Chapter 24: I Can't Let Go

Christian stood in the middle of his living room checking and rechecking his wristwatch. She is late and he hates late. They shared a few lunch dates and spoke on the phone but tonight was a dinner date. Gail made some chicken dish and the wine was on ice. He looked to his watch one more time. Maybe Sonja changed her mind. He should have sent a car for her instead of letting her drive to Escala. He looked around the room. Everything was in place, flowers, candles, wine glasses and the paperwork. He would give her the same NDA and contract that he offered all the other subs. He didn't know if she would accept his offer, but he had hope. He knew he couldn't offer her what he gave to Ana. As lovely as Sonja was, she wasn't Ana. She was fun to be with. But, he would always love Ana. He would never let anyone in as he let her.

Sonja stood before him reading through the contract. She already signed the NDA before they sat down to a meal. She shook her head and handed the contract back to him.

"You are one sick son-of-a-bitch." She whispered to him. "I would never let you or anyone treat me like this. Did you try this shit with Ana? No wonder she left you." Sonja looked at him like he was the devil incarnate. "Good bye, Mr. Grey."

Christian let her go. There were other women and he knew where to look for Subs. If he couldn't have Ana, he didn't want anything else from a woman except contracts, terms, and their submission. He stood before the floor to ceiling windows and stared out at the night skyline of Seattle.

"I will always love you, Ana. Always." He whispered. He closed his eyes. He could still see her smiling, smell her delicate special scent that drove him crazy and her taste was still embedded in his memory. He would have a string of subs and wait for her to return to him. He could only love one woman and that woman lived in New York City with her husband awaiting the birth of their first child.

Sonja sat in her car in the basement garage of Escala. She couldn't believe that Christian Grey, ultra-rich and ultra-handsome, was in the BDSM lifestyle. She couldn't believe that he thought she would accept his offer. Sonja started her car and pulled out into Seattle traffic and made a decision to forget Christian Grey and move on with her life.

Kate began to laugh and cry at the same time. She yelled for Elliot.

"What is it?" Elliot asked as he stepped out of their kitchen.

"It's Gideon. Ana's in labor."

"Oh, my god." Elliot began to laugh. They had just returned from New York City and he couldn't believe how big and beautiful Ana was. Even pregnant, that woman only got more beautiful. "We left too soon."

"She is dilated four so it can take a few more hours." Ana informed her husband. Her hand went to her own little baby bump. She was going into her second trimester.

Elliot took the phone from his wife. "Gideon, give that little girl a big hug and kiss from me. Tell her that Uncle Elliot and Aunt Kate will be sending gifts." He laughed as Gideon laughed.

Kate took the phone back. "Hey, I will keep the phone on me. Call us when Matthias is born and take tons of pics." They hung up and she turned to her handsome husband. "Ana's having her baby."

Elliot lost his smile. "Oh, god…Christian. When he learns about this he will probably start drinking again."

Gideon paced and then he sat. When the contractions came faster and longer he stood beside the bed and held his wife's hand and massaged her back. Ten hours later she was completely dilated and ready to push.

"Now, Ana…I want you to push." Dr. Lanie Wright said as she positioned herself between Ana's legs. "Gideon you give her all the support she needs. You practiced this in Lamaze classes. Push, Ana…one…two…three…four…five…breathe. Okay…again…take a deep breath and push…one…two…three…four…five … six…seven…eight…nine…ten…breathe." The doctor looked up at the monitors and then back to the parents with a smile. "We are doing fine, kids. Another big push, Ana…you are getting closer…I can see the head…take a big breathe, push Ana…one…two…three…STOP" The doctor stood kicking her wheeled stool across the room. "Don't push, Ana."

Ana screamed in pain as the contractions came one right after another. "I have to push." She cried.

"Don't push, Ana…let me take care of the cord." Dr. Wright moved quickly to dislodge the umbilical cord from around Baby Cross's neck." She nodded at the nurse to have the oxygen ready. "Okay, Ana…this is it. PUSH! Keep pushing…the shoulders are coming….oh…look at all that black hair…push Ana…one more hon…You can do it."

Ana bore down and screamed as she gave all her might for the big push. As the baby pass through, Ana fell back on Gideon. Her long dark hair was plastered to her head and sweat beads ran down between her breasts.

