Author's notes: We apologise for the delay in updating, but we've been busy with other things, including writing a few juicy scenes for upcoming Fleshling and Cantabile chapters. Hopefully this will be worth the wait!


Chapter 10

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet

"Crothers?"

"No."

"Bell?"

"No."

"Cullen? Welker?"

"Slag, no… For some reason, those two repulse me to the core."

"Hey, maybe they were your deadly enemies in an alternative dimension. Welker has power, authority…"

"Skywarp, if I want your wise opinion I'll ask for it. Next?" Starscream said as Thundercracker continued enouncing the human last names he had found on the terrestrial internet.

"Stephenson? That one has class," the blue Seeker said.

"Maybe for you, but it doesn't fit me. Next."

"Dobson? Kenny? Adler?"

"I like them… especially the second. But no, perhaps in my next reincarnation."

"We don't reincarnate, Screamer," Skywarp said.

"Oh for the slagging Matrix… never mind."

Thundercracker grinned and continued.

"Collins?"

"Collins… Collins…" repeated Starscream. "That may be the one… Next?"

"Britney Spears."

"Look, Skywarp, if you are not going to be helpful, then you should teleport the slag out of here!"

"Where is your sense of humour, fleshy?"

"Starscream is right, Warp. Can you take this seriously?"

"I am taking it seriously, TC! I was just joking to help Screamer relax a little."

"I don't see him being very relaxed… By the way, Starscream, you don't look very well."

"Thank you for the observation, Thundercracker. An observation I never requested, by the way! Could you stop pointing out how disgusting I look in this flesh body for one single astro second?!"

"No, I didn't mean that. What I'm saying is that you look pale… Are you sure you refuelled again properly after your purging?"

"Yes, yes… I began to feel dizzy after the Insecticons chased me and my head is hurting a little, but it must be the stress…I think the effects of the whisky have worn off... Can we continue now? I'm just some breems from being literally thrown into the humans nest and I don't even have a fleshling name yet!"

"Alright, alright…" Thundercracker gave up. "What about Latta?"

"What did you say?"

"Latta."

Starscream rubbed his chin. "Latta… for some reason, it sounds familiar."

"Perhaps it was you, you know, in another dimension… Why don't you take it?" Skywarp said.

"I take it."

"Latta it will be, then," Thundercracker said, relieved by the thought that he would no longer have to continue looking for human surnames. "That leaves us with the problem of finding you a first name."

"What about Britney?" Skywarp insisted. "We can add a title, like Lady, or Princess…"

"Skywarp, I'm warning you…"

"Queen Elizabeth? Madonna?"

"SKYWARP!"

"What?"

"Those are feminine names, you glitchead!"

"So?"

"I am not a slagging femme, in case you haven't noticed!"

"Thank Primus for that. You would be such an ugly girl… and grumpy."

"I'm not ugly!"

"Well, you are certainly not as handsome as I am. And now that I think about it, you don't deserve to be called Madonna… She is like hot, for a fleshling."

"Would you two shut up?" Thundercracker growled. "We are wasting time. If we don't find a name soon, Starscream will have to use the first one we find."

Skywarp pushed Thundercracker from the console of the computer and analyzed the screen full of human names.

"What about Megan?"

"That is also feminine!" Starscream complained.

"And Shia?"

"Enough! I had enough of you two morons. I'll do this myself."

--------------

Starscream began to scroll through the list of human names before him, his lips curling into a contemptuous grimace. He hated the thought of giving up his beloved name, his identity, his power... But giving it up for something as humiliating as a human denomination, it was shattering.

"What about Chris...Michael, Frank, Hugo...?"

Names rolled over Thundercracker's lips but Starscream wasn't really listening; none of those names were worthy of him.

"...Josh, John, Peter...?"

"Ughh, they are all repulsive names!!" the ex Seeker finally exclaimed. "How can those accursed fleshlings stand having such pathetic designations! I want something powerful, slaggit, something that resembles my true identity!"

"What about Isobel then?"

"That joke is getting really old really quickly, Skywarp!"

"Something that resembles Starscream," Thundercracker said, rubbing his chin and ignoring his purple wingmate. "I don't think that's going to be easy to find, especially with time against us. Well, what if we start with names that begin with the letter S?"

