Chapter 4

Pets and nitroglycerin don't mix

Starscream sat cross-legged on top of his workbench, his elbow resting on his knee, his head in his palm; the fingers of his right hand tapping impatiently against the metal surface. He had lost count of how many breems had passed since he had first extracted the tiniest amount of the well's water from the sample tube; totally absorbed in its analysis. Yet despite his efforts each path of investigation had ended in exactly the same way as that of its predecessor.

A dead end.

Through the use of his improvised remote control, and a collection of his smaller scientific tools, Starscream had managed to fashion himself a functioning chemistry set; enough to enable the most basic scrutiny. With incessant perseverance, the ex Seeker had been able to extract and identify each and every component of that slagging liquid; each had been carefully logged into the datapad before him, each one double checked and confirmed... Each and every component...bar one.

He shook his head in frustration, totally baffled. He knew it when he first began the analysis that things were working too well, the formula too easy to deconstruct...that one single component was proving to be the sticking point his paranoia had predicted.

Starscream threw the datapad away from him in defeat; the rectangular devise sliding over the smooth surface of the workbench before falling unceremoniously over the edge. The sound of it crashing against the floor beneath brought a satisfied smirk to the Seeker's lips. He didn't need the datapad anyway, he had already memorised its information. The human repeated the list out aloud, trying his best to focus:

Carbon...

Nitrogen...

Hydrogen...

Oxygen.

Carbon...

Nitrogen...

Hydrogen...

Oxygen.

An explosive combination, Starscream mused; it seemed that the mystery ingredient stabilised the liquid as well as enabling the transformation process to occur. But despite that fact, he still could not identify it; it didn't appear to be an element found on Earth, nor did it resemble those found on Cybertron.

Starscream stood up and moved towards his setup, determined to find his answer. His mind was lost to his surroundings; nothing existed in that moment but that liquid...

It wasn't until the familiar sensation of wind rushing past his body took hold that the human realised something was wrong, the first taste of self-flight since his transformation illuminating the fact that he was no longer on the workbench.

He was falling...

As the floor rushed up to meet him, the human realised that he must have stepped over the edge. Instinctively, Starscream attempted to pull up, but without wings the effort was useless...

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A sharp pain in the middle of nowhere…

In his arm, perhaps… Had he been wounded? The crystalline water of the Well of Transformation suddenly turned into an infinite black abyss, absorbing him.

He flew, forcing his engines as much as he could. His speed had surpassed by far his most remarkable achievements on the matter, but he kept falling… He could feel the accursed water licking his fuselage; he could see the darkness invading everything, wrapping him like a cloak…

He had to escape… one… two galaxies… nothing was enough. He fell deeper into the well, no matter his efforts to flee. Suddenly, his engines ceased to function. The sky was not his element anymore; it was a foreigner… His wings didn't respond to him, neither his thrusters…

He saw on the edge of the well a multitude of human beings. They were pointing at him, mocking him… Amongst the crowd he could distinguish the Autobots' pets, that annoying kid and the female that was his bond mate… The last thing he saw before the darkness devoured him was her shinning golden hair.

The pain in his arm returned.

"Is he dead?"

"Don't be stupid. Can't you see he's breathing?"

Breathing?

Panic returned Starscream to consciousness. He opened his eyes and found Rumble and Frenzy towering over him, staring at him with childish curiosity. Frenzy was kneeling, poking his arm.

"See? I told ya he was still functioning," Rumble said.

Starscream immediately sat up, realizing he was on the floor of his quarters. He dragged himself backwards, grabbing his sore biceps. He was used to looking at Rumble and Frenzy from his much taller height. How was it possible for them to be so big now, even taller than him…?

The memories of the previous solar cycle returned to torment him. The pain, the humiliation, the desperation… everything was so fresh again.

But fear took over the battle of distressing emotions. He looked upward, toward the distant surface of one of the workbenches in his laboratory. The sample of the Well of Transformation's water was still there, the only hope that kept him attached to what he couldn't call life anymore.

