Chapter 27

Home, sweet home

Scale was something that had never bothered Starscream. He was both used to and comfortable with measures in a world of variety such as the Cybertronian one, but only because he had always had very respectable dimensions. It was only when he was turned into a human that he started to realize how important height was, and how insufferable it was to be on the midget's side.

He had been inside the Ark once – when he and Megatron had altered one of the Autobots' regeneration chambers to turn them evil – but he had been in too much of a hurry to really admire the interiors of the enemy's most important vessel and current base of operations. Only now, as he walked through it trapped in his flesh and blood prison, did Starscream begin to realize how impressive and huge that monster of orange walls really was.

"This is what you could call the Refueling Room," the male Autobot-pet informed him – Spike was his name, Starscream recalled… He'd better start calling those human pests by their denominations or he could make a fatal mistake at any moment. "It's where the Autobots refuel with Energon. It's like eating to them, although drinking would be a better way to describe it."

"I see," Starscream replied, trying his best to show slight interest. Not only he was utterly bored by having to listen the stupidest version of things he already knew, but he was hating every moment spent with that moronic Spike boy; the idiotic flesh bag talking as if he were some sort of expert in Cybertronian culture…

"It must be really interesting to interact with these cybernetic organisms on a regular basis," he said, addressing Carly, who was walking beside Spike, holding on to her boyfriend's arm. "They seem infinitely more advanced than our poor human kind."

Both Carly and Spike raised an eyebrow and looked at him with surprise. Starscream made a mental note to remember to avoid being critical about human culture… Slag, it was such an annoyance!

"Well," Carly said, "I wouldn't call two hundred thousand years of human history poor… but I guess you are right somehow. The Transformers are much more advanced than us, the rules of their society certainly very interesting when compared with ours."

"The former rules of their society, you mean," Spike added, frowning suddenly and clenching his fists. "After the Decepticons started the war everything changed radically. Those assholes care for nothing more than destruction and conquest."

Now it was Starscream who raised an eyebrow. Did that human have such a narrowed mind that he had accepted the Autobots' propaganda so easily? Starscream had always been a true follower of the ideals of Decepticon supremacy, but he would have never reduced them to simple words such as destruction or conquest. And the war issue… For the Primary Program, did those humans actually believe it had been the Decepticons who had started the war? What kind of sick joke was that?

He had to make an effort to suppress the desire to punch Spike's face until his head became one with the wall. He focused his attention on Carly instead, a much more pleasant sight. He had been killing his boredom for the last few minutes imagining how she would look without her clothes and how would she perform on a berth, a curiosity that he was sure to satisfy very soon.

"Yeah, I heard some things about these Decepticons," he said eventually. "Very evil creatures, indeed. What they did earlier today was so vile."

"Fortunately the Autobots always keep them under control," Spike added proudly, "and it's just a matter of time until they finally kick their lousy Decepticreep asses off of this planet."

We shall see who kicks who, worm, especially after I give all the classified intel of your precious Autobots to my 'lousy' faction…

"Anyway, we should keep the rest of this tour for tomorrow," Carly said, looking at Starscream with sympathy. "You look tired and you need to rest. Let's take Sean to his room, Spike."

Starscream followed them through another set of corridors until they reached one that featured doors of considerably smaller sizes. It was true, then; the Autobots had adapted some of the Ark's quarters for their human pets. What could be more degrading?

Spike headed toward a door located in the middle and pushed a red button. "This will be yours," he said. "You can add a password to your door if you want, but it's really not necessary. Everybody here respects each other's privacy, especially ours. Despite having been our friends for almost two years now, the Autobots still don't understand many things about humans' modesty and sometimes they can overreact."

"I understand," Starscream smirked. "So no walking in my underwear in the corridors, got it."

Spike laughed at the joke, but Carly didn't seem to find it amusing.

"There you have a bed, some cabinets for your clothes, a desk, a computer…" Spike said once he finished laughing. "That door leads to the bathroom and the other one to an emergency exit. Don't use it, though; you could get lost within the Ark's tunnels. Anyway, you'll see that this place is like a hotel. If you need something, just dial 9."

Starscream supposed that must have been some sort of joke because Spike laughed again and Carly grinned. Stupid humans and their pitiful attempts at amusement… Let's see if you keep laughing when I interface with your girlfriend in ten different positions before breaking her pathetic heart, literally."

"Right," he said, faking a smile. "Well, thank you very much for the briefing, you both have been so gentle with me... Now, if you don't mind, I would like to wash myself and have some rest."

"Sure, we'll be in the room next door, if you need anything," Spike said, starting to head towards the door.

"Just one more thing," Starscream said, doing his best to hide his second intentions. "This jacket that the paramedics gave me is very uncomfortable, and my pants are dirtier than I can tolerate. Would you happen to have some extra clothes to lend me?"

