AN: Welcome back. Damn, I never realized how fun this writing stuff was until I tried it. I own nothing, though I do wish I had a pet hellhound.
Camp Life Chapter Three
Operation Enforcer/Enforcing Operations
The son of Aeolus slams the hellhound into the ground, then impales it with his enormous medieval European boar spear. Planting one foot on its head, he strikes a proud pose he likes to call The Conquistador.
Its dramatic effect is somewhat ruined when the monster dissolved and he stumbles.
The small group of campers accompanying him stare silently.
"Okay!" Steven says, regaining his balance. "And that, Ladies'n gentleman, is how you hunt hellhounds. Any questions?"
Jesse (short sword, curved blade of celestial bronze, approximately two feet long, weighing one-and-a-half pounds, non-magical) and Amanda (Louieville Slugger with celestial bronze nails embedded near apex of striking area, two-and-a-half pounds, non-magical) , standing in the front of the group, exchange glances.
"Um," Jesse begins hesitantly, "Do you really need that ball-and-chain thing? Or the big ninja stars? Or the gun?"
Steven swells up with righteous indignation. "Do I need the- now see here, young man! This is a morningstar, which I can use to destroy the skull of any monster with a single blow! It's indispensable! And this, which is a shuriken, I might add, has a range of over a hundred yards! I once cleaved a griffin in half with this beautiful instrument! And this gun- why, I never go anywhere without it, a Mossberg 590A sawed-off, loaded with M1030 Breaching Rounds- there isn't a door I can't open with this baby!"
His students just stare silently. Some look interested. Some look horrified. All look around for a door, where none are to be found, and breath easier.
"I have a question," snaps a haughty voice from the back of the group. "What the hell are we all doing out here?"
Steven sighs and rests his head in his hands. He doesn't get paid enough for this. He doesn't get paid at all for this.
"Drew," he says, as patiently as he can, "You are supposed to be helping me teach."
"Teach what? How to be a homicidal maniac? I think you've got that covered."
"We are supposed to be teaching the rookies here how to hunt monsters! Patrol! Enforce Camp Half-Blood's borders!"
Drew, daughter of Aphrodite, stands up from the log she has been sitting on, and stretches slowly, causing the eyes of every male (and some of the females) in the group to pop right out of their sockets.
"I think they've learned enough for today," she says, putting her hand on Jesse's shoulder and batting her eyelashes at the group, "don't you? Run along now, children!"
The kids glance at each other slowly and begin edging in the direction of camp, when Steven casually lays his hand on the hilt of the hand-and-a-half sword strapped to his side.
"Don't. Even. Move."
The class freezes.
"Now," Steven says, smiling dangerously, "All of you pair up. Head out into the woods and if you see a monster, engage it. The pair that brings me the most trophies wins a . . . special prize."
Jesse looks at Amanda questioningly, who rolls her eyes and slings an arm around his shoulders, leading him off into the treeline. The rest of the campers pair off and drift away, leaving a glaring son of the Wind King and a pouting daughter of the love goddess.
"Come on, Princess," Steven growls. "Lets make sure they don't get themselves killed on the first day."
Jesse and Amanda get about forty feet from the clearing when they hear the rustling.
The two share apprehensive looks before producing their weapons and standing back to back.
The rustling continues.
Jesse sees the bush to his left suddenly quiver, but before he can strike, the monster inside steps out smoothly and says, "Ah, just the Terrible Twosome we were looking for, eh, Travis?"
Katie Gardner pops another grape into her mouth and leans back into the sand, closing her eyes and enjoying the rare spot of relaxation in her busy schedule.
"You know," she says, "I gotta say, I'm a bit jealous of your name. It's so cool."
Rachel Elizabeth Dare gives her companion a strange look as she reaches for the grape bowl.
"How so?"
"Well, I mean, it just flows, doesn't it? And it sounds so, so classy, and sophisticated, and look at me, I'm Rachel Elizabeth Dare- My middle name is Mildred, and that doesn't work. At all. I mean, Katie Mildred Gardner? No way."
Rachel stares out at the waves for a moment, then says, "No, I suppose not . . ."
