Chapter 22: The Start of New Beginnings

Sonja Mueller watched Kate and Elliot kiss for the first time as husband and wife. When Elliot slowly lifted Kate's veil and gently took both hands to cup her pretty face to kiss her, Sonja knew that she finally wanted to fall in love. Sonja worked for Kavanagh Designs with Kate's mother. She was a designer but also filled in as Danna Kavanagh's Personal Assistant. She was older than Kate by a few years, just hitting her twenty-fifth birthday. Sonja brushed back her dark red hair that kept falling into her emerald green eyes. She was smiling as Elliot kept kissing Kate even though the Minister was clearing his voice and the audience was cheering and applauding the newly married couple. Sonja watched as the Matron of Honor handed the Bride her flowers and then the happy couple made their way down the aisle. She watched as Ana took her place by the Best Man for their escorted walk down the aisle. She was intrigued by these two. Sonja knew that they used to be engaged but now Ana was married to some gorgeous man from New York City. By the way Christian was looking at her; he still had feelings for this woman. She put them both out of her mind as she concentrated in walking in these very uncomfortable shoes.

Christian and Ana were all smiles at the photographer took pictures of them. Most people saw a couple happy to be together for the marriage of their friend and brother, but inside, each was fighting their own struggles. Christian was battling the ever-growing desire to throw Ana over his shoulder and run out of the place with her, and Ana was just trying to keep her food down. She maintained her smile until they reached the hallway then she tore away from Christian and ran to the nearest restroom not caring if it was the men's or women's facilities. Christian had seen how pale she was coming and he knew what was going on when she slapped her hand over her mouth and ran. He followed her into the bathroom to hear her getting sick. He took paper towels and wetted them and then joined her in the stall. He tenderly cleaned around her mouth being careful with her makeup.

"There, you feel a little better?" He asked tenderly.

"Why do they call it morning sickness? If I remember correctly isn't this considered evening now?"

Christian had to chuckle. He didn't much experience with pregnant women except for what he learned in health classes at school. "Let me help you up. Mom can tell you what you need to get through this evening."

"Thank you, Christian. You didn't need to do this." She was still a little queasy. She took deep breaths to try to calm her stomach. He was still holding her up while she got her bearings. "I think I can walk now."

"Just let me help you." He said lowly. His arm went around her waist. He remembered this so well. The touch of her body brought back all his memories with this woman and the love he still had for her. "Gideon is a lucky man…with you having his kid."

"It was a shock to us." She said lowly but with a tiny smile.

"You keeping it?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I keep my husband's baby?" She asked frowning at him. Was he trying to suggest something or was he just an insensitive jerk?

"You said it was a shock."

"You know the best gifts are usually surprises, Christian. We sometimes don't know we want something until it's given to us…and then some don't even appreciate the gift until the gift is no longer theirs."

"I always appreciated you, Anastasia. I just didn't realize how easy it was to lose you."

"I'm not coming back. I belong with Gideon." She said bluntly.

"I know. He won yet again." Christian replied sadly.

"It's not a manner of winning. I am not some prize for you two to compete for. Damn it, Christian I am a human being, a woman of flesh and blood with feelings that you seem to keep hurting!" She broke down into tears. She pushed him away when he tried to console her. "Why do you have such little regard for me?"

"Oh, baby…that's not true. Yes, I'm an insensitive prick most of the time, but I never wanted to hurt you."

"But, you did."

"You hurt me also." He said sadly. "When you left Escala, when you left for New York, every fucking time I saw a photo of you and Cross, when you married him, and now…you are having his baby."

Ana swallowed her sobs hard. "It's for the best that we broke up. We would only continue to hurt each other." She wiped away her tears. "You take the West Coast and I will stay on the East Coast and maybe someday the pain we have caused each other will subside."

Christian gave a sharp nod then opened the door for her. Most of the guests had filed out of the chapel room and were being escorted to the bar for drinks as the Wedding Party took photographs. Christian escorted Ana back into the chapel where Gideon was waiting standing against the wall with his long legs crossed at the ankle. He shoved himself off the wall and slowly approached his wife and her escort.

"Cross, your wife is suffering from morning sickness." Christian said as he handed her over to him before Ana could say a word. She casted him a nasty look because he said it loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. Kate flew down the aisle and took Ana into her arms.

