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The Portrait
Toby should've been so happy. But it was difficult to hide the frown, even when Gill was right where he wanted him.
Perhaps it was something he would never be able to explain, but Toby pondered anyway as he painted. How exactly had he done it? How had he wormed his way into his thoughts? Become his muse? Sitting stoically in the armchair before the easel, Gill was the picture of youth and promise. That was probably it. But Toby couldn't help but feel there was something more.
Toby Hallward was born and raised a fisherman. His family were fishermen. Dating back to his greatest grandparents up the young boy Paolo, his nephew. And here he was, Toby, breaking this long line with a paint brush.
He wasn't quite sure what happened really. One day he fancied to sketch while waiting by the river. That suddenly escalated at the appearance of Gill, who was walking inspiration for art. He wasn't surprised that he had picked up the acrylics and the oils but that the rest of the town hadn't followed suit.
And everything Toby drew before Gill was utterly dreadful. Nothing was good enough to show off. To add as an excuse for the time wasted. It was all so disjointed and emotionless and crude.
But this. This! This portrait of Gill had feeling. It had something special. And with each brush stroke, Toby could see that this was his masterpiece. He would never again be able to produce something of this quality. In fact, he was shocked his very hands were doing so just now. A slight disappointment that this was the beginning of the end crept over him for a moment until he decided he didn't want to make anything better. He wanted Gill to be his best.
The last reason for this entire business, Toby decided, was that he just liked Gill. He had grown rather fond of him and Toby's fascination with his face increased his desire to be Mr. Gray's friend.
But of course, all was not right anymore.
It was subtle. Toby doubted anyone but he would notice it. Would Gill notice it? Probably not. No one else had studied Gill's face like Toby Hallward had, endlessly painting it for hours upon his canvas. There was a slight change in the eye brows. Not a noticeable crease, but there was almost a haughty air woven into the youthful complexion. The chin was stronger. The nose was higher. Arrogance was creeping into him.
His muse wasn't the same. And it bothered him.
So Toby rushed to finish.
"Mr. Hallward?" Gill asked, careful not to move.
Clearing his throat, Toby answered: "Yes, Gill?"
"Er – Toby, sorry. If I may be so bold to ask… How did you come to know Lord Wotton?"
"Julius? Hm… How we met…" Toby wondered. It was a good question. "I suppose he's always been there, really. At some point in time he took an interest in me and he hasn't left me alone since. I don't mind, really, even if I make a fuss sometimes. If you knew me better, I'm rather easy-going. This portrait just gets me up in a huff…"
Gill sat silently for awhile. Thinking. "But you two are so different."
"True, but that doesn't stop Julius. Ever since we were children, he pounced upon whatever struck his fancy."
"So… he was always—?"
"Like this?" Toby asked, peering around the easel. He smiled. "Yes, he's always been a bad influence."
"Why do you say that? He doesn't seem so bad," Gill defended the missing topic of their conversation.
Toby sighed. "Just remember yourself when you speak with him, Gill. He has a way of… planting his ideas in other people. And it rarely turns out for their benefit."
The room silenced and Toby was grateful. But he couldn't deny it now. Gill was different. He needed to hurry…
There was a light rap on the door, characteristic of Lord Julius Wotton. And upon opening the door, Toby faced the fellow dressed in full dinner party attire. Gill sat up straighter so he could see who was at the front step.
"Speak of the devil," Toby forced a jovial smile and welcomed Julius inside.
"What a way to introduce a man," Julius said. His eye caught Gill and Toby shut the door. "Especially when there are guests."
"Hello, Lord Wotton. Good day to you," Gill greeted him, trying to hide his excitement. He hadn't known Julius more than a few days, but he knew the man always had an interesting tale to tell or ideology to spill – both of which were more intriguing than anything their little town had to offer.
"It is a good day, isn't it?" Julius nodded and slinked towards the sofa. He easily reclined as of habit and put his feet up without formality. He had his back to Toby so he could watch Gill and more easily talk to him. "Posing for stuffy old Toby again, hm?"
"I wish you wouldn't give him such a hard time," Gill chastised.
"Thank you, Gill," Toby nodded approvingly, sweeping together another color.
"This portrait had better be the best there's been for all the time our lovely Mr. Gray has wasted," Julius shrugged, sticking to his guns. A glint came into his bright maroon eyes. "Speaking of wasting time, has the esteemed and overly educated Gill Gray decided on something to do with his young opportunities?"
"Julius…" Toby warned, deeply focused on his work.
"Don't mind me," Julius reminded off-handedly. "I just want Gill to appreciate his beauty while he has it."
"While I have it?" Gill asked, not even bothering to portray modesty at the compliment.
Julius folded his hands over his stomach and pursed his lips. He was very good at looking disinterested. "Of course! We all grow old, Mr. Gray. What do you think happens to our beauty?"