"See? I got righteous fucked in the naming department. My dad is awesome, and all, but he's a bit of a goof."
"You don't say."
"Yeah . . . Anyways. Did you hear that the Hephaestus Cabin lost that mechanical dragon of theirs again? I wish they would stop doing that. I mean, it's awesome to see it burning down houses and terrorizing the village people and all, but still-"
"I think I'm beginning to see why Travis likes you so much."
"I like her so much . . ." Travis finishes dreamily.
Jesse and Amanda exchange looks.
"Let me get this straight," Amanda begins slowly. "Ya'll want us to go find a bunch of Hecate campers, beat them up, steal back ya'll's money, which technically doesn't belong to ya'll anyways, and then return it to ya'll, whereupon-"
"Whereupon we will hunt you up some monsters, us being experienced, canny warriors-"
"Veterans of the Battle of New York -"
"Quite, dear brother, quite. And you will receive the special prize- which, believe you me, is very much worth fighting for."
Jesse sighs. "And then you go buy Katie something nice. Ok. We got it."
Travis beams. "Exactly! See! It's for a good cause!"
"Thanks, but no thanks." Amanda and Jesse answer in unison.
Travis and Connor glare at them. "This could get bad for you, New Kid," Travis says sternly. "We asked nicely, but we didn't have to-"
Amanda cracks her knuckles with a significant look on her face.
"Have either of you seen Nico Di Angelo this week?" she asks quietly.
Travis and Connor exchange looks.
"No?"
"Exactly."
The twins pale rapidly.
Steven slips through the trees silently, his many weapons making nary a jingle or rattle. Checking up on his charges, he notes that one group, a son of Ares and a particularly robust son of Aphrodite, have already put down a hellhound and two giant scorpions. And rapidly catching up are that son of Hermes, Jesse, and that delightfully violent daughter of Apollo, with a small Hydra and a giant scorpion in the bag.
He detours from his patrol pattern to assist a daughter of Dionysus and a son of Janus who have fallen afoul of a particularly large Stymphalian crow, then uses the winds to float to the top of Zeus's Fist to survey his domain. He can hear Drew swearing at him from the foot of the rock pile, but he just smiles to himself.
"There are too many damn trees 'round here," says Amanda, peering through the woods. "I can't see more monsters for us to kill."
Jesse examines the burlap sack in his hands, which contains the beak of a Stymphalian Death Bird, two giant scorpion pincers, several Hydra heads, the fangs of four different hellhounds, and a strand of purple-red hair from a weird lady with snakes for legs.
"I think we're doing pretty good," he ventures. "I mean, how many monsters can there be in this whole forest?"
Amanda snorts. "Yeah, pretty good. I want to win that prize. Your brothers may be idiots, but whatever that prize is, it made their eyes light up. We have to win."
"I suppose," Jesse agrees.
Amanda grins fiercely, then continues to examine the trees around them, muttering under her breath.
"There's a big fire burning but don't be alarmed, it's just country boys and girls gettin' down on the farm . . . Ah ha! I've got another one!"
Jesse rolls his eyes and follows her into the brush, grinning to himself.
"So. What's this fab prize you've got waiting for them?"
Steven throws an irritated glance over his shoulder.
"Why? So you can get your hands on it?"
Drew sniffs. "You know," she says coldly, "I may not enjoy your little nature hikes of death or looking after these snot-nosed brats, but I'm not a bitch."
"I didn't say that."
"You didn't have to."
Steven stops suddenly. "Look," he begins, "I-"
His eyes widen, then narrow. "What," he says, his voice laced with annoyance, "are they doing here?"
Travis and Conner are deposited roughly at the border of the forest and informed that if they return during the exercise, Steven will personally herd every monster he sees towards them, then demonstrate the effectiveness of the new flamethrower he got last week.
Then the menacing demigod and his glaring(ly hot) companion turn and slide gracefully into the trees and disappear.
The brothers sit in the sand for a moment.
"She didn't have to hit me so hard."
Travis sighs. "Maybe she likes you."
He contemplates their options for a moment, then speaks.
"So- Operation Enforcer is a bust."
