Authors note: These notes are getting pretty regular. In any case. I apparently have seven followers. To you seven people: Review. Answer the poll, tell me I'm amazing, give me ideas, correct my grammar/spelling, point out mistakes or words that don't seem like they should be there, or just straight up rant! I don't give a shit what it is, just do it! Do you know how horrible it is to write to an unresponsive audience?! I have fucking seventeen chapters and seven followers! I should have more than just three fucking reviews! And two of them are by the same person! If you don't like the way it's going, tell me! If you want spoilers, tell me! I'll probably give you infuriatingly obtuse hints, but still! Even if you like fucking chocolate covered oranges, tell me that! It has nothing to do with the story. But at least I know you didn't follow this then fucking forget about it! That's all. Fuckers.
Chapter seventeen: of mysteries, purplebloods, and legends.
Good Goddess you're tired. Why are you tired? Excess stress makes you tired. Why are you stressed? Because fuck you, that's why! You're tired and pissed and stressed and you don't want to do jack-shit tonight but that's not going to happen because that's how life fucking is. Eris help the dumbass that decides to piss you off tonight. You grumble and growl as you get out of your bed. You stumble around half awake for the short amount of time it takes for you to get ready. Once you don't look like you fell out of a bush you grab your swords and head out into the world.
The mysterious girl that's going to die, the difference between pity and love, all the adult trolls running around, why the fuck Vriska's here, and trying to stay alive. Goddess why do these thing have to tax you do much? You see a bit of purple flit through the forest. Maybe Gamzee can help you with this. For all his nonsense he's scarily determined and intelligent when he wants to be. You walk over to where you saw the color. He moves away. What, are you gonna have to chase him down? He takes off into the forest. Apparently so. Fuck.
You run into the forest after him. Maybe a little exercise will help your mood. Probably won't, but whatever. A few minutes into the chase he stops trying to not leave a trail and gains speed. You aren't all that fast, but thanks to his little sacrifice you now know where he's going now. Probably. He's heading towards the waterfall. And thanks to all the time you spend "on duty" you know of about a dozen short cuts. So of course, you end up having to wait there for him, sitting on a rock. And of course, while waiting there on your rock you are absolutely positive that you were completely wrong about his destination. You also start thinking about where else he could have been heading. Along with whether or not you had anything for breakfast. You don't think you did. You'll have to fix that later. Needless to say, once the purpleblood is in full view you aren't thinking about any of these anymore. You're thinking about how he's a bit too tall to be Gamzee (a feat not easily achieved) and how Gamzee doesn't usually wear a skeleton suit and how Gamzee doesnt have his mouth sewn shut. But the thing that's taking up most of your mind is fear, dread, and the phrase "Great, what else can go wrong?" Yup, you've found the adult that's been skulking around.
You try to say something, but then his hand is over your mouth and he's motioning for you to be quiet. For some reason or another, this small thing sends you over the edge and suddenly you're too pissed to care about anything. You bring your foot up and knock the air out of him. Taken by surprise he doubles over. You take the opportunity to draw your blades and try to end him. Needless to say, he dodges and your swords hit air. In the next three seconds you're disarmed and pinned on your back. He a quick fucker, that's for sure. Somehow your glasses were knocked askew, effectively making your glare look stupid. Oh well, you were going to die anyway. You're about to bark at him when he covers your mouth again. You don't know what you were going to say though, probably something stupid. He puts his finger to his lips in a shooshing motion again. Now the only thing holding you down is the light pressure from his hand. But you don't get up. For one he's right above you. For two... He hasn't tried to hurt you yet. Which is strange. And you have little to no control over your curiosity.
You suppose you'll go along with it. Not like you can't. You cock an eyebrow, because you have no fucking clue what's going on. As if in answer to you, he points in a direction above your head and takes his hand away from your mouth. Now, should you look and bare your neck to him, or attack? You pause, then look. You don't immediately feel cold steel or claws on your neck and warm blood gushing out, so you suppose you made the right decision. You see trees. You look harder. You see a faint light bobbing through the woods. A traveller? At this time of night? Oh wait, it's blue. Oh shit, a will o' wisp?! It kind of looks like it's hesitating there... You look back at the troll above you. You point at it, then him, then cock your head to the side like you usually do when questioning people. He nods and drags his hand across his neck. It's after him, and it'll kill him if it finds him. Dandy. You don't really care enough to ask how this came about.
