Authors note: possible dudes and chikas out there, seriously, comment. I know that it's shit, but you could at least tell me it's shit instead of leaving me to guess at your possible existence. Whatever. New chapter, enjoy or some shit.
Chapter Five: of unexpected visitors, sudden changes, and snakes.
Swords, check. Glasses, check. Ominous feeling that you're going to die being stronger than before, check. Good fuck you don't even know what the hell's going on anymore. Ever since last night you've been hiding for your life. Apparently, there's this huge network of both trolls and humans working together to make sure Her Condesce doesn't find out about the humans and kill them, or some stupid shit like that. Also, the Omegas are apparently the out-come of troll and human mating. Meaning that if Her Condesce took a good look at you she'd find out about the portal/door/piece of wall/whatever the fuck you wanna call it, meaning that all Omegas must be killed by members of said network. So now you're hiding from every-fucking-one in the gog damned forest and FUCK!
You honestly have no idea why Dirk told you all this after stopping you from entering their world. You also don't know why he didn't kill you if he knew you were endangering him just by being alive. You also don't know why you're fucking bothering with these useless ass-munching questions when you have more important things to be doing, like fucking surviving. Frankly, the only reason you bother with staying alive anymore is to piss off the ones that want you dead.
You growl at a near by rabbit that's about to expose your hiding place. Which is really just you lying underneath a large bush with some leaves an' shit around the edges. The rabbit runs off and your attention is brought back to your various minor wounds. Multiple bruises and a few cuts due to sharp branches and rocks an' shit. Almost every single one leaking your freaky black blood. Then there's the aching shoulder from your mini strife with Dirk, guy's strong as hell. Good FUCK you never thought you'd EVER have to do this shit again. But nooo, life just loooves to royally screw you over like the fucking nook it is.
Truthfully, your life has always been like this. But now you've got a group of trolls after you with a hell of a good reason to want you dead. You don't even know who they are or how many the group has. Before on the other hand, everyone wanted to kill you. But that was only subconsciously! So they only half-heartedly tried to krill you. Wait, gogfucking damn those stupid fish puns that Cats fucking addicted to!
You sigh and get over yourself because complaining like fucking Karkat isn't going to help the situation. You freeze when you hear someone coming close to your bush. Wow that sounded dirty. No, wait, there'll be time to be a pervert later. Your main concern is the person standing right in front of the bush. You feel the need to grab your swords, but any motion would give you away so you decide not to. In the end the person kicks the bush and you realize it's Dirk. In retrospect, freezing was kinda useless.
"You got a visitor." he says, short blunt and to the point.
You hesitate, but crawl out in an obviously awesome way in the end. You stand only to be tackled by someone, whom you quickly pin to the nearest tree. You're about to put your sword in their skull but the moron starts talking.
"Eee! Bethy it's me!" She says.
You actually look at your assailant and feel like a bitch. It's Cat. You almost killed Cat. Grub of a motherFUCKER!
"Cat. What the hell did you think were doing attacking me like that?" You say with an accompanying sigh and let go of her.
"I didn't attack you. I was trying to hug you!" she says and her habit of confusing you makes itself known once again.
"Its a sign of affection." Dirk says. He must have seen your confusion, even though you didn't show any. He's sharper than Cat, that's for sure.
"Oh." You say.
You would have continued, but then Cat starts fucking crying, squealing, and, er, hugging you. You panic a bit, because you have no idea how to deal with this emotional shit. You don't bother trying to hide it, it's all too unfamiliar to you.
"Cat? Uh... Why. Why exactly are you crying?" You ask and you're pretty sure Dirk is trying not to laugh at you.
"Oh Bethy I'm just so happy that we can finally touch each other!" She says, tears still running down her face and onto your sweatshirt. That sounded /so dirty/ but pervert time is later!
"Then why are you crying!" You say, confused yet again.
"Humans cry when they're happy as well as when they're sad." Dirk supplies.