"You're pregnant? And, just when were you going to tell me?" Kate began laughing. "I do expect to be Godmother and be called the favorite Auntie."

"Kate, you are crushing me." Ana said smiling. "Listen, I am just nine weeks along. I don't want it announced to the world yet." She looked about the room to see the Kavanagh and Grey families lovingly staring at her. "Yes, Gideon and I are expecting, but we were trying to keep it under wraps so not to take any thunder from you and Elliot."

"Screw that, Steele! We are having a baby." Kate squealed.

"Her last name is Cross and what's this we stuff." Gideon joked as Kate gave him a hug in celebration.

"People, people, people…please…we need the all of the Wedding Party for photos." A voice called out.

Kate was all smiles as she led Ana away. This was a great day! She was now Mrs. Elliot Grey and her best friend was going to have a baby! She looked to Elliot as they stood together. He kissed her on the nose. "I want a baby." She confessed ever so softly.

Elliot's eyes gleamed in sexual delight. "Can I try a little later this evening? We seem to have a party to attend."

"Oh, you!" Kate cried nudging his shoulder and shaking her head.

"Everyone smile!" Flash, flash, flash!

All the wedding celebrations were wonderful from the sit-down dinner to the cutting of the cake and the toasts given by Christian and Ana. Elliot offered his hand to his lovely bride and escorted her to the dance floor for their first dance. He chose Nina Simone's I Put A Spell On You for their dance. They looked perfect together. He kissed on her and hugged her close as his hands moved down to her shapely bottom and gave them a light squeeze. Elliot gave the crowd their money's worth when at the end of the song he dipped Kate and gave her that long luscious Hollywood kiss that sent their guests into whoops and hollers and a few wolf whistles. The music changed to a country tune that Kate's dad chose for the Daddy/Daughter dance, I Loved Her First. With tears in his eyes Richard Kavanagh took his only daughter into his arms and danced. He whispered to her how beautiful she was and how proud that he was of his daughter. After that dance was over the Bride and Groom were reunited on the dance floor and their wedding party was invited to dance with them to Frank Sinatra's The Way You Look Tonight. Christian took Ana in his arms. He knew that Gideon was watching them closely. He moved gracefully with her in his arms and savored every moment because he knew this would be their last dance. She would leave the next day with her husband and return to her life in New York to prepare for the birth of her baby.

"I'm sorry about letting the cat out of the bag." He whispered to her.

"No, you're not. You were being nasty." She said lowly. She could feel the electricity that was always felt when they touched. It wasn't love she knew for her heart belonged to Gideon, but it was pure lust. She knew that his body would always be a temptation. Their relationship had been an emotional train-wreck but sex had been great between them unless he went too far and caused pain. "You will be nice to Kate?"

He shrugged. "I guess I have to now that she is my sister-in-law."

"She's a good woman, Christian, she just too dominant for your tastes."

"As long as she makes Elliot happy then I will be civil to her." He twirled her around and brought her close into his body. He knew she could feel his erection. He lowered his voice and whispered into her ear. "Feel what you do to me. Here you are married and pregnant with another man's child and I still want to fuck you."

Ana tried to pull away but he held her tight. "Don't Christian. Move on. It's time for you to move on. I want you to move on. You deserve to love and be loved" The song ended and stepped away from him. "Goodbye Christian."

Gideon waited for his wife to return to his side. He gathered her close and kissed her softly. "You okay, Goddess?"

"Yes, I am." She smiled up at him. "Gideon, I love you."

His smile lit up her heart. "I want you so much right now."

Her blue eyes twinkled. "I know." She said with her flirty voice. "Maybe we could find a broom closet somewhere."

With a chuckle Gideon took her hand and led her from the ballroom and into the room that the Bride's party used to dress in. He closed and locked the door. "You are wearing too many clothes, Mrs. Cross, but I think I can navigate around this beautiful dress." He picked her up scrunching her gown up nearly to her waist as he kissed her hard. He placed her on the sofa that was used earlier today by the bridesmaids to relax and wait for the wedding. His hands slid up and down her silk stockings then with an ornery smile he snapped her garter straps. "Sweetheart, I do love these silk stockings. So fucking sexy to see and feel." His hand slid up to find that she wasn't wearing any panties. "Mrs. Cross…how naughty of you to forget your panties, but it makes me one lucky man." His head dipped down to suckle on her clit causing her to cry out in pleasure. His tongue swirled around the swollen nub then he licked her clean. She was coming already. His fingers slid into her warmth and brought her once again. He needed her sloppy wet and soft because he had to have her hard and fast. Within seconds his trousers were undone and he was plunging deep into her. He thrust hard and deep taking her over the edge. "Oh, wife…you feel so damn good…so tight…my woman. Love….yes, fuck that cock…yeah Ana!" He grabbed her hips and pulled her up off the sofa and went deeper into her. "Ana…I'm so close…"

