Chapter 9

Peeta

I'm vaguely aware that I'm awake but I don't move or open my eyes. It feels like there's an iron weight inside my head, forcing me to stay down. I don't fight it. Only when I hear a clap of thunder do I fully remember that I'm in the arena. I stand up, surrounded by green, my head throbbing. I have no idea where I am or which direction leads where. I could walk miles and miles one way without the scene changing.

I wonder how long I've been asleep. When I look at my arm I see there's a swollen bite the size of a grape. There's another on the palm of my hand. And another on the inside of my thigh. I squeeze my palm and wince when it feels like a needle is sliding through my skin. The bites are probably infected.

I pick a direction and start walking. It's noon and the canopy above can only do so much to stop the sun from dehydrating me. As I take my jacket off I notice my tongue feels like sand paper in my mouth.

The last thing I remember is... Is... Nothing. I only have the feeling that Katniss should be dead. Did we attack her? Are they all dead? Did I wake up where their bodies were, the only survivor? Shut up, Peeta, he's not dead, I tell myself.

There's nothing I can do to occupy my mind other than let it wonder, like I am now, through the trees. Katniss couldn't have killed all the Careers by herself. She must've had help from somebody. As I inspect the three bites I have I guess that tracker-jackers are responsible. Maybe she didn't get help from somebody, but something. Or things. What if she set a hive of tracker-jackers on us, but by doing so ended up killing herself too? She can't still be alive because she'd see that I'm alive and would've come back for me.

I try not to think of the probability that Cato is dead, but in the hours I walk through the quiet woods it's all I can think about. Why did I have to be so childish and not speak to him, or at least hear his side of the story? Why was I so stubborn? He came to me to try to patch things up between us and I didn't even talk back to him.

How long have I been aimlessly walking? For all I know I've walked around in circles for hours. It looks like it's late afternoon. My dry tongue licks my dry lips. I need water, desperately.

I stumble forward, hoping to find a pond, stream or anything. I must have been asleep for a long time if I'm this dehydrated. I feel myself weakening at a rapid rate. I cling to a tree and slide down the trunk. I end up lying on the ground, unable to get back up. I look ahead and see the sun casting the sky with an orange glow, making the lake shimmer like fiery glitter. Lake? Am I hallucinating?

I pull myself up, leaning against the tree. Looking ahead, the sun is setting behind the mountain, the vast lake just beneath it. I'm only a few minutes away. Using the last of the energy I have, I get to the lake edge and drink as much water as I can without choking. I should have purified the water first, but there are worse things that could happen to me right now.

I sit, watching the sky deepen to a pinky-red and look at the Career camp. It looks deserted. I walk to the tent hoping I'll find him asleep and that I've wasted my time thinking of worst case scenarios. I take a deep breath then walk in.

It's exactly how it was left. Sleeping bags strewn across the floor because we left in such a hurry. Nobody has been back. It hasn't been touched for days. That's assuming I was asleep for two days. I must have been. I had the venom of three tracker-jackers in me.

What am I to do now? I should leave, I'm not safe. The other tributes know that I'll eventually return here. It's only a matter of time. But... I can't leave. I don't know why. Something inside me is telling me to stay. After all, there's still a possibility that he's alive, just not here. If only I knew.

I sink to the floor. Holding my head in my hands, trying to hold back whatever is trying to break free. I stop myself from crying, but curl up in the fetal position. I hug my knees, hoping I don't have to think any more.

Darkness falls and the national anthem is heard throughout the arena. I walk out the tent, but it seems pointless because I know there won't be a face in the sky tonight, I haven't heard the cannon today. I sit down on the soft grass, expecting to see the Capitol seal but instead see the portrait of a girl with a huge ' district ten' under her painted across the black night.

I don't remember hearing anything. Did she die before I woke up? I was woken by thunder but there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Of course, I was woken by the cannon. I should have figured that out earlier. It was probably the guy from eleven who got her. He's huge. I hope we're not the last two, I wouldn't want to take my chances against him.

He could ambush at any minute. Maybe I shouldn't stay in the tent. I should stay in the cornucopia, but keep a light on in the tent, it'll attract them there, giving me time to get the hell away.

Luckily there's a spare bag lying around so I pack more than enough food and water without over weighing the bag. I would go to the supplies pile to see if there's anything there I need, but it's dark and I'm not fully sure how to get past the mines, anyway.

I rummage through Clove's area of the tent and find two throwing knives. I don't find anything else anywhere in the tent. I don't know where my spear is. I guess I dropped it before I blacked out. The gamemakers will have it by now.

