and Cas asked.

"Do you guys think it's maybe time for you to retire too?"

"No." – They both replied and started laughing.

"Dean, hunting is something Sam and I got into doing when… you know. I like it, it's fun."

"Yeah, I know it's fun, it's just… Sam had always wanted an apple pie life and it kind of seems unfair I'm getting one when he keeps hunting."

"It's my choice Dean." – Sam said and smiled. – "I mean I'm not going to hunt forever, but for now… It's really what I want to do. And plus, hunting with Cas is a piece of cake! He's awesome!"

"Don't I know!" – Dean laughed and pulled Cas closer to him.

By the time they finished watching the movie, both Sam and Dean were half asleep. Cas pulled Dean up from the couch and Sam opened his eyes and looked at them curiously.

"Cas, I've got to ask – you don't sleep, do you?"

"No, I don't require sleep." – Cas said.

"Ok, so why the hell do you stay for the night? And I don't mean the gross stuff, but after, you know. I mean it's creepy to watch someone sleep."

Dean chuckled at that.

"I enjoy the peacefulness of sleep. It's quiet. And Dean sleeps better when I'm around, no nightmares." Cas said and smiled at Dean fondly.

"Oh… Ok then. No nightmares, that's good."

"Besides, it's Cas' home too, where else would he be?" Dean asked and then grinned. "Once you get over the freakish staring, it's all good anyway."

"If you say so, Dean. I personally wouldn't want Cas to watch me sleep."

"Well hell! I wouldn't want that too." – Dean laughed and Cas nodded quickly.

"No offence Sam, but you are really not my type. Not that it would matter, because Dean and I… It's for good. I will never be away from him again."

"Don't want to kill the mood and everything, but… Have you thought what will happen when Dean gets old? I mean, you don't grow old."

"No, I don't. But that doesn't matter. I will be with Dean always. And after… When he dies, I'll find my way into his heaven. I found him once and I'm nothing but determined when it comes to this. Besides, Samandriel promised he'd grant me this last choice."

"Dude! Why haven't you told me that?" – Dean stared at him wide eyed.

"Because we have time. There's still a lot of human life we get to experience together before we go up there."

"So it's real then, isn't it? You're with me for good?"

"Yes Dean. I'm with you for good."

END.