A/N: Three chapters in such a short period of time, wow the world must be ending. Anyway. I know I left you guys off with a huge cliff hanger last time so hopefully you enjoy this chapter as compensation. I'll say more in the author's note at the bottom of the chapter.

Here you go, Chapter 18, Enjoy

Chapter XVIII

Gilbert's POV

After signing in my guitar, I start to look around for Birdie while Opa and West park the car. We took West's today. It's a pale blue vintage Volkswagen, and he worked hard to pay for it and fix it up himself. Anyway, back to looking for Birdie. It seems like it doesn't matter how hard I look for him; he just can't be found. I worry that he didn't come to the art show after all. My worries are calmed, however, when I find his parents. They assure me that he came with them to the show. This knowledge, renews my vigor in searching for him. I finally find him coming out of the room where the visual art students are supposed to drop off their art pieces if they're competing.

I've almost given up on finding him, thinking he's left, when I see him leaving the room. I need to talk to him, at least make sure that he will watch me sing. He needs to stay long enough to hear the song I wrote for him, even if he leaves right after.

"Birdie!" I call out, rushing up and grasping his hand so that he can't run from me. I know I don't have long, because they'll soon be calling everyone to the main room to announce the winners of the competition.

He jumps at my voice and looks at me with scared- no, terrified, wide, lavender eyes.

"Listen, I'm not going to ask you to tell me what happened if you don't want me to. I just want to know that you'll stay long enough to hear my song. I need for you to hear it. Do you promise to stay?" I ask quickly, my heart pounding nervously in my chest.

He gives me a small smile, though I can easily tell that it doesn't reach his eyes, as he replies in that soft, sweet voice of his, "Of course I'll stay to hear you sing Gil. I already promised you that I would, didn't I?"

I frown and hug him, whispering, "I was so worried about you Matthew. It was so unawesome of you to scare the awesome me like that."

Birdie seems to tense up when up hug him but says, "I'm sorry that I worried you Gil. I swear that you won't have to worry about me anymore after today."

The sentence strikes me as odd, and that feeling from that night settles in my stomach. I pull away and look into Birdie's eyes, searching them any possible hidden meaning behind his words.

"Birdie, please promise me that you aren't planning on doing something that you're going to regret," I beg him, my own crimson eyes pleading for him to tell me his plan, whatever it may be.

For a moment, a bit of fear and guilt flashes in his eyes, yet it's gone so fast that I'm left wondering if I even actually saw it there in the first place. He gives me a smile that, yet again, doesn't seem to reach his eyes. He leans up and gives me a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Don't worry, Gil-bear. I'm not going to do anything I'll regret," he tells me.

I just nod my head, not fully reassured, and hug him tightly. "Good."

Suddenly, a voice speaks through the intercom."Everyone, please make their way to the show room. It is now time to announce our winners from each department."

Birdie smiles up at me, saying, 'Well we've got to go. Good luck, Gil-Bear. I promise that I'll listen to your song. Just make sure that you get a good seat to see my painting."

A gentle smile spreads over my lips and I kiss him lovingly, speaking softly, "I wouldn't miss it for the world, mein liebe."

He smiles back at me, placing one last kiss on my lips, before hurrying off to find where the visual arts students are supposed to be.

Everyone is gathering in the large show room. A stage is at one end of the room. The students in the contest sit in the front of the crowd. Dancers are on either side of them. Musicians are directly behind them with the theatre kids. From my spot with the musicians, I have a perfect view of mein Birdie. A microphone is set up front and center on the stage.

After several minutes of people moving around and finding seats, the crowd finally settles down and the Principal of the school walks out to the microphone. He's an older man with a snow white beard and cold, steel grey eyes. He's the great-grandfather of two of the students that go to the school, Ivan and Natasha Braginski. I think that Ivan's grandfather being the principal is the reason that Ivan has never been held accountable for bullying Birdie. Then again, Birdie never told anyone about Ivan bullying him, so I guess no one knew that Ivan deserved to be punished. Anyway, back to the present. The principal taps on the microphone to test it before speaking in a deep, yet somehow gentle voice.

"Families and friends, Welcome to our 24thAnnual School Wide Art show. Students from each of the four arts departments have entered pieces to be judged. They have worked very hard, and each one has done an Amazing job. I shall now hand the Microphone over to Mr. Romulus Vargas, our head visual arts teacher, so that he may announce the winners from the visual arts department."

Principal Winter steps aside as Mr. Vargas practically bounces up to the mic. He's all smiles, and I find myself cracking a small grin, despite how worried I am about Birdie. Mr. Vargas and his grandson, Feliciano, both have that effect on people, and so does Lovino when he's in a good mood and actually smiles, which is extremely rare.

"Ciao! My name, as Principal Winter said, Is Romulus Vargas, and I am here to announce the winners of the Visual arts department."