"Hey Screamer, are you OK?" Rumble asked.

"You look like you're ready for the scrapheap," Frenzy added.

"I'm fine… What the slag are you two doing here? How did you trespass my security system?"

"What are we doing here?" Rumble laughed, ignoring Starscream's last question. "What are you doing there? We walk in and find you lying on the floor… What a way to recharge, huh? What happened? Couldn't you reach your berth?"

"No, no…" Starscream replied as he covered his crotch with his hands. "I just fell from the workbench… I must have offlined with the hit."

"Well, you were lucky you didn't reach the final shutdown. So? Any broken bones?" Frenzy asked.

"I already told you I'm alright. Now leave!"

Rumble flew toward Starscream's computer and glanced with astonishment at what the screen displayed.

"Oh holy slag… Frenz, check this out!! Screamer was doing some research on the human internet."

"Let me see! Oooh wow! What is this…? Instructions for urinating?"

"Turn that off!!" Starscream furiously cried.

Frenzy burst into laughter. "But of course!! All organics do it! What's wrong, Screamer? Did you have problems with taking you first leak?"

Rumble returned to the floor and elbowed his twin. "Yeah Screamer, why in the Pit did you need to look for instructions? All humans can pee, it's so natural! Maybe you are even less than human…"

"You runts will shut your dirty vocalisers or I will make sure you stop using them permanently!"

"Yeah, right Screamer. And how do you plan to do that? Will you pee on us til we rust?"

Frenzy celebrated his brother's comment with a resounding guffaw but finally managed to somehow control himself. "So? Could you do it or not? You should've asked us before looking for help on the human network. We have spent more time between humans than any other Decepticon. We are the master experts concerning fleshlings."

"Yeah," Rumble seconded. "We know the meat bags and their disgusting habits. Here, have some advice for next time: if you shake your wang more than three times after peeing, you are playing with it."

Mockering guffaws hurt the deepest corner of Starscream's dignity, if he still had some left.

"Don't you even think, you idiots, that I am defenceless. It's not good for your puny lives to annoy me. Now leave! I am busy!"

"Ha! Can't do that," Rumble said. "Soundwave sent us to retrieve you. He's going to do some tests on you."

"Tests? No slagging way!" Starscream cried, standing up and starting to run, terrified by the idea of falling into the always sadistic hands of Soundwave.

"Your opinion is… how did Megatron put it? Oh yeah… irrevelant... iverrelant... irrelevant?… Well, something like that… Get'im Frenzy!"

Almost immediately, Starscream felt something tackling him from behind, returning him painfully to the floor.

He fell on his chest, hitting his chin in the process. He saw Rumble's feet approaching and stopping very close to his face.

"Sooooo… are you gonna be a good boy or do we have to get rude?" the blue Cassetticon asked.

"Screw yourself."

"As you wish, then. Frenzy! Gimme a hand, will ya?"

As if he were manipulating a toy, Rumble turned Starscream on his back and lifted him up, grabbing him by the armpits. Starscream struggled as hard as he could but there was nothing he could do against the superior strength of his captor. His frenetic kicks were stopped by Frenzy, who grabbed his ankles.

"Put me down this instant! You can't carry me like this! It's degrading!"

"Stop resisting! You are such a crybaby," Rumble spat, shaking him roughly, setting a certain hated part of his anatomy dancing in protest.

"Wait! We have to retrieve the sample from the Well of Transformation too."

"You are right, Frenz. You get it. I don't want to be close to that slagging water ever again."

"How do you know about the sample?" Starscream asked.

"One word: begins with Astro and ends with choo choo," Frenzy said as he released Starscream's legs and flew toward the workbench.

"No! Don't touch that sample!"

Rumble silenced Starscream, roughly grabbing him by the torso and unceremoniously throwing him over his shoulder. The ex Seeker's chin hit against the Cassetticon's back, but that didn't stop him from attacking with his flesh-and-bone fists the hard structure of his captor.

"Hey, stop that! It tickles," Rumble giggled.

"Put me down, Rumble! I am still your superior officer! You cannot treat me this way!"