"I think some of your clothes would fit him, Spike," Carly said with a neutral tone that made Starscream realize that she had read between his lines.

Spike slapped his forehead. "Sure! Sorry Sean, I should have thought of that myself. I'll get you something whilst Carly explains the safety codes to you. It's a routine thing but you better know. I'll be back in two seconds!"

With that, Spike disappeared beyond the door's threshold, leaving Starscream and Carly alone, finally.

He was sure she had been aware of his little antic to get rid of her annoying boyfriend, but Starscream didn't care. He preferred her to have some intelligence, thus the challenge of seducing her would be worth it and she wouldn't turn into an easy berth mate as Stella had been from the very first moment.

Carly frowned at him slightly before proceeding to the small computer. That made Starscream feel disappointed; he would have liked to hear her snapping at him rather than ignoring her own annoyance. My dear, you don't know how accurate your instincts concerning me are… You should follow them now while you still can.

"The safety codes are a basic series of numbers that the Autobots insisted we learn in case we get in trouble," Carly explained. "The Ark is the safest place for a human as you will see, but still, Optimus wants us to be as safe and as comfortable as possible—"

"So your room is next to mine," he said, not having heard a word of what she had said. "Do you and your boyfriend share quarters all the time?"

The femme's face coloured slightly in red. Starscream smirked. Slag, it was so arousing to annoy her…

"That's none of your business," she said severely.

Starscream gave her his best seductive smirk. He had made so many femmes get on their knees – and some mechs too – with that same smile. He just hoped that, despite being a flesh bag now, the effect would be similar.

"Well, I hope you have your own room." he said. "Then perhaps you would be interested in having a nocturnal visitor."

"I would be," she said, confronting him with a challenging stare, "if such visitor were Spike, my boyfriend."

"Ouch," Starscream said, grinning as she turned towards the door.

"There is a kitchen at the end of the corridor," she said with no sympathy at all. "Spike and I always make sure to keep the fridge full, so if you get hungry in the middle of the night, just go and help yourself."

"What if I get aroused?"

She turned around and stared at him. This time her glare irradiated fury.

"Then go and stroke yourself against a bulkhead or something. What the hell is wrong with you?"

Momentarily taken aback by her outburst, Starscream decided to back off a little, just a little…

"Hey, don't get mad at me. I was just joking."

"I happen to find your jokes very tacky. I'm starting to understand why you lived alone. Who would be able to stand you?"

Starscream considered her words. He had to admit she had a point with that… None of his fellow Decepticons had ever liked him, not even his wingmates. The only Decepticon who spent considerable amounts of time with him was Megatron, and only because he was always looking forward to verbal and physical confrontations; his leader seemed to need them as much as Starscream did…

He got rid of that thought with a shake of his head. It was somewhat sick, now that he thought about it, especially because it was always him who ended up slammed against a wall or with a not-that-mild fusion cannon shot… "Um, well, I'm afraid I have no response to that one, except that it will be you who will have to… how did you put it? Oh yes, stand me."

Carly raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"You promised your Autobot friend you would take me to a hospital tomorrow to get examined, remember? Ratchet, I think that was his name… Of course, if you are not willing to honour your word I'm okay with that. I can go on my own, if I don't faint or bleed to death, that is."

She rolled her eyes considerably. "Oh, and now you are the poor victim, aren't you? Don't worry! I said I would take you to a hospital and that's what I'll do."

"You are such an angel," he hissed, unzipping the heavy jacket the paramedics had given him to replace his bloody shirt and jacket. He threw it to the bed nonchalantly, certain that his well shaped torso was doing its work on the femme's libido.

"I have a question," he heard her saying when he unbuttoned his jeans. "Do I happen to be a painting on the wall or did you just forget I'm standing here?"

"Uh?" he asked, trying to look as innocent as he could.

"I mean that it would be so kind of you to wait until I go before taking your clothes off."

"I'm just going to take a shower, like I said. Why the sudden interest? Would you like to join me?"

Carly's face reflected more than simple annoyance. "Who the hell do you think you are talking to? I don't know the kind of girls you usually deal with, but dare to speak to me like that again and you'll know what it feels to be slapped, really slapped."

Starscream smirked. "My, my… I'm so afraid."

Spike arrived before she could say anything else, which highly displeased Starscream. The human boy was carrying a pile of clothes very enthusiastically, although his smile disappeared the moment he saw Starscream shirtless and with his jeans partially unzipped.

"Hey, thanks," Starscream said, taking the clothes from the boy's arms and not caring a slag about whatever he could be thinking. "I'll give them back to you tomorrow."

"You… can keep them," Spike said, confused. Pathetic human worm… are you already jealous of me? Tss tss, this will certainly be amusing! You and your slagging bond mate will pay for giving me the mental image that turned me into a fleshling!

