Okay people, here is the next chapter. Seeing as I couldn't reply to reviews for some reason (the link wasn't working when I got the reviews) I shall reply to them here.
Stephy-Lou Clark-Weasley: Thanks for the review. I'm glad that you found last chapter funny. I don't know what came over me. I do hope you find this one funny too.
Okay, I only got one review! LOL! Thanks to everyone who read and added me to their faves and alert lists. I really appreciate it.
Also, special props, and a dedication to AIR-IS-LIFE, who created this funny pic on Deviant art (called Creating Albion) that I loved, and which inspired me in to writing this chapter. The sign belongs to her. (nods)
xXxXxXxXxXxXx
That Awkward Moment When...
The Knights Realise Eavesdropping is Wrong.
xXxXxXxXxXxXx
Gwaine walked into the council room when he heard a groan come from the antechamber next door. He looked at the door to see a sign on parchment that read 'Do Not Disturb! Merlin and King Arthur are Creating Albion' Gwaine, being the dirty minded pervert that he is (in a totally loveable way of course) put his ear against the door.
"Well let's get on with it then!" Arthur exclaimed.
"There is no way that is going to fit! It's way too big Arthur! What are you thinking? We could just-" Merlin exclaimed back. Gwaine's eyes went wide but his listening was cut off when Leon came along with Percival.
"Gwaine, what the hell are you doing?" Leon hissed.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you what I just heard." Gwaine shot back.
"Gwaine you are going to get into serious trouble if Arthur catches you eavesdropping again." Leon stated. That was when another groan came from the room and all three knights looked at the closed door.
"I told you it wasn't going to fit Arthur!" Merlin yelled.
"Of course it will fit! That's what it's built for!" Arthur shot back. Leon and Percival's eyes went wide, and soon the pair were joining Gwaine at the door, Gwaine's scolding completely forgotten. That was when Elyan came along with Lancelot and interrupted the three from their listening so they didn't catch the rest of Merlin's sentence.
"What the hell are you all doing?" Elyan asked. Leon and Percival just ushered them over. The pair listened along with the other Knights.
"Arthur I'm telling you it is too big! Look it's stuck! What the hell are we going to do now?" Merlin asked. Lancelot and Elyan looked very confused.
"But they're both married! To women!" Lancelot exclaimed quietly.
"We know that!" Gwaine hissed. They carried on listening.
"Well, we'll just have to oil it, if it comes down to that." Arthur stated. All the knights had red faces.
"Well they say oil's good for your skin." Merlin replied. There was another groan. None of the knights were sure if it came from Merlin or Arthur and they weren't sure they wanted to know.
"Who told you that? Morgana?" Arthur mocked.
"Actually Gaius did. He said he used to use it when trying to get Uther to relax-" The rest of what Merlin said was lost in the gasps let out by the knights.
"King Uther and Gaius? Are you serious?" Leon asked.
"I didn't know the old dog had it in him." Gwaine said incredulously. They carried on listening.
"Your sister has plenty of other uses for oil." Merlin stated proudly.
"Don't talk about my sister like that? That isn't a mental image I want right now!" Arthur yelled.
"Afraid of it destroying your mood?" Merlin shot back.
"Shut up Merlin and get on with it!" Arthur yelled. The knights heard more groaning from both men.
"I should totally have asked Percival to do this. You're such a wimp Merlin!" Arthur exclaimed. Percival looked wide eyed at the other knights, his cheeks flaming with embarrassment.
"Then go and ask Percival!" Merlin shot back. Percival's eyes went wider, if that were possible, and he backed away from the door slightly.
"But, you've always been my servant. So serve me like you're supposed to!" Arthur stated. The knights gasped. That was when the door to the council room opened and Morgana walked in. She saw the knights gathered around the door.
"So what's going on here then?" Morgana asked. All the knights stood up and barred the door. Morgana didn't need to know what was going on, surely.