"Yes, Gideon…just a little more…harder." She cried out. She reached up and grabbed his ass and pushed him harder into her. "Yes…yes…oh…God…Yes." She fell. The stars twirled around her as her orgasm washed over her body.

Gideon could feel her body tighten and clinch down on his throbbing cock. He pushed into her a few more times and exploded inside her. "Oh, Ana…Ana…my Ana." He yelled as he kept ejaculating into her. He fell into her softness. "Woman, you are everything to me and for me."

"Gideon, oh God…that was amazing." She gasped. Her lips found his and she kissed him over and over again.

"Fuck!" Christian said aloud. He seen Gideon led Ana out of the ballroom and he knew exactly what they were doing. Hell, he would have done the same thing! If Ana was still his, they would be in the Bride's room making love. It would be his name she cried out instead of Cross's. I must be a sick bastard to keep going back to the pain. She's done with me. I fucked it up. Why in the hell did I follow them? God, help me! Help me get over her!

Sonja Mueller just wanted to get out these shoes that she was sure was made for torture. She sat down at a table and discreetly toed them off. She sighed in relief. She sat back and watched people which were one of her favorite things to do. Elliot and Kate were snuggled together on the dancefloor in their own little bubble. Carrick and Grace were making the rounds talking to the guests, but she did notice that Carrick's hand never left the small of the back of his wife. Mia was dancing with some unknown man and Ana and Gideon just walked back into the ballroom. Sonja noticed that Ana's dress was wrinkled and her hair was disheveled and poorly restyled. She had to smile knowing that they had snuck off for some private time. Her attention went to the bar where the bestman stood slamming back drink after drink. She slowly approached him. She knew from Kate that Christian Grey was a mess of a man. He was dark, cold, and heartless especially now that he lost the only woman he had ever loved. He was pouring bourbon from the bottle that he ordered the bartender to leave when she took the glass, reached behind the bar and poured the amber liquid into the barsink. "You've had enough." She said sternly. "I've been watching you and I get it…you are hurt, but this isn't the answer. It will only make things worse."

"Fuck off." Christian said acidly. Who was this little bitch who dared to take his drink and give him a lecture about his drinking?

"I know you are hurting, but this isn't the answer. I know Mr. Grey, I know all about pain and alcohol."

"How would you know anything?" His gray eyes were cold and narrow.

Sonja offered her hand. "Hello, my name is Sonja and I am an alcoholic. I have been sober for two years."

Christian looked down at the offered hand. His eyes traced up her arm to a face that showed concerned. She had lovely green eyes that were set off by her dark red hair. "You are a bridesmaid."

"Yes, I'm a friend of Kate's."

"Her best-friend used to be my fiancé, but I fucked it up." He felt the familiar numbness that he was searching for. The bourbon helped to take the edge off his pain.

"Yes, I know. Ana is a delightful person."

"She is beautiful…and she belongs to him." His eyes closed. "I still…but it doesn't matter, does it?"

"Mr. Grey…Christian…I think you should go home. This isn't the place for you now."

"I can't go home. I don't have a home…he stole my home." Christian grabbed the bottle and drank straight from it. He didn't care that his loud voice had caught the attentions of the wedding guests.

"Let me take you home before you embarrass yourself and your family." Sonja offered.

Christian leered at her. She was pretty with a nice figure. He wondered if she could take a flogger to her ass. "Sooo, you want to take me home…will you f..fuck me?"

Sonja always prided herself on her self-control and patience with difficult people. The twelve-step program had helped her to put her life in order and keep it in order. However, his crude words slapped her in the face with insult when she was just trying to help him. With all her strength she slapped his face. They were in a Mexican standoff staring at each other. Christian finally broke the stare when he felt his face.