"There are plastic bags in the cabinets," Carly said coldly. "Make sure to cover your bandages before showering. Let's go, Spike. Sean has had a tiring day and I'm sure he needs to cool down, don't you Sean?"

Carly didn't wait for an answer and seized Spike's hand, guiding him towards the door.

"Good night, friends!" Starscream said, doing his best to avoid bursting into laughter. "Thanks again. For everything, you know…"

As soon as the door closed, Starscream made good use of his recently discovered climbing skills and inspected every inch of his new room. He didn't find any hidden cameras or microphones. As he had suspected, the Autobots were beyond foolish concerning trust. But what could be expected from a gang of lame dreamers, after all? Another reason why they were losing the war; thousands of vorns of conflict and the Autobots still hadn't learned about the value of information, especially the kind of information that could be obtained from within their own ranks.

Starscream shrugged his shoulders and headed towards the bathroom, thankful for the tidiness of the place. He smirked, slightly surprised, when he took off his pants and noticed the bulge beneath his underpants.

"Now, easy there, my friend. You will have that femme in less cycles than you could count," he said in low voice. Talking to himself was nothing new, but talking to his intimate circuitry was another thing. Perhaps it came with the human condition. And to think that he had been so embarrassed by that hanging piece of flesh at the beginning… it certainly had proved to have its advantages.

Having a shower helped to, as Carly had said, cool him down, mostly because he had to keep his attention focused on not getting his bandages wet. Despite the plastic he used to cover them, water was a difficult rival to control. It was such a shame that Spike had returned; he was about to trick Carly into helping him shower using the excuse of the blasted bandages… but well, it would happen some other time. He had never failed in getting laid by whoever he might have found attractive by his standards – something that happened every once in a while – and this Carly femme was not going to be the exception. Well, there was another exception, one that had been frustrating him for millenniums… just the thought of it made him clench his fists in anger. He didn't know who he hated the most: that certain brutish, maniacal slagger, or himself for being so weak.

When he finally felt satisfied by his personal hygiene he directed his steps to the bed. As he dried his hair with a towel, he shot a disdainful look at the clothes Spike had brought him and quickly decided he would rather spend the night naked. It was much more comfortable that way, not to mention that he had spent most of his human nights wearing no clothes at all. Of course, it was much better with a female companion by his side, but he had to be realistic and realize that he would have some lonely nights, especially now that he was already inside the Ark and with a crucial mission in progress, the reward being the recovery of his true self…

Starscream shook his head and closed his eyes, forcing himself to sleep. He felt more tired than he had thought, and his body ached in parts that he hadn't acknowledged before. Slagging Ravage, slag you to the Pit… just wait until I recover my body and I'll show you who is the predator and who the prey!

Starscream was beginning to fall asleep when, as if coming right from hell, the accursed voice of a certain brutish, maniacal slagger drilled his head from inside. Still shivering in hate, the former Second in Command sat up on the edge of the bed to attend the call from his leader.

The sound of that voice could never been forgotten. Even when carried through a plastic transmitter and interpreted through an inferior human aural system, it remained one of the most recognisable sounds in his universe. Starscream resisted the urge to raise his voice in anger as Megatron continued to bark at him from afar, resigning himself to the fact that clenched fists would remain his only vent during his time in the Ark. How he would have loved to shout obscenities at his tormentor at that moment...but doing so would only attract the attention of his new 'friends'. Curse his luck!

"...Of course, I can't say that I was pleased to see the damage you caused to Ravage, and nor was he, as you would imagine. You might want to stay away from him from now on if you value your pathetic little life...although personally, I think I'd quite enjoy seeing such an encounter."

Starscream thumped the edge of his bed in frustration, hate poisoning him like spoiled milk.

"Yes, and on that topic, oh mighty leader," he hissed through gritted teeth, "you might like to tell that slagging telepathic freak of yours that when the Second in Command orders Rumble and Frenzy to be sent, it's his duty to do as he's told."

Megatron's cold laugh made itself heard through the comm. link, making the human shiver with rage. "First of all," he chortled in response, "Soundwave is the Second in Command. Surely I shouldn't need to remind you of that. And second, he was following orders. My orders."

"What?" Starscream shrieked. "Once again your logic eludes me, oh glorious one. There was a reason why I requested the assistance of those two runts and not that of their slagging beast of a sibling, as you should well know. Thanks to you I nearly died, and I'd hate to think what that would have done to your plans of infiltrating the Ark."

"Stop being so melodramatic, you snivelling worm! You should be thanking me, you fool, without my intervention you would never have been successful."

"Oh yes, and I will forever be in your debt, my leader. Slag! You are more insane than I thought if you think you actually helped me today."