"It's worth a try, at least it cuts down on the number of options to search through," Starscream sighed.

Thundercracker amended the search terms in the database he was exploring.

"Ok...well, we've still got over ten thousand options, and that's after I excluded all the names unsuited to the human society in Portland."

"Great..." Starscream mumbled.

"Let's just go in alphabetical order, then," the blue Seeker said before reading off the dreaded list. "Sam. It means 'bright as the sun'."

"No."

"Samuel."

"No."

"You sure? It says here it means 'like the sun'. Both of those could be good options for you, since your denomination contains the word 'star', and the sun is a star. It might be suitable for..."

"I said no," Starscream interrupted angrily. "Next?"

"Sawyer."

"No."

"Scott."

"No."

"Sean...Sebastian...ohh, that means 'majestic'. You consider yourself majestic, don't you Starscream?"

"What was that?"

"Majestic, the name Sebastian means majestic."

"No, I heard that. The one before it."

"Ahh...Sean. Why? You like it?"

Starscream remained silent for a few astro seconds, repeating the foreign name over and over in his mind. He didn't know why, but there was something attractive about that name, something that resembled his Cybertronian designation if he stretched his imagination.

Starscream...Sean...Starscream...Sean...Sean...Sean...

"What does it mean?" the human finally asked, the slightest hint of optimism in his voice.

"Ahh... 'heavenly generosity'."

From his place on Starscream's workbench, Skywarp snorted with laughter.

"Generous?!" the Seeker exclaimed between guffaws. "Is it possible to find a name less suited? Calling him generous is like calling Soundwave bubbly!"

"Frag off, you stupid glitch," Starscream spat harshly. "I'm the most generous being in this base and don't you forget it. If it wasn't for my generosity you would have been dead millions of vorns ago."

"Ohh, yeah, I can see how that makes you so generous...pfffttt...you talk such slag sometimes Screamer, you're hilarious!"

"So, are you going to use it, or do we have to waste what little remains of your time left on this base searching endlessly through names? Need I remind you that you still don't know anything about this city you're about to be dumped in."

"It's not great...but I suppose it will have to do," Starscream conceded, rubbing the back of his head. "Sean Latta...it could be worse. Well, I guess that's it then, the end of my Cybertronian existence."

"Ahh, don't be too sad Sean," Skywarp said, sliding off the workbench to make his way over to his two companions. "Now that you have a name you can start thinking about more important things. Like pick-up lines; I doubt 'what a pair of curves...too bad I'm scarce of breaks', or 'I'm ready to become one with the matrix because I have seen paradise' are gonna work with the human femmes."

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response."

"You just did."

"Argh! For Primus' sake, you stupid Pit-spawned son of a glitch! I swear when I'm back to normal...!!"

"Hey, cut it out you two!" Thundercracker cried, exasperated. "Now, Starscream, what else do you need help with? You don't have a lot of time left."

"What do you mean what else do I need help with? Everything!! Don't you morons realize that I don't know anything about the primitive human society? Anything!"

"Relax, Sean, or you will blow a gasket, or whatever you have in that ugly frame."

"Stop calling me that, Skywarp!"

"It's your name now, isn't it?"

"Skywarp is right, Starscream. It would be better if you start to get used to that designation."

"I will... as soon as I leave the base. In the meantime, can you please keep calling by my name, my real name?"

Skywarp tilted his head. "Ok ok... Screamer will be, then."

"That's not my fragging... oh who cares? Call me whatever, I don't give a slag!"

"As you command, Whatever..."

"Warp, shut it."

Starscream let himself fall on the console of the computer. He was tired, completely exhausted. He didn't know what he was doing, what reasons he had to keep struggling against a fate every astro second more unbearable. His first cycles as a human being had been a living hell so far, but what was waiting for him outside the Nemesis could be nothing but worse. He would be alone, alone in a city full of flesh creatures, dirty, primitive, foreign... He had no idea of their habits, of their culture, not even of the way they handled a simple conversation. He was doomed, this was a path with no return.

Something prodded his shoulder, moving his body to the side.

"...scream?" he heard within the fog his head was. He definitely wasn't feeling well. He wondered if the damn whiskey fuel was still acting within his body. But he didn't feel like purging again; the disturbance was in his head, which suddenly was feeling so heavy and hot.