"Humans are fucking weird." You say, prying her off you as she tries and fails to calm down. "Now onto the big question. Why the fuck are you here?"
"Bethy, you won't believe it, but in the forest in this weird little clearing-" She says
"There's a weird portal thingy that connects the worlds." You finish for her.
"Uh, yeah! But there's also a few trolls that want to kill you!" She says.
"Yeah, Dirk here already told me all that. Any idea who they are? For how forth-coming he's been, he's also been secretive as shit about some stuff." You say.
"Um, well I do know. But I don't think you'll like it." She says, pensively.
You raise one eyebrow. There are only three people that you know you can't confidently go up against. Sollux, Vriska, and Equius.
"It's um, Kanaya... and Gamzee." She says.
Okay. Fuck. That's a low blow to be sure. Of course, showing pain is bad because it's a sure-fire way to get yourself culled, so change the hurt on your face into anger. Hopefully before either of them notice it.
"Alright, so I just have to hide from them and everyone who they might question. So... I still need to avoid everyone. Whatever." You say.
"Sorry to interrupt this emotional reunion, but we actually have shit to do if you two want to stay alive." Dirk says.
"Yeah, for one Cat needs to go back to her world." You say, shaking off that emotional bullshit.
"But I just got here! There is no way that I'm leaving you alone here with so many people that want you dead!" She cries
"Oh yeah? What the hell are you gonna do when they come for me?" You ask rhetorically.
"Duh, I'll fight them!" She says.
"Exactly. You'll fight them, then you'll die fighting them." You say.
"I don't care! I'd rather die trying to protect you than watch from safety as you get your self killed!" She says.
Well that shut you up. She'd risk her life for yours. FUCKING EMOTIONAL BULLSHIT! You're pretty sure you're looking at her like she has two heads, which would actually be less shocking than this. And she probably has no idea the importance of what she just said. There is no way in /hell/ you're going to let this idiot die for you. You feel a hand cover your mouth as your about to say something and Cat shoots Dirk a nervous and scared look.
"Holy shit you two talk a lot. Now shut up and let me explain." Dirk says. "Bethany, you're right Cassidy is going back to our world. But you're coming too."
You try to deny. Say that you're perfectly capable of out-witting these wrigglers on your motherfucking own. But Dirk pushes the back of your head against his chest to reenforce his grip.
"Mhhn mphnnhn hmmnphhmnm!" is all that comes out when you try to speak.
Cat starts laughing. "Sorry, I didn't quite catch that. But one way or another, I'm getting you to my side of the rip!" She says.
She takes your hand and starts pulling. Dirk releases his hold on you then flashsteps away. You wonder what he's up to, as Cat pulls you along.
As you two travel, nothing much happens. Well other than you almost getting your ass handed to you by Aradia. If it wasn't for Cat sneaking behind her and knocking her out, that little skirmish would have ended badly. You don't know why you were holding back. But you think you'll stop questioning your motives for a while. Over thinking can be deadly. And is always stupid in retrospect.
Cat also airs some concerns she has about Dirk. You admit that you're curious as to his motives. The two of you agree to keep an eye on him. You ponder whether or not your possible flush-crush will cloud your judgement. You decide it won't.
Hours in the future, but not many, you arrive at the little thinning of trees and are about to cross over into a world almost opposite that of yours. Needless to say you never thought you'd be doing this. Let alone to save your life... er, to let you live longer. To let you live out of suspicion? Whatever. The point is: this is lower on your list of "Things that'll never happen" than Eridan cross-dressing and Kanaya supporting Eridan cross-dressing. Which you accidentally found out was a thing that happens annually about two weeks ago. So... you suppose this portal thing was bound to happen sooner or later.
A presence beside you snaps you out of your completely not off topic thoughts. You look over and see that Dirk came back. You would ask what he was doing, but something tells you he wouldn't answer you anyway. So you don't bother. You walk towards the opening, but predictably Dirk stops you.
"Oh yeah, there are some people on that side that want you dead too." He says.