The sound of a baby's cries filled the room. Gideon was pale but he smiled with tears in his eyes when Dr. Wright presented the baby after giving him a few puffs of oxygen. The baby was placed on Ana's belly. "Hey, Daddy, you want to cut the cord." Dr. Wright handed the scissors to Gideon. "Just cut between the clamps." Gideon cut through the spongy material that tethered mother and son. One of the nurses wrapped a warmed receiving blanket around the little dark haired baby and placed him into his mother's arms.

Ana was crying when she gazed upon the face of her and Gideon's son. Matthias Raymond Cross was born with a head-full of black hair. He was his father's son. Anyone who gazed at the newborn knew that Gideon Cross was the father of this baby.

Kate was screaming in joy and jumping around the kitchen of her home. "She's delivered!" Kate declared stepping into the living room to tell Elliot. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Christian standing in the foyer speaking to Elliot. "Oh, hello Christian." She said lowly.

"Kate." He said sternly. He could read the animosity in her eyes that she felt for him. "You are looking well." Her hand went to her baby bump as if protecting her precious child from his evilness. "I just needed to run a few things past Elliot."

"You could have called." She said lowly. Her heart was racing in excitement and she wanted to tell her husband that their godson had been born. "Elliot when you are done, find me. We have things to discuss."

"This won't take long, Kate." Christian offered. He didn't exactly hate Kate; he just found everything about her annoying. He didn't know how his older brother could live with this demanding female. She was the original ball-buster!

Elliot sighed in relief when Christian left. He found his wife in the kitchen eating. "So…what is it?"

"Ana and Gideon had their little boy, Matthias Raymond Cross. He weighed 8lbs and 10 oz, measured 21 inches long and Gideon says he has a head full of black hair and blue eyes." Kate had tears in her eyes. "We are godparents, Elliot. They want us to be godparents to Matthias."

Elliot gathered his wife into his arms. He knew these were happy tears and of course, her hormones were wild. "You know we are going to have to figure out baby names."

"Ava Rose for a girl." She said. "You can choose the boys' name, but I know we are having a girl."

"I like the name Conner for a boy." He gave her a gentle kiss. "I take it that Ana and baby are fine."

"Gideon says she is perfect as always, his exact words." Kate looked up into her husband's loving eyes. "He loves her so much. I still can't believe she is with him…I always thought she would come back to Christian."

"As much as I love my brother, he's so screwed up." Elliot held his wife close. "Ana is happy with Gideon and he can give her everything she needs and wants. I don't think Christian could do that with all his issues. It's best that Ana found Gideon."

"Gideon says that Ana wants to bring the baby to Montesano to be baptized in her childhood church. They will get back to us on the dates and times."

"So, they are coming back with their child. Maybe if we are lucky, Christian will be out of the state."

Gideon stood in front of the nursery and gazed upon his black haired son. Holy Fuck! I'm a father. I'm someone's Dad. This little person depends on me to keep him safe and to keep his mother happy. Oh, Ana…our son is so beautiful! My heart is so full…I am happy. Gideon placed his head against the glass. Their son was perfect. He smiled. This was the greatest day of his life. His phone starts to vibrate and he answers it.

"Hello." His voice is deep and full of emotion.

"Gideon, it's Ireland. Kate called me…why didn't you call me?"

"I'm sorry, Ireland…I'm just a little bit off today. Come down to the hospital. You need to meet your nephew."

"How's Ana? Is she alright?"

His swarthy smile only grew. "My beautiful wife is perfect. She's resting right now."

"Congratulations, Gideon. I am so happy for you and Ana." Ireland stated with a small sob. She was amazed how happy her oldest brother was. "Can I tell Mom?"

"If you must."

"Gideon…"

"Listen, tell Mom, but I don't want her here. I don't want Ana upset."

Gideon hung up before Ireland could start to argue with him. He had his reasons to keep his mother away from Ana and Matthias. He didn't trust her. He would never entrust that woman with his child. She couldn't protect him from a child molester nor would she believe him when he begged for help. He would never let her put his son in danger. He went back to the window and stared at his son. "Matthias, I love you so much and I swear no one will ever hurt you. No one!"