This chapter went a COMPLETELY different direction than I planned. But okay. Please review. Hope none of you are looking for a pick me up cuz this chapter isn't it. Don't own anyone you've seen on glee, they are Ryan's...lucky bastard.

Blaine watched Kurt from his place at the kitchen table. Kurt was subdued and shockingly quiet, as he had been for the past four days. Four days since he had gotten it in his head that he had nearly raped Blaine, though in Blaine's mind that is not what happened, but there was no convincing Kurt of that. Blaine didn't believe that Kurt would have taken it that far, even if he hadn't noticed Blaine's distress when he did. Kurt had drank a little too much, but he was no rapist.

"Kurt..." Blaine said softly, hating how Kurt was punishing both of them. Kurt slowly looked up at him, his eyes still full of guilt and sadness, "Please stop beating yourself up," he begged. "I'm over it, I am not emotionally scarred, I'm not scared of you, or your touch." Kurt flinched at the word, before jumping in surprised when Blaine appeared behind him. "In fact, I'm desperate for it," Kurt shut his eyes and swallowed hard, reminding himself that Blaine didn't mean to sound as sexual as he did, he meant to sound like a lost puppy, needing attention, something Kurt wasn't sure he could risk giving, not after what had happened.

"You don't have to try to make me feel better. I screwed up, and we both know it," Kurt replied.

"No, you think it and I just miss you. I know I don't feel even half of what you did when I woke up and I pushed you away, but even the little bit that I am feeling right now, sucks." Blaine replied, reaching for Kurt's hand only to have Kurt turn toward the meal that he was making, in almost a natural way that no one else would have thought anything of, but Blaine knew was Kurt's purposeful way of not touching him.

"Kurt," Blaine whined, but then Kurt spun around and Blaine gasped softly in surprise.

"It was always me drawing the line when we first started dating. It was always me that wasn't ready, it was always me that wanted to wait. And you respected that, you waited even thought you wanted more. But when the tables turned and it was you that wasn't ready," Kurt turned back away, "I couldn't return the courtesy.e"

"God," Blaine cried, "I had no idea you could be such a drama queen." Kurt looked at him with an expression that Blaine couldn't name, he knew it wasn't hurt or anger, but he had the suspicion, 26 year old Blaine had seen it before. "I have had FAR worse done to me than what happened the other night. My father has beat me up, I have been jumped...twice! I just wanted you to slow down, I never wanted you to torture both of us by treating me like I'm diseased."

"Tears don't say to me, 'slow down'." Kurt replied, Blaine groaned in frustration.

"You are a stubborn one aren't you?" Kurt once again pulled away when Blaine tried to take his hand and Blaine considered just grabbing his face and forcing him to see that he wasn't damaged, that he wasn't afraid, that he wasn't forever changed.

"I know what it's like to have unwanted touch forced on you. No, mine wasn't as bad as what I did, but..."

"You can't compare what Karofsky did to what you did! He was your bully. You are my HUSBAND! And I love you and I overreacted, kinda like you are right now."

"You didn't overreact! You had every right to panic. You had been molested by those guys on the street not two hours before and then all of a sudden I am doing the same thing. Which is worse because you trusted me!"

"Trusted? My trust in you is not past tense, Kurt, I have never trusted anyone more than I trust you, ever.

"Well there is your first mistake," Kurt muttered. Blaine opened his mouth to continue the argument, but a song interrupted them,

"Free Credit Report dot com...slash savings." Kurt groaned softly and reached for his phone and the tone started to repeat.

"Now is really not the best time, Coop," Kurt answered.

"Hello to you too," Blaine heard Cooper answer. Kurt sighed and ran his fingers roughly through his hair.

"What do you want?"

"Wow, can I have my sweet, funny, nice brother in law back instead of the bitch that has answered the phone." Cooper responded, Blaine frowned at Cooper calling Kurt a bitch, but Kurt just rolled with it.

"The bitch is all that you get right now, so unless you want me to hang up on you, what do you want?" Blaine had never heard Kurt speak to anyone like that and he was a little taken aback, and all he wanted to do was fix it, to make Kurt feel better.

"Well I was going to invite you to dinner tonight, but now I'm thinking maybe that's not the best idea." Kurt exhaled heavily,

"You know, now is really not a good time." Then it hit Blaine, Kurt and Cooper were close, close enough to speak to each other like brothers and still be close when the conversation ended. Cooper could help Kurt see that it wasn't his fault.

"No, I want to go," Blaine said loud enough that he knew Cooper heard him too.

"Are you-" Kurt began but then sighed and nodded, "What time?"

"6:30." Cooper replied. "Is everything okay, Kurtsy? I mean other than you sounding like you have a serious case of PMS," Kurt shut his eyes and exhaled,

"Yeah, I'm fine, we'll see you at 6." When Kurt ended the call he looked at Blaine who smiled softly back at him.

"Maybe Cooper talk some sense into you, since you won't listen to me," Blaine admitted his plan. Kurt growled in annoyance,

"Blaine, you are mentally fourteen, which means maybe you don't understand the significance of what I did to you." Blaine whipped around, scowling deeply,

"You think a fourteen year old doesn't know whether they have been raped or not?" Kurt was obviously taken aback by Blaine's fierceness. "You think just because I am young that doesn't mean I don't know when I want or don't want something? I love you, damn it! And maybe I wasn't ready for what you did the other night, but if the roles were reversed and I did that to you, would you consider it rape? WOULD YOU?" Blaine wasn't entirely sure why he was suddenly so angry, but he just had the feeling that Kurt knew something he didn't, when he leaned back on the counter and swallowed hard. "Oh god... I did something like this before...didn't I?" Kurt shook his head,

"You didn't know any better, I did."

