A/N: Many thanks to Tisket for sharing her first hand account of watching a loved one battle this particular type of cancer. *hugs*

Short but far from sweet. *holds your hands*

Bella was frightfully certain Edward was going to go out of his mind.

He would have fared better if they could drive home, though the couple of hours from Carmel to San Francisco had been nerve wracking to say the least.

While Edward drove, cursing up a storm at everyone on the road, Bella scoured the net on her phone looking for the earliest possible flight back home.

They'd left their luggage back in the suite, so when they got to security, it was just them, Bella's purse, her duffle bag, and Edward's briefcase. Knowing he was close to spontaneous combustion, Bella took Edward's hand. She prompted him to take off his shoes and kept him moving.

"Don't even think about yelling at the security people, Edward." She stood on her tiptoes so she could murmur the warning in his ear right before he snapped at one of the TSA officials who was just doing his job.

Esme was bad off. She'd taken a turn very suddenly, almost as soon as she'd gotten off the phone with Edward early that morning. The hospice nurse the doctor sent said it could be days or it could be hours. It was hard to say. When she was awake, Esme was beyond speech. It wouldn't be long.

They'd hardly gotten past security before Edward was on the phone again, talking to Alice, and then his father. From the half of the conversation she heard, they were encouraging him to say goodbye now. Edward was resisting. Hard.

"You said the nurse said it could be days... I know. I know she's in pain, but..."

Taking his briefcase from his hands, Bella pushed him in the direction of the gate, telling him she would be right back. She doubted he even heard her, but she wanted to give him space.

Well, she wanted to give him space, and she needed a moment to herself. Safely around the corner, she sunk into a squat, dropping the briefcase and her bags to the floor as she clapped a hand over her mouth.

For a handful of moments, she let the pain have her.

Of course, these last few months they'd all known this day would come. This was the inevitable outcome, the inescapable fate. But knowing it was coming and being caught up in the middle of it were two different things.

The need for more time was palpable, a physical part of her like an arm or a leg or her heart pumping in her chest.

How many times over these last few months, watching Esme's face contort in pain, had Bella wished for an end? It was unbearable to see, and she'd writhed because she was helpless to stop it. During the worst times with Edward, it was what kept her going. What was her psychological suffering to Esme's torment?

It all had an end. When Bella knew Esme was too far gone to be cured, she knew in some part of her she'd refused to acknowledge that when she was praying for an end, she was praying for her mother-figure's death. That was the only relief left. That was the only peace Esme would be offered.

Yet she understood exactly where Edward was coming from. As much as she wanted to take away Esme's pain, she also wanted her to remain. It was a selfish wish, she knew. Impossible.

Grief was crushing. Bella's shoulders trembled from the effort of keeping herself upright. What she wanted to do was curl up on the ground. Surely this pain was too great and the mercy of unconsciousness was right around the corner. She didn't want to do this, didn't want to go through this. She felt like a toddler, pulling back on her parent's hand, howling and digging her feet into the ground because she absolutely did not want this to happen.

"Ma'am. Are you okay? Ma'am?"

Bella gasped, realizing at that moment she hadn't taken a breath in far too many seconds. Her lungs ached. Her heart ached.

No, she was definitely not okay.

"Ma'am? Do you need a doctor?"

Bella shook her head, taking in another unsteady breath. Her thoughts were trying to scramble away to a safe, happy place where she wasn't about to lose a woman she loved so much.

But there wasn't anything to be done. There was nowhere to run. Denial or not, this was going to happen.

And Edward needed her. No matter how Bella felt, Esme wasn't her mother. She wasn't going to lose her mother today or tomorrow. Renee would live to see another Christmas, another birthday, her grandchildren born. Esme wouldn't, and of the two of them, it was Edward who was suffering more because of it.

Opening her eyes, Bella took the offered hand of her concerned fellow traveler, letting the man help her up. "I'm... I'm sorry," she stumbled. "I... My mother-in-law is dying, and we're trying to get to her. I just needed a moment."

The man's eyes went soft with compassion. "Oh, hon. That's hard, that's so hard." He took a hesitant step forward. "Can I hug you?"

Bella's soul ached with need. "I would really like that," she said in a whisper.

The man took her in his arms, holding her tightly. Thank goodness for the kindness of strangers, Bella thought numbly. She clung to him for a few seconds, taking the comfort she so desperately needed, and when he let go, she felt like she could breathe again.

"Thank you." She wiped tears away from her eyes and sniffled. "I should get back to my husband."

"Peace be with you."

Bella smiled a watery but genuine smile at the man before she headed back to the gate.

As soon as she saw Edward, she regretted leaving him. He was by the window, pacing five steps forward and back in the limited space. His hands were gripped in his hair, and the way he had it standing on end, he looked deranged.

Bella's heart skipped a beat when she saw people were looking. A security guard was headed toward him, his gait purposeful. Bella hurried to close the distance between them.

"Mister-" the man began, but Bella got to him then, touching his arm.

"Please," she pleaded, stepping close enough so she could lower her voice. "His mother is dying, and he's far away. He's distraught. I shouldn't have left him. Please. I have him now."

The hard look on the man's face softened, and he nodded. "My condolences," he said quietly. "But if he disturbs the other passengers..."

"He won't," Bella said quickly. "I'll make sure."

To that end, Bella got right in Edward's path, holding her hands out in a stopping motion. He stumbled, looking up at her with eyes that didn't see.

She called his name gently, but he didn't look at her. His lips were parted, his breath ragged. "Sit down, okay?"

"I'm-" he started to argue, but Bella stepped right up to him, her hands around his arms.

"You're scaring the other passengers. If you get us kicked out of the airport, it'll take us that much longer to get there."

Edward huffed, but he took a few steps backward and sat heavily in one of the chairs. He slumped forward, his head bowed.

