A/N: yeah so here's the next chapter you guys. Sorry but it's not really that interesting, more of a filler but I hope that you enjoy it anyway.

Disclaimer.: I do not own Hetalia. That glorious duty belonGs to the Himapapa

Well enjoy, Chapter XXIII (23)

Chapter XXIII

Gilbert's POV

When we get to the door to Birdie's hospital room, I stop. Turning to face Francis, Arthur, and Alfred, I say, "Just so you're a little prepared, Matthew doesn't exactly look his best."

"Its okay, Gilbert. We will be fine. No matter what state Matthew is in, he is a part of our family and we love him unconditionally," Arthur replies.

I smile and nod, opening the door to let them in. Birdie is on the bed, watching the doctors as they set up to do some tests. He looks up at the sound of the door opening, smiling when he sees me. His smile turns shy, though, and he looks down at his hands in his lap when his family enters the room behind me. I go to Matthew's side, wrap one of my arms around him, and kiss the side of his head.

"Its okay, Birdie. They're not mad at you at all," I assure him.

His family comes forward and stands at his other side. Francis reaches out and tucks a bit of Matthew's hair behind his ear.

He softly asks, "How are you feeling, mon petite Mattieu?"

"Better," Birdie replies in a small voice.

"What Gilbert said is true, Matthew; we're not angry with you. Not at all," Arthur tells him, taking one of Birdie's hands gently in his own.

"Yeah, bro, we're not mad, just surprised. How come you never told us about your bullying problem? I could have helped to get rid of it for you. Even if it's Ivan, I don't care; no one ever bullies my baby bro," Alfred pipes in. Strange as it seems, Alfred and Ivan are an unlikely pair of friends. If one were to just meet them, they would assume that they wanted to murder each other. Matthew told me that that was the case when the two had first met, but the hate ended up growing into some weird form of friendship between the two. He also told me that he thinks his brother has a crush on the Russian, even if Alfred hasn't realized it himself yet.

"I…I-I didn't want you to worry about me, and I didn't want to ruin your friendship with Ivan," Birdie tells them, hanging his head in shame. I rub his back in a comforting manner.

Arthur lifts Matthew's chin and says, in a stern, yet gentle voice, "Matthew Williams Bonnefoy-Kirkland, we are your family. It's our job to worry about you. We love you very much, and all we want is for you to be happy. I know that it feels like you're alone, but I assure you, you're not."

Mathew looks at him, a bit confused, asking, "How did you know that I felt that way? I didn't even put that in my letter to Bear."

With a sad smile, Arthur says, "Have I ever told you how I met your papa?"

Matthew shakes his head no.

"Well, let's just say this is a large sense of déjà vu for me, though I guess now I'm seeing it from the other side of the conversation," Arthur tells him, rolling up his sleeves to reveal old, faded scars running up his forearms. Matthew and Alfred both gasp, looking at their parents in shock.

"W-why?" Matthew stutters.

"I felt alone. I was bullied, like you. It made me feel alive. I tried to end my life, believing that no one would care. I was lucky that someone noticed I wasn't myself that day, and cared enough to stop me. They saved me, and showed me that I was truly loved," Arthur explains.

"Who was it? You know, the person who saved you," Alfred asks, his eyes wide and curious.

Arthur smiles and just looks at Francis, "It wasn't till he saved me from myself that I was able to see that he wasn't just making it up when he said he loved me."

Matthew looks at Francis with wide eyes. "It was you?"

Francis smiles and nods his head, replying, "Oui. I was more scared than I'd been in my entire life when I found mon petite lapin bleeding out on his bathroom floor. No doubt Gilbert knows how I felt. He was, after all, the one who found you on the roof."

"I nod my head, saying quietly, "I've never felt such terror in my life. Not even when I almost died in that car crash all those years ago."

Birdie turns to look at me, full of tears.

"Oh Bear, I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I just wanted the pain to stop," he sobs and clings to my shirt. Smiling softly I stroke his hair gently.

"Shhh, shhh. It's okay, Birdie. I'm not mad, nor am I upset; none of us are, and now we can help you. We can make the pain stop. Ivan and Carlos will never harm you again," I comfort him as I hold him gently in my arms. "We're all here for you, liebe. It's our turn to protect you now, where before, we were unable to."

Matthew looks up at me, then to his family, who smile lovingly back at him. He's shaking, and tears stream down his face. This time, though, I don't think that they're tears of sadness, but of joy.

"Thank you…so much. How…how could I have been so blind as to not see that I have people who love me?"