"You slapped me?" He asked shocked.

"Yeah, you deserved it." Sonja whispered. "You are being an asshole for no reason. I was just trying to keep your family from being publically embarrassed by your drunkenness."

"You should apologize." He was acting like a child complete with a pout.

Sonja gave him a look that said "Are you kidding"? She took the bottle and placed it in front of him. "Go ahead drink yourself into every gossip rag in the country." She turned around and left him. She chastised herself because she knew that you couldn't help someone unless they truly wanted it.

Christian's brain was slow. He looked at the bottle that sat before him and the retreating young woman that stood up to him and slapped him soundly. He pushed the bottle away and turned to see where his guardian angel had gone. He spotted her sitting at a table struggling to put her shoes back on. He staggered a bit before he found his center of balance. He reached her as she stood. "I owe you…I'm sorry… an apology." His words were scrambled. He tried again but Sonja stopped him.

"Good evening, Mr. Grey." She walked away leaving Christian alone in his misery.

Christian felt strong hands take his shoulder and guide him from the reception. Without looking he knew it was Taylor. No words were spoken as Christian was escorted from his own club. He wasn't aware that his parents had asked Taylor to take him home so the Bride and Groom could be spared any ugliness in case Christian kept to his M.O. and he turned violent.

Taylor was nearly dragging Christian from the elevator toward the car when Christian looked up to see that red-head that slapped him. She was getting into her car to leave. "That's her, Taylor, that woman slapped me."

"I'm sure you deserved it."

"Pffftttt, I didn't. She wanted to take me home." He laughed to loud. "I should have gone with her. I could be getting fucked right now."

"Sir, you are fucked right now." Taylor mumbled.

"You know, you are getting p…pr…pretty mouthy lately." Christian was smiling for some silly reason. His feet were feeling like lead and he was leaning more and more on Taylor. His attention then went to music that was playing somewhere. "Music…let's dance, Taylor. I'll lead."

"Sir, please…let's just get you home and I'll dance with you all night if you want. We don't want any paps getting a photo of you in this condition."

"Fucking paps!" Christian scowled. "They make my life hell."

"Yes, Sir, I know. Look we are at the car. Let's get you buckled in." Taylor was shaking his head. This had been one hell of a night. Drunken Christian was funny tonight, but Taylor knew that could change at any time. He had to pick up Christian's leg and place it in the car. Taylor grasped the seatbelt and got it buckled. With a deep and heavy sigh Taylor shut the door praying that Christian would just pass out.

Taylor went around the car to get in when he saw the red-head standing by her car with her hands on her hips and shaking her head. With his trained eye to take in everything with a sweep he saw that she had a flat-tire. He knew he couldn't leave the girl here without some assistance. He looked into the back of the Audi SUV to see that Christian was indeed passed out. Taylor locked the doors and ran over to help the girl.

"Can I be of assistance, Ma'm?" Taylor asked.

"Oh, you frightened me." She held her hand to her chest. She stepped back a few steps then she recognized this man who she was told was Grey's security. "Taylor, correct?"

"Yes, Ma'm."

"I've called Road Side Assistance already. I'm just waiting." She showed him her cell phone.

"You could wait in the Audi. I know this is a secure building, but it's still not safe for a lone woman to be here in a garage at night." He smiled trying to convey to her that he meant her no harm. He offered his hand. "Please, Miss Mueller, for my piece of mind. If I leave you here and something happens, I would never forgive myself."

"You know my name?" She asked taking his hand and following him to the SUV.

"I took care of security for the Grey/Kavanagh Wedding." Taylor unlocked the door and opened it for her and placed her in the front seat. "Don't worry about Mr. Grey, Ma'm, he is passed out."

After Taylor went around the car and climbed into the driver's seat, Sonja took a peek at the snoring Mr. Grey. She shook her head in disgust. "Does he do this much? You know get drunk?"

"At times." Taylor couldn't say much. "He's been dealing with a loss."

"Not too well I take it."

Taylor only nodded. The girl said a mouthful. Christian did not deal well with any kind of loss whether it was a business loss or personal loss. "It was a lovely wedding." He said to change the subject.

"It was lovely." She looked forward and tried to forget the drunken man behind her snoring now very loud. "Does he…Is he an alcoholic?"

"No, Ma'm. He's just having a hard time."

