LOBSTER WEDDING III

"Speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech!" the entire room chanted.

Joey pressed a microphone into Rachel's hands. Rachel smiled shyly at the crowd, blushing. Impromptu speeches had never been her forte, as everyone knew from her train-wreck Princess Bubbleyum speech at Barry Farber's wedding all those years ago. Rachel stepped forward, nervously.

"Um… Hi everyone, I uh… thanks so much for being here on my wedding day. Wow… gosh I don't know what to say, I'm really blown away by all this. It really caught me by surprise. I mean, when daddy ambushed me with a wedding dress, I was really confused and overwhelmed; I had no idea what to expect."

"But this, right here, is beyond my wildest dreams, I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful wedding. Everything is just so intimate and personal. There's a whole story behind it, if you really want to know. It's pretty funny, actually," Rachel chuckled.

"Years ago Ross and I attended his parents' anniversary party, and Ross's parents were embarrassed that we were having Emma… out of wedlock, so they lied to everyone we had gotten married. So everyone was walking up to us congratulating us on our marriage, and asking us how to describe what our wedding was like."

"So, Ross and I thought it would be an opportunity to have a little fun making things up, y'know, get creative, get carried away. So, we told all sorts of ridiculous stories about what our wedding was like. I think I mentioned ice sculptures, a ten-tiered cake, a pure diamond necklace, and a Vera Wang wedding dress…"

"You're wearing a Vera Wang dress right now, honey! Only the best for my favourite daughter!" Leonard interrupted, tipsily lifting his champagne glass in the air. The crowd laughed, and Rachel's sisters scowled.

"Why yes I am!" Rachel laughed, twirling around girlishly. "Anyway, I don't really remember exactly what we both said that day, but I do remember one thing, that stuck in my mind throughout these years, because it touched me so deeply. One of Ross's aunts asked him how he proposed to me, and he launched into the most amazing beautiful description."

"He said that he proposed at the Planetarium, which he laced with white lilies and candles, and that he got down on one knee, and proposed to me underneath the Planetarium sky. I swear, I was completely won over at that moment, but of course, I wasn't gonna tell him that at the time, what with all my pride."

"And that beautiful haunting song Ross played for me as I was walking down the aisle? It's called Wicked Games. I'm not gonna lie, that song has a special meaning for the both of us. This is kind of embarrassing, but Ross and I… consummated our relationship at the Planetarium to this song," Rachel said coyly. Ross blushed. The entire room erupted into laughter and applause. Joey punched Ross in the arm, in approval.

Emma tugged Phoebe's dress, "Aunt Pheebs, what's Comsoonate mean?"

"You're gonna have to wait another 14 years before I answer that question," Phoebe laughed.

When the laughter died down, Rachel continued, "So now you know the story behind this wedding. I honestly never thought that the proposal Ross imagined all those years ago, would one day come true. My wedding… Our wedding wouldn't have been this amazing if it weren't for all of you."

"I love you all so much, and I am so blessed to have you all in my life. I want to thank my new husband Ross, and our beautiful, amazing little girl, Emma. Thank you for being you. I love you both so very much. And to my mom, dad, sisters; I love you guys to pieces."

"And last but not least, I want to thank the friends nearest and dearest to my heart. This goes out to Joey, Phoebe, Monica and Chandler."

The room fell silent and still, as everyone stared at Rachel in shock. Horrified at her mistake, Rachel clapped her hands over her mouth.

"Um…did she just thank the guy who tried to kill her kid?" Ursula Buffay asked incredulously. Phoebe elbowed Ursula hard in the ribs.

"Mommy…?" Emma whispered in hurt confusion.

Rachel backed away from the microphone, tripping over her stiletto heels. Feeling like a deer caught in headlights, Rachel hiked up her wedding dress, and stumbled quickly towards the exit, desperate to escape the sea of shocked faces.