Hello my lovelies! Sorry for the late chapter. It was meant to be up earlier but I was really busy. Here it is though :) The next one might hopefully be up Wednesday/Thursday time. I got a bit sad seeing as I only got one review on the last chapter but eh I'll live. This one's for my LoeLoe :) Enjoy xx
April had merged into late May and the exam stress of the OWL and NEWT students was getting high. After 'the incident' the four Marauders were back together again causing a lot more mischief than usual. They had also been starting on something that they wouldn't let anyone else know about. But then that was the Marauders for you; always full of mystery. All the fifth and seventh years could be seen at any free time of the day revising over everything they had learned and everything they would need for their exams. Even the Marauders (minus Remus who was already stressing out greatly) could be seen to knuckle down and do some revising even though Sirius and James were adamant that they didn't need to do anything because they already knew it all.
Nobody really paid any attention to the confidence of the two Gryffindor's. Everyone knew they would probably fly by all of the exams. Although they spent most of their times pulling pranks, there was always a genius behind them. However, no matter how amazing their pranks were, they didn't seem to please many people who were trying to work. Lily had been known to shout herself horse a lot at the boys which had caused her stress levels to rise dramatically. Lily and Remus weren't the only ones who seemed to be shorter tempered than usual. Lizzie too was starting to crack over the load of homework and revising and it wasn't rare for her to hide in the library to actually get some work done.
As well as the exams coming up, Peter and Vickie had broken up. Lizzie had tried not to sound too pleased about this but had failed in trying to hide her relief. They weren't a good couple; they never had been in her eyes. They had just looked...wrong. Sirius had made her keep quiet though seeing as Peter was his friend and he looked rather heartbroken. Lizzie however couldn't stop herself rolling her eyes every time she saw him moping about. It had been the same kind of reaction with all the girls, before she had started dating Sirius. Every time she had heard that he had broken up with another girl (she found herself lucky that they had lasted as long as they had) she would see them crying for at least a week afterwards, something she found ridiculous seeing as most of his relationships only lasted around a week or two.
Xoxox
It was a Thursday and Lizzie and Lily had come into the common room after dinner to study for their Ancient Runes exam which would be their first on Monday. They had sat at one of the small tables away from the middle of the common room hoping to have a little more peace and quiet. They had their big, heavy books scattered across the table and were testing each other on what each of the ruins said and symbolised. They were doing fine for about half an hour before the Marauders came in. They looked at each other, knowing that their study time would probably be disrupted for tonight but tried to carry on working. However it seemed the boys (even Remus) had plans to disrupt the evening's events.
It was the first firework that did it for Lily. She got out of her chair so fast that it fell over and Lizzie watched as she stormed over to James, fury on her face. ''POTTER!'' She yelled and instantly the whole common room became silent. By now everyone loved it when Lily shouted at James. ''What the hell to you think you're doing?''
''Just creating some stress relief before the exams Lily Flower.'' James said grinning to her. He didn't seem fazed at all by her shouting though he never did.
''If I catch one more disturbance than I will tell McGonagall. Why don't you sit down and study for once?''
''Because I don't need to Flower.''
Lizzie was sure her best friend was going to shout the ceiling down at any moment. Her face had gone as red as her hair with anger. ''NOT ALL OF US CAN PASS EXAMS WITHOUT WORKING FOR IT POTTER. MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET THAT INTO THAT THICK SKULL OF YOURS. YOU TOO BLACK!'' And with that she stormed out of the common room. Lizzie knew Lily had been having a bad day and this had defiantly been the peak of it. She knew she'd better go after Lily, but she would probably want come time to cool down so she left her.
As she got on with her studying alone it wasn't long before she was interrupted again, this time by her brother. He picked up Lily's fallen chair and sat opposite her. Lizzie looked up from her book and smiled at Remus. He seemed as tired as she felt. There were dark circles under his eyes and his hair looked like he had run his hands through it in frustration a few times.
''What's up Rem?'' She asked.
''Lils having a bad day?'' He asked his sister seeing how tired she was.
''Yep. She's not the only one either. I've got so much to learn before Monday; it's driving me crazy. I've got Ancient Runes in the morning and History of Magic in the afternoon, plus Astronomy at night. Then on Tuesday we have Care of Magical Creatures and Potions, Wednesday its Charms and Herbology, Thursday it's both written and practical Defence and then on Friday it's Transfiguration. Seriously why they had to cram everything in a week I'll never know. Plus I've got to go over Transfiguration again because I did my notes wrong and – '' She stopped her worry rant to see her brother chuckling at her. ''What's so funny Remus?'' She said glaring at him slightly.
