"God damn hair!" I grumbled brushing it from my eyes as I stepped out to cross the street.
Everything happened so fast it felt like it didn't happen at all once it was over. I heard the screeching of tires, and a yell from a man. I turned to look, finally getting the stray hair from my face, only to come face to face with the front of an SUV. I couldn't move! I felt like my legs were stuck to the ground and feet weighed a thousand pounds. Suddenly I felt the impact. The first slam into my shoulder and then hitting the ground. It was funny falling and getting hit the way I had... sideways... I had been facing the car, I should have gone up and over the hood. A large mass landed on top of me, knocking the wind from my lungs. I squeezed my eyes shut waiting for the horrible tires to collapse my chest and lungs, crush my heart. Waiting to die.
But I didn't.
I peered out from my eyelashes to see the car stopped in the exact place I had been standing... but I was alive... and shoved to the side of the road. My breath came out in a gasp and tears welled into my eyes. I was saved. I didn't die. I looked around at the crowd that had gathered and then seen what had prevented my death.
Upon my lap was a freckle faced, green eyed, heartbreaking gorgeous man. His eyes met mine and we were both greeted by shock.
"Dean?" I asked.
"Emily?!"
"Dean? Dean!" I said shocked and flung my arms around his neck. He grabbed me tight and squeezed what breath I had left out of me.
"What are you doing here? And are you aware you're supposed to look both ways before crossing the street damn it." Dean said pulling me back and staring straight into my eyes. I started crying and laughing at the same time. He pulled me into him and kissed my forehead.
"I'm here visiting Jen. She moved after the whole Djinn incident... I'm just here for a few days while she gets settled. What are you doing here? Is there..." I stopped looking at the surrounding crowd that had formed. Dean glanced away and noticed too. He got up from the ground and surveyed the damage.
The guy in the car was still frozen in his seat a look of pure terror on his face. His hands were gripping the wheel so tight his fingers had begun to turn white. He slowly turned his head and seen I was okay and slumped over into his seat resting his head on the steering wheel. Unfortunately he had passed out and now his forehead activated the horn that began blaring endlessly. Dean looked at him and then me eyebrows raised and motioned for me to slowly back away while the crowd began huddling around the car.
We took off down the side alley nearest dodging trash and dumpsters. Dean was laughing the whole time until we reached a few blocks away and he turned on me.
"What were you thinking?" He asked.
"Dean, I was blind! My hair was in my face! How was I supposed to know he was there. When I had looked there was no one there!" I argued. He bent down resting his hands on his knees and it was then I noticed the blood. I gasped and rushed over taking his hands in mine. When he had pushed me out of the way he didn't want to land on top of me so he threw his hands out and dug them into the concrete.
"Dean, I'm sorry." I said.
"It's fine, they're fine. They just sting a little, I've had worse." He joked. I shook my head at his rough hands, knowing he was not telling me a lie.
"Come on my sister lives a few blocks from here, I'll clean them up. The could get infected! Please?" I insisted.
"No, Sammy's back at the hotel, which is right across from here. I'm fine let me drive you home though. I don't trust you walking." He said.
"Bitch please." I said giving him a look. He opened his mouth and turned his head slightly in shock.
"What?" He asked.
"Nothing. Let's go." I said blushing. I began to walk to the hotel near the alley and Dean grabbed me by my coat collar.
"Not crossing the road without a buddy." He said looking both ways.
"So what you gonna hold my hand too?" I asked sarcastically. He gave me a pointed look and took my hand before leading me across the street.
"You're such a butt head." I giggled. He didn't answer me but instead gave me a tiny smirk before walking into the old hotel. Sam was sitting in the lobby reading a paper.
"Dean! Where've you been?" Sam asked tossing the newspaper aside and standing. I smiled huge and he finally noticed me.
"Someone's got a death wish it seems." Dean said letting go. I squeed and ran over to the giant Sam and gave him a hug. He laughed with his pink tongue peeping out from behind his beautiful white teeth.