Gill was silent.
Julius leaned forward ever so slightly. It was intimidating. "Beauty fades, Gill Gray. Our youth dwindles and our features become lackluster the older we become. As age envelops us all, our beauty is slowly stripped from us. With every second. Of every passing day. And there is absolutely nothing you can do to prevent it. It is inevitable. That is why you must do all you can now, Mr. Gray… before you can't."
Obviously shaken, Gill sat straighter in the armchair. Julius leaned back into the couch with a bored sigh.
"Well, if you two aren't busy discussing such dreadfully depressing topics… you'll be glad to see your finished portrait," Toby said, stepping back from the easel and wiping his hands thoughtfully on an old rag.
Gill sprang up from the armchair and Julius uncharacteristically followed suit. Both moved about the easel to stand beside Toby and marvel at the finished canvas.
Lord Wotton laid a hand on Mr. Hallward's shoulder. "You've captured his essence quite well. It is indeed… a masterpiece."
Gill slowly took hold of the dry edges of the thick portrait and lifted it from the easel, staring up and down at it. Toby fussed, relaying the obvious warnings that some parts were not dry quite yet and careful not to drop it and it's unexpected weight and so on. Gill ignored these things and looked down at himself, perfectly captured in this moment in time. What he saw was a fine looking young man with platinum hair and sapphire eyes. A naïve smile and a smartly pressed vest and shirt. This was the end of the picture for it finished before the stop of his torso and began just over the top of his head. The canvas was rather large, too, now that he really held it before him. It was life-sized. Like he was looking into a mirror.
Toby and Julius watched Gill carefully for different reasons. Finally, Toby couldn't take it anymore. "You don't like it."
Gill let out a long sigh. "It's very good, Toby. …Too good even. I'm afraid it has made me envious."
"Envious?" Toby asked, eyebrows scrunched.
He wanted to say Julius was right. That this was the best he was ever going to be. That his life was a mad rush downhill from here on out. That this portrait captured him at his best. To remind him forever of what he would inevitably lose over the course of his remaining years. It depressed him and angered him at the same time.
Instead, Gill simply said: "I am envious of this man in the portrait. That he will not age or change. He will remain this way forever. And I wish I could do the same."
"I can get rid of it," Toby ludicrously suggested. He made a grab for it, but Gill was already spinning out of the way of his reaching hands. He had to put it back on the easel because it indeed was very heavy and clumsy to hold.
"Don't be ridiculous, Toby," Julius reprimanded. "Gill's simply been over-thinking."
For once, Julius was ignored. Gill shook his head at Toby and continued to argue. "Please, Toby, it's excellent work! Don't go throwing away all of the hours you put into it. That I put into sitting here."
"Very well…" Toby finally decided. On impulse, he blurted: "But I want you to have it. If you want it, that is. Because if you don't want it, I will be obligated to destroy it on the basis that it makes you unhappy."
Gill shook his head again but smiled. "Thank you, Toby… I will take it. If you insist?"
"I insist," Toby nodded.
"Very well. I'll have to find a spot for it then."
"This calls for celebration," Julius spoke up, not one to be brushed aside. "I say, I have dinner plans tonight, but we simply must plan something later this week. For our Toby Hallward's success – he is an artist! And for our Gill Gray – he is immortalized in the frame!"
"That does seem like a good idea," Toby agreed. He hesitated. He didn't feel much like celebrating or relaying the fact to the other two. "But I'm ready to rest. And leave this all behind me."
"You won't paint again?" Gill asked.
Toby shook his head. "Unless something else comes along, no, I will not. I don't see how I can. I've never been inspired before this."
"Do not limit yourself to a single inspiration," Julius spoke wise words. "You'll sell yourself short, my dear Mr. Hallward."
After fare wells were said and arrangements were made to have the portrait professionally delivered to the Gray home, Gill and Julius took their leave of Toby Hallward and his bungalow on the hill. Strolling down the path towards town, Julius mindlessly tapped his walking stick in time with his footsteps and watched Gill through sideways glances. It was obvious the boy was deeply disturbed. The cogs in his mind were turning.
"I must insist you join me for dinner," Julius suddenly proposed as they neared Harmonica Town. The stone bridge beneath their feet lazily fed water from the ocean through the near cliff side. "This is where we must part ways, Mr. Gray. I will come to call upon you this Thursday evening. I would like if you met some society friends of mine. Acquaintances, really, but they're a good laugh. You will enjoy watching them, I think."
Gill readily agreed. Whatever Julius Wotton had in mind was undoubtedly exciting and Gill was ready to 'pounce' as Toby would say, upon any new opportunity.
Lord Julius turned about and gallantly walked towards home. Gill watched him go and then turned on his heel, ready to greet his father four or five times over the course of the afternoon.