Chapter 18: We Have History

Kate was excited when told that Ana would be her Matron of Honor. Kate chose another dress similar to what Mia chose for the bridesmaid's dresses but in a darker shade of gold than the other two bridesmaids and Ana sent her measurements to Kate's Mother who designed all the dresses. Ana and Gideon would arrive a few days before the wedding for Ana's final fitting. Since another person was added to the bridal party, Elliot had to find another groomsman. He considered asking Gideon since they got along so well in Las Vegas but it was decided that would be to be uncomfortable for all involved. Elliot turned to a college friend, William Karnes.

The Grey-Kavanagh Wedding was set for October 12 in the Ball Rooms at the Mile High Club. Mia and Kate were in the final preparations and Kate was wishing that she had followed Ana's example and eloped.

Christian sat at his desk at GEH staring at the computer screen. He should be looking at financial spreadsheets but he couldn't concentrate. She was in town! Ana was in Seattle with her new husband. He was told that they were staying at the Fairmont. He felt his heart begin to pound. He would have to see her tonight at the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner tonight. Then, there was the wedding. He would be escorting her down the aisle. He wanted to call Elliot and tell him to make Ethan his best man and he would walk with another woman, but this was his brother. Elliot wanted him to stand beside him as he entered into marriage with the ball-buster as Christian called Kate. He could do this. She was just a woman, a little slip of a woman. Ana couldn't hurt him. Yeah, keep telling yourself that! She can tear your black heart out of your chest with just one look! She owns you, Grey, and she will own you for the rest of your miserable life!

Christian bit the inside of his cheek and saved his documents. He would work on this later. "Fuck it!" He said out loud and bolted out of his office for the Fairmont.

Christian sat in the SUV across the street from the Fairmont. He kept looking at Taylor thru the rearview mirror. "I know…I know. I'm a fucking idiot." Taylor only shrugged and looked ahead. Christian dialed the hotel's maindesk. " Mrs. Anatasia Cross's room please." He said with a bitter taste in his mouth. "Tell her it's Christian Grey."

"Yes, Mr. Grey. I will put you right through." The female voice said with a quiver.

The phone rang four times until a breathless female voice answered. "Hello."

Christian couldn't say a word. He froze. The voice said Hello a few more times. Say something you idiot before she hangs up! "Ana?" He barely said in a voice so low he doubted if the person could hear him.

"Yes, can I help you?"

"It's Christian Grey."

Silence.

"Oh, hello, Christian, how are you?" She said getting her balance back. She never dreamed that her ex-fiancé would call her. She was just hoping that he would treat her with cold reserve when they walked down the aisle together for the wedding.

"I'm fine, and yourself?"

"Doing well, thank you."

"Uh, Ana, I thought maybe we should have a talk before the rehearsal and the dinner tonight. I don't want anything to happen that might upset the bride and groom."

"I think that it is a very good idea." She was motioning to her personal assistant who traveled with her for this weekend to bring her those papers she was working. "Hold on, Christian." She took them from Polly, her little red-headed travel assistant. She cradled the phone between her ear and shoulder as she signed the papers. "Polly, get this faxed to the New York office, ASAP and make sure you get confirmation that they received them." She turned her attention to Christian. "I'm sorry about that, Christian. Where would you like to meet?"

"I am actually across the street, so how about the bar downstairs in ten minutes."

"I will see you in ten." She hung up and returned her attention to another contract that she wasn't too keen on.

Ten minutes later, Christian watched with eager eyes as Ana strolled into the bar. She was wearing a beautiful sage colored shift dress with a darker sage lace shrug over her shoulders. Her hair was left down and streaming over her shoulders. His eyes streamed up and down her long legs encased in silk stockings and her black five-inch Jimmy Choos. The woman was still as beautiful as he remembered, but there was something different about her. She walked with confidence with her head up. She nodded at a few people that she knew from when she lived and worked in Seattle. When she saw him, she gave him a sweet smile. Christian stood when she arrived at the table he chose for them. She reached up and gave him a kiss on his cheek. The touch of her lips made his breath hitch and his groin tighten.

"Hello, Christian." She said with a true smile that made those blue eyes sparkle like sapphires.

"Hello, Ana." He replied as he sat after she took a chair. "You look so beautiful, but you have always been so beautiful. When you were mine, I was the luckiest man…." He stopped when she held up her left hand. He caught the sight of her wedding rings.