I flick the overhead light on and walk out, across the field and into the cornucopia. I stand at the mouth, looking at the darkness. I wish I had a light. I'm pretty sure I see something at the back. Of course, I left my sleeping bag in there the other day. No. It's moving. Somebody is sleeping in there. I hold the knife that's strapped to my side. A bead of sweat slowly runs down my face.

"Who's there?" I ask, my voice echoing off the metal.

I wait a few seconds for a reply but I only hear gentle breaths. I look over my shoulder and at the sides of the cornucopia to check if anybody is sneaking up on me.

"Hello?" I call. I repeat myself a few times until I hear agitated grunts. Whoever it is is waking up. I hear the rustling of fabric as the person stands up. I step back, waiting for the moonlight to show who this person is. With my free hand I reach into my back pack for my second knife, now both hands holding one.

The person steps closer, a few steps away from me, almost visible. With one more step I see his face and I see the moon in his blue eyes. My throat closes up and my heart feels like it's going to float out of my body. The knives aren't in my grip any more and I've thrown myself at him before they hit the ground.

I don't let go of him for a good few minutes. If I let go I'm afraid he'll go away and it'll just be my imagination telling me he's here. It can't be, though. His hand on my waist, my hand stroking his hair, our chests pressed together. It feels so real. I pull away so I can look at him.

"Cato, what happened to your face?" I ask, horrified by the huge bite he has on his cheek. He puts a hand to it, as shocked as I am to find a bite there. There's another on his hand, and three more on his arms.

"I..." he begins, his voice trailing off.

I walk him to the tent where we'll be able to see each other better.

"I think they're infected," I say, examining each bite, "like mine."

I hold his hand, taking in the immense gratitude I have for him being alive. I would call it divine intervention but the only higher power I believe in is the Capitol. It's like I'm looking into a mirror of emotions, I shouldn't have doubted what he felt for me for a second.

"What happened?" I ask, confused, but thankful, about why he's alive.

"I don't know, my memory's fuzzy," he replies, concentrating.

"Mine too, I don't remember what happened at all,"

"Well, I do remember, it's just... Like if you try to remember something that happened so long ago that there are chunks missing and some bits don't make sense." I give a nod of encouragement, "We were hunting Katniss and she was in a tree, I don't know why, and when I woke up Glimmer was screaming. She ran off and this cloud followed her, then she just dropped. I felt this pain in my arms and face and I just ran because I thought the cloud would come for me. It was probably then that I realized they were tracker-jackers because I started tripping badly, it just felt so weird. I ran as fast as I could, when I thought I saw you so I followed you, but you were running away from me. You were telling Katniss to run. I thought you'd betrayed me."

"I'd never do that," I say, squeezing his hand harder. He waits a few seconds before continuing.

"Well, I had my sword so I was going to go after her, but then you jumped out. Like there were two of you. You walked out of the bushes and came up to me and tried taking the sword from me. You had a sting on your hand and you were just staring at it like something was happening to it. I'm not sure why but you just fell to the floor and you started choking, like you were drowning. Then you, a different you, walked out from the bushes again and I was going to..." His eyes start to well up.

"Hey, it's okay," I say, pulling him into my chest, cradling him.

"I was going to kill you," he says, "I'm so sorry."

I continue hugging him until he calms down. I didn't realize he would beat himself up so much about trying to kill someone. I should be alarmed that it was me he tried to kill, but I know it was because of the venom why he did it.

"Cato, you had so much of that stuff in your system, it wasn't you who was in control." I reassure him, "So what happened after you chased me?"

"Well, I forgot about the Peeta who was on the ground. I started chasing the Peeta that just appeared, then another Peeta joined him and I was chasing them both. This is really confusing, sorry. But I chased the two Peeta's back to the camp and there wasn't a cornucopia, there was this huge thing. Like a monster and it ate me. Then I woke up here."

I take in what he says. Did he actually chase me back to camp or was his drug induced mind telling him that I was everywhere? Probably the latter. He said he saw me fall to the floor and choke, so that was probably the real me. Seeing as that part of his story happened in the woods and that was where I woke up.

So the two Peetas he chased, maybe they were actual people that he saw as me. They were chased back here. So maybe they were Clove and Three. It's beginning to make sense.

"Maybe you were chasing Clove and Three, but saw them as me," I say.

"Oh my god," he says as it dawns on him.

