A/N:Part of this was written by Gin and Shug, and part by me. I hope you enjoy!

You are cordially invited to celebrate

the marriage of

Isabella Marie Swan

and

Edward Anthony Cullen…

~o0o~

Satin and lace whispered against Bella's skin as her mother and Alice helped her into her dress. Her eyes remained closed as her stomach roiled, and she grimaced at the rasp of the zipper, as if its closure marked the sealing of her fate. The sound of her pulse thundered in her ears, her heart thumping against her ribcage. Gentle hands secured her veil in place, and while others in the room sighed and ooh-ed and ahh-ed, Bella fought against the rising sense of panic.

Was she really going to go through with this charade of a wedding? Could she?

"Oh, Bella, you're so beautiful!"

Renee's voice was thick with emotion, and it was all Bella could do to keep herself from running, screaming from the room. Instead, she remained rooted to the spot and finally opened her eyes.

A choked sob stuck in her throat at the sight of her reflection in the full-length mirror. The dress wasn't what sent her emotions spiraling out of control; she'd seen it before, several times. But now, with her hair and makeup done and the veil in place, she looked exactly like the bride she'd once imagined she would one day be.

Edward's bride.

Oh, God.

Panicking. She was panicking, and she knew it, but she couldn't seem to catch her breath. Her reflection mocked her, reminding her of whispered conversations and shared dreams—of what could have been, if only she hadn't been so stupid.

And now… now she was about to walk down the aisle to the only man she'd ever loved. She would stand before all the important people in her life and exchange vows with that same man—a man who now hated her with as much intensity as he'd once loved her.

Bella stared at her reflection with a heavy heart. She'd always imagined her wedding to Edward would be the happiest day of her life—and instead it was about as far from happy as it could get.

Tears filled her eyes, and her mother wrapped an arm around her shoulders, her loving gaze meeting Bella's in the mirror.

"I can't believe my baby is getting married," Renee said with a sniffle, then dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. She glanced over where Esme was seated, dressed and ready for the ceremony. "Can you believe it, Esme? It seems like only yesterday we were dreaming of marrying our children off, and now it's finally happening." She turned back to Bella. "Oh, honey, I couldn't have hand-picked a better man for you... Wait a minute—I guess I did!" she crowed.

Bella tried to smile but was afraid it was more of a grimace. Every fiber of her being was desperate to bolt from the room, but one look at Esme's pale but happy face and she knew—there was no going back.

She would see this thing through. No matter how painful it was.

They waited for what seemed to be an eternity, until finally there was a knock at the door, and Carlisle poked his head in, his hand covering his eyes. "Everyone decent?"

Esme rolled her eyes. "Come in, Carlisle."

He lowered his hand and grinned before stepping fully into the room, shutting the door behind him. "I've come for the mothers. It's time to get you to your seats…" His voice trailed off as Bella turned to face him. "Bella," he breathed. "You're stunning, my dear. Edward will be beside himself."

She managed a small smile, but Carlisle's focus had already shifted to his wife. He tried to hide his concern, but Bella could see the tightness around his eyes. She was worried, too. Esme's condition had been steadily worsening, but the past few days had seemed especially difficult for her. She was gaunt, and even the glow of happiness stemming from having her family around her - her daughter home for a few days and Edward finally getting married to a woman she loved like a second daughter - could not cast off the sickly pallor.

In all honesty, Bella wasn't certain Esme would make it four more weeks, let alone the four months the doctors had estimated. The thought was terrifying, but it solidified her resolve.

This marriage was a formality - just a piece of paper that would give a dying woman peace of mind.

Carlisle helped his wife settle into her new wheelchair. "There. Ready?"

Esme smiled up at him. "Absolutely." Then she looked at Bella and held out a hand. Bella rushed forward to grasp her hand, quickly blinking back yet more tears as she took in Esme's joyous expression.

"This is a dream come true, my darling girl… for all of us. We love you."

Bella managed a tremulous smile. Facade though it might be, she was glad for this chance to reconcile with these people who had been too long gone from her life. "I love you, too." You'll never know how much.

More hugs and kisses were exchanged, and before they left, Renee pressed a tissue into her hand. "Don't let your make-up run, okay?" She gave Bella a bemused smile, squeezing her hands. "You know, you and Edward got so serious so young, I was scared you would end up married right out of high school." She chuckled. "I know there was some drama in between, but this is better."

Bella looked down, covering her grimace and hiding the ache she felt.

"I love you, baby girl."

"Love you, too, Mom."