"What happened?" Blaine asked, his voice shaking as his mind went through worst case scenarios, all of them leaving him nauseous.

"We went to a gay bar, we were 16 and 17, and you got drunk and handsy and...we argued and we apologized the next day," Kurt explained as if he were talking about the weather.

"What are you not telling me?" Kurt sighed,

"Can't we just wait until you get your memories back?"

"And if that never happens?" Blaine retorted.

"Then life goes on," Kurt said, rolling his eyes along with Blaine and that terrible come back. "Look we were young and stupid and at first I thought it was great, but then I realized I didn't want to do it when you were drunk and had been..." He cut himself off and Blaine saw him mouth a curse word. "Do you remember Sebastian?" Blaine nodded, "He was the one that had invited us to the bar, and you spent most of the night dancing with him and I was upset and jealous." He bit his lips hesitantly, "I'm glad we didn't do it that night, but we got over it, because Sebastian didn't matter and you knew you had made a mistake."

"So why is it so hard for you to grant the same mercy to yourself as you did to me?"

"I've already told you why, you were 16, I'm 27, I don't get a free pass." Blaine suddenly grabbed Kurt's waist and pulled him close, Kurt's arms moved to go around his neck, before being forcibly shoved down.

"There. See that," Blaine refused to let go of Kurt, even as he struggled. "It's instinct, I know it is, because I have it too. It was your instinct to touch me, to want to have sex with me. It's why it only took me a couple of weeks to fall back in love with you. It's an instinctual need with us, we need each other." Blaine knew exactly what he was doing as he breathed on Kurt's neck, watching as Kurt fought every fiber of his being to not respond. "Please don't be mad at yourself for following your instincts, we are like animals." Suddenly Kurt ripped out of Blaine hold,

"Maybe animals can fuck whenever they get the urge, but we can't." Kurt stormed off, leaving a surprised, speechless Blaine behind him, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

FMNFMNFMNFMNFMNFMNFMNFMN

When 5:30 rolled around, Kurt still hadn't spoken to Blaine or forgiven himself, though Blaine did apologize for what he had done earlier and making it harder on Kurt. If Blaine asked him a question he would nod or shake his head, but offered no words or opinions. When they started walking to subway, Kurt would reach out and grab his sleeve to guide him when he felt Blaine getting confused, but otherwise no touch or comfort was offered. Blaine didn't know it was possible to be as frustrated as he was, it was like being a child again when his parents only spoke to him when they felt it absolutely necessary.

"Look we can't completely ignore each other at Cooper's, he's going to know something is wrong." Blaine tried, but Kurt shrugged, but spoke for the first time since lunch time,

"He already knows."

"And what exactly are we going to tell him?" Blaine asked,

"Whatever you want to."

"You are infuriating, Kurt, I'm trying here, and you are treating me like a non-person! Is this what it's like to have a moody teenager? Because I'm not sure I ever want to experience that if it is!" Blaine had turned away from Kurt, but if he hadn't he would have seen the complete devastation on his face at his unthoughtful words. Even if he still didn't know that they were waiting to hear from the adoption agency. The rest of the trip was silent and when they finally reached Cooper's door, Kurt turned to him, grabbing his arm,

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't want to hurt you, but I have never been on the other end of having to wait until someone is ready to move further. I hate that I have to tiptoe around you with that when we have been sexually active for 9 years. I hate that I feel like some kind of pedophile because I know you are fourteen, even if your body is the body of my 26 year old husband. And I miss being with him. I miss the touching and kissing and the talking. Especially that. I miss being able to talk to my husband about anything and everything. And I love you, I do, but you aren't him." Blaine looked at Kurt and felt like his heart had been ripped out and stepped on. He was trying so hard to be what Kurt wanted and needed, but he couldn't be, not until he got his memory back. And if that never happened, then Kurt would stay with him out of obligation and he would resent Blaine, like it seemed he was already starting to.

"Well, this is a surprise," a voice hit Blaine like a pile of bricks and he felt like he was going to vomit.

"D-dad? What are you doing here?" Blaine's voice quaked, he couldn't handle this right now, he really couldn't.

"Cooper invited us to dinner, he didn't tell us you would be here," his father word 'us' was the first time he realized his mother was with him.

"Hello, Mom," he greeted her weakly.

"Hi, Dear, it's so good to see you," she hugged him tightly.

"Which would explain why you called in to check on him so often," Kurt spoke for the first time in a biting tone that told then all he didn't approve. Mrs. Anderson nodded,

"You're right, I should have at least called, I have no excuse other than being scared of what I would hear." Kurt let out a dry laugh before shaking his head, could this night get any worse? Of course when you have that thought, it usually does.

"Hey guys," Cooper opened his apartment door, gulping hard when he saw the look of fury on his brother in law's face. "Come on in."

Dun-du-duuuuu...How's that for a cliff hanger? Lol much love to all my readers. The next chapter will be up as soon as I can get it up. I need to also update my Criminal minds fic, which has an even worse cliff hanger than this one. So be patient with me my lovelies I will be back soon xoxoxo