"Clove sees you running at her with a sword and doesn't know what to do so she runs away hoping you'll sober up. But when you black out in the cornucopia she and Three take off, thinking that you've turned against them," I think aloud.

"Wow, that's brilliant, how did you figure that out?" he asks.

"I don't know, just guessed," I say, modestly, "So tomorrow should we look for them? We can explain what happened."

"Hmm, I'm not sure. Clove wouldn't have left if she wasn't one hundred percent sure the alliance was over. We'll need to be careful," he explains.

"We need to get some disinfectant on our stings tomorrow," I say through a yawn, "I'm too tired to do it now."

He opens his arms, beckoning me to lie against his chest. I do so and feel his heartbeat close to my ear. It calms me and my whole body relaxes into him. His hand runs up and down my back. I've never been touched like this before. My breathing slows and I let my mind wander.

I know I'm awake but don't feel the need to get up. I'm lying on top of Cato, my head on his rising and falling chest, our hands entwined in our sleep. I don't notice myself being pulled back under.

I feel the cold plastic flooring of the tent on my cheek. It's uninviting so I feel around for Cato. Where is he? I grudgingly open my eyes, rubbing away the sleep that gathered over night. He's not in the tent.

I crawl to the door and look out, the brightness hitting me. He's sitting at a fire, cooking something in a saucepan. After stirring the contents and putting a lid on it he turns and sees me. With a cheerful smile he walks over to me and plants a kiss on my cheek, before retrieving a small cube of shiny silver from our chest of food.

I follow him out and watch him unwrap the cube and see that inside there's a brown cube that crumbles easily.

"What is that?" I ask as it makes what was once clear water a murky muddy colour.

"Calm down, it's just stock," he says, looking at the shock on my face, "it makes it taste nicer."

"Really?" I ask in disbelief.

"Yes, trust me," he says as he returns to his stirring.

I sit down, keeping an eye on the pot while he gets some vegetables, picking the grass absently. I watch the sun reflecting off the lake, it's become a habit of mine. The beauty of this place still sends shivers through my spine.

Cato returns with a carrot, an onion, mushrooms and some meat, all in their own little plastic bags. He chops them all into chunks and puts them into the pan to leave them simmer.

"I already had breakfast but you looked so peaceful sleeping, so I didn't wake you," he says, giving me a smile that makes me remind myself to breathe.

"It's fine," I say.

I lie back and wait for the food to cook. It's been a while since I've eaten anything and as the aroma fills my nose my stomach starts making funny noises.

"Is it nearly ready?" I ask after I can't take the hunger. He opens the lid and looks at a chunk of meat.

"Sorry, it's gonna be a while," he says, I try my best not to look disappointed.

I go to the tent and get a bread roll, hoping it will ward off my hunger. When I return I see Cato has added more fuel to the fire, making it bigger.

"You didn't have to do that," I say taking a big bite of bread. It's weird, the bread has been in that box for days but it still tastes fresh.

"Yeah, well... Tough," he says with that caring smile I love.

By the time I've finished my bread roll, deliberately prolonging each bite, what ever Cato is cooking is done. He ladles a bowl for me and it I realize it's just a broth. It seems so weird that a brown cube is what gives it its flavour.

After we've eaten we sit in silence. We should do something but it's so tranquil, I wouldn't want to break it.

"We need to do something," Cato says after a half hour of nothing but hearing the light breeze.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," I say, standing up and stretching.

"Maybe we could set some traps in the woods?" he asks.

"Do you know how to make them? I can only remember one type," I ask back.

"I'll show you the ones I know, come on" he says, walking to our supply pile.

He directs me through the safe route then goes to the other side of the mound. Inside a box are neatly assorted length of rope, nets and trip wires. All the things needed to make traps, I assume. He hands me just about the entire contents of the box while he collects as many swords, spears and daggers as his arms can carry. Which is a lot.

We walk back to the tent and drop what we're holding outside. Cato goes to the box to fill a bag full of food, should something go wrong, but I show him that I beat him to it yesterday. We pack our bags with the ropes and nets equally and divide the weapons between us. Cato gives me a knife holder that I strap to my good thigh. Then I remember, we forgot to disinfect our bites.

"Cato, we need to go back and get some medicine," I say, worriedly.

"It's fine," he says, putting his hands on my shoulders, "we have a small first-aid kit in here somewhere that'll do for now."

He goes behind our food crate and retrieves a small green box with a white cross on it. He throws it to me and I put it in my bag.

"You ready?" he says putting his arms into the straps of his backpack.