"Emily!? Oh my god! What are you doing here?" He asked.
"I'm visiting Jen. She moved here after the whole incident, and I'm helping her settle in. What are you guys doing here? Please tell me you're not here for work." I said. Sam shook his head looking at Dean unworried.
"No, we're just passing through. Small world." He said smiling.
"I know!" I smiled.
"Yeah well, we wouldn't have been talking right now if I hadn't of saved her ass yet again." Dean said crossing his arms.
"What?"
"I almost got hit by a car. He pushed me out of the way." I said. Dean nodded and looked over at Sam.
"Are you okay?" Sam asked concerned.
"Yes, but Dean scraped up his hands a little." I said. Dean rolled is eyes.
"She apparently thinks I'm going to die from it." He replied.
"No I said they could get infected." I said.
"You do realize he's had worse right?" Sam said.
"I told her." Dean replied.
"Ha ha ha excuse me for thinking of your health." I replied.
"I'm fine."
"Fine." I said back.
"Fine!" He said mockingly.
"Fine!" I shot back.
"GUYS! I swear it's like I'm working with a bunch of eight year olds." Sam said. I smiled and he pulled me under his arm giving me a noogie.
"Stop!" I yelled.
"So you said Jen was in town? How is she doing?" Sam asked smiling after releasing me.
Of course Sam would ask about Jen. During the days after they boys had saved our behinds they hung around to make sure we were okay. It seemed that Jen and Sam had gotten close during the time we had, and I won't lie, Dean and I did too. However, I hadn't seen him since the day he'd left, we'd kept up with each other in emails and short phone calls.
"She's doing great, still a bit weary but then again she has a good reason." I said smiling small.
"And you?" Dean asked his green eyes bearing into my skin. I shrugged.
"Doing the best I can I guess." I smiled small. It was a lie. I was miserable. When Dean and Sam had left I had gotten paranoid about being alone. With Jen moving it's caused me to freak out at the smallest things and I had to quit my job because of the fear. Dean's eyes narrowed as if he seen through my lie, but Sam didn't seemed concerned.
"That's really good Emily." He said smiling.
"Hey you guys should drop by Jen's I'm sure she'd love to see you." I said smiling.
"We'd love to! How about meeting up tonight for dinner." Sam said hitting Dean on his back brotherly.
"Yeah, meet up." Dean said still staring at me.
"Sure, uh, there's a awesome bar down the street if you wanna meet there." I said smiling.
"Yeah of course!" Sam said.
"Cool."
We stood there for a minute and I finally looked at Dean's studying eyes. They narrowed more and then suddenly grew soft and normal once more. I blinked and looked down at my shoes.
"Uh I'm gonna give Emily a ride home. I'll be back." Dean said to Sam handing him a room key.
"Okay."
The Impala was still warm indicating that the boys had just rolled into town. I got into the car and sat silently as Dean got in. He paused before putting the key in the ignition. He turned to me.
"You're lying." He whispered looking at me. I looked over at him as if I had no idea what he was talking about.
"What are you talking about?"
"Emily, you know what I'm talking about. You're lying. You're not okay what's going on?" He asked.
"Nothing!" I insisted.
"Em!" He said sternly. I stared out the windshield as drops of rain started to fall, splattering like tears onto the glass.
"I'm just a little set back." I mumbled.
"Set back?" Dean asked turning further in his seat and putting his arm on the back.
"Dean please, can we not?"
"No, I want to know. If I can fix it and save you the pain then we both win." He said. My heart crushed against my ribs almost sending me into tears.
"You can't do anything Dean." I whispered looking down at my nervous hands. Dean sighed and rolled his eyes.
"You don't even know! I can't try if you don't tell me." He said.
"Dean just take me home please!" I snapped. Dean started at me shaking his head.
"We are not moving an inch until you tell me what is going on in that melon of yours." He said putting the keys in his plaid over shirt. I huffed and pursed my lips.