There's a small round of applause before he continues.

"This year, there were so many fantastic artists, and many wonderful pieces of artwork have been entered into the show. It was extremely hard for our judges to choose the winners. I'm so proud to have had the honor and privilege of being their teacher and getting to watch them grow as artists and as people. I'll start by announcing our top art pieces from each grade then our top piece school wide."

I don't really pay attention to the names being announced or the artwork being shown. I do notice that the top Junior piece isn't Birdie's. I have this feeling in my gut that his piece is going to be in the top three school wide. I've seen some of his artwork and I know that he has the skill to pull it off.

"Now for first prize with best piece school wide. Now folks, I have been teaching for many, many years. I've been in the art world for even longer, and I must say that never before has there been a piece I have seen in my life with more feeling and pure emotion in it than this one. In truth, it brought tears to my eyes," Mr. Vargas says.

"Without further stalling, I would like to invite Junior Matthew Williams Bonnafoy-Kirkland to the stage to show his piece, My Red Eyed Guardian Angel."

I clap loudly and cheer as I watch mein Birdie stand and walk up the steps onto the stage. There is a large canvas wheeled onto the stage covered in a huge black cloth.

Birdie steps up to the piece, and, taking a fistful of the black material, takes a moment to breathe before tearing it away to reveal the painting beneath. There's absolute silence in the room, broken only by the rustling of the black cloth as it falls to the floor.

My breathing stops as I look upon Birdie's painting. It shows the view from someone's eyes as they reach towards an angel. Their hand is reaching out towards the angel, and their wrists are covered in scars and cuts, some old and barely there, others fresh and bleeding. The angel itself, though, is what truly shocks me. I'm the angel. Birdie painted his angel with pale, almost white skin, silver hair, and crimson eyes. On their face is a kind and loving smile. The eyes are so full of love, it almost brings tears to my own eyes. I'm holding my hand for the person to take, pure white wings stretching out gloriously behind me. I can tell that the hand reaching for the angel is meant to be Birdie's. His curl is even painted in just barely. I'm shocked that Birdie would choose to paint me as his angel. I'm not all that great. I just love Birdie, and I do my best to show him just how amazing he is and how much he means to me.

Birdie turns to face the audience, for until now he's been facing the painting. He approaches the microphone and smiles, but as before, I can tell it's not a true smile.

"Hi. I'm Matthew Williams Bonnafoy-Kirkland. I'm the one who painted this piece. I made it to show how much someone means to me. He's really helped to pull me through a dark time. He's helped me more than you could ever imagine, and I wanted to show him just how much he means to me. The person who helped me is my wonderful boyfriend. I love him more than words could ever show, so I'm showing my gratitude and love for him through this painting. I'm honored that it is considered good enough to be awarded Best in the School. It makes me happy to know that it's seen as a good art piece. I just pray that my emotions get through to the one I painted it for. I know that you're in the audience, and you know who you are, and I want to say thank you. I see this painting as my final goodbye to all the pain and hardship that you've saved me from. I want to say farewell to all the pain and leave it behind. I hope that I was able to show this through my painting, and I'm honored that the judges liked it. Thank you," he says, his voice quiet, even through the microphone.

The whole time he is speaking, his eyes stay locked on mine. I can see every emotion that passes through the violet orbs that have captured my heart. It's then that I can tell, this painting isn't just his final goodbye to his pain and his way of showing how much he is grateful to me. No, there's much more. I just know there is, but I don't know what. Either way, I don't like it one bit.

Birdie bows, steps down off the stage, and returns to his seat. There's absolute silence as he does so. Then someone starts to clap, and soon, the whole room is cheering. I stay silent, though, my eyes locked on Birdie's form. Something is definitely not right with mein kliener Birdie, and somehow, I'm going to find out what it is.

Mr. Vargas returns to the microphone and says, "Grazie, Matteo, and I'm sure that whoever the lucky boy is, he will understand your love for him. Now, seeing as I am done with announcing all of the winners for the visual arts department, I would like to introduce Signor Edelstein, the head of our music department."

Romulus steps away from the microphone and walks off the stage as Rodriech approaches the microphone to announce the music department winners. Rodriech already told me that I won best in school, so that I would be prepared to sing when he announced me as the winner. I'll be performing my piece once all the other winners of the grades are announced. I fidget nervously as he grows closer and closer to announcing the school wide winner. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, it's time.

"Now to announce the winner of Best Originally Composed Piece school wide. Before I release their name, I would like to say that I have never heard, in all my years, a song written shows a more pure feeling of caring, devotion, and love in it. I am honored an extremely proud to announce the winner, my younger cousin, Gilbert Beilschmidt, recognized for self composed piece, 'My Everything',"Rodriech says, a pride filled smile on his face.