"Nothing My Lady. You really don't need to go in there." Gwaine stated. Though his eyes betrayed his absolute fear of the woman. Morgana sighed and nudged Gwaine to the side, when they all heard the next part of the conversation.
"I think I'm going to change my job description, I didn't know being the Court Sorcerer involved handling your hard-" That was when Morgana pushed the door open.
"-labour!" Merlin finished, as the Knights stared incredulously into the room. There were Merlin and Arthur, fully clothed, trying to move a... round table.
xXxXxXx WHAT WAS ACTUALLY HAPPENING BEHIND THE DOOR xXxXxXx
"Well let's get on with it then!" Arthur exclaimed. Merlin stared at the round table that he'd just transported magically into the room.
"There is no way that's going to fit! It's way too big Arthur! What are you thinking? We could just transport it into the council room with my magic." Merlin shot back.
"I had it especially made so that it will be perfect and everyone can sit around it." Arthur said sulkily. "It has to go into the new meeting room." Arthur added.
"What has that go to do with whether or not I just use my magic to move it?" Merlin asked.
"Because I want to do some of the work myself." Arthur replied. Merlin rolled his eyes as they attempted to move the huge table. Merlin and Arthur both groaned with the effort. But the giant thing stayed exactly in place. There was no way they were going to budge the thing without extra help, more muscle or a cart. But a cart wasn't going to get into the castle.
"I told you it wasn't going to fit Arthur!" Merlin stated.
"Of course it will fit! That's what it's built for!" Arthur shot back.
"It's a table Arthur. It's built to sit there and look pretty and things are supposed to rest on top of it. It's not built to fit through any doorway." Merlin stated. First they were going to have to get it through the archway, but Merlin had a feeling the table was too wide. They had finally managed to get it towards the archway and Merlin was panting with the effort. But as Merlin had feared, the table couldn't fit through the archway, and as they tried to get it through, Merlin realised that it was stuck.
"Arthur I'm telling you it is too big! Look it's stuck! What the hell are we going to do now?" Merlin questioned. Merlin didn't want the table to be broken or scratched. After all, it was Arthur's round table. That would be a ridiculous waste of wood and polish.
"Well, we'll just have to oil it, if it comes down to that." Arthur stated irritably. Arthur didn't like oil in the least. Merlin sighed again.
"Well they say oil's good for your skin." Merlin shot back. Arthur groaned as he attempted to push the table through the archway, but soon realised that the effort was rather wasted.
"Who told you that? Morgana?" Arthur asked mockingly, hoping to annoy Merlin. Merlin smirked back at Arthur.
"Actually Gaius did. He said he used to use it when trying to get Uther to relax after he got injured. Gaius used to use it on his torn ligaments and strained muscles." Merlin stated. Then he smirked again. "Your sister has plenty of other uses for oil." Merlin added evilly. Arthur glared at Merlin angrily.
"Don't talk about my sister like that? That isn't a mental image I want right now!" Arthur yelled, his own face flushed with embarrassment.
"Afraid of it destroying your mood?" Merlin asked sarcastically. Merlin knew that Arthur and Gwen were trying for a baby at the moment. Arthur glared.
"Shut up Merlin and get on with it!" Arthur yelled. Merlin and Arthur tried to move the table again. Merlin and Arthur were both straining their muscles with the effort. Both of them groaned in frustration.
"I should totally have asked Percival to do this. You're such a wimp Merlin!" Arthur stated.
"Then go and ask Percival!" Merlin shot back.
"But, you've always been my servant. So serve me like you're supposed to! Help me move this bloody table into the council room! I can't do it by myself!" Arthur stated. He looked pouty and sulky and Merlin wanted to laugh.
"Why didn't you ask the knights to help?" Merlin asked.
"It's supposed to be a surprise." Arthur hissed. Merlin did laugh then.
