It was not, in fact, Peter who found Remus. Remus sat in the library trying his hardest to focus on his studies but the words kept burring making it difficult read. He hated this. He hated being angry, he hated being ashamed, he hated feeling bitter, and he hated that he was crying. Reaching up, he brushed the tears off his face and tried to distract himself but it still wasn't working. Goddamnit.

"I thought I might find you here."

Remus didn't need to look up to know who was talking to him. He stared down, pretending to read but not really seeing the words. "Hi, Lily, I'm trying to study."

He heard the chair across from him being pulled out as Lily took a seat in front of him. The last thing Remus wanted was to be seen in this state. He was a mess. Just an absolute wreck and he didn't want anyone to know that.

"I'm trying to read, Lily," he muttered.

"I can see that…why are you crying, Remus?"

While Lily could get annoyed with James and Sirius, she and Remus had always gotten on fairly well. Still, they weren't extremely close. They had occasionally studied together in the library or traded books and talked about classes and how annoying people could be. They had shared a few laughs and talked about meaningless things. Remus supposed he could call Lily a friend. Of course, he was afraid of getting too close to her. James would either kill him or somehow use that to attempt to make Lily go out with him. Maybe in another life they could have actually been friends. As it stood every conversation with him she had to worry about something she said getting back to James Potter and resulting in some insane scheme.

"I'm not crying," Remus told her.

Lily raised an eyebrow and looked over at him. "Then are you leaking? People don't leak, Remus." She sighed and gently pulled the book away from him. "James and Sirius were fighting in the Great Hall."

Remus stared down at the table where his book had been. Great, now he had nothing to pretend to focus on. He pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth, a trick he had read about that stopped people from crying. "James and Sirius argue all the time. It's probably over something stupid."

"So you're something stupid then?"

Remus looked up, his eyes wide. He should've known that James would go and tell Sirius that he was acting oddly and that the two of them had fought. Still, he hadn't expected them to fight about it. He thought that Sirius would just pass it off as being stupid and silly. "I wouldn't give James my homework, we fought, he got mad, I came here," Remus explained. It wasn't exactly a lie, but it was far from the truth.

Lily looked him over. Remus was a poor liar. He was better at avoiding the truth than he was trying to lie about it. "I don't think that James would be that angry over homework, nor would Sirius. Frustrated and annoyed, yes, but I don't think that James would…what were the words he used? 'Kick you and Sirius out of the Marauders' over homework."

Great, now he had gotten Sirius in trouble with James. What else could he do wrong? "So? Sirius is a jerk. Maybe everyone has just finally gotten to a point where they realize that."

For a moment, Lily was silent, trying to find the perfect words to say. There were none. "So, Sirius did something?"

"I didn't say that."

"Yes you did," Lily answered instantly. "You just didn't say it bluntly. You realized that Sirius is a jerk. A person doesn't do that after five years of being best friends with someone." He voice was soft, at least she wasn't getting angry with him. She was calming and slightly comforting.

Remus shook his head. When James had told him that it had come off as more of an accusation. Lily actually seemed genuinely concerned. Remus hated that. "Sirius doesn't see people as being people, there's the problem," he finally admitted. "He sees them as things. Things that he can use and then throw away. Things that don't feel hurt by something. Haven't you noticed it with all the girls he 'dates'? He treats them like they're something that he needs to conquer in order to…I don't even know."

"Yes, but you're his friend. You have been for a while. He cares about you Remus."

He let out a dry laugh. "Of course he does. That's why I do all his homework, that's why I do his potions, that's why I clean up after him, and that's why I fix all his mistakes. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being used and then just hurt in return. He's horrible. Good God, the other night he was making a list of the girls he'd slept with and girls he had kissed." Remus shook his head and took a deep breath. Why hadn't he seen that stupid list as a sign? Obviously, Sirius had run out of girls and had moved onto something else to hurt.

Again, Lily paused to think. "But you're not one of those girls, Remus. You're his friend and, as much as it pains me to say it, the two of you need each other. Look, you're a good guy, and it would be nice if you hadn't fallen in with them. But, you have and that's…that's how it is. They're not them without you and you're not you without them…does that make sense?"

"No."

Lily sighed. "Well, they're all in our year and you have to share a bedroom with them until you're seventeen. This is going to be three awkward years if you don't at least make-up a little."

That was true, they did have to live together. ."...I don't really think they want me back at this point. I yelled at James. You don't yell at James." That was a moment he would really like to forget about.

"Remus, I have yelled at James on at least a monthly basis since I was eleven. He won't even leave me alone. I would give anything if shouting at him was unforgivable." Lily laughed and shook her head.

It wasn't the same. It really wasn't. James would continue to stalk Lily until she finally either killed him or he managed to get his hands on a love potion. "It is when you never yell...I did a bad thing. Yelling is bad." Remus wasn't the most emotionally mature person in the world. He would be calm and subservient. But, when it came to actually dealing with difficult things that had to do with him and someone his own age was yelling at him, well, his only reaction was to fly off the handle.

"Please, Remus. Not to be rude or anything but James probably doesn't even care. How many people has he sworn blood vengeance against since first year? He doesn't remember any of it. He's, well, it's not that he's an idiot, he is but he's not given to feeling things any longer than necessary. He seriously has the attention span of an ant."

Remus took a deep breath. "But, he yelled at Sirius. So, now I've gotten Sirius in trouble and now James is mad at Sirius and Sirius is mad at me and James is mad at me, and Peter is going to be mad at both of us because James is," he rambled. He was quite good at rambling sometimes.

Lily laughed. "Sirius is always in trouble and Peter only ever thinks about his stomach. Besides, how many times has Sirius gotten you in trouble? Or James? Or even Peter. You get a free chance to ruin their lives because they do it to you constantly! Besides, they need you. They'd be hopeless without you. Um, well, more hopeless than usual."