Carlisle pushed Esme's chair to the door, and Renee followed along behind. He paused at the doorway and smiled over his shoulder. "Charlie will be here in a few minutes."

Taking a deep breath, Bella forced a smile to her face and hoped it looked genuine. She nodded, and then they were gone.

She closed her eyes briefly, then turned to pick up her bouquet. The sight of her soon-to-be sister-in-law startled her; Alice had been so quiet that Bella had forgotten she was there.

"Well, I guess this is it!" she said, hoping the slight tremor in her voice would be attributed to normal wedding day jitters.

Alice said nothing, her expression blank. Then she sighed heavily and looked away, seeming to struggle internally with something. Finally, she turned her gaze back to Bella and said, "Mom didn't want me to leave school this semester to be with her. She kept saying how important my education is and that there would be plenty of time to spend together this summer." Alice paused, her lower lip trembling with emotion. "I think we all know that's not going to happen."

Bella's eyes filled with tears, and she nodded in agreement.

"But of course, I'll have only missed a few months. Edward has missed years." She paused, and then her expression hardened. "I don't know what all has been going on these past few months, but I'm here now, and I just want you to know, I don't like you. I don't like what you did to Edward, and I don't like what you did to my family."

Bella's eyes widened in shock. "Alice—"

"No. We don't have much time, so let me finish, and then we can just move on." She laughed bitterly. "I guess we'll have to, sister." She said the word scathingly. Not waiting for a reply, she barreled ahead, her tone cold. "Ever wonder why my parents moved to Seattle? They hoped it was far enough from Forks—and you—that Edward would move back after college. It wasn't, and he didn't. I changed schools in the middle of high school, left behind friends I'd known my entire life, and I did it willingly, hoping to get my brother back. But it was for nothing. Did you know until mom got sick, he hadn't stepped foot in Washington since you broke things off with him? He didn't come to my high school graduation. He never came home for Christmas or Thanksgiving or…" She stopped, choking back a sob.

A single tear slipped down Bella's cheek, and she brushed it away with shaking fingers. "I'm sorry."

"You should be," Alice retorted, her mouth trembling even as it twisted into a sneer. "It was all your fault. Do you even know what you did to him? You did more than just break his heart—you decimated it. You left him without a heart, without a soul. You ruined him. He was never the same after you—he's still not. And that is how I know this wedding is a huge farce."

Bella shook her head, not knowing how to respond to those accusations. Not only could she not tell Alice the truth about why she was marrying Edward, but she'd honestly had no idea that their breakup had caused such heartache for anyone other than herself. She knew she'd hurt him, of course, but lots of people had high school breakups—it was almost a rite of passage.

It wasn't as if he'd fought her on it. He'd said nothing at all, actually. In fact, his easy acquiescence had convinced her she'd done the right thing. She'd even considered the idea that she'd just beaten him to the punch, that maybe he'd found someone better. Such thoughts had plagued her since the moment he'd left for Dartmouth, and when he just let her go, with no fight whatsoever, she'd wondered if he'd found that someone. Someone prettier and smarter and better suited. Not that she thought he'd cheated—she knew he would never have done that—but she had thought that maybe he'd been relieved. Maybe he'd felt free.

Now Alice was telling her that he'd been as devastated as she had been. Was that really possible?

"Edward won't tell me anything," Alice continued, oblivious to Bella's internal rumination, "but I have my suspicions. So I'm asking you—whatever is going on, don't hurt him again. Because if you do, this time you'll answer to me."

Alice swept past, leaving the room in a swirl of blue taffeta before shutting the door behind her with a decisive click.

Bella remained in the middle of the room, paralyzed with guilt, shock, and frustration. How had it all gone wrong? She'd thought she'd done the right thing, even though it had killed her to do it, and she had comforted herself with the certainty that Edward had quickly healed and moved on. That he was happy.

Obviously she'd been very, very wrong. Edward hadn't healed, hadn't moved on, and he certainly wasn't happy. Instead, he'd separated himself from his family and become someone she'd have never imagined. Bitter. Angry. Vengeful. All because of her and her stupidity.

Pain lanced her heart as, for the first time, she fully comprehended just what horrible mistake she had made. Her breath came in desperate gasps, and she struggled to repress the sobs clawing at her chest. What had she done? Dear God. What had she done to this family?

~o0o~

The sun was shining—a rare commodity in Forks—and Bella lay on her back in their meadow, basking in its warming rays. Her eyes were closed, and her skin tingled where Edward was running his fingers along her arm. He laughed softly, and she responded with a lazy smile.

