Chapter Nine: of meddlings, enemies, and secrets.
It's all Nepeta's fault. If it wasn't for her being concerned about a meaningless break-up and trying to set you up with someone new, this never would have happened. You wouldn't have seen her, you wouldn't have fallen head-over-heels for her, she wouldn't have tried to follow you, you wouldn't have tried to save her, this downward spiral you're caught in would have never begun. You wouldn't be hiding idiots from your teammates, you wouldn't have dragged Bro into this, you wouldn't have risked your job your loved ones or your life to keep them safe. No, not /them/. You don't give a shit about /them/. It's to keep her safe. The only reason the others are here is because her stupid moirail wanted them safe. It all boils down to Beth, and if it wasn't for Nepeta you'd have never met her.
Your name is Dirk Strider. You are hiding fugitives from your teammates right under their noses, while pretending to not be actively betraying them all, and protecting two beings you're supposed to kill on sight, dragging down your brother, possibly dooming your entire race, for a girl. It's unanimous: you're a moron. Your name is Dirk Strider, and you're positive that you just screwed yourself over.
But that's not important right now. What's important right now is making sure that those two idiots won't let any other idiots see them. Oh yeah, and making sure no one else finds out. You're guessing that Bro already knows some of it and will try to get the rest outta you later, so you'll subtly avoid him without making it seem like you're avoiding him. It wouldn't help if you went around looking suspicious. Then there's the problem of Roxy. You two have been partners ever since you joined the Foreign Affairs Response Agency, yes stupid name but it was designed stupid, and how well she can read you tends to creep you out. You're not sure how long you can keep it from her. John, now he's an idiot. Almost as much of an idiot as Jake. Which is about half as moronic as you are. But the fact that the trolls are here and you're a traitor probably wouldn't occur to either of them unless it raped him. The only other one you have to worry about is Rose. She has a way of finding things out and you're not completely sure that her weird magic shit isn't involved somehow. Jade is sharp, but her finding out wouldn't directly cause a problem. Jane is practically a subdued female John, so you're safe on that front.
Your mildly wandering attention is brought back to the task at hand when the blacksmith that you've been apprenticing under as cover says that you can take the rest of the day off. You set down the coal you brought on top of the rest and go to clean off. You don't prefer to be covered head to foot in various kind of dust. Your hands are almost as dark as your shades. Almost.
Once your skin is skin colored again you decide that you should confront Rose. She wouldn't really use any information against you, she just likes to tease. Hopefully. You find her seemingly wandering around not too far off, but then she always gives the impression that she has a plan.
"Hey Rose. I need to talk to you about something." You say in your usual monotone.
"And what might that be? What your employer is thinking, giving you the day off? Your plain-as-day infatuation? Or might it be the fact that there are non-human sentient creatures roaming our little home?" She says with the grin she uses when she knows she's got you trapped.
Fuck. She knows. Fuck! Okay, calm down. She's not going to expose you to Fedora and get you killed. Shit.
"That last one. About the creatures. What all do you know about them?" You say still in monotone.
"Quite a lot I'd like to say. Although I don't know what you're comparing my amount of knowledge to, so I can't accurately say. What exactly were you hoping to find out about them?" She says. God, you can almost feel her condescending tone.
"In that case, what kinds are there and what do they look like?" You say. You don't bother coming up with an excuse. Both of you know it'd be complete bullshit anyway.
"There are three types that I've seen. One is almost human like. Although with light grey skin, sharper teeth and nails. Another is much if the same, except for yellow claws and yellow-orange-and-red horns, also much sharper teeth if I'm not mistaken. Although I can't say I had a very good look at them from such a distance. The last was very much like the second, with the exception of different horns and what seemed to be fins on it's head. The first is the only I've had any extended contact with, so I can't give you much information on the other two. Those are the only ones that I know of." She says and begins walking.
Deciding to follow her you go over what she said. Shit. So she knows about all but one of them. Then again, you didn't know that last one for a while there. You doubt that she knows the truth herself. Rose said she's had extended contact with Beth though. That might turn into a problem.
"What all do you know about the first one?" You say.
"She's quite the talker once you get her going. Also, although she may seem rigid and unapproachable at first, once you get to know her she's rather nice. She has a soft spot for animals, especially snakes. She's told me she loves to swim. She's also mentioned that she never knew whether she would live to see the next day, so she stopped caring if she lived or not. I asked what she was doing here once, she casually replied "The fuck if I know." and that was the last we've spoken of it. She seems trust worthy to me, if not an odd target for your affections." She says, bringing that grin back.
Goddamn it! You try to resist the urge to hit something. Her, yourself, either would work right about now. Fuck, you don't even like Bro knowing your emotions and unlike Rose he wont do something with it. Fuck, fuck!
"You're delusional. But you also seem to be pretty friendly with her. So why haven you killed her yet?" You say, outwardly calm.
"She hasn't tried to hurt me yet, or manipulate me at all. I don't see the point in killing her. It'd be a useless death." She says
Well now you know she won't do anything stupid out of fear.