"Unequivocally."
"Fuck."
"No, thank you."
"Shut up. We need a new plan."
Connor shrugs. "I've got nothing. I'm done for today."
Travis nods wearily, and they trudge along the beach for a few moments, until they spot the familiar flame-red hair in the distance.
Rachel skips up to them, smiling widely, which makes the brothers tense and check their backs, wondering where the ambush is coming from.
The Oracle tosses an arm around each Stoll and says, "Just the two men I was looking for! I think this has gone on long enough," she adds sternly.
The twins exchange looks of mutual panic. Had Rachel somehow discovered Operation Enforcer?
"Travis," she says, poking him in the stomach, "Katie is so bored she was talking about how awesome cabbages were a few minutes ago, and you two are probably concocting insane schemes to win her favor or whatever it is men do. It's enough. You two are talking. Tonight. And Travis, if you don't come to the pavilion for dinner holding her hand, so help me Zeus I will lock you in a closet with a Stymphalian Death Bird for a month."
Travis opens his mouth, then closes it and nods, looking nervous.
"Go on," says Rachel, "She's just over that dune. Go. And Connor, I know a nice girl from the Apollo Cabin who would love to hold hands with one of Percy Jackson's Forty at campfire tonight."
She swiftly kisses each brother on the cheek and dashes off towards Camp. They could swear she's cackling evilly under her breath.
The twins watch her go forlornly.
"Good luck, dude."
"Luck, brother."
The twins part ways.
Steven and Drew stand in front of the campfire that night, surveying the crowd- the collective mass of Camp Half-Blood- sitting before them.
"As many of you know," Steven began, his voice echoing imperiously throughout the stands, "Today the -"
"Mr. Rust," Chiron interrupts, looking annoyed, "I'm glad to see you are taking your post as Camp Armorer so seriously, but could you please stop bringing more than three weapons to basic camp functions? Those swords are one thing, but I'm sure that poleaxe and those Claymore mines are quite unnecessary."
Steven scowls but props the aforementioned weapons against the wall behind him.
"And the Uzi under your jacket too."
As the son of Aeolus disarms himself, Drew steps up, and produces from behind her back a large, round, and heavy looking package. Steven turns back towards the audience carrying an identical package.
"These," says the Asian demigoddess, her melodious voice soothing the ears of her listeners, "were promised to the heroes who brought back the most monster trophies."
The crowd tenses with anticipation, even those who weren't involved in the hunt. Jesse turns to Amanda, sitting next to him, biting her nails and glaring down at her teachers, and puts a hand on her knee. "We did good," he whispers. Amanda doesn't look at him but reaches over and grabs his hand and holds on. On the opposite side, her sister Kara smiles and grabs her other hand.
With a nod to each other, Steven and Drew strip the packaging from the objects, revealing a pair of polished bronze shields, each depicting a snarling wolfs' head.
"These lovely tools of death- and protection, I suppose," says Steven, " belong to Jesse Fairway and Amanda Brooks. Congratulations, you two. Eighteen trophies!" he adds to the cheering crowd, as an ecstatic Jesse and Amanda make their way down. "Including a Hydra!"
Drew kisses each of them on the cheek, smirking, and Steven explains their new shields features (this button makes it give an electric shock, see, for when you wanna bash someone with it, and this one here makes the surface reflective so you can send messages and blind enemies, and this here-), and after they all head for bed, the older kids clapping them on the back and congratulating them, the younger staring at them in awe, Jesse and Amanda walk back towards the cabins. On the way Jesse notes his half brother talking in the shadow of the Poseidon cabin with a figure who looks much to feminine to be Travis, and chuckles to himself. He wonders idly how he might get them back for earlier today, then decides as long as he has Amanda he probably won't ever need to.
So that's what you have to do to get respect 'round here," says Amanda, staring up at the stars. Jesse gives her a quizzical look.
"Kill a lot of things," she deadpans, and they both laugh.
AN: Ah, and another one bites the dust. The song Amanda sings halfway through is 'Down on the Farm' by Tim McGraw(Which I don't own). Reviews are always appreciated. :)