"You know what, Jacob? It doesn't take that much courage to park their cottage cheese behind their baracola..." Kurt snickers.
(Take 2)
"It doesn't take that much courage to park their cottage cheese behind their banocula...aah! Why can't I say it?!" Kurt groaned in frustration while everyone else laughed.
XX
Burt lay unconscious in the hospital bed. He then sneezed. "Sorry...sorry."
"Cut!"
XXX
Rachel rushes through the choir room towards Mercedes and Kurt. "Ladies, we have a problem."
"Lady?!" Kurt exclaimed, miffed.
Ignoring Kurt, Rachel continued. "There's this new girl in school..." She trailed off into giggles. "I'm sorry. I was enjoying the joke."
XXX
Kurt and Rachel were singing "Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy" when Kurt let out a loud fart. Rachel shrieked, grabbed her nose, and ran off. Everyone except Kurt laughs. Kurt blushes with embarrassment. "Excuse me."
XXX
"Oh, Brad, let's get out of here. I'm cold, wet, and just plain scared!" Rachel said frantically.
"I'm here. There's nothing to worry about." Finn replied.
Mercedes comes down in an elevator. Rachel screams in fright and faints. Mercedes tries to open the door, but can't. She tried kicking it open, but it was still stuck. Finn tried pulling on it but to no avail.
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Mercedes screamed. She started crying.
"Yeesh. And people think I'm overdramatic!" Rachel commented.
XXX
"Excuse me, can I ask you something?" Kurt asked a boy in a blazer.
"I'm Harry Potter." Blaine replied, then laughed.
Kurt chuckled. "Why hello, Harry. I'm Ginny Weasley. Ron's dumb sister." They laughed.
XXX
"Well, guess what, hamcock: you're not my type." Kurt said angrily.
Karofsky snickers. "You said 'cock'."
Kurt snickered and groaned. "Why do I keep mispronouncing words? Hamhock. Hamhock..." everyone laughed.
XXX
Karofsky shoves Kurt against a locker. "What is your problem?!" Kurt shouted.
Instead of speaking real sentances, Karofsky made a "Dorrraaaagghhhh!" Noise, glared at Kurt, waved his arms menacently, and walked off.
Kurt just stared in dismay. "What the actual...?"
XXX
Burt pins Karofsky against a wall.
"What the hell?" Karofsky exclaimed. Burt just snorted and burst out laughing.
(Take 2)
"What the hell?"
"Where...is...the bomb?" Burt asked icily. Then bursts out laughing. "Sorry! Couldn't help myself!"
XXX
Becky pulled Sue and the huge bag of debris on the wagon. The wagon gave out and sent Sue and the bag tumbling to the ground. Sue laughed hysterically.
"Can we keep that? That'd be great karma!"
XXX
"Do you think it's too much to sing to someone on Valentines Day?" Blaine asked Kurt.
"Yes, you filthy heathen!" Kurt gasped in horror and glared at Blaine in disgust. "Keep your filthy PDA to yourself!" Kurt turned and folded his arms. After a minute, he smiled and turned back around. "Nah, I'm just kidding. It's not."
XXX
Artie clapped the erasers and coughed when the dust got in his throat. "Water! Water!"
XXX
Blaine and Rachel sang together. They jumped up and down. Blaine jumped down on Rachel's feet causing her to scream in pain. Rachel bopped Blaine on the head with the mic.
XX
Rachel marched over to Blaine. "Hey, Rachel." Rachel kissed Blaine, who looked shocked.
"Uh...what was my line again?" He asked. They laughed.
"'Yep. I'm gay!'" Someone yelled from behind the camera.
XXX
Blaine stands up a little to give Kurt a kiss and lets out a loud fart. They laugh.
"Oh, way to ruin the moment!" Kurt exclaimed.
XXX
"Where is everybody? Let's get on with it!" Sandy yelled, shaking his shoulders.
Blaine threw a shoe at him. "YOU'RE A DISGRACE TO THE GAY COMMUNITY!"
"Yeesh, Blaine, calm down!" Kurt cried in shock.
XXX
"My doctor said I can't do any vigorous choreography while my nose heals, so thank you for your patience." Rachel said. "And Finn, next time...don't go breaking my nose!"
Everyone laughed at the irony.
XXX
Finn and Rachel watch and wait for someone to come out of Sam's motel room.
"Oh, the door's opening." Rachel said, raising her binoculars. Finn raised his camera. Out comes...
"Blaine?!" Finn said in shock. He then grew angry. "Why that cheating gay ho bag! I oughta kick the crap out of him for cheating on Kurt!"
"It must be some diabolical plan of his!" Rachel exclaimed. "He's trying to sabotage our chances for Nationals!"
"...But we're not competing against them..."
"Whatever!"
(Take 2)
"Oh, the door's opening!" Rachel and Finn pay close attention. Out comes...
"Wait- Karofsky?" Finn gasped. Karofsky and Sam kiss. "Wait- Karofsky's gay? Didn't see that coming."
"Hmm. Wonder if Kurt knows." Rachel wondered.
"Nah, he doesn't." Finn shook his head and smiled.
"How do you know?"
"Because he would've outed him already. Especially after threatening his life!" Finn exclaimed. "That's what I would've done!"
Rachel just stared at Finn. "Okay...A) Kurt is way too much of a gentleman to do that. And B) I really hope you won't be viciously bullied by closeted homosexuals, then."
"But with that ammunition..."
Rachel scoffed and shook her head. "Let's just go. And you better not say anything about both Karofsky and Sam being gay!"
"Fine..." Finn folded his arms and pouted.
"Um...you do know you're driving, right?" Rachel asked.
"Oh. Yeah..."
XXX
"I came back to make amends." Jesse said to Rachel. He tried sitting on top of a seat, but fell backwards over it.
Rachel burst out laughing, then stifled it. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine..."
XXX
"You do know that song is sung by a girl, right?" Jesse asked Kurt.
"Um...so were Like a Virgin, Like A Prayer, and Rolling in the Deep and you sung those songs." Kurt pointed out.
"BUUURRRRN!" Mercedes and Santana exclaimed and laughed.
"Uh...yeah, well...I didn't sing those in competitions, so there!" Jesse said, folding his arms.
"Oh, well, in that case..." Kurt said sarcastically and left.
XXX
Rachel, Lauren, and Tina dance together, but Lauren slips, falls, and brings the two girls with her. They yell out in fright and land in the fountain with a loud splash. Everyone else laughed.
XXX
Well, I'm definitely updating this earlier than I thought. Next chapter might be longer (than the first one. XD).