"So you want to play that game? We'll be here forever Dean." I said shifting my gaze to him. He shrugged.
"I've got plenty of time... between saving the world and shutting the gates of hell of course." He said with a sigh.
I felt the knife jab into my chest once more. That was it Dean, that's just it... He'd never know just how much the day he had to walk away killed me. How much I'd cried because I was worried about him. I didn't know if he was dead or alive until he got around to texting me, and I couldn't take it. Not only did I have the pain of him leaving I had the pain of my sister leaving, and me being stuck in a place I felt terrified to walk outside my door. Dean Winchester was my pain, my dream, my nightmare, my heart, and my drug. He looked at me with his deep eyes and for a minute I felt the warm tingle of the Djinn's Dream he'd forced on me.
If I could just go back to that dream I would never leave. I would have died to have just laid once more in those arms of his.
"It's complicated Dean." I whispered.
"Good, I specialize in complicated." He smiled. Oh Dean, you have no idea...
"I can't Dean. Please." I whispered tears welling up.
"No, this is why you need to tell me. If someone's hurting you..." He stopped short in mid-sentence. I looked up at him with sorrow in my eyes as the thought raced through his brain. His jaw clenched and he inhaled deeply.
"I..." He started.
"Dean no. Just. No." I whispered putting my hands over my face. He sat forward once more and slammed his hands against the steering wheel.
"Damn it!" He screamed. I was silent and rested my head on the passenger window. "This is what I didn't want." He whispered tucking his chin down and looking down at the floor.
"That's why I didn't say anything Dean." I whispered.
"So you just kept it in all this time? Seriously? We could have worked this out. You know what I do. You know why I can't. I can't do that to you." He said. I closed my eyes and shook my head.
"You think just because I'm a girl I can't handle what you do." I said looking at him tears falling.
"No, I'm doing what I'm doing because I care to much to watch someone else I care about die." He said his voice breaking, "I was a jackass for even letting it come this far. It wasn't fair to you."
"What's not fair is being with the person you love Dean." I snapped.
He swallowed and closed his eyes.
"Don't do that." He whispered shaking his head.
"What? Be honest?" I said.
"No damn it. You know I can't. You know." He said tears forming in his eyes. I wiped my tears away and coughed. I pulled the seat belt off and struggled out of the car. I shut the door and ran from it through the pouring rain. I finally let all my tears fall as the rain pounded onto my head and shoulders ruthlessly.
Before Dean had left the first time I had begged to go with him.
"Train me Dean. I could help. I have a background in all this, I know what I'm doing." I said.
"No you don't or you wouldn't be asking me to do this." Dean said putting his hand on my face. I just wanted to be with him. Somehow, that was the only important thing in my life. It had been over a year now and it was still the most important thing.
The rain fell like sheets, it was freezing cold, and endless. I could feel the water gushing out off my sneakers with every step, only to soak up more as I ran through puddles. I'd turned to run around the corner when I slammed into Dean and fell to my knees. He grabbed my arms and lifted me up.
"Damn it Emily." He whispered and kissed me. I felt my brain release it's grip and my legs and arms melted into warm goo. His arms were the only thing keeping me standing. Finally after gaining control of my arms I wrapped them around his neck. His wet clothes clung to mine, his shirt so thin it showed the hard chest that was panting from running. He pulled back looking at me, water streaming down his perfect face, dripping from his eye lashes and nose. He shook his head flinging water from his short hair that had become plastered to his head. I smiled and pulled him back into the kiss, back into the warmth of our bodies melted together.
"Dean stop! Stop before I can't..." I whispered pushing him back.
"I'm done Em." He said.
"What?" I asked.
"I'm done! I'm giving in. I'm waving the white flag. I just want to be with you. I want this, what's between us. I want it. If that means taking you, hauling you over my shoulder, and hiding you in the secret bunker then damn it, I'm going to." He said over the rain that pounded on the sidewalk.
"What?!" I asked shocked and hopefull.