"Someday you're going to be my wife."

Bella turned onto her side and cocked an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

His lips curved into a smug grin as he reached to tickle her cheek with a blade of grass. "Really."

"Hmm. I don't know…"

Edward growled playfully as he covered her body with his and leaned down to nip her neck. "You don't know?"

Bella laughed. "Nope. I don't know… because you've never asked me."

"Oh, I'll ask. And when I do, what will you say?"

He raised his head to look at her, his eyes tinged with vulnerability, and Bella was unable to continue with her little game. She placed her hands on either side of his face, and with her voice infused with all the sincerity in her heart, she replied, "I'll say yes. Yes, yes, yes."

His expression lightened, and he looked at her with such adoration that she could hardly breathe. "And then I'll be the happiest man alive."

"I love you."

"I love you, too… forever."

"Always."

~o0o~

A bead of sweat trickled down Edward's back, despite the fact that he'd already cranked up the air-conditioning twice. His stomach was in knots, and his hands shook slightly as he attempted to put on his bowtie.

"Twentieth time's a charm, right?" he mumbled to himself, cursing when his fingers slipped yet again. "Damn it."

A deep chuckle came from behind him, and he slid his gaze to Charlie's reflection just over his left shoulder.

"Need a bit of help there, son?"

Edward wondered if Charlie would still be calling him that if he knew how he'd basically blackmailed his daughter into marrying him. The ache in his stomach intensified. Guilt sucked.

"Do you know how to tie one of these things?" he asked, unable to look his soon-to-be father-in-law in the eyes any longer.

"Sure."

Edward turned around and raised his chin as Charlie made quick work of the bowtie.

"There you go. You'll just want to, you know, make sure it's straight or whatever," Charlie said, his cheeks slightly pink as he motioned toward the mirror.

"Thanks." Edward turned to the mirror to check out his tie. "Look good?" he asked.

Charlie grunted and moved to the other side of the room; Edward took that as a yes. His tuxedo jacket lay across the back of a leather chair, and he picked it up, smoothing a hand across the fabric before shrugging into it and then returning to the mirror to make sure everything was in place.

Charlie was fidgeting with his sleeves, his mouth opening, then closing several times before he ran a hand across his face, obviously unaware that Edward could see his reflection in the mirror. His mouth twitched, fighting a smile; the scene was a familiar one. Charlie often had to work up to a serious discussion. Edward was nervous about what Charlie might have to say, but he let him take his time, sneaking a glance every now and then as he pretended to fuss with his cufflinks.

After several minutes of silence, Charlie finally got down to business. "You love her."

It was a statement, not a question. Edward didn't want to lie to Charlie—not directly, anyway—and so he merely raised an eyebrow.

Charlie nodded. "I know you do, and that's why I owe you an apology, son."

Edward frowned and wondered what the man was talking about.

"I know what you're thinking," Charlie said, correctly interpreting Edward's expression. Charlie seemed to zone out for a minute, lost in his thoughts, and Edward froze, simultaneously riveted and discomfited by the remembered pain etched into the older man's face.

"It's okay—" he began, but Charlie was quick to interrupt.

"No, it's not. This has been a long time coming, and I'd appreciate it if you just let me have my say." He gave Edward a pointed look.

"Okay," he said, confused but curious.

Charlie nodded his thanks. "Like I said, I owe you an apology. I know Bella had a hard time after she ended things with you—and knowing how you love her, I'm sure you did, too. Thing is, I could have stopped it. Maybe. I don't know. But I could have tried harder. I should have tried harder."

Edward turned around to face Charlie directly. "What do you mean?

Charlie sat down on the arm of the chair. "Her mom's and my divorce really did a number on Bella. Renee leaving for Arizona didn't help matters any, but you know that. She was young but old enough to understand that her mother was leaving her behind. You remember."

He did. It had been an awful time. Bella had been nine years old when Renee left, and Edward remembered awkwardly attempting to comfort his distraught best friend, remembered her asking what she could have done to have made her mother love her more, so that she would have stayed. It had been heartbreaking.

"They may have repaired things over the years, but that hurt lingered. When you left for New Hampshire," Charlie continued, "she was terrified. She hid it well, but… well, she can't hide stuff from her old man. That fear ate at her and ate her until… I guess you know what happened after that, huh?"

He shook his head. "The minute I saw that rejection letter in the trash, I should have known what she would do. God, she was a mess. I tried to talk some sense into her, but she wouldn't hear it. Said she was doing her best by you, that in the long run, you'd thank her. But I saw it. That same old fear. She was going to let you go before you could leave her. Not getting into Dartmouth was just a good excuse."

