TRUTH I

"Hi, this is Dr Burke."

"Burke? As in fought-for-Mon-but-lost-to-Chandler, grandpa Richard?" Phoebe teased light-heartedly.

Richard chuckled. "Yes, yes indeed. I'm calling about Chandler Bing."

"Is he ok? What's happened?" Phoebe demanded, instantly alarmed.

"He's alright. He's out of the woods for now. He's at the hospital, and he wants to see you."

"Of course, I'll come right away! What happened to him?"

"I'm not at liberty to say; doctor-patient confidentiality, but I'm sure he'll tell you. Do you know where the correctional facility hospital is, Phoebe?"

"Yes, yes I do, I've visited many of my friends from when I was living on the streets. I'm on my way now." Phoebe hung up the phone.

Phoebe leapt off the bus, rushing towards the correctional facility, out of breath, and panting. A prison guard issued her a visitor's pass; ran a metal detector over her, and escorted her to the prison hospital. Phoebe's face blanched when she saw how gaunt, pale and broken Chandler looked. Richard nodded respectfully at her, and walked away, giving the two privacy. Phoebe bent over the bed, taking Chandler's face between her hands. She kissed his forehead gently.

"My God Chandler, what happened to you? You look awful," she whispered, heartbroken.

"Way to kick me when I'm down," Chandler joked weakly.

"Chandler…" Phoebe chided gently.

"Pheebs, I wanted to, I tried to…"

Phoebe saw Chandler's heavily bandaged arm; and a very distinct hollow look in his eyes that she had once seen in her mother, all those years ago. Phoebe's heart sank to the pit of her stomach.

"Chandler, please tell me you didn't try to…" Phoebe let her voice trail off.

Chandler was grateful Phoebe understood without explanation. Joey was the first person Chandler wanted to call. The guy was his best friend, after all. But then he imagined having to explain this to Joey. Joey had never been the sharpest tool in the tool-shed, and the last thing Chandler needed was to be forced to say it out loud… I tried to kill myself by slitting my wrist with a shard of glass, Joey!

"Chandler, talk to me," Phoebe prompted gently.

"I tried to, but I changed my mind. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving Mon, Jack and Erica behind," Chandler admitted, ashamed.

Phoebe nodded her head soberly. There wasn't a trace of judgement in her eyes, only empathy and understanding. Chandler knew she was had been the right person to call. She was the only person with the terrible life experience to understand the depths of his grief.

"Chan, can I ask you, why you… tried to?" Phoebe asked uncertainly.

"That's why I called you; something happened, and it's been eating me alive. I can't bear to tell Mon, it would break her heart."

"Chan, what happened? Did someone hurt you? Did one of the prisoners hurt you?" Phoebe asked tentatively.

"Yes, how did you know?" Chandler asked, bewildered by Phoebe's accurate insight.

"I've been in prison before; I know ins and outs of that place. So if someone's bullying you, you can tell me, I'd understand," Phoebe pried gently.

"It's more than that, Pheebs," Chandler replied vaguely.

"What, Chandler, what did they do?" Phoebe pressed.

"This was a bad idea, I don't think I can do this," Chandler backtracked. Phoebe grasped Chandler firmly by the shoulders, looking deeply into his eyes.

"Yes you can, Chandler, tell me. Whatever it is, I can help you if you let me," Phoebe insisted.

"No, really, I can't. You should leave, I shouldn't have called," Chandler faltered.

"I'm not leaving till you tell me what's hurting you. Just tell me, and I'll help you." Phoebe said, almost aggressively.

"My inmates…" Chandler struggled.

"What, Chandler, what did they do? Tell me," Phoebe pleaded.

"They raped me," he whispered.