Sonja nodded. "I know about Ana. I mean Ana and I know each other. I know that he loved her. It's too bad that they couldn't make it work."

"Yeah, it is." Taylor said knowing how good Ana had been Christian. She made him human.

They sat in silence listening to Christian breathe heavily and mumble in his sleep. Every now and then Ana's name could be heard. The sobs then began. Sonja turned around worried that he was getting sick. She was up on her knees when she heard the retching begin. "Oh, God…he's getting sick."

"Fuck!" Taylor yelled. This night just keeps worse and worse. Jason Taylor needed a vacation!

xxxXXXxxx

Taylor sat at the breakfast bar staring into the Great Room. Christian was safely in his bed and thankfully asleep. He knew he should go to bed especially since Gail was in there waiting for him, but he wanted to make sure that Christian was really down for the count. At least they survived the wedding and all the drama. Maybe, now that Ana and Gideon will be returning to New York, Christian could finally move on. Taylor kept thinking about that Sonja Mueller. She had been a great help when Christian was puking his guts up in the SUV. She had a quiet strength about her and she already proved that she wasn't afraid of Christian. Hell, she slapped him! Taylor's mind was running with different scenarios. He knew where Sonja lived and where she worked. He also knew that she wasn't dating anyone because she came to the wedding alone and he had read her background report. She was twenty-five years old, never married, graduate of Oregon State, a clothes designer and she was a personal assistant to Mrs. Kavanagh. He actually admired the young woman who was an admitted alcoholic and had been sober for two years. She managed to turn her life around after spending two years at the bottom of a vodka bottle. After doing some research, Taylor learned that Sonja had seen her boyfriend murdered and it sent her to drinking.

"Jason, come to bed." Gail said softly as she wrapped her arms about his neck and pressed her body into his back. "It's late."

Taylor patted her arm that embraced him. "Yeah, it's been one hell of a day." He stood up, turned to her and brought her close. "All I want to do right now is bury me in you." He kissed her hard.

Christian woke up and cussed the first thing because his head felt like it was going to explode. He stumbled from his bed into the bathroom to take a leak. As he pissed he thought about the night before. Elliot was married, Ana was pregnant, and he got drunk. Yeah, that about covered it! He could taste bourbon and vomit in his mouth. He didn't remember getting sick. Hell, he didn't remember getting home last night. He tried to concentrate but all he could see was that girl that slapped him. Sonja! He remembered her. She was the little bitch who tried to take his bourbon away. "If she was here, I would beat and fuck her ass until she couldn't walk the next day!" He nearly fell over when he tried to flush so he gave up and went back to bed. He would sleep off this hangover and pray that the next time he woke up he would feel better.

The dreams were sweet. He was in a meadow with a little red-headed girl who was running through wildflowers laughing and yelling, "Catch me, Daddy! Catch me!" The dream shifted and he saw a woman with red hair standing near a window with the sun on reflecting in her beautiful long mane of hair. Did she have green eyes? Who was she? The same little girl who was running in the meadow ran to the woman calling her Mommy. Christian shot up out of bed holding his chest. "Sonja!"

Christian padded into the kitchen looking for food. He was starving. He poured a cup of coffee and sat down at the island. He knew Gail would show up soon. He heard footsteps but knew they were too heavy for Gail. He smiled weakly at Taylor.

"Good Morning, Sir." Taylor said.

"If you say so." Christian had hoped to sleep off his hangover but his plan failed. "Taylor did I ask you to dance last night?"

The big burly bodyguard blushed as he nodded. "You said you would lead."

"Fuck." He looked away embarrassed. "Did I pass out?"

"Yes, sir you did in the Audi. You also got sick everywhere so the Audi is out getting cleaned up." Taylor stood straight with his hands clasped behind his back. "There will also be a dry-cleaning charges for Miss Mueller's dress."

"What…who?"

"You got sick all over Miss Mueller last night and I said that you would want to pay for the dry-cleaning."

Christian sat up and looked around the room and into the Great Room. He pointed to upstairs. "Is she here?"

"Um…no sir." Taylor said shaking his head.

"Oh thank fuck!"

"There is one thing though…" Taylor had a small smile playing at his lips. "You still owe me a dance."

"Ha, Ha, Ha. Very funny, Jason." Christian went back to drinking his coffee. "Besides, you're not my type."