You make a shooing motion and he gets off you. You get up and you're about to leave this guy to his running when he stops you. He points to the wisp then to you and drags his hand across his neck again. No shit, that's why you're going the other way. You point in the opposite direction then wave goodbye and start walking. You don't care. He can suffer by himself. You don't care. He doesn't need your help. You don't care if he'll die. He's a stranger. You can't trust him. You don't care. Oh, who're you kidding. This situation is far too interesting for you to pass up. You look back at him. He's watching you. He motions for you to go already. You roll your eyes and wave for him to come with you. He glances back at the wisp. Then nods and starts following you. With only slight hesitation. You pick up your swords and head back to your cabin. If you took him to the other trolls, well let's just say he wouldn't be well received.
The way back is long. And silent. And long. Did you mention long yet? Eris, this is getting on your nerves. And he's staring at you. You can fucking feel it. You finally get to your house, and you feel that the will o' wisp is far enough away that you can speak. So you open the door and say
"Get in here."
But he just looks at you like you told him to cartwheel naked. You roll your eyes.
"What do you want to stay out there and go blind in the morn? Being a blind mute would suck even more than this." You say.
Now hes just looking at you like you're stupid. And you'd have to agree with him. That was one shitty argument.
You roll your eyes and say "I've got food."
He starts signing to you all rapid-fire like a fucking machine gun, but you hold up your hand to stop him.
"I don't know sign language." You say. You half think that he doesn't either.
He looks irritated. He points to you, then to him, then makes the motion you've come to mean 'death' for him.
Now you're irritated. "I tried to kill you before, but we both know how well that little endeavor turned out. The only way I could take you would be in your sleep. But unlike most of the dip-shits in existence, I'm not that much of an ass-hat!" You half rant.
He cocks an eyebrow, then points to you. Okay, that could mean a lot of things.
"Why am I doing this?" You ask. He nods.
You think for a second. He could just as easily off you in your sleep as you to him. Or at anytime really. He'd be taking up space and eating your food and being annoying. Yet your inviting him in. You would blame the humans, but really you've been like this for as long as you can remember.
"My reasons are my own." You say.
He points to you and shrugs, with a knowing look on his face.
"Of course I know why I'm doing this." You kind of snap.
He chuckles through his nose. With sound. Okay, guess he wasn't born mute. But then if he was he wouldn't be around to tell the tale.
You hold back a smile. "You comin' in here or not?" You ask and jerk your thumb over your shoulder.
He smiles and walks past you, through the door, and onto the couch. By the time you get in there, he's already out cold. You take the time to get a better look at him. He looks like shit. Probably something like you did when you first cane here. Like he hasn't slept for far too long. Like he hasn't eaten in a month. Only, he doesn't look like he'd rip your head off for sneezing in his general vicinity. And he has a shit load more hair. It looks like it hasn't been cared for in a while as well as the rest of him. In other words, he stinks and is dirty. His face paint is inverted compared to Gamzee's, and smeared or completely gone in some places. You wonder if you can help with that... Your eyes fall to his lips. It doesn't look like the wounds ever properly healed. You wonder how it happened. No, that's probably going too far. Wait, how does he eat? ... You'll leave that question for later. You start searching for his sign. Your eyes fall upon his codpiece and you go into shock for a bit. It's the same as Gamzee's. What the- How did- Who- Fucking Eris... You were joking about the Karkat and Kankri thing. But there's no denying the relation between these two. Should you be terrified?
You get up and walk away. Then return with a big ass blanket you found in your Closet of Mystery where you end up finding everything you need in times like this. When you are positive that you have nothing that would help. You put the blanket on the back of the couch. It's fairly windy in this area, so even though it's summer it can still get cold for those of skin and bones like him. And you like to keep it cold anyways. You fare much better in cold climates than hot ones. But that's not to say that you'll go live in an igloo on the ice. Though it does mean that there's no way in hell you're going south. Willingly at least. You go back out on patrol. You'll question him later. You feel a hand on your shoulder and obviously don't jump out of your skin. You turn around, obviously not slightly scared, and see Gamzee.
"Heya Beth. How're things goin for ya? Haven't seen you in a while." He says, looking slightly sad. Okay so you've been avoiding him. Somewhat. But more importantly, should you tell him?
"Oh yeah, I was looking for you earlier. I thought that you could help me with a few questions I've been trying to answer. Think you could help?" You ask.
"I'm all ears." He says.
"Alright, first off there's a girl that's going to die and I want to find out who. She's not human, has been integrated into human society, and has a moirail. Any ideas?" You ask.
"... I don't think any of us 'ave been integrated. Not many humans get involved with us, ya know?" He says.
"True." You say.
There's a pause while you both are contemplating it. At least, you think he's contemplating.