"Christian, don't." She shook her head. "Let's cherish the time we had together and be happy for each other."

"Are you happy with Cross? I'm shocked he let you come down here all alone. If you were my wo…."

Once again Ana stopped him, but this time with the darkening of her eyes. "Gideon doesn't own me, Christian. I am his wife, not his concubine. He treats me with respect and he trusts me completely. I come and go as I like without running to him for permission to do so." She relaxed and sat back after making her point. "And, yes to answer your question, I am very happy with Gideon."

"Do you love him? Do you love him like you loved me? Does he make your heart beat wildly? Do you think of him constantly?"

"Yes." She answered to all his questions.

Christian was shocked into silence by her bold and confident answer. His grey eyes showed the hurt that he felt before the veil fell over them. "You left me."

"Yes, I know I did." She was about to say more but a waitress came over. She smiled at the girl and ordered a white wine. Christian ordered the same thing. After the waitress left Ana continued. "We were not happy, Christian. You were suffocating me and I felt trapped, and you must have felt the same way…you did go to that club."

"I never stopped loving or wanting you, Ana. I still love you and want you." He reached over and took her right hand into his. She felt so warm and right. How could he lose her? "I fucked up, Ana. I know that. But, you just left…you didn't give me a chance."

"I gave you chance after chance to come terms to with your issues." She kept her hand in his to give him some comfort. She didn't hate Christian. He had been first love and lover. He would always have a special place in her heart. She always tried to remember the good times they had before their lives together fell apart. "I could take a lot of crap off you, Christian, but not cheating and you going to clubs and renting subs constitutes cheating in my book. But, we have spoken about this already. This is all water under the bridge between us. We have to agree to be civil to each other for the rehearsal activities this evening and the wedding tomorrow. I have no reason to be hateful to you and I hope you feel the same way."

"I don't hate you. Ana, I still love you." He wanted so much to reach over and kiss those full lips. He wanted to touch her body and make love to her over and over again, but he couldn't. He didn't have the right anymore because she was now married to another man. She was Ana Cross. She was no longer his Ana. "Do you have any feelings left for me?"

"Oh, Christian, of course I do. You were my first. You will never be forgotten."

"So, I'm just a warm and fuzzy memory?" He placed his other hand over hers and gently caressed her knuckles.

"You are a cherished memory." Ana's attention went to the waitress who brought their drinks. Ana smiled at her and said thank you and then she returned her attentions to Christian. "Never think you didn't mean the world to me. You did. I just wasn't enough for you."

"You were always more than enough."

"Christian, be honest about me and you. You like the lifestyle. It's a part of you. You love the control and hey, that's alright. Whatever makes you happy! I make no judgments, but that lifestyle isn't for me."

"You made me happy." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingertips. "I want to make you happy, Ana."

"Alright, if you want to make me happy, behave tonight and tomorrow. No snarky remarks, no nasty looks at my husband, and be nice to Kate. She is about to be your sister-in-law."

"And, how will you make me happy?" His eyes turned dark with desire. He still desired her. He would take anything that she offered. Hell, he would even become her secret lover if she wished.

"I will kind and respectful to you. I won't flaunt Gideon in front of you. Yes, he will be by my side this evening and tomorrow, but I will keep PDAs to a minimum."

"You can do anything you want with Cross for all I care, I want you to come to me. I want you to want me again. I'll take anything Ana. I told you once that I would take you anyway I could get you, and if I have to be the other man, then so be it. I can't live without you."

Ana pulled her hand out of his. "You look like you are living fine without me. And, you want me to cheat with you on my husband? Are you crazy? For one thing, that will not happen! I cherish the vows I took and I will keep them. I will stay true to Gideon for as long as we are married. Second, what happened to your monogamous rule when with a Sub? Yes, I know about your current Sub, so don't try to act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Please, do not insult my intelligence."

Christian sat in silence staring at the woman who once loved him unconditionally until he fucked it all up in one evening. She was quite remarkable. Smart, feisty, and honorable and she would not cheat on her husband. "Gideon is a very fortunate man."

"I do love him, Christian. I wish you could be happy for me."

"Oh, God, baby, that hurts to hear you say that. You are supposed to love me. You were mine."