''You're working yourself too hard. You're panicking yourself too much and that's never good because if you over panic then you're going to lose concentration.'' This seemed to not help the situation at all as Lizzie looked like she was going to panic about panicking too much. ''So I think you should have a rest for tonight, just relax. Have fun.''
Lizzie sighed and looked down at her page in the book. It suddenly seemed to turn very complicated and she knew she couldn't rest. ''I can't Rem, I need to do this chapter at least. If I fail anything I'll never be happy with myself.''
''You're not going to fail anything Lizzie. You're one of the brightest in the year.''
''That doesn't mean anything Remus. Everything could change once I get into the exam.''
''Which is why I told you to stop panicking. Now, come on or I'll get Sirius to come over here and stop you working.'' Remus grinned at her and got out of the chair, grabbed his sister's arm and dragged her over to where the other boys were. Sirius and James were play fighting again and Peter was egging them on. The twins sat down on the sofa and watched them for a while. ''Have you actually told mum about you and Sirius?'' Remus asked.
Lizzie looked at him as though he was mad. ''Of course I haven't Remus. I mean I've tried but I think it's better to tell her in person.'' Her mum didn't really like Sirius (all because of Lizzie's own 'hating' of him before) and so she had found it hard to tell her that she was now dating the one person she said she would never date.
''So you're telling me that you're finally going to tell mum when it's close to your sixth month anniversary?'' Remus asked thinking his sister was leaving it extremely late. He knew why she was leaving it, their mother had always liked Sirius the least but maybe it was better to tell her sooner than later.
''Yeah that's right.'' Lizzie said not seeing the whole thing as a big ordeal. She watched as her boyfriend tackled James to the floor claiming victory only to be flipped onto the floor himself by Prongs who had suddenly got a boost of strength. She watched as the two rolled around on the floor before they called it quits and got off each other. She felt the sofa sag next to her as Sirius sat down and put an arm around her.
''Lele do you have any chocolate?'' He asked panting slightly out of breath.
''Yeah but you're not having any.'' She said looking at him and grinning. She saw Sirius pout and she stuck out her tongue. ''Nope it's mine.''
Suddenly she squealed as Sirius started tickling her. She tried to move out of the way but she slipped off the sofa and fell onto the floor. Sirius was on top of her in an instant, still tickling her. Lizzie tried to push him off but he was too strong for her. The struggle lasted another couple of minutes before Sirius stopped.
''Do you surrender all you're chocolate to me?'' He asked. Lizzie was still trying to catch her breath from laughing too much. She shook her head and the tickling resumed. At last it was James who saved her as he charged into Sirius who was caught in surprise and it made him fall over. Unfortunately he seemed to fall forward onto Lizzie, James on top of him.
''Oi! Off!'' Lizzie commanded as she was losing the feeling in her right leg as both the boys weight seemed to be on it. James got off grinning from ear to ear as always. He pulled Sirius up who in turn helped Lizzie to her feet. Seeing as Remus had vacated the sofa when the tickling had started, the three friends collapsed on it feeling tired out. Sirius once more had his arm around Lizzie and she moved closer towards him, cuddling into him. James had started a game of Exploding Snap with Peter and Remus had disappeared off into one of his books. Really, Remus had been right. Relaxing a little made you feel a lot better. He's Remus dear; he always knows what's right.
Xoxox
As the week went on, the panic and stress in the school had reached an all time high. The exams weren't the only thing that had caused chaos. On Thursday morning the Daily Prophet had shown several cases of disappearances and strange deaths, something that had shocked the whole Wizarding community. Everyone had known about the constant rising of You-Know-Who but activity had been on a low for some time. It felt weird to have so much danger outside when there wasn't any sign of it within the walls of Hogwarts. The news had shocked the whole school and had sent a shaken feeling around as there had been a few students who the tragedies had hit. Lizzie had got a concerned letter from her parents which meant they were obviously worried about the events. It was the fear that was the worst really; you never knew when it was coming or how long it was going to stay.
With all the stress, Lizzie's temper had grown shorter especially and surprisingly with Lily. It had all started with 'The Incident' that they all liked to call it now. Lily hadn't been very pleased with her for having a go at Snape, something Lizzie thought was stupid. She had had every right to shout at the Slytherin for putting her brother in danger. Yes she knew it had been Sirius who had told him in the first place, but he didn't have to go and do as he had said. She had told Lily what could have happened to Remus if he had attacked someone but all she was willing to do was to blame Sirius. It seemed Lily was on a war-path with the Marauders for some reason, especially James and Sirius.
That was enough really to set Lizzie off and she had had a big argument with her best friend. They had sort of made up after but both were still a little rocky with each other. Lizzie had spent most of her time with the boys that weekend because she knew it was only best and would help her not shout at Lily anymore. She didn't want to be angry at her, it was just what she had said had infuriated her more than she had expected.