Remus paused and thought about this for a moment. "They do need me," he said, more to himself than to Lily. "That's a fair point. Maybe James won't be mad...maybe I should just say that I'm sorry and that'll make him forget about everything that happened...and, maybe I can just ignore Sirius until he comes around?" That sounded like a decent plan.

"I promise that by the time you get back they'll be expecting you to help with their homework, even Sirius, and if they aren't then you can do my homework instead."

Finally, Remus smiled. "You would kill me if I ever even offered to do your homework."

"That's why I told you that. If they all turned you away as a leper then you can do my homework."

At least Lily had faith in him. Remus took this as a good sign. She had raised some good points. The Marauders weren't the type of people who would just turn someone away over one stupid fight. "I guess I just overreacted. I incredibly overreacted." One little fight wasn't going to destroy five years of friendship.

Lily just rolled her eyes. "Remus, seriously, you're not forty. You're fifteen and you're allowed to blow your top every now and then, especially if you have to put up with Potter and Black every day."

"I'm the mature one. I keep it together when they're stupid. Sirius is the stupid one who goes off over nothing." And the one who ran away when something didn't go according to plan or he realized that someone had feelings.

"And so are you, sometimes. We're not defined by who our friends expect us to be. It'd be easer mostly but, really Remus, you're so much more than Sirius Black's smarter cuter friend."

Remus shook his head and smiled slightly. "I'm not cuter than Sirius."

"I'm a girl, I know these things."

"I own a mirror, I know these things." Remus knew what he looked like. He was a short and scrawny boy with a few scars on his face, neck, arms, and, well, most of his body. Cute wasn't a good word for him. Not at all.

Getting out of her chair, Lily walked over and ruffled Remus's hair before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "You're cuter, trust me. You're not in love with your reflection yet."

Instantly, Remus's face turned bright red. Oh, a girl had just called him cute and kissed him. Oh, James was going to kill him. "Oh…I, um…I…oh…um, erm, um…"

Lily laughed again. "Go back to your stupid friends and be stupid with them. You are a much better person that you realize. If you were a muggle they'd at least have therapy for you. This world is such a shame sometimes."

Remus cleared his throat. "Yes, my friends." He stood up and took a deep breath. "Thanks, Lily. And, for the record, I live in the Muggle world."

"And your mother doesn't have you in therapy yet? Well, if there are anymore problems then find me and I'll be your therapist. Now, off with you!"

Remus grinned and grabbed his bag off the floor. Lily had made him feel a world better about everything. James couldn't stay mad at him and Peter would go along with anything James said. The only problem was Sirius. Remus had no clue what to do about that, but, maybe things would fall into place later.

This was going to be difficult to do. Remus wasn't sure what James was going to say. Walking into the dormitory, he knocked against James's bedpost. "Hey."

James looked up from the magazine he was reading and stared at Remus, attempting to be completely void of emotion. He seemed incredibly distracted. "What?"

Remus looked down at the ground and took a deep breath. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry…for what happened earlier. I shouldn't have said that I didn't want to be around you guys. I just…I was just upset."

"Moony—"

"I just…" Remus interrupted him and continued to ramble. "I realized I was wrong and now I feel bad and I just…you guys are my best friends and I shouldn't have snapped like that. I don't know if you want me to come back but-"

"Moony—"

"I don't want to lose the only friends that I have because of some stupid little fight. Even if that fight did turn into a big fight with me yelling at you and you yelling at Sirius and Peter getting wrapped up in all of this. Wait, is Peter wrapped up in this?"

"Moony—"

"Oh, I hope that Peter isn't all confused by this. I know how Peter can be and I don't want to make him pick sides. I don't even want for there to be sides. I just want for everything to be normal again. And, maybe we should talk about the reasons for us arguing."

"Moony—!"

"No, the reasoning doesn't matter. What matters is that—"

"Moony! Shut up!" James laughed. "Don't be dumb, Moony. I knew you'd come back. You always come back. We're bigger than our stupid fights. We're Marauders, mate! You'll always come back, in the end, and we'll always have you. Besides, we have a potions essay tomorrow and I seriously have no clue what it's even supposed to be about."

Remus smiled and relaxed. "I'll get on it tonight. And, for the record, it's about Calming Droughts."

"We might need some of those. You should know that Peter is hiding because he's afraid that you're going to eat him."

"I know, I just…wait, what? He thinks I'm going to eat him?"

James smiled. "Yeah, I told him that. It was hilarious. I've ever seen him run so fast."

"James, don't tell our friends that I'm going to eat them!" Remus shook his head. James was still James and there was nothing he could do about that. "How's Sirius?"

James shrugged and rolled his eyes. "He's Sirius. As soon as he realizes that you're back to normal then he'll be fine. Neither of you were ever really out of the Marauders. I just said that to scare you guys."

For the most part, things were back to normal. Remus felt better now that he had his friends back on his side.

"Glad you're back, now, go to your books! I'm reading comics."

Oh yes, things were normal between him and James. Remus sighed as though he was annoyed, but he was quite happy now. James didn't hate him. Actually, Remus was kind of glad that he was doing James's potions essay. He felt like he owed James something since he had blown up. He had yelled and now he was doing James's homework again. For some reason, he found this to be a good thing.

He knew what he would do about Sirius. All he had to do was pretend like the kiss had never happened. It wasn't like he could stop being in love with Sirius, but he could try not to let Sirius know about it. He could just be friends with Sirius, do his homework as always, and keep him out of trouble. It wasn't perfect and it hurt him to think about it too much. Sirius was someone that he could never have and he needed to accept that. He could be his friend, but nothing more. There would never be anything more between them. Maybe that was for the best.