"I think I'm going to change my job description, I didn't know being the Court Sorcerer involved handling your hard-" That was when the door opened. "-labour!" Merlin finished as he looked to see all the knights standing outside. He looked at Morgana who walked over to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Hi Morgana." Merlin said cheerfully.
xXxXxXx BACK TO EVERYONE'S P.O.V xXxXxXx
"Wait? What?" Gwaine yelled in confusion. Merlin, Morgana and Arthur looked very confused.
"What's wrong with all of you?" Arthur asked, as the knights stared in confusion. Morgana smirked as she noted the red flush of embarrassment on the faces of the knights, and Gwaine's incredulous look.
"I think they were eavesdropping and got the wrong impression." Morgana said.
"No!" Gwaine exclaimed loudly. "We weren't eavesdropping! Really! We were just... walking past... right?" Gwaine turned to the other knights, his face asking for help.
"Yes! That's right, we were all walking by and we thought there was a secret meeting going on." Leon added. Morgana smirked at the knights.
"More like a secret rendezvous. None of you should be eavesdropping, you never know what you might hear." Morgana stated. Merlin and Arthur looked at the knights carefully then.
"What exactly did you think we were doing?" Merlin asked.
"Surely you didn't think we were... how do I put it?" Arthur questioned. Morgana grinned at the knights.
"They thought you were... 'Making the beast with two backs' as it were." Morgana replied cheekily. Merlin and Arthur both burst into laughter, at the mortified expressions on the faces of the knights.
"You really thought-" Arthur questioned through laughs
"That we'd-" Merlin added, trying to control his laughter.
"With each other?" Arthur added.
"That's ridiculous!" Both men said at the same time. They were still laughing.
"I've got a wife you know." Arthur stated.
"And I've also got a wife, who happens to be Morgana. I've got all the excitement I can handle right there." Merlin replied. Arthur gave Merlin a filthy look, while Morgana smirked evilly.
"If I wanted more than one man in my marriage, I certainly wouldn't pick my half brother for goodness sake." Morgana stated. The knights wanted to ask questions about all the innuendos they'd heard but they didn't think now was the right time.
"So you were looking for us?" Merlin asked Morgana. She nodded and then she looked at Merlin.
"Are you coming Merlin? It's three fifteen after all." Morgana stated. Merlin went red.
"Uh... well I'm sorry I'm late. But I was helping Arthur." Merlin replied.
"You'll just have to make it up to me then won't you?" Morgana stated.
"What happens at three fifteen?" Everyone else asked. Merlin and Morgana both smirked.
"You don't want to know." Merlin replied.
"I do!" Gwaine exclaimed.
"You always do Gwaine, but I'm sure my brother doesn't want to know." Morgana replied. Then she grabbed Merlin by the sleeve of his jacket and pulled him out of the room. Gwaine was sure he heard Morgana telling Merlin 'You've been a very naughty boy' just as the council room doors closed, but he didn't really want to think about it. It was too weird to think about Merlin doing anything remotely... adult...
"Wait a second! MERLIN! YOU DIDN'T HELP ME PUT THE TABLE IN THE COUNCIL CHAMBERS!" Arthur yelled. Then he deflated, and pouted. That was when Gwen came into the room, holding on to Gaius and Evangeline. The twins looked positively elfin, as they smiled at their favourite uncle, and all of a sudden, the table was in the council chambers, exactly where Arthur had wanted it. Arthur grinned.
"I love being an uncle to God-like offspring. You are good babies. Aren't you? Yes you are!" Arthur cooed at the two children, who giggled up at him happily. That was when Gwen and Arthur left the room, chatting about some things, and the knights were left in the council chamber.
"I think I'm never going to eavesdrop again." Gwaine stated. The other knights nodded and they left the council chamber together, all heading for the tavern. After all, they needed a drink to cure their mental scarring at this point.
xXxXxXxXxXxXx
Yes that's the end of this chapter. I don't know what came over me. Please R&R and let me know what you think.