It was on Sunday that she really lost her temper. She and Lily had just come out of the library when they had bumped into the person she least wanted to see; Snape. It was hard to think that just eight months ago they had been best friends. Obviously it had just been one of those things that were never meant to be. He was talking quietly to some of his fellow Slytherins. Thankfully, Lizzie thought, Regulus wasn't with them. As they walked past she saw Snape turn to look at them, smiling at Lily but scowling at her. Lizzie scowled back at him, plus several of the others who had stopped in mid conversation when they had passed.
'' Probably thinking of how to torture muggles over the summer or something.'' Lizzie muttered under her breath so they couldn't hear her. There had also been rumours in the Daily prophet that Voldemort was recruiting followers as young as sixteen which meant, if it were true, students at Hogwarts who thought Voldemort's ways were right would become Death Eaters. Of course no one knew for sure but it was likely that was what was going to happen.
''Oh don't be ridiculous.'' Lily said making the idea sound absurd. Lizzie knew though that her thought would probably happen. She looked over at her best friend as they made their way back to the common room but Lily didn't turn to face her.
''I'm not Lily. We all know what's going to happen to most of them over the summer, everyone's expecting it.''
She saw Lily stop and she too came to a halt. Lizzie could see that her best friend was getting annoyed with her but for once she didn't care. Maybe she could get all of this out of her system and make her feel less stressed.
''The Daily Prophet is full of conspiracies. None of them are going to become Death Eaters. Just because the paper says Voldemort is recruiting younger people doesn't mean to say that it's true. '' Lizzie knew that neither of them were going to back down from this. It was an argument that had been ignored for far too long.
''Lily listen to me. That group of Slytherins back there are in huge favour of the Dark Arts. They'll probably carry it on after school but that's not it. Voldemort wants followers. They're probably going to jump at the chance to get some power or something. You can't always see the good in people Lily because sometimes, just sometimes, people have hardly any good in them at all.'' Lizzie kept her calm but she could feel the anger rising. If Lily wanted to be blind to what was going to happen, well she couldn't help that. But if she was going to simply refuse that none of them could become Death Eaters...well that was going a bit too far.
''Oh of course.'' Lily scoffed. ''And I bet you're putting Severus into that category.''
''Lily! He's interested in the Dark Arts, he always has been. He doesn't care that much about people, say apart from you and I'd bet he wouldn't care about killing a few people once he's older!'' The tension between the two girls was getting thicker and thicker by the second.
''You really are pathetic Lizzie. Just because he did some things wrong, just because he may have upset you a bit doesn't mean you can say that about him. He may be interested in the Dark Arts but he'd never hurt anyone-''
Lizzie cut across her quickly. ''HE NEARLY HURT REMUS, LILY. You have no idea what could have happened to him! He's not a bloody saint for Merlin's sake!'' She shouted not being able to keep her temper. She clenched her fists trying to calm herself down but it wasn't working. Why was Lily being so oblivious? Lizzie had told her time and time again over the past eight months that Snape was no good, that he had a more dangerous motive but she wouldn't listen to her and that really infuriated Lizzie.
''That wasn't his fault Lizzie! Sirius was the one who told him. You can't blame him for that! That was all your boyfriends doing.'' At this, Lizzie just glared at Lily, feeling a tiny hint of hurt come through the anger.
''What have you got against Sirius? You act as though you're fine with him when he's around but then after his backs turned you just mouth him off. James as well. Really Lily what the hell do you have against them?''She had wanted to ask that question for ages. It had never become clear to her why Lily hated the two boys so much.
''Because Lizzie, they are arrogant, big-headed bullies who think they're better than everyone else. They think they're so clever being able to pass exams without any studying and it's them who don't care about many people. They just strut around like they own the place and think they're so big because they can play a few measly jokes on people. James is just an arrogant toe-rag and Sirius just pretends to love people just to get them in bed with him!''
Lizzie just stared at her shocked. She had never expected her best friend to come out with that. She didn't know what the boys were really like. She had never gotten to know them properly. All Lily saw was the outside and not how they really were. Yes they both could be complete idiots sometimes but they were kind, loyal and cared about their friends so much. Lily was just looking at them from a glance and that annoyed Lizzie. She knew Lily wasn't one to judge people from when she first saw them so why was she doing it to the two boys? Lizzie could feel the anger at bursting point still but she kept it under control.
''The only reason you act the way you do towards James is because you're too scared to admit you like him.'' She was surprised with what she had just said but didn't show it. She saw Lily's eyes narrow like slits and knew she was about to get yelled at.
''Well you know what? Sirius doesn't love you; you're just too desperate for a boyfriend to realise!'' Lily said her voice raised.