"Now is not the time to jest, Starscream," Megatron said, his voice taking on a dangerous tone. "You do indeed owe me, and I expect your debts to be paid. I have a new mission for you, worm, so use that pathetic brain of yours and pay attention."

The young man stood up abruptly at his Commander's words, no longer able to contain the fury inside. Who the slag did that megalomaniac think he was, Primus himself? "Excuse me?" he spat, exasperated. Do you actually think I'm here to play whatever sick games you dream up with Optimus Prime? I am here for one reason, and one reason only. To infiltrate the Autobot ranks and win their trust so as to put us in a position to attack. And in return, you will restore me to my true form, as agreed. I am not here to undertake side missions to please your whim, so you may as well save your words."

"I see."

Starscream began to pace as his hands clenched at his sides, a deadly silence invading the comm. link. It was tempting to say more on the matter, but he knew his leader too well to know he wouldn't win this battle. Slag his pathetic body, if only he could retaliate with threats and violence as he always did; if only he could simply switch off the communication device implanted in his head so he could simply ignore the slagger...

"Hear this, human," Megatron said finally. "I have had Soundwave and the Constructicons working tirelessly to find the missing element required to replicate the waters of the Well of Transformation. To my disappointment, they have been more successful than I thought possible and have narrowed the search down considerably. You should understand that I will have no problems in telling them to cease their research. It does not matter to me if you are restored or not. So if you want them to continue searching for an answer, you will do as you are told. Choose to ignore me, and you will remain human for what's left of your pathetic and perishable life. Do I make myself clear?"

The human shivered, biting his lip with helplessness. So that was how it was going to be then? Surrender to Megatron's slagged up games, or remain trapped in that revolting prison of skin and bones for all of his days. He kicked the bed and immediately regretted it, pain searing through his toes like fire.

"Slag it!" he cried, taking hold of his foot and hopping awkwardly. "You must know how it tortures me to say this, Megatron, but fine, you win. You win. So tell me, what is this mission you would have me fulfil?"

"You really are such a wretched creature, Starscream, so easily dominated. It's a simple task, really, although for one such as yourself, it may prove difficult."

"Enough with the slag, Megatron, you know I would do anything to be returned to my former glory, returned to the path of greatness. Nothing is beyond me."

"You'd do anything? Interesting choice of words, Starscream, I shall keep that in mind. But no matter. Soundwave has recently developed a new programme designed to infiltrate computer networks and glean information without detection. Testing has proven it to be highly successful, and with it we will be able to acquire enormous amounts of data from Teletraan 1. However, in order to be able to breach Teletraan's security systems, we need to know the current access codes. Soundwave has been successful in ascertaining them in the past, but the process takes time. Too much time. We need to know them the moment they are generated, so as to maximise the window of opportunity, so to speak. Your task is simple. Install the programme on Prime's personal computer. While we will not be able to gain direct access to Teletraan at this point, it will give us the codes we require."

"Simple task!" Starscream cried. "Why don't you ask me to infect Prime himself, while I'm at it? How do you expect me to gain access to his computer?"

"That, Starscream, is not my problem. And didn't you just tell me that nothing is beyond you? Are you now telling me that you lied? Be careful worm, I do not abide liars."

"You know that isn't what I'm saying!" Starscream said forcefully, sitting on the bed and inspecting his bruised foot. "For starters, how am I supposed to obtain this magical programme of Soundwave's, hm? In case you hadn't noticed, I now have an Autobot entourage. Although their trust in me is already sickeningly deep, thanks to the damage Ravage left me with, the damn slaggers will be watching me closely for weeks, just to make sure I'm functional. Plus, I no longer have a means of transportation, again thanks to Ravage. If you want me to do this, I will need it hand delivered."

"That can be arranged, so long as you can distract the Autobots long enough to allow the delivery to take place."

"I have an emergency exit located in my quarters, if you can find someone competent enough to find their way here then you shouldn't have any problem getting the programme to me. But if whoever you send gets caught, then don't go blaming me. I have a facade to maintain, and I won't have my chances of restoration blown because of the incompetence of others."

"Perhaps I should send Ravage. He, unlike you, never fails in the tasks he's given. Ok, Starscream, I will be generous to you, just this once. In exactly two cycles from now, you will receive another communication from either myself or Soundwave. You will have whatever you need in place ready for the delivery. Fail in this, and you will be expected to retrieve the programme yourself."

The communication ended immediately, giving Starscream no chance to retaliate. He lay back on the bed, arms behind his head in a position that hid his true turmoil. Curse that slagger, how was it possible for him to torture him so successfully...and in so many ways.

The human glared up at the ceiling, longing to see that well-known shade of purple. But he would not see purple again, not unless he carried out Megatron's deluded plans successfully. A fist of flesh impacted the wall. Curse that slagger.

Curse him to the pit.

To be continued.

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