A polite round of applause goes through the room, but I don't hear it as I stand and approach the stage. I stand facing Rodriech, the stage on one side of me and the crowd on my other side.

Rodriech shakes my hand and says, "Congratulations, Gilbert. I cannot think of a person more deserving of this award than you." Then, dropping his voice to a level that only we can hear, "Also, good luck, I hope that he listens." Rodriech and Elizavetta also know of my dilemma with Birdie, though, like Ludwig and Opa, they only know that he won't talk to me.

Nodding my head I reply in an equally quiet voice, "Thank you, and so do I."

I drop my hand from his as a helper comes out on the stage with a stool and my guitar case. The school said they would provide me with one to play, but I had instead that it had to be mine. I take the guitar case and set it on the ground, taking a quick moment to run my fingers over the pictures on the case, lingering on the one of me and Birdie. I lift the lid and take out my guitar before bringing my index and middle fingers to my lips and pressing them gently on the photo that I have taped to it. He one of me and Birdie, lost in our own little word. I say a silent prayer to mein mutti und Old Man Fritz to help me.

I stand and place the guitar strap over my shoulder. Doing a quick check to make sure that my guitar is properly tuned, I sit on the stool and take a moment to get situated before deciding to just stand, too nervous to play while sitting. I then adjust the microphone to the proper height, before saying, "Hey, my name's Gilbert, as Roddy said, and yeah I am his cousin, but just so you know, he wasn't one of the judges, so I didn't win because of that. Before I play you my song, I want to say that I wrote it for someone who's really special to me."

My eyes quickly scan the room, looking for Birdie. I find him at the very back, by the doors to leave. Our eyes connect, and I begin to play.

Matthew's POV

While Gil's cousin, Mr. Edelstein, is announcing the winners for the top in grade for the music department, the visual arts students are allowed to go and sit with their families. Instead of going to sit with Francis, Arthur, and Alfred, I go to the very back of the room. I stand right in front of the doors leading out into the hallways. This way I can slip out without being noticed as soon as Gil's done with his song.

I listen Mr. Edelstein announce Gilbert as the winner of Best Self-Composed Piece School Wide and applaud as Gil goes up to the stage. He shakes his cousin's hand and then gets his guitar case from the helper who brings it out. He places it on the ground and traces his fingers over the lid for a moment before opening it and taking the guitar out. He kisses his fingers and places them on the picture of us that he has taped there. Seeing him do that makes my hearts tighten.

When he says that he wrote his song for someone special to him, I wonder for a moment if it's me. I haven't heard it yet, so I don't know what to expect. If I had to guess, he probably wrote the song for his brother or his grandfather, or Opa, as Gilbert calls him.

I see him scanning the room, as if searching for something. When his gaze falls upon me, I find myself meeting it with my own. Our eyes stay riveted on each other as he starts to play. (Just a quick note: I suggest listening to the song by Pink, F**king Perfect or just Perfect if you want the censored version, while you read the next part. That's the tune, I just rewrote the lyrics.)

See you standing,

Under open sky.

You're so lonely~,

You wanna cry.

Though you seem fine,

I know you're not,

In so much pain~,

You wanna Die.

You're beautiful, you can't see that yourself.

I will be there for you,

To help you see the truth~.

I care for you,

More than you can ever

See, and I will show you

Every single day~.

You're so wonderful,

So don't ever thing you're not~

Cause I'll show you,

That you are dear.

How can you not see,

How much you mean to me?

You're so much,

You are my~

Everything.

My breath catches in my throat. Gilbert's gaze keeps me frozen in place as he sings. As I listen, I wonder who he had written the song for. Surely he didn't write it for me. I don't deserve to have someone like Gil writing songs for me.

I've seen them,

All your scars.

There's so many~,

They break my heart.

It hurts me,

To know you want,

To end~

You~r life.

Know I care for you

I won't let you end it.

You're too precious to me,

Mein liebe why can't you see?~

You're so tough,

You put up with all this pain,

I will try to free you,

I won't leave you alone.

You're so wonderful~

So don't ever think you're not~.

Cause I'll show you

That you are dear.

How can you not see,

How much you mean to me?

You are so much

You are my~

Everything.

I gasp and my eyes go wide as I listen to the lyrics. When he mentions scars, I know it's for me. Gilbert wrote this song for me. I can't believe he wrote a song just to try and show me how much he cares about me. My lavender eyes glaze over with moisture, but I don't let the tears fall. I make sure that my vision of Gilbert is clear and unhindered by tears so that I don't miss even a second of watching his performance.

I see your fear

Hidden deep inside

All your pain is covered

Deep within your mind.

I wanna help

You, with all this pain.

I won't leave it be

I will be at your side.

I won't let nobody hurt you

And I'll protect you.

Don't forget your dreams

Cause I will be there

Don't change at all

For you are perfect.

Please, tell me what's up.

Please, tell me what's up.

