AN: I'm sorry for the long wait in this chapter. I wanted to do something a little different, and I hope everyone enjoys it, but I was sort of fightng with it. Thank you everyone who has reviewed. It still means so much to me that all of you are still reading this story and keeping up with me :-) I don't own anything, I'm just playing :-)

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A Father's Love

I was once told that my parents had a happy marriage. Years later I was told it was a marriage of convenience because my father got my mother pregnant. By the time I was two my parents had divorced. My mother had custody of me and my father had visitation rights. When I was three my father was working in England for a man named John Tresdale. Apparently he talked about me so much that Mr. Tresdale decided to contact my mother about sending me to visit for some time (little did I know he had had to pay my mother a substantial amount to get her to agree).

While I was visiting there I met a woman who was healing from injuries Tresdale's grandson had inflicted. I didn't understand it at the time, but all I saw was a beautiful woman who smiled and was very friendly. She played games with me and took me shopping. My father took me sight-seeing. He had a wonderful smile. He threw me up in the air and I can remember laughing delightedly as I came back into the safety of his arms. His friend was named Stephanie. She became Aunt Steph to me quickly. It broke my heart when I had to leave and go back to my mother.

My parents engaged in an ugly custody battle. My mother wanted to take my father for everything he was worth in child support. My father wanted me away from her where I would be safe. It took him two years to win and that victory happened because Aunt Steph's lawyer got involved. The case he had helped build against my mother caused her to sign away her parental rights in every capacity. I was taken back to Aunt Steph's house because Daddy hadn't found a home for us yet.

When he first brought me into the house I saw a bear. He was huge and I knew instinctively I had to hide from him. I found Aunt Steph and another man in a study. I was trying to crawl inconspicuously so the bear couldn't see me. The strange man ratted me out to Aunt Steph. I told them I saw a bear and then the bear came into the study. Instead of hiding behind Aunt Steph I ran under the other man's legs. Daddy came into the room trying to find me, but I explained I couldn't because there was a bear in the room and he might eat me. Then they told me he was a friendly bear. Daddy said he was a Care Bear and the man I was hiding under said he was Cheer Bear.

Weeks afterward Daddy was killed by a psychopath trying to hurt my Aunt Steph. I found out the brutality of it well after the funeral. All the men had been instructed by Uncle Ranger and Aunt Steph not to say anything about the actual events of the murder in front of me. None of them did. I found out because I was hiding under Uncle Bobby's bed trying to scare out a monster. But I also found out that Daddy left me to Aunt Steph and that made her my new mommy. When she married Uncle Ranger he became my new Daddy.

A few days before graduating from high school I decided I wanted to meet my birth mother. Julie went with me. We left a note telling Mom and Dad we were "in the wind" (it was Julie's idea, I swear). I don't know what I expected to find. I knew what I wanted to understand, but after finding out that Lorraine was a crack whore and willing to sell me to men at a young age, I knew I had been put with the right people. When I walked the stage, I saw my family, my true family, cheering and looking so proud of me.

But there's been so much anger at not knowing Mac. I don't blame Mom, not one bit. It wasn't her fault that Brett Traymon was killing people. Sometimes I think it's cruel that I got to have him for such a short time. Then I think of the what ifs. What if I had had him? Would I have still had the family I do have? Could I live with not knowing them? Not loving them the way I do? I usually push those thoughts aside, then comes the anger of knowing about Lorraine. What kind of woman admits that she'd sell her child? The sheer audacity of it sickens me. But I buried all the rage and anger I have in regards to Mac and Lorraine and loose it only when I need something to fuel my fight…

I'm floating. I know I'm still in the hospital. I can hear the beeping of my heart monitor. I can hear everyone talking. I woke up once during the surgery and they had to put me down quickly. Fuck, which means Alan told them what they had to use. I hate being medicated. I'm too sure I'll get addicted the way Lorraine has.

Hm. I wonder what the current pool is at. Next time I think there's a good chance I'm going to end up in the hospital I'll make sure I put something down in advance. I hope they didn't do it in front of Mom. I know the cops in Trenton used to make bets on her. If it hurt her when her supposed "friends" did it to her, I'm pretty sure she won't react well to my guys doing it to me. Well, Billy is a smooth talker so he'll probably talk his way out of trouble in no time flat.

Really, I just want to wake up and get out of the hospital. I know everyone is worried and I need to let them know I'm fine. As long as Ortega is dead and Richard is back with Cami and Trevor isn't more injured than we found him I'm fine.

But first I have to find a way to wake up.

I have no idea how long I've been unconscious. I can hear everyone talking to me. I feel warmth around my left hand. I know Trevor is there holding my hand. I can see him sitting beside me, holding my hand with one hand and on his lap he's got his sketch book and is sketching away. It's how he deals with waiting. He has to keep himself busy but I know he won't leave unless Dad or one of my uncles forcibly removes him.