"W...what?" he muttered weakly.

Thundercracker retired his hand. "I asked if you knew the basics about this Portland city... Are you sure your status is functional, Starscream?"

"Yes, I'm sure, and yes I know the basics about Portland or whatever its name is... we have flown above it dozens of times. I'm more concerned about where I'm going to recharge once I get there, and what kind of fuel will I consume."

"In terms of fuel, you should try to have a balanced diet."

"What the slag is a balanced diet?" Skywarp asked.

Thundercracker shot him an aggressive glance. "The human network states it is important that humans consume certain kinds of fuel, like vegetables, fruits..."

"Alright, alright," Starscream interrupted. "But that doesn't change the fact that I don't have a slagging place to recharge there."

"You'll figure something out," Skywarp said. "I'm sure you can acquire some sort of dwelling for yourself."

"And how do you suggest I do that, genius? I don't have human credits, do I? Or any kind of human currency for the matter..."

"Well, get it you fool! Aren't you a Decepticon, sort of?"

Thundercracker cleared his vocaliser. "Now that Skywarp mentioned it, you should seriously consider keeping a low profile, Starscream. Getting involved in illegal activities certainly will not help you in your mission. The Autobots like honesty and that kind of behaviour."

"Tell me something I don't know! Of course I don't intend to show up on the Autobots' doorstep with a criminal record behind me, but there is no way I can survive without financial support."

"Well, get a job then," Thundercracker said.

Skywarp laughed. "Yeah, why don't you try being a stripper? Rumble said that the recording of your cleaning session was highly successful on that human web page. Seems like the fleshlings like your little naked aft."

"I swear, Skywarp, if I weren't in a hurry... but nonsense aside, do you morons actually believe I will get a job?? That's not my style!"

Thundercracker scratched his head. "Well, you had a job before, remember?"

"Yeah," Skywarp intervened. "You were a scientist geek before playing the soldier boy."

"That was different and I don't want to talk about it."

"Why? Because of that Skyfire fragger...?"

"I told you to shut it, Skywarp!"

"Pfft... whatever. You are as much of a geek as he is."

"Maybe you can try something related to science," Thundercracker said. "That could get you closer to the Autobots... and to the humans."

"I don't have any intention of getting close to those filthy, fleshy beasts, so getting a job is out of the question!"

"I bet you a thousand energon cubes that you will get closer to those filthy beasts than you ever thought. Are you sure you don't want to work on your pick-up lines? If you are going to be forced into that world, at least try to have some fun. And what better fun than the ladies?"

"I like to have fun with real femmes, not inferior specimens."

"You are so boring. If I were you, I would spend the entire day rocking those human femmes. You are so lucky, if you consider it. To find a real femme we have to travel all the way to Cybertron, and in that Portland place you will have tons of femmes, thousands! And all for yourself..."

"I mean it Skywarp! I'm facing an inferno here and all you can talk about is about femmes? What in the pit is wrong with you??"

"Oh, I give up! Slag yourself, then. Me and TC are only trying to help you."

"You can take your help and..."

The door hissed open, revealing a small but mocking silhouette.

"What do you want, Rumble? We are busy here," Thundercracker growled.

"Time for Screamer to go," the blue Cassetticon said.

Starscream got up, almost falling from the console. "What? Megatron said I had three terrestrial hours!"

"Yep, but Soundwave still has to perform a little procedure on you..."

"What do you mean procedure?" Thundercracker suspiciously asked.

"Dunno the details. Just come, pronto! Megatron doesn't take no for an answer, ya know him."

Starscream felt his body shivering. His forehead was damp; fear or sickness, he didn't know anymore. Question was if he cared.

To be continued.


Well, that was our little homage to some of the great actors who gave their voices to our favourite characters. Some of them sadly have already departed and are one with the Matrix, like Scatman Crothers (unforgettable Jazz) and Mr. Christopher Collins, aka Chris Latta, who obviously inspired Starscream's human name in this fic. We dedicate this story to him with all our love. Intense, complex and multifaceted, Chris gave not only a voice but a part of his own soul to Starscream, turning him into the character we couldn't help but love. What a way to reach immortality.