"I can't do it anymore. I've given up so much in my life. Things that I thought I had to because of this shitty job I have, but I can't just walk away from this. I've never felt like this in my entire life." He said breathless.
"Lisa?" I asked shaking my head.
"It wasn't this. It wasn't this pull I feel this magnetic suction that draws me back." He whispered, "but I loved Lisa because I loved Ben more than anything in my life. This is different Emily. It's so different. I can't do anything without you anymore."
"But Dean you said I'd get in the way." I said crying.
"Are you trying to back out on me now?" He laughed.
"No! God no!" I screamed hugging him. He smiled into my neck and kissed my jaw.
"I'm going to keep you safe no matter what I do, or I will die trying." He said.
"I don't even want that much, I just want you to love me Dean." I whispered.
"I do." he said, "I love you."
"Then I'm coming with you."
"You're going with me. You'll live in the bunker, and let Sam and me take care of business... You can't interfere." He said, "You have to promise that."
"I promise."
He grabbed my cold hands and kissed them.
"Then I'm yours."
"Good."
Sam and Jen were already waiting at the bar when Dean and I walked in wet.
"What the hell!?" Sam said shocked.
"Well since it's such a beautiful day out, we decided to walk." I said sarcastically. Jen handed me her napkin as I wiped water from my face. Dean laughed and grabbed a couple more off the table next to us.
"What the hell happened?" Jen asked. I looked at Dean and tried to come up with an answer.
What do I tell them!? I began to panic and Dean shook his head.
"We had to park around the corner." Dean said shaking his head frustratingly. Jen looked outside trying to judge if the rain was coming down hard enough to soak us. She shrugged and accepted the answer.
"I got a call from Sam wondering where you were so I met him here, we were getting ready to go looking for you." She said.
"Oh I'm fine!" I said smiling. They began a conversation about what they had been up to but I couldn't focus because Dean's knee was barely brushing up against mine and I swore I could feel the electricity.
"Emmy?" Jen said.
"What? I'm sorry."
"Do you want to play pool with Sam and I?" She asked. I shook my head.
"Nah, I'm good." I said smiling. They got up from the booth and walked across the bar laughing.
"Well they seem to be hitting it off." Dean said.
"I told you she liked him." I smiled. He tugged on my wet t-shirt to turn and lean on him but not enough that Jen and Sam would notice.
"What are we going to tell them?" I whispered.
"Well... the truth." Dean sighed smiling at me small.
"That I'm hitching a ride along with your crazy life?" I smiled huge.
"Exactly." Dean smiled.
"You know Jen's not going to approve of this. She's going to be pissed." I said.
"Well, how pissed could she be if she understands?" He asked nodding to them. I looked over to see Sam teaching Jen how to play pool. His arm was wrapped around hers as he showed her how to hold the pool stick. I let my jaw drop.
"She's a shark!" I gasped.
"What?"
"She knows damn well how to play pool! She woops everyone's ass when we play at the bars." I said. Dean began laughing and I did too as Jen screamed happily as se sunk one into the corner pocket and took the opportunity to hug him.
"Oh those crazy kids." He smiled pulling a french fry off Sam's plate. I laughed and pulled my feet up onto the booth.
"Well screw that." I said sitting sideways in the booth and laying my head on Dean's shoulder as he had his arm on the back of the booth's seat. He let his arm fall and I smiled. God he smelled amazing. A mixture of the rain and the musk from his skin. I couldn't believe he was finally mine. Mine.
Jen glanced over at us and nudged Sam. Dean didn't notice but I did and acted like I didn't see them. I seen her smile and Sam said something laughing and they started to laugh together. Dean just looked at me and gave me a quick wink. I smiled and scooted closer to him.
Sam and Jen were laughing when they came back to the table.
"I just kicked his ass in pool." Jen said.
"Yeah well, you didn't tell him you actually know how to play pool did you?" I laughed. Sam looked at her amused.
"Emily! Yo! Girl code! Thou shalt not revealith thy sister's secrets." Jen smirked blushing.