You feel the urge to smack him. But your too tired of this fucking bullshit, or you're just too used to it. Anyway you don't smack him. You just go with it. Like you're actually as awesome as you pretend to be.
You nod and step through to the other side. Where you are almost immediately blinded by how bright that motherfucking sun is. You grumble and step off to the side so the other two can get through. How the fuck can these guys see when it's so fucking bright out?
You rub your eyes as they slowly, and somewhat painfully, adjust to the light of the humans realm/dimension/world/who gives a flying bat fuck about it anyway. You open your eyes and curse once again when your eyes start tearing up with clear fluid and you have to squint to actually see things.
"Surviving here should be easier than back there. All you have to do is stay in the forest and hide when some random idiot walks by." Dirk says.
You roll your eyes. "Yeah, 'cause I had to do so much more back there. But I see your point." You say.
"Yay! You're finally on my side of the rip thing-y! Oh, I can finally introduce you to my friends! But wait you need to stay hidden. So... who can I introduce you to that won't expose you?" Cat babbles.
"Hold up. Remember how I said there are people here that want her dead? You know about two seconds ago? I know it's a long time, but you can at least try to think back." Dirk says.
Cat playfully pushes Dirk and says "Well then who are we avoiding? You can't keep everything a secret you Strider-y... Strider."
"I would tell you, but you'd say I was lying about one of them. Maybe two." He says.
"Fine, I won't say you're lying if you tell me who they are!" She says.
"If you say so. The ones who want you dead are Roxy, John, and Bro." he says with a shrug.
Cat is silent for a second. Then you miss what says as she quietly freaks out. You miss it because you're trying to match names to faces in your head. John is... that nerdy one that is always pranking people, right? Roxy is the blond annoying one. That one you're sure of. You're guessing Bro is Dave because of how Cat explained their relationship.
Awhile later, after some really stupid and boring shit where Dirk explained exactly what this group or whatever does along with who's in it and why and their purpose and who their leader is and what would probably be pages of really important and revealing details about really important shit, they both leave you to your devices and you scope out new hiding places.
You find that, after wandering around for a few hours, most all of the trees an' shit are in the same place as back home. You're sure that there's a better word that sums up the majority of that sentence, but you can't think at the moment because of something else you've noticed over the course of the past few hours. Said something being: the longer you stay up, the harder it is to think. Well, less harder and more... exceedingly difficult to to stay on track and efficiently use rational thought. Or something. Of course, this dilemma has only made itself known these past few hours due to the lack of adrenaline. Because you could stay up for months and not have this problem, when there's the constant threat that you're going to die that is. Actually, you have been warned that you're going to die here too. You guess you're just subconsciously underestimating them or something. Humans are just so... squishy you guess. Like, their strong in the fact that they can recover from shit pretty damn quickly, whether it be physical or otherwise. But when it comes to their deadliness, their like freshly culled wrigglers! So, you can't really hurt them badly and they cant hurt you, like squishy things! Hear that? That's the sound of your rational thought packing up running away. Bye rational thoughts!
You come back to reality, but totally not because you obviously didn't just trip over a rock or root or something. Wait, no, it was because of that. Ow. Your face hurts now. You turn over on your back and look at the sky. It's nice. It's a nice sky. Sure it's bright, and your eyes hurt from looking at it, but it's pretty in a really weird way. You realize that the ground your laying on, which is covered in twigs and rocks and is slightly wet, is being way too comfy right now. Like it's trying to seduce you or something. Hehehe, seductive dirt.
You try to get up but some jokester decided to turn up the gravity just then. After a bit more struggling you give up and just lay there. You watch the birds flying around and make up long dramatic stories for the leaves. Until a snake comes up to you. It's slithers over you and decides you're warm enough to constitute sleeping on. Hehe, slithers is such a weird word. Slithers. Sssslllliiiithththththeeeeer rr
rrsssss. SssllliiiTHERSSS! Slithethers. Slithersslithersslithers! Therslis! Slislithertherthers. Heheheheheh! Words are weird.