"Its okay, Birdie. You see it now, and that's all that matters," I tell him, my eyes full of love as I look into his beautiful lavender orbs.

"Oh, bear," he whispers. "I've been so stupid. Please forgive me."

"I already told you, Birdie. I was never even angry to begin with," I say, gently pressing my lips against his. After a bit, the doctor clears her throat. Matthew and I pull apart, blushing furiously. She chuckles and says, "As touching as this moment is, I would like to run a few tests that will let us know if there is any permanent damage."

"Can Gilbert stay with me for the tests?" Matthew asks, clearly nervous as he holds tightly to my hand.

"Of course; your family may stay as well. I actually wanted them to be here, because once I'm done with the tests, I have a few questions I need to ask you to help determine what sort of help you'll be needing from here on out to ensure that this won't happen again. It would be very helpful if they could be here for that."

"We'll definitely stay," Francis tells her.

"Excellent. Now, I'm going to draw some blood so that we can check for blood poisoning or any kind of virus that he may have contracted that has the potential to hurt him while his immune system is so weak," she explains. Birdie looks a bit scared at the idea.

"You okay, Birdie?" I ask him.

"I don't like needles," he admits, blushing. I chuckle and wrap an arm around his waist.

"It'll be okay, liebe. I'm right here with you and so is your family. You'll be perfectly fine," I assure him. He smiles up at me and leans against my chest a bit.

"Merci, Bear." It makes me so happy to hear him using his nickname for me again.

"No problem, Birdie," I reply, kissing the top of his head. I hold him close and hold his free hand, stroking his knuckles with my thumb as the doctor cleans the area of skin on the inside of his elbow. As she gently slides the needle into Matthew's arm, I can feel him tense against me and hear him give a slight whimper. I kiss him temple and whisper low enough so that only he can hear me, "Shh. It's okay, Birdie. I'm right here next to you. You're doing great; you're being strong."

The doctor takes three vials of blood and gently removes the needle, pulling another whimper from Matthew's lips. She places a guaze pad over the spot where a tiny drop of blood is welling up and secures it with some medical tape, announcing, "All done. Your arm might be sore for a bit, but it shouldn't last for more than a day or two."

Matthew breathes a sigh of relief and visibly relaxes when she announce that she's finished. I give him a hug and place a kiss on his cheek.

"You did awesome Birdie," I tell him.

He smiles up at my and replies, "Merci, Bear. Having you here helped a lot."

My heart warms at hearing that, and I say quietly, "I'm glad I can help."

The doctor quickly goes through looking at all of Matthew's vitals; listening to his heartbeat, checking that his IVs are working properly, etc. When she's done with that, she says, "Okay, I would now like to ask Matthew a couple of questions. This is to help us see how severe Matthew's depression is and it helps up to decide if he needs to be placed in a specialized facility to help him get better. That is only if it is necessary, however. Now, I already said this, but I think it would be best if you, his family and perhaps Mr. Beilschmidt, should be here, since it may help to have you answer questions that Matthew may not be able to answer himself. If Matthew wishes, however, I can ask him the questions while the rest of you wait in the hall. Whatever would make Matthew more comfortable."

Arthur places a hand on Birdie's shoulder and asks, 'Would you like us to go in the hall, Matthew?"

Matthew shakes his head, replying, "I would like it if you guys and Gil could be here."

"If you're sure that is what you want, Mattieu," Francis tells him.

"I'm sure. I want you all to be here," Birdie assures them, his grip on my hand tightening a bit.

I gently squeeze back. "We'll be right beside you," I promise. Matthew sends me a greatful smile and then turns to face the doctor again.

"Ask away."

She smiles and begins. "When was the first time you self-harmed?"

"I was twelve years old, if my memory serves me correctly," Birdie answers.

"What pushed you to begin self-harming?"

"Well, I'm often overlooked and I tend to fade into the background. I also have a tendency to fall into my brother's shadow, and often times people mistake me for him. Occasionally, Alfred will play a prank on one of our classmates, but they will mistake me for him and take their anger out on me."

"Is that true, Mattie?" Alfred asks, horrified at the thought that the reason his brother is getting beat up so often is him.

"It's not your fault, Al. We just look so much alike that people get us mixed up easily," Matthew tells him, not wanting his brother to feel guilty.

"Yeah, it's not your fault. It's theirs for being too stupid to realize that they have the wrong person," I say.

"God, I'm so, so sorry, Mattie. I swear I'll never play another prank again. That way, people won't have any reason to hurt me, and you won't get hurt when they mistake you for me," Alfred promises.

"It wasn't just them. Ivan bullies me, too, and I don't think he ever mistakes us."