"I was yours, but you didn't appreciate that before it was too late." She looked down at her hands that she folded before her on the table. Her left hand was on top and she smiled at the rings that joined her to Gideon. She could still feel the moment that he slid the wedding ring on her finger. "It's time for you to move on, Christian. Don't be afraid. You can find love if you would just let someone in."

"I did once and she tore my heart out of my chest."

"I did no such thing." She was getting tired of his whining. "Listen, Christian, it's not my job to save you or to grant you happiness. If you want love and happiness, it's up to you to go find it and maintain it. That's where we failed, we didn't maintain our relationship. We took each other for granted."

"It wasn't you fault. You just never gave me a chance to fix it."

Ana had to laugh. "How can you fix the fact that you went to a BDSM club and then rented a complete stranger to beat on? You know you would have gone back over and over again, and then it would have turned sexual. It was just a matter of time. I left so you could be happy in the lifestyle that you love so much. Don't you see, I gave you back to what you know and are comfortable with?"

"I don't want that."

"Leave it then." She retorted back.

"So, you are staying with Cross?" He asked changing the subject. As long as she was out of his reach he wasn't leaving the lifestyle. She was the only one worth leaving it for.

"Yes, I am. Why would I want to ever leave him?"

Christian brushed his hands thru his copper curls. "I will be on my best behavior tonight and tomorrow. If I can't have you as my wife, maybe we can be friends."

Ana smiled gently at him. "I would like that." She took another sip of her wine. "I hope someday you will like Gideon. You two are a lot alike. Both are ruthless in business, but give generously to causes that mean a lot to you. Both are domineering but in different ways."

"Sounds like he is my long, lost brother."

"I wouldn't go that far." Ana giggled making Christian smile. "He is a good man and he is very good to me."

"If you ever need me…or if that bastard ever hurts you…whatever happens in your life or my life, I will be there for you. Just one phone call, Ana and I will be by your side."

Ana sat back shocked by his level of protection that he had for her and shocked by the animosity he seemed to have for Gideon. "Tell me why you hate my husband so much."

"We have history."

Ana's smile faded and her eyes became dark. What kind of history could they have? Did they attend Harvard together? "I would like to know."

"Gideon and I knocked heads over a Sub. He wanted her and I wanted her. He got her and after he was done with her she was ruined." His words were acid to her soul eating through it and leaving her raw and bare.

"Liar!" She whispered furiously. She stood quickly. "You want us to be friends then you lie like that. How could you, Christian? Do you hate him that much?"

Christian came to his feet and took her by the shoulders. "I'm not lying to you. Ask him, Ana. Ask him about Tiffanie Sommers. I dare you."

Ana pulled away from the man she used to love. Without thinking she pulled back and slapped him as hard as she could. "Don't you ever breathe his name. You aren't man enough to be in the same room with my husband."

Christian's grey eyes turned dark in anger. She had called him a liar and then slapped him. "Your Gideon isn't as innocent as you seem to think. Yeah, we are a lot alike, because we used to run in the same circles, go to the same clubs, and fuck the same Subs." He stepped towards her. "And, now he is married to my fiancé and fucking her." He was close enough that he could feel her breathing. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Ask him, Ana, and find out what a sick twisted bastard he really is." Christian walked away leaving Ana shell-shocked. She couldn't move. When the waitress finally approached her did Ana find her bearings.

"Mrs. Cross, are you alright?" The girl asked worried. "Shall I call someone for you?"

Ana gave a half-attempted laugh. "It seems there is no one to call." She found her purse and gave the girl a hundred dollar bill to pay for the drinks. "Keep the change."

"Thank you, Mrs. Cross."

"Oh, by the way, don't ever trust a man. A little tip from me to you." Ana slowly walked out of the bar, through the lobby to the elevators and pressed the button. Her body was numb. Every bone in her body ached. She felt like Christian had beaten the shit out her, and in a way he did, but with his cruel words instead of his fists.

Gideon arrived to their hotel suite as Ana finished dressing for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. She was wearing a lovely Calvin Klein black/blue/white colorblock dress with cap sleeves with her blue five-inch Dior shoes. Her hair was pulled back into a high pony-tail and left to flow down the middle of her back. She was sitting at the vanity when Gideon strolled over to her with a smile that promised that he would make love to her all night long. He bent down and kissed her long slender neck. She always smelled so good.