I check that my two throwing knives are in their holder, along with a dagger and small-sword, while I carry my new spear. I give Cato a nod and we exit the tent and into the greenery.

An hour into our walk I find myself holding Cato's hand. I'm confused as to how this came about. But I'm definitely not going to let go. It feels nice. I'm not sure if it's because I've never held anybody's hand before or if it's because it's Cato's hand I'm holding. Or maybe because I can imagine my mother being forced to watch this, boiling with rage and there's nothing she can do about it.

I snicker at my thoughts and Cato hears me.

"What?" he asks, showing a hint of amusement.

"Nothing, I was just thinking about my mother. I bet she's really pissed off," I say.

"Why would she be pissed off?" he asks with a laugh.

"This," I say, holding our hands up briefly, then letting them fall. For a second I don't pretend to find it funny, letting it show on my face, but quickly start smiling again when I notice Cato staring at me. We continue walking, I keep my eyes on the path.

After a few minutes he unexpectedly pulls me into a hug. I don't see why it's necessary but I like it just the same. The two of us stand there, holding each other. It's like I can forget everything when he's around. The arena, imminent death, the fact neither of us can be together for long. Neither of us have talked about it but we can't put it off for much longer. He plants a small kiss on my forehead and we start walking again.

After walking for what felt like an eternity we pick a good spot to make a trap. Cato explains the mechanism behind the traps to me and we both begin tying rope to tree branches.

"So should I tie the rope around here?" I ask, holding the end of my rope to a branch.

"Maybe a bit higher," he says before testing a trip wire he'd made.

I tie the rope, making sure it won't come loose, then wait for further instruction. Cato's fiddling with a length of rope, tying then untying it, looking more flustered each try.

"What are you trying to do?" I ask.

"It's a type of knot I need to do, but I can't remember how to do it," he says, throwing the rope away in frustration.

"Oh, I see. Is there something I can do?" I ask.

"Besides doing the knot, we need to get the net up and set,"

"Well why don't we do that?"

"Yeah, I guess it'll give my mind a break,"

We both get the net out and spread it on the floor. At the four corners there are loops that we tie separate lengths of rope to. We then tie the four ends of the rope together to one thicker, longer length of rope.

"Now, we need to attach a pulley to one of the higher branches, add a weight, then it'll be done," he says.

"Great," I say with a smile.

We decide to take a small break. I have a bottle of water and share it with Cato. We both lie down on the net, it makes for an okay picnic blanket. Cato rolls over on his back, and I copy him. Every few minutes I hear the mockingjays singing to each other. One sits on a branch above our heads.

"That'd be the ideal place to put the pulley," Cato whispers to me, indicating where the bird is perched, I give a slight nod in reply. He starts to whistle a small melody, the kind of tune you make up when you're bored. The bird waits a few seconds then sings it back perfectly. Another mockingjay joins the first on its branch and sings along with it. Within minutes the area is alive with the sound of Cato's song.

The birds sing in perfect unison and the scene is so perfect I can't help but nudge closer to Cato. He puts his arm around me and I feel the swollen stings on his forearm. We really need to do something about it. It's weird, Cato doesn't seem to be that worried about them. And he got his memory back, where as I can't remember a thing.

"Cato, why do you think I can't remember anything? I mean, I only got stung three times and can't remember a thing, but you got stung loads and can remember fine," I ask.

"If you've had tracker-jacker venom in your system recently then any venom added to it has a stronger effect on your body,"

"Huh. But I haven't been stung by a tracker-jacker-" He didn't say 'if you've been stung', he said 'if you've had tracker-jacker venom in your system'. Meaning there's more than one way to have it enter your body. I remember the morning of them games I woke up with no memory. Maybe I have had it in my system recently. Does Cato know more than he's letting on?

"What?" he asks.

"Huh?" I ask back.

"You just stopped talking," he says, laughing.

"Oh, I was just... thinking, that's all," I say, looking back up at the mockingjay. It's flown away and the trees are silent now.

"Well," he says jumping up, "we'd better get back to work."

It doesn't take long for us to finish the booby trap. I attach a pulley system to the branch the mockingjay was sitting on and find some heavy rocks to use as a counterweight to pull the net up when somebody falls into the trap. Cato figures out how to do the knot that he was so stressed out about. Lastly, we cover the net with dead leaves to camouflage it.

After setting our fourth trap, we decide it'd be a good idea to head back. We know it'll still be a few hours before we get to the camp so we decide to eat food when we start getting hungry.