"Know anything about the others?" You ask.
"Only that their eyes are very sensitive to the light, and the third one seems to be living with Cassidy." She says.
"Hm, I'll have to look into them." You say and begin walking away from her.
"Don't worry Dirk, I'll keep an eye on them for you." She calls after you.
Fuck. At least she doesn't know much about the trolls.
A snake comes up and stops right in front of you. Oh yeah. It's that trained snake they gave you for some reason. Sometimes, it seems like it's sentient. Who was it that trained this one? Tavros? He's one of the better trainers, so this snake shouldn't do anything too stupid. After it ran off not too long ago you were considering telling Tavy-boy that it was dead. But it's back. You wonder where it went. You start walking again and it follows you. Then it starts off in a different direction and looks back like it expects you to follow. You follow it.
It heads to Fedora's cabin. Does he want you? Fuck, has he found out already? It goes around the side and to the back of the house. Then it stops and looks at you again. You guess you're supposed to stay here. Creepy sentient animals. You stay at the back corner of the building while it slithers forward. You sneak a look around the corner and see Jane. It took you to Jane. Why? Is there something about her you're missing? She's just sitting there with that headband of hers on. It's pretty ugly, you wonder why she wears it. She's sitting there staring into space like it's the most important thing she can do. The snake comes up behind her and it gestures to the headband. As well as a snake can gesture. Then it tries to take it off her. Once it touches the headband Jane spins around and grabs the snake tight.
"Oh. It's just a mindless snake." She says sounding surprisingly like an angry Vriska. You've... never heard her sound like that. She squeezes it like she's strangling it then throws it into the grass, where it comes back to you. If snakes could limp, you're sure this one would be.
Okay. You're keeping an eye on her. You walk out right out of there, and let the snake ride on you out of pity for the thing. You aimlessly walk while digesting this new information.
So the Jane you've known since you've met her is kind to almost every living thing and rarely acts anything like that even when she's pissed. But now she's acting like she hates everything and wants as much death as possible. Is the kindness just a cover? If so, then who's she working for? Not FARA that's for sure. Not for Queen Bitch... probably. Should you tell the others about this? A better question would be "Would they believe the proof?", proof being: the snake lead me to it. Not likely. But you'd better ask Roxy about her in any case.
Speak of the she-devil. Your mind surfaces from your thoughts to find the elder Lalonde in sight, and beckoning you. You walk over, seemingly without changing direction, and can't help but be reminded of exactly what you're hiding from her. When you get within arms reach she drunkenly reaches out and pulls you down by your collar. Even though you know for a fact that she's completely sober.
"So. I hear that a certain someboy found some rebound ass." She says with her lilting voice.
"Mm. Then it took longer for him than I thought it would." You say.
"Who are you talking 'bout? I mean you. That you found some ass." She says accusingly.
"I was thinking Jake. But in that case, it's a bold faced lie." You say.
"Oh really?" She says, drawing out the word. Yeah, she doesn't believe you.
"Yes. Really. Now I need you to keep an eye on Jane." You say.
"Janey? Is something wrong with her?! Is it some incurable disease? Is Janey gonna die?!" She says, pulling you closer.
"No." You say prying her off. "In fact it's roughly the opposite of that. She's been acting pretty sketchy and I want you to keep an eye out for any abnormal behavior from her. Any at all."
"I don' know Dirky, Jane doesn't seem like she'd hurt a fly. But I trust you. So I'll keep an eye out just in case. Now, about the rumored ass." She says.
"Just a rumor. Most likely spread by someone who desperate for me to discourage others from trying. Now that I'm single again." You say.
"It started with Rosey." She says, challenging you.
"Well in that case she's just aching for some Strider. I've seen her eyeing Bro too. But it wouldn't work out. It'd be creepy to date her. And she's your sister too." You say.
"Dirk!" She huffs, drawing out your name. "Stop playing games and just tell me who it is already! I know you have someone, I can see it on your face! Come on, I won't judge. Please? Please please please please please tell me?" She says ending up hugging your knees and shaking you slightly.
"Roxy, there isn't any ass and no matter how much you beg that's not going to change. Now let go, your about to make me fall over." You say
Really, it isn't just ass. It's all of her. But there's no way in hell you're going to tell anyone that. Let alone Roxy. Or Nepeta. Fuck no, you're never telling Nepeta anything about this. At all. Ever.
Roxy groans but let's you go and stumbles off in search of "Someone who'll tell me the truth!" and you're left standing there. She's really good at acting drunk.
You decide to check up on the idiots, see if they're all dead yet. It would make things a lot easier for you if they were. Maybe you should indirectly kill them. No, it'd just use up even more time and energy. Oh yeah, and they're innocent or whatever it was Cassidy said. Unfortunately where they've decided to settle takes some time to get to. Time that can be used on brooding, or planning, or getting random visitors for no fucking reason at all. You don't want that last one to happen. You really don't want the random visitor to be English. You just want to walk in silence. But because it's noon-ish and those two are always frolicking somewhere in the woods at this time, you're bound to meet up with either him or Harley.