"I am so glad to see you, Ana. God, I missed you so much." He watched her in the mirror. Her eyes were glazed over and she did look like she had been crying. "Ana? Are you alright?"

The tears welled up in her eyes. When she spoke her voice quivered in deep hurt. "Who is Tiffanie Sommers?"

Gideon stood to full height. How in the hell did she learn that name? Fuck! That was a name he never wanted to hear again. The only one who could have told her about Tiffanie was Grey. "She was a girl I knew long, long time ago."

"Was she your Sub?"

Thos blue eyes were hard as granite. She wasn't giving an inch on this. "She was in a sense."

"Fuck." Ana breathed. She closed her eyes and wished she was anywhere but here in Seattle. "Why didn't you tell me? Why the fuck did I have to hear this from him?"

"It was years ago, Ana. Damn it, woman, it doesn't affect us in the here and now."

"You went to clubs." Her voice took on a tone of accusation. "You were in the lifestyle just like him."

"I dabbled in it. I wasn't hardcore like Grey. I didn't beat girls with canes or whips."

"What happened to Tiffanie Sommers?"

"You want the truth or Grey's version of the truth." His sapphire eyes turned dark with fury. He would kill Grey for this.

"I just want the truth."

"Tiffanie was a Sub trying to get out of the lifestyle. Grey was hot for her. She had turned him down a few times because …well he had a reputation in the lifestyle of being out of control. Some girls got hurt because of his penchant for casting pain. I thought she was a pretty little thing so I wanted her and we got into a fight over her. We beat the shit out of each other and we both were expelled from this club, but I took Tiffanie with me. We had our fun. She left happy and content. A few days later she was found in her bedroom. She hung herself. The last person to call her was Grey. She also kept a diary telling how horrible she found the lifestyle now and that she wanted out for good but people like Grey kept pulling her back in. All she wanted was to be taken care of and all she got was being used."

"Why does Christian think you ruined her?"

"Because I was the last one to fuck her. I swear Ana; I never hit her with anything not even my hand. I tied her up and we had some wild hard sex, but I never hit her."

Ana believed him. She knew he liked a little bondage and she willingly participated and enjoyed it. She could honestly say that Gideon never once asked to hit her with anything. He only wanted to dominate the sex act. "You should have told me."

"Maybe, I should have, but it's not something I think about every day. It happened years ago and I had nothing to do with her death. She chose to end her life because she was depressed." Gideon kneeled beside his wife. "Have I ever hurt you? Have I ever hit you?"

"No, Gideon, you haven't." She answered as a tear slid down her cheek.

"He is trying to come between us. I will admit that I didn't tell you everything about my past, but I have told you more than I have told anyone in my life. Fighting with Grey over a girl isn't a big deal to me. Doms usually compete for a Sub, especially if she is beautiful and good at being a submissive." He reached over and wiped her tears away. "I don't like to see you cry. You are too beautiful to be crying."

Ana searched his face and his eyes and saw the truth in them. "He blindsided me. We met downstairs to talk about the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner tonight. He kept telling me that he loved me and wanted me back and he even suggested that I take him as a lover." She took a big breath to calm her nerves. "I refused him telling him that I took my vows seriously that's when he told me to ask you about Tiffanie Sommers because you were not all that innocent. He said you both ran in the same circles and fucked the same Subs and now you are married to his fiancé and fucking her. Is that why you wanted me Gideon, because Christian had me? Am I just a prize between you two alpha males?"

"How can you think that? You know I was attracted to you before I found out about your connection to Christian. You felt the heat between us even before I sat down at your table…fuck Ana, I felt it when I walked into that restaurant and it led me straight to you."

"You better get cleaned up. We have to leave in forty-five minutes."

"Are we alright, Ana?" He asked worried about the coldness that was still in her eyes.

"For now." She said standing up. "I have a few calls to make before we leave. Your dark blue suit is hanging in the closet and all your other things are already set out for you on the bed."

Gideon watched her walk into the living room. Her shoulders were slumped over. That fuckin Grey! Who in the hell does he think he is messing with my wife? I will fucking mess him up. I should have killed him the last time we fought. Yeah, motherfucker, we have history…but you are not going to mess up my future with Ana. She is my beloved wife and I keep what is mine!