I climb up a huge boulder, hoping it will be high enough to give me a view over the trees. It isn't, I just see further into the forest. However, the top of the stone is relatively flat and I suggest to Cato that it'd be the ideal place to have some food. He agrees so we sit down on our coats and open up our bags.

We seem to have an abundance of the bread and fruit that stays fresh for days, so I have two bread rolls with cheese and an apple. It doesn't fill me up, but we can't be more than an hour from base, so it'll just be a small snack to keep me going until we get back, where I can cook supper.

"I need to take a leak," I say.

Cato nods his understanding and I climb down the front of the huge rock. I jump to the ground and when I take a step back something catches my right ankle and I fall backwards. I look down at my ankle to see what caught it when, in a rock crevice, I see the district ten tribute. I lie, frozen.

He walks closer to me and the only thing I can do is manage shuffle backwards. Behind him I see Cato, high on the rock. He does kicking and stabbing motions.

"Hey!" He shouts.

I doubt Ten would be this stupid, but he actually turns around, away from me. In a flash I take the small dagger out of its holder and put the handle to my chest, blade pointing upwards. As Ten turns back around I kick his shin with all the force I can muster. He grabs hold of it, raising it off the ground and I pity his naivety, but knowing compassion isn't an advantage I kick his other shin, making him fall forward.

He lands on me with a thud, I see the tip of my dagger poke out his back. My hands become warm and wet as blood gushes out of his chest, saturating my clothes. I shove his body off me, hearing the cannon blast in the background, and try to fight the impulse to vomit at my blood-soaked front. Cato walks over to me and pulls the dagger from Ten's body.

"Nice job," he says, looks at the boy's stab wound, "right in the heart."

"I just killed somebody," I state.

"Exactly, you killed him quickly, no unnecessary pain," he says, as if it was a compliment.

I don't reply, but take my shirt off. I wipe blood off my hands, but they're stained pink.

"Whoa, give me a warning next time," he says, admiring my body, making no attempt at subtlety.

I can't help but smile at his flattery as I search for a spare shirt. I can't find one.

"Do you have a another shirt?" I ask.

"Besides the one I'm wearing, no. I guess you'll just have to walk around bare-chested," he says with a sly smile.

"Come on, I want to get back before it gets dark," I say, so he climbs back up the rock face and throws down our non-lethal items. I step back while he throws our spears and swords. He jumps down and I hand him his weapons, then we make our way back.

To begin with I don't mind the temperature, but after a while the cold begins to raise goose-flesh along my skin. Also it would be humiliating if it got so cold that my nipples become erect and Cato saw. I try not to shiver but eventually I can't help it.

"Cold?" he asks as I notice him looking at my chest. Oh no, I think as I look down at my chest, too. I immediately hug myself, covering my nipples. Cato takes his jacket off, chuckling darkly, and puts it around my shoulders.

I go to put my arms in the sleeves, but hear an almighty boom echoing through the forest. It's too loud to be the cannon.

"What the fuck what that?" I ask.

We both stare at each other in utter bewilderment. I wonder what would be capable of creating such an explosion and it seems Cato figures out as soon as I do. The mines.

We both run, faster and faster in blind panic. It takes a surprisingly less time amount of time than I thought it would take to get back. I see smoke in the sky and when we run out into the opening our worst fears are confirmed.

Flaming clumps of debris are dotted all across the field, centred around a huge crater jetting up thick, black smoke into the twilight sky. Cato squats down, picking up a piece of burned plastic, then throws it back, brows furrowed. I crouch next to him, placing my hand on his back. He brushes it away and walks off, back into the trees.

"I need to kill somebody," he says without looking back.

A/N: Sorry it took so long, but I hope the length makes up for it. Any guesses as to who caused the explosion? Please review, I enjoy hearing what you guys think and what you have to say. Thanks!

Abugsaunt:

It was a nice change for me to show what Cato's thinking, but I won't be doing too many chapters like that because it will end up confusing people (including me). I was looking at the earlier chapters and I couldn't believe how bad some of the grammar is so that's going to be one of my main concerns from now on. I'm pretty sure it's you who said the longer chapter I made was your favourite, so here's another!

Guest:

Like the story title suggests, I'm going to go parallel to the book but some things I'm changing. I'm making it my own and if you don't like it, that's fine but you said you love it so that's great, thanks!

MangoMagic:

Yeah, I'm sorry for confusing you. If I do chapters like that in the future I'll be making it's more clear where in the story it is. If there's still any doubt in your mind: Glimmer is dead. Enjoy!