"What about Catsis?" He asks.
"What, like she might be the girl to die? No way. Cat's a human." You say.
"She is? You learn something new everyday." He says.
"Right." You say, drawing out the word. "In any case, onto the next one. I've been seeing and hearing about a couple adult trolls in the area. Any idea what that's about?" You ask.
"Well they ain't for Her Condesce." He says.
"How ya figure?" You ask.
"They wouldn't wait to start killin." He says.
"Well that's a load off my mind. You see any will o' wisps around lately." You say.
"Ain't those just fairy tales?" He asks.
"Well if you do see one, it'll probably try to kill you. Any idea why Vriska's here? And as a secondary question, you think we can scare her off?" You ask.
"Vriska's here? Must be 'cause she wants something. If we can scare her off... I don't got any idea." He says.
"Well, we'll figure it out sooner or later. Hopefully before it's too late. So... Yeah." You say.
"That all your questions?" He asks.
"Maybe. I'm not sure if I really want to ask this last one." You say.
"Go on girl, I don't judge. Is it a secret or something?" He asks.
"Well, not really. See... I don't know... Someone asked me... Listen, I was told that pity and love weren't one and the same. Think you can explain it to me?" You ask. Then feel like shit a second later. You hate having to ask for help. You also hate how pathetic you are for not being able to figure it out on your own.
"Oh that's an easy one. Pity is when ya want to take care a someone. An' love is when ya would do anything for someone." He says.
"That's... A very simplified version of pity. I'm guessing the same goes for love." You say.
"But it's true." He says.
"... Okay. You got me there." You say.
"That ain't all that's on your mind now is it." He says.
"True. There is something else. But I'm not too sure how to react to it yet. So it would be rather useless for me to tell you as of yet." You say. Yes, you're still in shock about that other troll. Not as bad as when you first found out, but still.
"In that case, I got a question for ya." He says.
That's curious. "Shoot." You say.
"What are ya gonna do once it's all over?" He asks, sounding worried and serious.
"Once what's all over? The hiding? The mysteries? What?" You ask.
"Once we don't have to hide anymore." He says.
You shrug. "I figured we'd all be hiding until death. But I suppose I'll go on like I always have, whether in hiding or not." You say.
"And how's that?" He asks.
"Reacting to whatever situation I'm put in." You say.
"Where will ya live?" He asks.
"Uh..." You elegantly say. "I suppose... I'll have to wait until I have a choice to choose. I'll need more time to think anyhow." You say.
"I hope ya decide to stay." He says.
You come to the area where your and Gamzee's path separate. A small nod. Your alone again. Heh, hope. Hoping never did you any good. You have no hope anymore. You wonder about that will o' wisp. It's not the only one you've seen. No one else you've met seems to see them. Other than that adult troll. You always lumped them in with the humans, before you saw the portal. Now you just don't know. Maybe you'll ask Cat later. Or not. Depends if you remember. But, the strange thing about that one was the fact that it was supposedly violent. All the others you've seen where just there. Sometimes they'd ask questions, like they thought they were trolls or something. Yeah, you should ask someone, mayhaps Terezi, about this. Terezi. You're guessing she knows all about this world. You can probably trust her to not expose you to Her Condesce. Not Gamzee though. He doesn't see the wisps. At least he helped you with your problems though. Kind of. Mainly he just confused you. Especially with the whole love and pity thing. You know you've felt pity before and you know what it is. It's when you see a weakness in another, but instead of wanting to take advantage of that weakness and kill them you want to protect them from those who do want to kill them. And Gamzee said that love is when you'd do anything for someone. How is that not the same thing?! But apparently it's not. Because both Dirk and Gamzee say so. Probably the other members of that weird little group as well. If you were stupid or desperate enough to ask them that is. So what the fuck is love, and how does it differ from pity? ... Okay, maybe you should just... Ask Dirk to explain it. Since he apparently has it for you.
Fucking Aneris this is complete bullshit. You need to be thinking about important things. Like why the hell did you let Gamzee's ancestor into your house?! Or why the fuck Vriska's here! Or how the fuck you forgot about your need to eat again. Or HOLY SHIT! You stop dead in your tracks when you see that will o' wisp from before not too far off. You know it's the sane one because fuck you! And it also has that same weird hazy glowy thing around it. Kind of looks like a body. You're about to get the fuck out if there, when you realize that faint whisper you've been tuning out is it talking. You try to get a better look at it. Because even if it'll fucking kill you, you always have to find out more. You finally get a better view and fucking shit.
It's talking to Aradia.