I want to wake up and hold him. The waiting to find him and know if he's alive or dead was killing me. I know what Ortega was capable of and if I had been thinking just a little more clearly, I probably would have remembered sooner that he would have waited for me to be present so he could kill Trev in front of me. Good thing I got there before that happened.

Fuck. Just wake up already, Donahue! I order. Right…like my body is going to listen. If I could roll my eyes I would. Really I would. So I guess I'm just going to lay here until my traitorous body decides I can wake up. I'm putting it through the ringer when I wake. I swear it.

"Hello, little girl."

I turn wherever I'm at and I see Mac standing in front of me. "Daddy?" My voice is small, childlike and suddenly I feel like I'm five again.

"I guess you're not so little anymore." He gave a sad smile.

"Aren't you dead?" For some reason I can't fathom why he's sitting in my mind.

"Yes."

"Am I dead?"

"Not yet."

"Am I going to be?"

"That's up to you, Munchkin." The nickname Dad calls me makes my heart clench. Dad and all my uncles call me Munchkin.

"I can hear everyone." I say lamely. "I know I'm in a coma."

"Yes you are." Mac smiles again. "You should have woken up already. You've been out for a week."

"Are you here to make me die?"

"No." Mac shakes his head. "I'm here to help you decide what you're going to do."

"I want to wake up and kick my ass." I reply.

Mac laughs. Tears spring forward as I hear a sound that I associate with my childhood. He was so happy when he brought me back to Mom's house after he won custody.

"Come on, little girl." He holds out his hand. "You're holding yourself in a coma for a reason. Let's go find out what's going on with your family."

Hesitantly I take his hand and I find myself standing in the hospital chapel. I see Cami sitting between Julie and CJ praying. Tears are in her eyes as she begs God to give me back to them. I want to laugh when she says she's going to kick my ass. I might just let her.

I clutch Mac's hand as I see Mom and Dad walk in quietly and sit behind them. They both look haggard. They've seen better days. There are circles under Mom's eyes. Dad doesn't look like he's shaved in a week. It makes him look more dangerous than people already believe him to be.

I look back at CJ and notice he hasn't shaved either. With the exception of his eyes, it's almost eerie how much like Dad he looks. Cami and Julie too. They all look like they belong.

A lump forms in my throat. It feels like it's bruising as I try swallowing against it.

Before I can say anything Mac we're in my room. There I am lying comatose, my left leg in a cast and my right wrist wrapped. I can already figure how long I'll be doing physical therapy to recover from the fight.

"Talk to me, little girl." Mac says as he looks at Trevor. "Do I need to kill him?"

"No." I shake my head.

"I should do it anyway."

"Daddy!" I say with indignation. "You can't kill him! He's mine."

Mac smiles. "I know. I've watched you for years hoping you'll find someone to love you."

"You've been watching me?"

"Always."

I feel warm inside. There's something comforting knowing that while the few memories I have of him are slowly fading from mind, he's still with me. Then it hits me. If he's always watching me… "Um, when you saw always watching me…"

Mac gives me a blank look. "Dead or alive, there are certain things a father never needs to see. Rest assured, the moment you decided to have sex, I was looking at something else."

That's a relief. The idea of him seeing that makes me feel like a teenager getting caught on my first date. Mac starts laughing. Clearly he can tell what I'm thinking. "I happen to think what happened on your first date was brilliant. I'm just sorry I couldn't help."

"Brilliant?" I glare at him. "Dad and my uncles kidnapped my date and put him in a holding cell at RangeMan! Then they went in there all locked and loaded like they were going to war! Mom had to make them let him go home!"

Mac just grins. "Your precious, little girl. They were protecting you. It's very fitting."

I roll my eyes at him. Of course he thinks it's fitting. He's not the one who had to convince her future dates that her father wasn't going to kill him.

I look at Trevor. He's sketching away furiously. Curious, I go look over his shoulder. Whenever we were on vacations from the Rangers, I'd sneak up and look over his shoulder the way I am now to see what he was drawing. What I see in front of me makes me swell with love and hurt.

He's drawing me. In one of our more private moments, we were in bed. I recognize the background. It's of his house. What Daddy probably doesn't know (or he probably does if he decided to look Trevor up) is that Trev's family is old money. Trev didn't have to join the Army, didn't have to do anything but be a playboy if he wanted. But he wanted to serve his country. So he enlisted.

In the drawing, I'm curled up on the bed, a sheet pooled at my waist. I'm curled up against a pillow, sleeping like a baby. I love how he draws me. I feel so exposed to him. I probably am. He sees me better than anyone. Trevor's called me on shit I've done in the past when we're in private. It's made it tough being together while we both served, especially when I outranked him on missions. We made it work.