"Who is Ivan?" the doctor inquires.

"He's a Russian boy in our grade," I explain. The doctor nods and jots something down on her clipboard.

"So you began self-injuring because you felt no one noticed you and you were being bullied?" The doctor says, probably wanting to make sure she has her facts straight.

"Yes, it was just too much for me one day. I felt like I was completely invisible. I accidentally cut myself with some scissors while I was working on a school project, but it made me feel like I was there. But I guess I don't feel like that anymore. I have Gilbert now, and he always sees me. I no longer feel like I'm invisible," Matthew explains.

"Well, if you and your family want, I can admit you to the rehab center once you are discharged from here. You would get a chance to work on healing in a controlled environment. It may be the best chance for you, being away from your family and other outside influences to heal," the doctor informs.

Birdie answers immediately, "Non, I don't want to be forced apart from Gilbert and my family. I want to return home and go back to school as soon as possible."

"I'm not sure if it would be good for you to return to the environment that pushed you to self-harm before you've had a sufficient chance to heal properly," the doctor objects gently. I chuckle inwardly. It may not seem like it, but when he wants to, Birdie has one hell of a stubborn streak. I learned that the hard way when birdie and I got into a heated debate once over which empire in history was the strongest (The Prussian Empire obviously!). Though, I have to admit, the doctor might be right in this case.

I squeeze Birdie's hand hard enough to gain his attention, though not enough to hurt him. He looks up at me and I gently say, "It might actually be a good idea for you to go to the rehab center. You won't be bothered by Ivan or Carlos, you'll be able to heal, and you won't have me or your family to worry about."

Birdie's eyes get wide and he cries, "No! Gilbert, why can't you see that I don't want to go? I want to be with you. Some doctors and shrinks can't help me more than being with you does. You make me so happy, Bear. I don't want to be apart from you."

By the time he's done, Tears are welling up in his eyes again. I pull my hand out of his grip and wrap my arms around him, pulling him close to my chest. "It's okay, Birdie. You don't have to go if you don't want to. I won't let anyone send you away if you want to stay," I tell him in a gentle voice, hoping to calm him. It always breaks my heart to see him cry.

He looks up at me, wiping his eyes and asking in a voice just barely laced with fear, "Promise? You won't send me away?"

Smiling softly down at him, I say, "I promise. You don't have to go anywhere that you don't want to go."

I place a loving kiss on Birdie's forehead and he relaxes against my chest, his head resting against my shoulder. I look up at the doctor and say, "I guess that settles it. Birdie isn't going anywhere but home- once he's discharged, of course."

"But sirs, it would be very beneficial to Matthew if he were to go to this center," the doctor tries to convince Arthur and Francis. Francis holds up a hand to stop her.

"Madmousielle, if my son does not wish to go to this "rehab center", then we will not make him go. It seems to me that it would only do more harm than good if we were to separate him from us and Gilbert. He shall not be going, and that is final. Perhaps there are other ways that we can help Matthew that do not require him being separated from us."

The doctor just nods and jots something down on her clipboard. When she's done, she speaks once again.

"In that case, I suggest going to a therapist. I can recommend some good ones who specialize in this sort of situation and would allow someone else to be in the room with Matthew during a session. Just from our brief conversation and the one I had with Matthew before you came in, I can see that Matthew seems to be much more comfortable when he is with Gilbert. Having him sit in on a few sessions might be beneficial."

"That does sound like a good idea, provided that Gilbert's family allows it and both boys are comfortable with the idea. What do you think, Matthew? Would you be willing to go to therapy?" Arthur asks, turning to Birdie for his opinion.

"I'd like that much better than going to the rehab center. What about you, Bear?"

"Anything if it means I can help you," I say, smiling and running my fingers through Birdie's hair, careful to avoid his curl. I discovered what that little bit of hair does a few weeks ago when I was helping Birdie, his glasses having gotten tangled in it. It was a shock to me, I'll tell you that.

"Well then, it's settled," Alfred announces. "Mattie will stay with us, go to therapy with Gilbert, and not have to go to the rehab hell." We all nod in agreement and chuckle a bit at Alfred's choice of words.

"Alright, then, I'll make up a list of therapists that I recommend for Matthew. We'll be keeping him here under observation for another day to make sure that he's fully stable," she informs us.

"Would it be alright if I were to stay here with Matthew?" I ask.

"Well, normally we would only allow that for family, and only in special cases, but I think I can make an exception this once," she replies, smiling at us. "Speaking of which, I believe that visiting hours will be ending soon. So if you aren't going to stay then I must kindly ask you to leave," this she directs towards Birdie's family.