You see something white with blood red spots through the trees in the distance. Bec must've caught himself something. Creepy sentient animals.
"Dirk!" You hear to your left.
Only your years of surprise strifing with Bro kept you from getting knocked on your ass by the inevitable tackle that could only barely be called a hug. Well at least your standing and it's Jade. And Bec... without blood on him anywhere... creepy.
"Hey. 'Sup?" You say.
She let's go of you and looks like she'd start bouncing any second if she wasn't glaring at you. "I rarely get to see you and when we actually get together that's all you can say? Come on Dirk, it's been forever! What got you so tied up that you can't even spare some time for your friends?" She says to your back before catching up. Did you mention you started walking away? Well you did, and are.
"Important things. Things that'll save your ass in the long run. Also things that have to be done. Since when is six weeks "forever"?" You ask.
"Since we haven't seen each other in that long! And what important things?" She asks dropping her glare, but you can tell she's still upset.
"Things." You say.
"Are they secret things? Come on, you can tell me! I'll never tell anyone if you do." She says.
"Okay, here's a secret: Roxy has no idea what I'm doing." You say.
"You're not going to tell me what you're doing are you." She says. You shake your head. "Fine, I'll let you get away with this on two conditions: go talk to Jake, and tell somebody what you're up to that's such a big secret!" After that she just walked off. Guess that means you don't have a choice in the matter. Hmm.
You resume what you were doing before you were interrupted, which was walking. You try to clear your mind, but for you that's a near impossible task. Why did she want you to talk to Jake? Is something wrong with him? Is he jealous because of the rumors-that-aren't-quite-lies that are floating around? No. That's so unlikely it's bordering on impossible. Why the hell would he be jealous? He was the one that was avoiding you until you confronted him about it. No, it has to be something else. So, what? ... What would he think of Beth? Fuck, why are you even thinking that! You don't care what he thinks about anything. Besides, you have a completely valid reason for not seeing him since you broke up. You've been busy with important things... Okay, maybe you're not as over him as you thought. Maybe you still regret braking up with him like you did. Maybe part of you feels like an ass for falling for Beth. Maybe she is just a rebound and you're just being delusional again. Maybe you're risking every thing for someone you only think you like. Maybe this train of thought needs to stop where it is. You always end up over complicating simple things for no damned reason.
Doesn't matter any more. You're in the clearing now. Why are you here again? Right, the idiots. Why Feferi told Karkat about this place is beyond you. Right up there with sentient animals and the fact that there are both recouprecoons and beds in all the houses. You walk into the one you saw movement in.
"Anyone home, or am I just talking to an empty house?" You call into the vacant livingroom.
"Oh, we're in the bedroom! But, don't come in yet!" Cassidy calls back.
You walk over to the door you heard her in and stand by it. "Any particular reason why I can't come in?" You say.
"Well. Bethy's in here, and remember all her wounds? Well, there were more, and these are worse, and she kinda passed out, and now I'm kinda stitching her up." She says.
"Exactly how bad is it?" You ask, hoping your voice is steady.
"Well... she won't be getting up for a while. When she wakes up that is." She says.
That's... Shit. You stay outside the room, even though you know you could probably patch her up better. You just don't think you could handle seeing her like you think she is. Even imagining it hurts. You mentally shake yourself and try to push those images out of your head.
"Is Feferi in there?" You ask. Don't think about the burns.
"Oh, yeah, do you need her?" Cassidy says.
"Yeah. Both her and Karkat. Think you can spare her?" You say. Don't think about the blood.
"I'll be out in a bit. Just let me clean up first." Feferi says.
"I'll be here." You say. Don't think about the wounds. Or her body ripped open on a dissection table. Don't think about her burns. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't puke. Don't freak out. Stay calm. Don't imagine it.
You hear the door open beside you and open your eyes as Feferi comes out. You nod to her and start walking. Once you trust your voice again you ask
"So, you know where Karkat is?"
"Yup! His hive is over here." She says.
All the "hives" are arranged in a circle for some reason, and apparently Karkat took the one Directly across from Cassidy and Feferi's. When you walk in he's sitting there brooding on the couch. Or sleeping. Truthfully, for him, any action could be replaced with brooding. You sit on one side of him and Feferi sits on the other.
"Just here to make sure you havent been found and killed yet." You say in response to his glare and opening mouth.
You sit there and half tune out his yelling. Once he stops you try to converse again, and actually get somewhere with them before he starts yelling again. This process repeats until late into the night/early into the morning. The shit you put up with. Why do you put up with it? Same reason why your stomach is in knots because of an image you can't seem to forget. Same reason you're putting up with any of this bullshit. Same reason you've gotten barely any sleep this past week. You're the biggest fucking moron in existence, and she most likely doesn't care about you in the least. God how you wish you could just act without analyzing everything you do. Sometimes you really just hate how stupid you are.
Whatever, life goes on.