I study the drawing some more. My face looks…peaceful. We had just spent the night making love, giving into our need for each other and releasing some of the tension that had built up from the mission. Trev once told me I only look peaceful after we've been together and when he sees me at home with my family.

Mac clears his throat and I turn my attention back to him. Whatever plain of existence I'm on right now still leaves some feeling in my face because I feel myself blushing. Mac gives me a pointed look that says not to tell him. Grinning sheepishly I make my way back over to him and turn to look at my lover again.

Trev looks as bad as my parents do, if not worse. I know he's not going to move until I wake.

"You love him, little girl?" Mac asks.

"More than anything." I reply.

"You two have a long life ahead of you."

"How do you know that?"

"I just do."

"I thought you were here to help me make a decision."

"It's a statement to the decision of you waking." Mac replies. "If you decide not to, you'll spend forever in a coma… and Trevor will never leave your side."

"You really know how to lay the guilt on, don't you?"

"I'm a parent."

I roll my eyes. Really, that's all I've got for a response. Silently we watch as Julie comes in and tells Trevor to get some rest. He'll refuse, but Julie is a Manoso through and through. Which means she'll win. And she does. I hear his voice in my head, "Come back to me, love."

I want to reassure him, but I can't.

She sits silent for a while, just watching me. When she starts talking I'm surprised by the subject matter. Lorraine. Great. That means the boys have been telling things again. I feel guilty as I hear her get frustrated and angry with me over the decision to join the Rangers. I'm surprised when I hear she wanted me to join RangeMan because of my abilities to dig up information.

I see Dad walk in and just watch her. He picks her up and comforts her in the only way a Dad can. He tells her to let me heal before she tries kicking my ass. I guess I'm in a world of hurt when I wake if Cami and Julie are threatening ass kickings. I can't even imagine what my boys will do when I'm cleared for physical therapy.

Cami barges in and looks my physical body telling me that Billy won't be around when I wake if she finds him. Guess she found out about the Baby Manoso title. Heheh, I don't pity Billy one bit whenever she does get a hold of him.

"Little girl, talk to me." Mac says interrupting the observation. "Why aren't you waking up?"

"My body seems to have an opinion about it." I reply.

"Bullshit."

I look at him incredulously. "Seriously!"

"You've been in worse scrapes and haven't been in a coma like this. Tell the truth." He demands in that father voice that is firm and brooks no excuses. Dad used it on me a few times over the years. I didn't like it from him and I don't like it from Mac.

"Everything that happened…they'd be better if I wasn't there." I finally whisper.

"Why?"

"Why? Look at what happened? Cami was kidnapped, nearly raped by one of my ex-men, CJ was jumped and probably would have been taken too if JJ hadn't stepped in. Trevor…God, what Trevor must have gone through while Chris had him…" I trail off, aware that tears are in my eyes.

"Guilt is a pretty powerful thing, little girl." Mac says. "But I believe Julie and Ranger both told you this wasn't your fault. You did a job that was assigned to you. The revenge Chris decided to take later was not your fault. It was a desperate attempt by a man who underestimated you."

"But they…"

"They love you and are worried sick about you. Elise, I couldn't have asked for a better family for you to have. You have no idea how much it has filled my heart with love and pride watching you with them over the years. Ortega got too close for your comfort. He got personal, and that's not something you've had to deal with before. But now you have to. You'll heal from all this. You did good, Elise, real good. I am so proud of the woman you became."

My hand burns suddenly. I look down. In my hand are my dog tags.

I look back at Mac. "I miss you."

"I miss you too." He smiles. "But being angry at the world for me not being around won't change anything. Talk to your mother about me. She can tell you stories so you still have me around. In fact, ask her about the time she cooked in England."

My eyes widen in horror. "Mom isn't allowed to cook! We all learned to cook to keep her out of the kitchen!"

Mac laughs heartily and pulls me to him. "Trust me, that time she did. Brownies. See what she tells you."

"Kay." I stay in his embrace, savoring the feeling, knowing I'm not going to feel it again for a long time.

"It's time." He says after several minutes.

Tears fill my eyes as I look up at him. "I don't want it to be."

"I know," Mac looks at me and wipes away the tears that slipped down my cheeks. "You ready to go home to your family?"

Slowly, I nod. "I love you, Daddy."

"Love you too, little girl." He pulls me close to him one more time. "Do me a favor, ask your father to kick Trevor's ass for me."

"Why?"

"Because I'm a dad and I want the little bastard's ass kicked." Mac said. "Now go on, get home. I'll see you someday, but not soon."

Mac fades and I sniffle, the hurt of seeing him leave me again tightening my heart. The tags in my hand continue to burn. I hold them up to my lips, kiss them softly and hurry to get home.