"Will you be okay if we leave? You'll be alright without us?" Francis asks Matthew.

"I think I'll be fine with Bear here," Birdie replies smiling, squeezing my hand slightly.

"Of course you will," he says, returning the smile as he kisses Birdie's forehead.

"You'll be alright, Matthew, You're a strong lad," Arthur tells him, also kissing Birdie's forehead and giving him a one-armed hug.

Alfred is the last to say goodbye to Matthew. He gives Birdie a hug and says, "Don't worry, Mattie, You'll be out of here before you know it."

He flashes us a smile as they leave, the doctor following them out the door. Once again, Birdie and I are alone. He sighs and relaxes back against his pillow, looking exhausted.

Brushing a few stray hairs out of his face, I ask, "How you feeling, Liebe?"

He smiles at me and replies, "Tired, but happy. I'm glad that they weren't upset or mad at me."

I chuckle, "I still think you're crazy for ever believing that they would feel like that. They just want you to be happy and healthy."

"I know, but I couldn't help but be at least a little afraid, even though I know it's silly."

"Well, you don't have to worry about stuff like that anymore. We're all here to support you, no matter what," I reassure him in a quiet voice.

"It helps to have you here to remind me of that. Thank you, Bear."

"No problem, liebe," I say, kissing him softly.

We talk for a while, not about anything specific, just talking, the way we did before this whole incident with Carlos and Ivan. It feels really great to be able to do this again; I've missed it more than words can say. Birdie tells me that he really loved my song. I'm happy about that and tell him that I wrote every word of it for him. Time seems to pass by like nothing, just like it used to. Before we know it, a nurse comes in.

"It's time for Mr. Williams to go to sleep. If you would like, I have been given permission to give him a sleeping pill. It may help him to get a more restful night's sleep," she says.

"Well, do you want to take the pill, Birdie?" I ask him.

"No, I think I'll be okay."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," he assures me.

"Alright, I'll just check Mr. Williams; IVs and such and be off. Before I go, would you like a blanket or something?" The nurse asks me.

"No, we'll call if we need anything."

She nods her head and quickly leaves after checking Birdie's vitals. I rest my head back and clock my eyes. The nurse had turned off the light when she left, so the room is bathed in moonlight from the window. It's calm. There's silence for a while as Birdie and I do our best to drift off into the wonderful state known as sleep.

The silence is broken when Birdie whispers, "Hey, Bear, are you awake?"

"Yeah. What's wrong, Birdie? Can't sleep? Do you want me to call that nurse so you can get the sleeping pill?" I ask.

"No, please don't. C…could you maybe…," he's quiet for a bit as if debating whether or not to continue.

"What is it, Birdie? You can ask me anything," I say, gently pushing for him to continue. In the moonlight coming in through the window, I can see a deep blush on Mattie's cheeks.

"Could you...s…sing for me? Like, a lullaby?" he finishes, burying his face in his hands, embarrassed. I smile and chuckle lightly, kissing the top of his head.

"Of course I can, Birdie. It's no problem."

I sit back and try to think of something that I can sing for him. After a bit, I recall and old lullaby that mein mutti used to sing to me when I was small. I smile at the memory of it. It's the perfect song.

"Okay, I think I can remember one mein Mutti would sing to me und Ludwig when we were kids," I tell him before beginning to sing it softly.

When I finish, Birdie is smiling contently. His eyelids look just about to close when he speaks quietly.

"You have such a wonderful voice, Bear. I love it when you sing for me."

I smile and whisper, "Danke, Birdie. Now sleep. You deserve some rest after all that you've been through today."

He just nods and closes his eyes, quickly slipping away into dreamland. I kiss his forehead and find myself drifting off as well, with my head resting on the edge of the hospital bed, content knowing that mein wertvoll liebe is safe.

End of Chapter XXIII

A/N: Okay so I'm sorry for the long wait you guys. I really don't have any excuse except laziness, trying to get a portfolio together for an art collage pre- collage summer program in italy, and just shit getting in the way. I hope you liked it anyway. Tell me what you think.

As always here's a word from my beautiful Beta Sakura414:

I'm sorry if the little part with the needle still has any mistakes in it… I'm afraid of needles, so I kind of skimmed through that part as quickly as possible. XD Other than that, I think it should be good! Other than the fact that that ending was so sweet I got a cavity… Wolf-chan, you're paying to have it filled!

Fine I'll talk to you about that at school. Now I'm time for me to go to school since I'm posting this beforehand.

Until next time.

Wolf-Chan out.