Bella knelt in front of him, working her fingers under his clenched fists. "Talk to me, Edward. I'm right here."

His features were twisted. "I can't," he whispered.

"Just talk to me." She wound her fingers through his.

He hung his head, gasping quietly for breath. "I can't do it," he finally said. His voice was so thin, she almost didn't hear him.

"Can't do what?" she prompted.

"I can't lose her yet. Not yet." He sucked in a breath. "I can't, Bella. I'm not ready." He slumped right out of his seat, onto his knees by her, as though he was unable to hold himself up.

What Bella wanted to do was crumple with him. She wasn't ready either. She would never be ready.

She took a deep breath, wrapping Edward up in her arms and sitting up straight. She was going to be strong enough to hold him upright.

Because she didn't have the words to make it better, Bella didn't say anything. She rocked him, stroking her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. She held him as he tried to breathe.

Only a few minutes went by before their flight began boarding. Edward stood, pressing his fists into his eyes and breathing in and out for a few seconds before he stepped away from her and picked up his briefcase. Transferring both her bags to one shoulder, Bella reached for his hand. She continuously rubbed her thumb over his knuckles as the line shuffled forward.

Edward was beyond restless. The way he squirmed in his seat, bouncing his leg was worse than any toddler. He didn't let go of Bella's hand for longer than was absolutely necessary.

It seemed to take an eon before they were finally taking off.

As soon as they could put their tray tables down, Bella dug the puzzle book out of her bag. She flipped until she found a word search. "Edward." She tugged his hand. "Help me with this." A word search didn't take much thought. She knew he wouldn't have been able to concentrate on the other puzzles that took some thinking, but she hoped the word search might distract him.

He blew out a sharp breath, clenching the fingers of his free hand on top of his knee several times before he bent forward slightly. When he pressed the pad of his finger to the beginning of one word, dragging it downward to show her where it was, Bella felt the knot in her stomach loosen slightly.

The flight from San Francisco to Seattle was relatively short, but it might as well have been a flight to New Zealand. Bella was well aware of every minute, every second.

These were the last hours Esme Cullen would ever have, and this was how Bella and Edward were spending them.

Edward pushed the book away. "I shouldn't have left her. This trip... We shouldn't have gone."

"It was what she wanted." Bella was surprised when he took her hands of his own volition. She swallowed hard and squeezed his fingers. "You've said everything you wanted to say, haven't you?"

"You think it's enough?" His voice was rough.

"No." Loosing one hand from his, she cupped his cheek tenderly. "It won't ever be enough."

His shuddered and leaned his forehead against hers.

Somehow, they made it through the rest of the flight. Esme was asleep but breathing when they landed. Jasper was there to pick them up.

They were still a good three and a half hours from home.

Jasper made it in three.

Bella was right on Edward's heels as they raced into the house and upstairs.

Then, after so many hours of driving, of flying, of just needing to be in this very room, everything went still. Time slowed to a crawl.

Carlisle sat on the bed, his back against the headboard, his wife's limp hand in his. He didn't look away from her even as Edward and Bella shuffled into the room.

Sitting at their mother's bedside, Alice stood up and crossed quickly. She hugged Edward tightly, and then she hugged Bella because there were no enemies at moments like these. "I'm glad you're home," was all she said.

And Esme...

She looked so tiny in the huge bed. Her skin and what few wisps of hair she had left were so drained of color, the effect was surreal. She was a ghost of the vibrant woman she'd been - wasted, small, and so still, Bella was almost certain they were too late. The rise and fall of her chest was so subtle, it was easy to miss.

"I'm here, Momma," Edward whispered to his mother as he took the seat closest to her head. He clutched her hand, his voice breaking. "I'm right here now."

Esme didn't stir, at least, not then.

The hospice nurse spoke to them softly, but Bella hardly heard her. She understood Esme's body was shutting down. She understood it would be sooner than later.

It was only about a half hour after Edward and Bella arrived that Esme opened her eyes. They all gasped. No one had expected her to wake up again.

"Mom?" Edward said.

Esme's head turned slowly toward him. Her gaze was bleary, but she smiled. It was barely a hint, barely a lift of her dried, cracked lips, but it was there. She smiled at her son. Then her eyes flicked to Alice. And then Bella.

Her breath was ragged, and it obviously took some effort, but she turned her head finally to her husband.

"Sweetheart," Carlisle whispered, sliding down so he was laying beside her. He cradled her face in his hands, pressing against her so they were nose to nose.

Bella's heart shattered at the sight. She'd never known a couple so in love as Esme and Carlisle. She couldn't imagine him alone. The idea hurt.

Everything hurt.

Esme let out a huff of breath, her eyes closing again.

The unshed tears in Carlisle's eyes brimmed over, falling to the pillow beneath his head. His lower lip trembled, but he pressed them tight together, and gathered her closer. "We love you," he whispered, his lips against her ear. "I love you. Always."

He kissed her. "Rest, sweet girl. Rest now," he whispered to her.

Edward's hand was on her shoulder, Bella's on her arm, and Alice's fingers wrapped around hers.

Her breath came and went, came and went, came and went.

And stopped.

Carlisle's breath whined in the back of his throat as he closed his eyes and kissed her forehead, her nose, her still lips. Alice sobbed. Edward bowed his head. Standing behind Alice, Jasper rubbed her shoulders.

Bella wept quietly.

The nurse came forward, gently pulling Carlisle far enough away that she could press her stethoscope to Esme's chest. She listed a moment, and then put a comforting hand to Carlisle's shoulder.

"She's gone."

A/N: So. Thank you to ginny and shug for their approval. Thank you to songster for handholding. Thank you to Barburella for being Barburella.

How are we, kids?

*hugs*