Chapter 20: Hurt

Seattle at night was a beautiful sight with all the twinkling lights. Ana stared out the window while her husband slept peacefully in their bed. They had made love for a few hours after leaving the rehearsal dinner and now Ana was unable to sleep. She was pregnant. She was the Matron of Honor at her best friend's wedding and would have to walk with her ex-fiancé, and she learned that her husband had been in the BDSM lifestyle more than he had admitted. This had been one hell of day. She was gripping a glass of water as she contemplated her life. Pregnant! She closed her eyes and shook her head. She still couldn't believe it. She knew she had taken the shots on time. The damn thing either ran out to soon or she was given a bad shot. Pregnant! It was too soon. She knew she wanted children but not this soon. She was thinking of trying to get pregnant after they had been married a year. Ana leaned into the window placing her forehead on the cool glass to soothe her troubled mind. Were they ready to be parents? They were still learning about each other which had become very evident this afternoon when she learned about her husband's adventures into the dark side. She moved around the suite restless and worried. She finally settled on the sofa and pulled her legs up to her chest. She couldn't believe that the only two men she ever went to bed with had been in competition over a Sub. Fuck! This was just fucked up! She knew that Gideon liked to control sex and they did play once in awhile with bondage but he never hurt her or ask to hit her. She accepted his dominance and enjoyed his sexing. She was about to get up and get another glass of water when she heard Gideon screaming. She ran into the bedroom flipping on the lights to find Gideon standing on his knees grasping his cock and violently pulling and stroking on it. His eyes were closed but there was a sneer on this face.

"You fucker…how do you like it? How do you like it?" His cock was purple and rigid. Ana froze wondering what to do. She knew about his violent dreams but this was the first time she had witnessed a full-blown episode. He fell onto the bed pumping his hips into the mattress like he was fucking someone hard. "How's it feel motherfucker?"

"Gideon!" She said taking one step toward the bed. She was afraid to get closer to him in case he grabbed her and pulled her onto the bed. "Gideon Cross. It's just a dream! Wake up!"

"Fucker!" His voice rained out. "God damn motherfucker piece of shit!"

Ana had to wake him up. She went to the bed and touched his shoulder. "Please Gideon…please wake up." Her eyes were huge as she watched him thrust with venom into the mattress. "DAMN IT, GIDEON…WAKE UP!" Her hand went into his hair trying to soothe him. His arm came around and grabbed her and pulled her onto the bed and he was on top of her. His hands bit into her shoulders as he pinned her to the bed. "Please, Gideon, don't hurt me…please honey…our baby!" She felt her nightgown being pushed up and her legs being spread by his knee. "The baby Gideon…our baby!" She tried to push him off but he was so heavy. With all her strength she brought a knee up into his gut. This knocked him off balance enough that she could push him away with her feet and scramble off the bed. He fell back onto his back hitting his head on the headboard.

Ana crumbled to the floor in tears and for the first time since knowing Gideon she was afraid of him. She sobbed uncontrollably while Gideon came to. Her cries shot through his soul. He stood up on his knees to see his wife on the floor in tears.

"Oh, God…Ana…what have I done?" He grabbed his hair with both hands. "Ana, I…it was the dream…I didn't mean it. Please forgive me. Oh, sweetheart." He climbed out of bed and fell beside her. "I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you?"

"You…you tried t…tt..to…" She looked up at him with tears rolling down both cheeks. He tried to hold her but she scrambled away from him clearly terrified of her husband. "Don't hurt me."

"Ana, I won't hurt you. Oh, God…I would never want to hurt you. I love you so much." His blue eyes begged her to hear him. "Just let me see if you are hurt."

Ana stiffened as he moved closer and gently touched her shoulders where his red handprints were evident. "Did you…forget your medicine?"

Gideon grimaced. "I am so sorry. I did forget. Oh, Ana…please forgive me." He saw that she was still fearful of him. "I won't hurt you, honey. I just want to get you off the floor and into the bed."

"No, not the bed!" She screamed. She stood up slowly watching her husband in case he made a move for her. "I won't sleep there."

"Ana, please."

"Leave me alone, Gideon." She was shivering. " ' .me." She turned away from him and walked back into the living area. She went to the sofa and sat there. She could hear Gideon moving around in the bedroom.

Gideon stood behind her and watched her cry into her hands. He could see her shake from her fear. "Ana, I never meant to hurt you."

"You need to see someone about this. There has to be more to be done than just taking a pill. You could have…you would have…I had to knee you to get you off me. I'm pregnant, Gideon. What if you do this to me again or God forbid…our child." She couldn't look at him.

"I will leave."

Ana sat silently. She didn't argue with him to stay. Ana could only think about the look on his face as he hovered over her. His face was so dark and angry. He wanted to hurt her. He would have raped her.

"Ana, do you want me to leave?"

"Yes."

"Fuck."

Ana turned to her husband. "I want you to leave this room for awhile. I need space to relax. Go back to bed, Gideon. Take your damn meds and go back to bed."

Gideon visibly relaxed. She didn't want him to leave their hotel suite. For a few seconds he thought she was throwing him out. "Ana…" He wanted to hold her so much that his arms ached for her. "When you are ready to discuss, I'll be waiting."

She only nodded at him. She watched him slowly go back into the bedroom. She was afraid of him, just like she had been afraid of Christian when he was angry. What is the deal with Doms and her? Why did she attract this sort of man? Was it her small frame and shyness? She had to come to terms with everything including a pregnancy that was not planned. She snuggled into the sofa and stared out the window into the darkness of Seattle. She should have stayed away from this wedding and this city. In her heart she knew it was a mistake. Meeting with Christian had been a mistake thinking that they could have an adult discussion and put away their differences and heartbreak for the people they loved. She wiped away a tear. Why did the night terrors begin again? Was it the stress of having a baby? Did Christian's indulging of information bring this on? Or was it he just forgot his meds? She closed her eyes and tried to relax and let sleep overtake her. She was too tired to try to figure this out. She needed to sleep not just for herself now, but for the precious baby that slept inside her. Her hand went to her stomach. Her baby…Gideon's baby…must be kept safe…sleep…sleep…darkness…peace.