CHAPTER SIX

~Farewell~

Jenna lunged at us with her fiery hands, punching at us... well, not at us, at me. Her powerful punches dealt serious damage to me. Diesel lunged at her leg and bit it hard, distracting her while I tried to pull out my sword.

"Mangy dog... GET OFF ME!" she shouted at Diesel.

Finally, I got my sword out of my spellbook and pointed it at her. "Back off!"

She succeeded in throwing Diesel off her leg and threw a fireball at me. I blocked it with my sword and attacked her with it, successfully knocking her to the ground with it. She got up and kicked me in the face.

Diesel got back up and bit her in the arm, making her have to shake him off again. Suddenly, the ground started shaking and four holes in the floor were made. Out of the holes were coming rocks and geysers, and she looked intent on killing me.

She launched the jets of water at me, blinding me as she launched rocks at my... lower places.

I hunched over in pain on the floor as she walked closer to me. The rocks fell, the water subsided, and the flames in her hands seemed to go out for a moment. "Finally... you'll get what's coming to you... you jerk..."

"Funny, I was expecting something stronger than 'jerk'," I said.

"You must be using another app," she replied. "Something that hinders my speech."

Oh that must be... the Bowdleriser app... Diesel barked weakly.

"And now... I will have what is mine... the entire Legend of Zelda fandom!" she shouted. "I will have Link as my husband! Hyrule as my kingdom! I will have my vengence!" With that, her hands lit on fire again and was about to finally end me.

That is, until she was pushed aside by Link.

"I'm! Not! An! Item!" Link said as he punched her.

Jenna launched a fireball at him and he flew across the room. "You are to me... Honey." She slowly got up and prepared for battle again, when a Goron fist pushed her to the ground from behind.

Darunia.

"Nobody touches my Sworn Brother, Link!" he shouted to Jenna, who was now lying face down on the ground. She tried to get up, and succeeded in turning around. but two feet pinned her hands to the ground. One was a Gerudo foot and the other was a Kokiri foot.

Nabooru and Saria.

"I... I will have my revenge against you, Carlos DarkCaller! If it's the last thing I'll-"

"Yeah, I don't think so," Nabooru cut Jenna off.

"You're really crazy, you know that?" Saria told her.

Jenna began kicking her legs, but then two others held her legs down, a Zora and a Sheikah.

Ruto and Impa.

"You do know that Link's my fiancée, right?" Ruto told her.

"I doubt that you'll torment Hyrule any longer, Jenna!" Impa said.

"No... I WILL have Hyrule! It will be mine!" she said, roaring like a tiger.

Behind Jenna, an old man and a young woman walked toward her, looking down at the now-pitiful being.

Rauru and Princess Zelda.

"Princess, shall we seal her in place?" Rauru said.

Zelda nodded. The seven sages began to use their power to seal Jenna in place... and they succeeded. The sages who were pinning her down got up and walked away from her body, now frozen in place, yellow light shining around her.

"I... will... have... revenge... Carlos... DarkCaller!" she said. "Scylina... will... find... you... and... end... you..."

"Yeah, I don't think so," I replied to her, trying get up from my spot. Just then, Link walked up in front of me and extended a hand.

"Need any help?" he asked.

I took his hand as he helped me up. "T-thanks!"

"No problem! Now... can I finish this? After all, she was using me."

"Oh, of course!" I said, smiling. "You are the main character."

Link got out the Master Sword and pointed it at Jenna. "Goodbye, Sue."

"Link... I'm not a monster! I'm your wife!" she pleaded.

"No. You're a manipulative monster who uses others for her own purposes. I have a duty to Hyrule to remove monsters like you from this land. I'm sorry, Jenna. I really am." And he took his sword...

...And you can figure out the rest.

"Carlos?" Saria said, walking towards me. "Thank you."

"Me? I didn't do anything," I replied.

"You revealed that she was a Mary Sue," Zelda said. "And for that, we're eternally grateful."

I smiled at her. "Well, I was glad to help."

"If there's anything we can do for you, Carlos, let us know," Saria told me.

"Well, how would I be able to contact you?" I asked.

...Phone app? Only 200 gold! Diesel barked.

"Okay!" I told him. "Diesel's gonna buy a phone app so I can communicate with you all."

"Great!" Link said. "We'd be glad to talk to you!"

Diesel tapped the Fan Fiction Portal Device and bought the Phone app, and was getting ready to press the Fanfic Portal button, which would make a portal home... hopefully.

"Is there anything we can do for you before you leave?" Impa asked.

I looked at Diesel, who was ready to press the button. "...Nah. I think we're good. Besides," and I showed them the stone cicle necklace with a triforce in the center that I got from Jenna. "I already got a souvenir. Or, should I say, a Sue-venir?"

Absolute silence.

"Geddit? Sue-venir? Like Mary Sue crossed with souven- nothing?"

"Nothing." Link replied, while everyone shook their heads.

I sighed. "Well, we've gotta go anyway, right, Diesel?"

Diesel barked yes, then tapped the F.F.P.D.'s screen one last time, causing a blue light to come out and hit the wall, creating a blue portal which would take us home.

I looked at the people of Hyrule one last time. They looked... free. They looked at me as though I had just saved them from a terrible, manipulating tryant.

And I did, but still, it was strange. I'm not usually a big hero, but I still had to fight and save them. It was then that I vowed to myself to destroy any and all tyrants that I come across, with the sole intent of saving lives.

"Goodbye, everyone," I said. "It was a pleasure meeting all of you!"

"It was nice to meet you too, Carlos," Saria said to me.

And then, everyone in the room said goodbye to me. Without a doubt, I shed a tear while smiling at them. All of Hyrule had just wished me luck on my return home.

So, Diesel and I stepped into the portal and found ourselves...

...in a forest.