Edward closed his eyes as he sank into a chair, his hands gripping his hair. She hadn't been accepted to Dartmouth? He'd had no idea; she'd never told him.

His fingers tightened their grasp. It didn't matter what her reasoning was. The result was the same.

"So I'm sorry, Edward," Charlie said as he stood and straightened to his full height. "I could have probably prevented you both a lot of heartache if I'd been able to make her see reason. I should have done something—"

"No," Edward interrupted, rising to his feet. "There's nothing to forgive. None of it was your fault. We were young. Things happen." He forced himself to continue, valiantly fighting to keep the bitterness from his tone. "Bella and I, we're in a better place now. Maybe this is the way it needed to be."

Charlie clasped his arm in appreciation. "Thanks, son. And thanks for loving my little girl." He glanced at his watch. "I best head over to the bridal suite. Got to make sure the bride is ready. See you in a few."

Edward's thoughts swam as he sat by himself for a few minutes.

This was wrong. This was so wrong. It was as though the world had been filtered, turned into contrasting and clashing colors. The feel to the air was discordant when it should have felt hopeful. Beautiful. Full of love, not this foul bitterness that had left his tongue and throat permanently coated with awfulness.

A knock at the door drew his attention. "Edward?"

Edward took a deep breath and stood, turning to face his father.

"Everyone's ready. We should go take our place," Carlisle said gently. He paused, and put his hands on Edward's shoulders, looking him over. A serious expression came over his face. "I know you're doing this for your mother."

Edward balked. "What?" He'd been so careful. If Bella had-

"Rushing to this, so to speak," Carlisle continued, and Edward breathed a little easier. "I know you only just reconnected, and maybe it would be better to give yourself time before you rush into marriage. It's not easy, you know. It's never easy." He chuckled. "But your mother's illness..." The skin around his eyes tightened, and Edward's heart twisted. "Time is precious," Carlisle continued after a moment. "Love is always a risk, but we have to make the best of what time we have."

Edward couldn't speak. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know if he should feel better or worse for what he was doing. He didn't know if he could open his mouth without his anger at Bella, at what could have been, at what should have been, boiling over.

Love was a risk, and someone should have told him she wasn't worth it. But here they all were - his parents, her parents - telling him that this was right. Nothing had ever been more right than the idea that Edward and Bella would end up together.

She was worth it, they kept saying. This was worth it.

Carlisle patted him on the back and gestured for the door. Mechanically, Edward followed.

The world seemed to warp then. It was a surreal place, and for once, too overcome with uncertainty and grief, the hate he clung to desperately was missing.

Once upon a time, this day would have had him bursting with satisfaction and awe. In some other universe, nothing - not even his mother's dire illness - would have been able to stop his smile. He'd had many hopes and dreams, but none of them greater than making Bella his wife.

So when the music played and she appeared, something in his heart, his mind switched off. He let go. For so long, he'd fought hard to keep anger firm by his side. Anger was so much easier than the devastating pain of knowing the one thing he wanted more than anything else - the one thing he'd have given up everything else for - was forever beyond his reach. When he saw her - heartbreakingly gorgeous, perfect, and walking toward him - he gave in to the beautiful delusion he'd painted for his mother's sake.

The past faded away, and for the first time in eight years, he felt whole - like he had when he was a teenager. The world was his to have. He could do anything with this woman by his side. The idea was so healing, the constant weight on his heart lifted as if it had never been there at all. He opened his hand, letting Charlie place hers in his, and when he looked at her, his smile was genuine.

It was the smile of his former self for hers, and he saw the uncertainty in her tortured eyes before she smiled back.

They looked on each other with hope and love, transported back eight years - before the world had become so twisted and... real.

Soon, Edward knew his brain would turn back on, and it would hurt. It would be like it was before - when it felt as though she'd been physically ripped out of his body. It would probably be worse, and he would have to fight to find that anger again, the hate, because at least he could breathe through the hate.

But for the minutes, as they pledged their undying love and devotion, he let himself believe.

At the direction of the priest, he slid the band on her finger and she on his.

Forever. Always.

Her father was right. They were all right. He loved her. Despite everything, he loved her.

And that was why he hated her so much.

A/N: No posting schedule, friends, but I think you know by now I never leave you hanging for long.

Unless you read my pirate fic... that fic will not fucking talk to me, and it's driving me up the wall. Sigh.

Anyway. Let me hear from you!