You lay there with a dopey grin on your face as the snake claims his/her place kinda sprung about your torso. Wait no, not sprung. Some other word. What was is again? Your still thinking about the word when you fall asleep. Sprung. Sproing. Flailed. Thrown. Expanded. Retched. Uncoiled. Ummm. These aren't right. Well their kinda right in their own way. But not in the way that you intend for them to be right! Wait... so, they're right they're just not the right right. Language is confusing when you can't find the right right word to use.
Spread. That's the word you were looking for. Is one of the two things that you realize upon waking. The other is that this is not where you fell asleep. On a side note, the snake is still with you. You're mildly confused and disturbed that you were captured and kept alive. In relative luxury to boot. You look around and notice the painfully blatant dark purple, black, and pink color scheme. You have a brief flashback to when you were with Eridan, those were dark times.
You get up and shamelessly snoop through the interior, during which the snake somehow ends up twined about your arms and shoulders. It seems to like you. You think you'll call it Fredrick. Fredrick Barneby Worchermister. Anywho, during said snoop you found some needle-wand things, a white sphere, a self written book about wizards, and a thick black tome about monsters or something.
You're tempted to go back to sleep and possibly recall some of your dream, which was undoubtedly random as fuck even though you cant remember jack-shit about it. But you put everything back instead. No use having this girl know you were snooping. Frankly, it's either a girl or a cross-dresser... you give a small shudder at the horrible memories that spring up at the thought. Cross-dressing is fine, in your opinion. When they do it well that is.
You force yourself to stop dwelling on these thoughts and sit on the bed. You're not going to lay down, because now Fredrick is coiled around your stomach. You probably look as if you're waiting for her when the girl opens the door to the room. You probably look like you're pissed and deadly. You also probably look like you just don't give a shit. Whatever you actually look like, it doesn't seem to faze her when she does enter. She gives you a slight nod and sits down in a chair you obviously didn't overlook during your snooping.
"It's a pleasure to meet you Miss. My name is Rose Lalonde. I'm going to ask you some questions. Would you be so kind as to answer the truthfully?" She says.
"Kind? No. Curious? Exceedingly. I propose that we use a sort of trading policy. For every question you ask me, the next question shall be one I ask you. Objections?" You say. For some reason talking with her makes you want to talk all fancy-like and use big-ish words.
"I suppose I won't be getting any worthwhile information out of you if I deny your request. Although, I am interested as to what you'd be curious about. I have no objections on the matter, and I am assuming I'll be going first. So: are you planning on harming any of those residing within the confines of my village?" she asks.
"I can't say I was planning on it. Buy of course that isn't to say that any encounters that I may or may not have with them in the near or far future will be quite as civil as this one. At a certain individuals request I shall try to refrain from seriously injuring any of them if I can." You say.
"Yes, I can see why one such as yourself might find the need to harm others in certain situations. I believe it's your question now." She says.
"Yes, now, are you planning on killing me or informing others that might want to kill me that you have me in custody?" You ask.
"Yes actually. I was planning on leaving you here alone, in this neigh inescapable room, to go inform my extremely deadly cohort who knows of your presence that I found you passed out on the forest floor." she says with the barest hint of a smirk hidden in her sardonic smile.
"I'll take that as a no. Also as an insult. if I'm right, well played. If I'm wrong, well played." You say. Mind games are so your forte it's not even funny.
Time passed, more questions were exchanged, along with snarks buried within snarks buried within tests covered with blatant lies and sprinkled in the occasional truth. It was settled that you would spend the duration of your stay in the village, in a guest cabin of course. It seems that there was an abandoned one that people seem to think is haunted. You've dealt with noisy ghosts before, so it's cool. You've found a safe house through Rose, also an informant, along with a mental sparring partner, and possibly formed a tentative friendship. And then there's Fredrick. Fredrick's awesome.
The thought you seem to have been thinking since your birth has been so overused lately that you must use it again: Humans are fucking weird.