Dear Severus
Dumbledore has been sacked! I thought Dolores had been going after me, but she got him instead! Now she is headmistress, and the entire school is subjected to her tyranny and iron rule, devoid of any warmth or learning.
I do have to admit, Dumbledore raising an army of the students to dispose of her was brilliant, but very morally ambiguous.
But it has given me an idea.
The Inspection Club has recently been disbanded by Dolores. So we, as the mighty Phoenix does, will rise again in the midst of our ashes. The Inspection Squad has been formed! With a new creed! The Inspection Squad will never not! (Inspect Tyranny!)
The members thought that one up, I thought it was quite clever.
Anyway, I was just writing to inform you that you should probably avoid the 4th floor's second stair.
The Inspection Squad has teamed up with the Weasley twins (such nice boys, they remind me of their brother, Percy) and they will be causing a distraction so that the Squad can do some unhindered Inspecting.
Have a nice day,
Cygnus Stixrood, Chief Centennial Inspector, Department For Permits And Filing
P.S. Down with the Pink Toad!
P.P.S. We voted on the Inspection Squads new creed, and that came second place, and we liked it so much we decided to sign all our letters with it.
P.P.P.S. Would you happen to have any itching powder I could use? It is for Inspecting.