Dear Mr. Sir Professor Headmaster Dumbledore.

I am recovering from the horrible something that happened to me. I am not knowing what it was. The nurses do not know. I know they do not.

I am writing this from a comfortable hospital bed. The nurse tried to stop me from writing this letter when I told her it was to you. She does not think I am capable of using such high cognitive functions yet because of the reason that I am in this hospital bed and the medicine I was given because of it. I told her that I was smart enough to right my own letter to my own boss who is surely missing me because I am not working at the moment. Thank you much for the chocolate frog and the card, yes it does make me feel better.

Mother told me that she wrote you a letter. that's nice I always like it when she writes me letters. Sometimes she even enchants it so it will make cookies for me. Did she do that for you? I bet she did. She's does that for me sometimes.

I will come back to the school as soon as the nice lady who's wearing a nurse outfit says I can go, she says she's a nurse, but she's much too nice to be a nurse. Not like Madame Pomfrey. Whenever I went to the hospital wing last year. She tutted at me. TUTTED. I will put that on the report.

Also tell Lockhart that he better have filed the things he was suppose to. If not I will be forced to hex his eyebrows so they dance around him singing about all the ways he is failing as a wizard.

I am not sure when I will be back to inspecting. The school year is almost over and the nice lady says I may be here for a while. Whatever that happens to mean. Writing makes me tired. I want to write to some other persons at Hogwarts but I do not want to write another letter. Can you just tell them stuff for me?

I know you will say yes (you really are a very nice person) so tell my inspection club that Percy Weasley is in charge until I get back, (he's my prodigy you know. Extremely talented, I'll be his first reference when it comes to getting a job, he said.) and tell Professor Snape and professor Flitwick that I will be unable to attend our weekly card game and that I am very sorry, tell Peeves he cannot torment the students, tell my owl when you see him that you love him, he always likes getting told that you love him. And water my plants.

The nurse is back again. the mean one. The one who told me not to right write now. I think she's going to try and take the letter before I can mail it. She said she thought I would say something I would regret due to the medicine. HA foolish nurse does not know that I am the Inspector and never regrets anything said in the name of inspection!

Thank you

Cygnus the inspector!

P.s. this letter was all said in the name of inspection.