There was silence before Lizzie walked off, not saying a word to her. She made her way back to the common room silently, her mind racing with what Lily had just said. She managed to climb through the portrait hole, walked across the common room to the stairs of the girls dormitories without stopping (even though she was sure she had heard her name being called), opened the door of the dorm, shut it and collapsed onto her bed before she broke down. It hurt that she had argued with Lily. It hurt that her best friend was angry at her but most of all it hurt because of what she had said. It made Lizzie think that maybe she was right about Sirius...maybe he was just using her. After all it had happened many times before to other girls. But what was he using her for? She didn't have anything she could give him. He was clever enough to not have to go to her for constant lesson help. He had plenty of friends and admirers so it wasn't like he needed any more attention. He could get any girl in the whole school so why did he want her?
Because he loves you to pieces and has been fighting to get you for nearly three years.
She knew she should listen to her conscience, after all it had been right every other time, but she just couldn't. Maybe this whole thing was as Lily had said. Maybe she was just too desperate to have someone to love her that she didn't see what the relationship between her and Sirius really was.
This made the tears that were falling down her cheeks fall even faster. She tried her hardest not to cry (she hated it when she did) but the tears and sobs just kept coming. She just wished Lily would see that she was right; Snape was going to become a future Death Eater and he couldn't be trusted. However she knew she was oblivious by the fact that she had Snape had been friends since before Hogwarts and so thought he was could do less harm then others thought.
One day she'll realise; she'll understand that you were trying to protect her.
''Why did she have to go and say that?'' She whispered to the empty room. Only silence answered her and she could feel more tears coming. Lizzie hated being alone, absolutely hated it and at the moment she felt more alone then she had done in a long time. This was the sort of feeling she got when she was younger and at home. Remus would be in the middle of a transformation and both her parents would be asleep or one asleep and one at work. She would sit on her bed and wait for the sun to rise again so she would have her brother back. No one else seemed to care if she was upset or scared (basically because she never told anyone because she thought they'd just think she was attention seeking) and she just wished that someone apart from Remus (who even now always knew when something was wrong with her) would realise that she too needed taking care of. It was always the full moons that were worse. Her brother had always been her best friend and not having him around was the most awful feeling in the world. Now she had friends it wasn't that bad but every once in a while she would wake up from a nightmare and wish she could go and tell Remus all about it. She was old enough not to need to go for help now though but sometimes...just sometimes she wished she could tell her brother everything that was going on in her mind.
A sudden knock at the door brought her back to her senses and she wiped the tears away with her sleeve even though to anyone who came in, it would be very obvious that she had been crying.
''Who is it?'' She asked quietly hoping it wasn't Lily. She didn't think she could face her right now.
''It's Beth, can I come in?'' She heard her friend ask on the other side of the door.
'Yeah.' Lizzie said, staying in her position on the bed, not feeling up to sitting up. She saw the door open and Beth come in, a concerned look on her face. She closed the door behind her and made her way over to where Lizzie was and sat on the edge of her bed.
''You okay Lizzie? You look like you've been crying.''
Lizzie sighed knowing there was no point in lying to her friend. ''Yeah...me and Lily had an argument...just some of the things she said upset me that's all.'' She didn't want to go into detail and she could tell that Beth knew that.
''Okay, well just remember I'm always here if you need to talk. Lily looked a bit upset about something too when she came into the common room. Rem told me to tell you that you can come and tell him anything. In fact he said he advices you too.'' She saw Beth smile and Lizzie couldn't help but smile too. She knew her brother would want to know what was wrong and this time Lizzie knew she couldn't keep anything else from him. It wasn't fair to him really and she knew how much her brother hated that she kept stuff from him.
''Do you want to come done?'' Beth asked.
Lizzie shook her head. No, she didn't want to go down there if Lily was down there. Not yet. ''No Bethy, I'll be fine. I'm just tired and stressed that's all.'' She gave her friend a reassuring smile that probably didn't convince her enough.
''Okay Lizzie. I'll leave you to have a rest. Come down later though yeah? The boys are going to put on a show to lighten everyone's spirits before tomorrow.'' Beth got up to go again and not before turning back to Lizzie. ''You two will be fine. It's just the exam stress that's getting to you both. I promise.'' And with that she was gone.
Lizzie thought for a while. Would she and Lily be okay again? She knew they probably would. They had had stupid fights before and had always made up. But there was a part of her that was worrying that she might have lost her best friend. It was a horrible feeling; one Lizzie wanted to disappear but didn't know how to get it away. As she continued to over think the situation with her and Lily as well with her and Sirius her mind seemed to shut down telling her she needed sleep. And so finally giving in, Lizzie feel asleep hoping that everything would be okay when she woke up.
Yay we had some of Lizzie's conscience. I love that thing xD I needed to do an argument because it leads up better to the next chapter :) xx