"I want my twenty bucks back!" Sam yelled and our table burst into laughter.
"So what exactly is going on with us." Dean said pointing around the circle.
"What do you mean?" Sam asked.
"Sam, don't act stupid I'm your brother, I know you like Jen. Jen likes you. I love Em, Em loved me. We're a happy family." He sang mockingly. Jen looked at me and I smiled.
"So wait. We all know?!" Sam asked.
"Know?" I asked.
"Sam and I have been talking since the Djinn..." Jen said confused.
"How did you find out?" Sam asked Dean.
"What?!" Dean asked.
"We've been talking since the Djinn!" I said surprised that Jen had kept this from me.
"Wait! You were talking and didn't tell me?" Dean and Jen said at the same time.
"You didn't tell me!" Sam and I said. We stopped because there was too much in sync talking.
"Let me talk. Dean and I have been talking since I woke up from that dream. I didn't want to tell you because I figured you'd be mad!" I said confused.
"I knew you liked him, I just didn't know you...liked him." Jen said laughing.
"Whelp I for one am fine with this arragement." Sam said putting his arm around Jen. We smiled at each other and then we were silent.
"Now what?" Jen asked.
"Well... see we were late because we were arguing over what to do about this and I decided that I'm going with Sam and Dean..." I said. Sam looked at Dean confused.
"Wait, Wait, wait. You told me we couldn't do that. We have things over our heads Dean. Things that want to kill us. Things that will do anything to get at our nerves. They've done it before." Sam said.
"You didn't let her finish." Dean said.
"I'm going to stay in the bunker. It's impossible for anything to get it right? I mean I'll be there when you're home and when you're gone." I shrugged.
"That's a lot of time alone, and indoors." Sam said.
"Well, maybe she won't be alone..." Jen said softly. Sam looked at her.
"What?"
"I'm just saying if we're going to figure this out it's the logical solution!" Jen said. Dean shrugged.
"I'm cool with it."
"Okay we all agree but is no one worried about how much of a big step this is? Like this is a leap more than a step?" Sam said.
"Not really. I'm tired of letting shit get in the way Sammy. One thing I've learned from dying twenty times is that life don't last long so you gotta live it up." Dean said taking a long drink from hs beer.
"Wait. You've died twenty times?" I asked shocked.
"Well... some where around there. I lost count after the tacos." Dean said shrugging.
"It's around twenty, if you don't count the volunteered deaths it's like eleven." Sam said nodding. Jen looked at them both.
"You're joking right?"
"Not really." Dean said taking another fry.
"Should we be concerned?" I asked.
"Nope." Dean said smiling.
"Mkay."
"My favorite one was the ax." Sam smiled.
"Ha ha asshole." Dean said.
"What?"
"Well... it's a long story but we essentially were stuck in a time loop like Ground Hog's Day and Dean's dying would begin a new day. So each day he died differently, and the one we were arguing over an ax."
"He was trying to chop down this fucking house like he was Jason or something."
"Well it slipped and... he died... but it was okay because he was okay the next day." Sam said shrugging.
"Are you kidding me? You've died so many times you each have your own favorite death?" I asked.
"I prefer the tacos." Dean said shrugging.
"Oh! I also like the one when you got hit by the car." Sam said raising his eyebrows evily.
"No Sam." Dean said pointing at him.
"Why?" I asked.
"Well..."
"Sam I swear I will come across the table and kill you a sixth time." Dean said.
"He peed his pants." Sam said smirking. Dean slammed his fist on the table shaking all the cups and plates.
"Sam! I told you!Of course I peed myself. Man gets hit by a car, you think he has full control over his bladder? Come on!" Dean yelled. A few of the customers around us looked confused and Jen and me started giggling.
"So it's settled then? We're doing this?" Jen asked.
We looked at each other and nodded.
"Yes." I said.
"Good."
"We only have one thing left to do." Sam replied.
"What?"
"Tell Cas." Sam said.