"I can and I'm doing it, see?"

"This is humiliating!"

"See how much I care."

"I have the sample. Let's go," Frenzy said, flying back with the metallic tube containing Starscream's only hope in his hands.

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Starscream's worst nightmare continued when, still carried over Rumble's shoulder, he caught sight of the three Conehead Seekers approaching from behind, certainly waiting for their opportunity to inflict some damage on their disgraced Air Commander .

"Hey Rumble, I see you're taking your pet for a walk," Ramjet said.

Dirge burst into laughter. "But what an ugly pet you have… Oh, sorry Starscream, we didn't recognize you."

"You look slightly different…" Thrust said, trying not to laugh. "Have you lost weight?"

From his unworthy place, Starscream pointed a tense finger toward his wingmates.

"Laugh while you still can! I will not forget any of your offenses, do you hear me?!"

"Oh, really? And what are you going to do, Screamer? Bite us?"

"You can't talk to me that way, Ramjet!! I'm still your superior officer and you will address me with respect!"

"You bet, oh mighty Air Commander," Thrust retorted. "After all, your current appearance inspires nothing but respect."

"Hey!" Dirge cheered. "Why don't we take him to one of those pet contests like they have on those terrestrial television shows?"

"Great idea, Dirge!" Ramjet seconded. "Do you think you can stand on your two paws, Starscream, and balance a ball with your nose?"

Dirge burst into laughter. "If that's too difficult for you, you can always try jumping through a ring on fire."

Starscream's face had acquired a red tonality due to pure fury. A vein was palpitating on his forehead, apparently about to explode.

"No, wait, I got it!" Thrust said. "I think you would be perfect for one of those commercials the humans do for their pets' fuel. I can imagine you eating from a bowl beside other dogs."

"Just make sure you don't get your aft bitten..."

"If you scum-buckets value your lives, you will stop talking slag!!" Starscream cried, interrupting Ramjet. "Hear my words and hear them well: I will make you regret every laugh, every insult... Do you understand??"

"Huh? Did you say something, Starscream?" Dirge laughed. "Sorry but we don't understand barking. Hey Rumble, why don't you lend us Screamer for a while? We caught some sharks and we have this theory that he would look amusing swimming for his life."

"Sorry guys," Rumble said, enjoying Starscream's humiliation as much as the fliers, "but Fido can't come and play wit' ya right now, he's gotta have his flea bath."

"Awww...poor Fido," Ramjet laughed, "maybe you could ask for something to cover you up while you're there, I doubt a bath will do anything to cure your ugliness."

"Yeah," Frenzy continued, patting the Seeker's aft like a human would pat a dog, "he's a bit grumpy right now, but once he gets his rabies shot, he should be ok."

It wasn't common for the Coneheads to share a joke with the Cassetticons, but Frenzy's words awakened a rare moment of frivolity between the ranks.

"Rabies?!" Thrust snorted, "Starscream doesn't have rabies, he's always been that crazy."

"Shut your pit-spawned vocalisers!"

"Maybe he's always had rabies, then?" Frenzy suggested.

"Doesn't matter, it always ends in death anyway," Dirge laughed. "Don't cure him of it, you'll spoil the fun."

"I'll slagging kill you all!"

"I don't think Megatron would like that," Rumble said, "I think he'd rather crush Fido himself, ya know?"

"That I'd like to see," Thrust cheered, poking Starscream's back, "what a worthy way for you to die, squished between Megatron's fingers!"

"Well, we'll soon see if that happens, won't we, Screamer?" Rumble said, bouncing Starscream's body on his shoulder. "Sorry to break up the party guys, but Fido's fate is just down that corridor an' if we don't hurry up, Megatron will kick our afts too."

"You will pay for this humiliation!" Starscream bellowed as the two Cassettes continued happily on their way, the sound of the Conehead's laughter still ringing though the corridors.

Te be continued.


Sorry for taking some time to update this story. Good news is that we have next chapter almost done, so expect a really fast update. We hope you enjoyed!