Why won't you tell me?

WHOAAA~

OH Birdie Birdie Babe

You're so amazing!

Don't you ever think you're less than

Pure perfection

Oh yes you are~

You're so awesome babe~

So please don't ever feel like

You're less than

You are my e-ver-

-y-thing

You're lovely,

You're mine

You're so breathtaking.

Don't everything you're less then

Pure perfection.

You are my e-ver-

-y-thing

There's silence as Gilbert plays the last note. He looks straight into my eyes and says, "Birdie, I wrote this song for you. I want to always be at your side to help you, whatever your hardship is. I care for you with all of my heart, and I promise you that I always will. Please let me in so that I can help you. Birdie…Ich liebe dich…I love you."

The tears, which have been filling my eyes the whole time, finally spill over. They roll down my cheeks, and I can almost see the hurt in Gil's eyes as seeing me cry.

It's time for me to go now. It's almost time for me to leave all my pain behind, and soon, Gilbert won't have to worry about me ever again.

I whisper the words, "I'm sorry Gil. Je' Taime aussi," before I slip silently out the door and hurry towards the roof. It's time for me to die.

A/N: Me: *Hides behind Denmark* Please don't kill me! (Denmark is now my partner for these author notes because I got lonely and Denmark is an awesome ex-Viking who can protect me if you guys get really angry and he's really cute and one of my tops countries I would date. Prussia and Canada are off somewhere, I'm not sure where.)

Denmark: *Pats my head* Don't worry Wolf-chan. They won't kill you. You're the author so if the kill you then they don't get an ending to the story.

Me: oh yeah. But still, they can get scary when they're mad. *shivers*

Denmark: *laughs* stop freaking out and tell them about whatever you normally babble on about.

Me: Okay. So yeah thanks to you all for reading. It makes me really happy when I get reviews. Don't worry about sounding annoying, the more odd the review, the more fun I have reading it. Getting the long and the weird ones are my favorites so don't ever hesitate to send one, even if you think you're going to sound really annoying and fan girlish. I don't care and I love all the reviews that you send me.

Denmark: Yeah don't be shy, she seriously loves getting reviews guys so send more, even if you think they'll sound weird, long or annoying.

Me: Also on a more serious note. I put this in a previous author's note but I just want to say it again. Self-Harm is a rally serious issue you guys and I know first hand what it's like to want to hurt myself. I never actually did cut though (at least not intentionally, I'm clumsy and use exacto knives in my artwork sometimes :P). I didn't cut, because I knew that it would hurt the people who love and care about me. If any of you have ever self-harmed, are self-harming, or want to, please don't hesitate for even a second to send me a message. I will listen to anyone's problems, no matter how small and I will do everything in my power to help you, even if you just need a shoulder to cry on or someone to just talk to. I want to help in any way that I can and I promise that I will never judge you. I keep and open mind, and open heart and open arms for anyone who needs a friend, a support, or even just a hug. Please. If you're struggling with something like self-harm, or even just stress form school and family and need someone to vent to, you can always message me and I will listen. I'm not just saying it either. I truly want to help. So please, know that you're not alone and though I may not know any of you, it doesn't mean that I don't care, I do and I will be here for anyone who needs my help. Please, don't try and take the weight onto your own shoulders. I'm here to help share the burden, no matter how small it may be.

Denmark: Now on a lighter note, Wolf-chan really hopes that you liked this chapter despite leaving you with yet another cliffhanger.

Me: I'm sorry! I promise I'll update as soon as I can, though it may not be until after Thanksgiving break because I'm going to Florida to see my grandparents and I don't know if I'll be able to use a computer while I'm there. But don't worry, I'll do my best to get the next chapter out to you guys, ASAP.

Denmark: yeah so please be a little patient. Wolf-chan keeps beating herself up about not being able to get chapters out to you as fast as she wants to but she's working her butt off to get them to you.

Me: Yeah so I hope you like this *looks at page count* Holy crap! 11PAGE chapter. *faints*

Denmark: *Rolls eyes and pouts water on me*

Me: *Sputters and wakes up* Thank you Denmark. As I was saying. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Here as always is a word form my talented, beautiful and fabulous Beta Sakura414:

Talented? Beautiful? Fabulous? Nah, just your friendly neighborhood grammar nazi. ^.^ Anyway, for those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving, be sure to enjoy lots of delicious food! For those of you who don't, have a happy Thursday, and eat lots of delicious food anyway, because food is good. :)

Me: anyway. I have to go and do stuff for my mom. I again hope you enjoyed the chapter and please review. I love them all so much and I reply to every single one (at least the ones that I can reply to). Please keep them coming. They are what keep me writing for you guys.

Denmark: Yup she goes all crazy when she gets them, she loves them so keep 'em coming.

Until next time mein lieblings. Wolf-chan out.