AN: M rated chapter

PJ

Cal watched his wife slip reading glasses on to her nose and gather up the needle and white cotton to thread through the eye. He remembered seeing her in them after his memory had been wiped clean; the surprise of realising that they had aged, and to him, it had felt over night. Next year, Gillian would turn fifty and Owen would still only be a toddler and it was all a bit screwy when Cal thought about it that way. Lewis had just started school. Emily was still trying to figure out her baby plan.

"Need some assistance?" Cal offered.

"If I need swabbing or a scalpel I'll let you know, nurse," Gillian responded absently, bringing Owen's bear into her lap so she could sew his leg back on.

"I was thinkin' more like a neural specialist. I know a good docta."

"Hm a specialist, how soon can you get them here?"

"Please hold, I'll see if he's available." Cal shifted to lean over towards her. He planted a kiss on the edge of her jaw. He was aiming for cheek but misjudged the distance and angle.

Gillian gave a smile, her focus still on the soft toy in her hand. Earlier in the evening they'd made Ted a special bed in a shoebox and made almost like a little shrine on the breakfast bar. Cal promised Owen when he woke up in the morning Ted would have had his surgery and would be all better. Owen made the bear a 'get better soon' card, bless him, and gone off to bed reluctantly. Cal reminded him it was a bit like Christmas though, he had to go to sleep for the morning to come and then Ted would be better. He snuggled up to Giggle Bear and asked for extra hugs in bed though. To Cal, it seemed he was on the edge of crying but was trying so very hard to hold it together.

"I can't work if you're crowding my light," Gillian reprimanded softly.

Cal shifted back but rested his head on her shoulder so he could watch. "Do you think Owen was suppressin' his emotions?"

"What?" Gillian lowered her hands and turned her head. Cal felt the press of her cheek against the top of his head.

"He walked around all day with a long face but didn't cry."

"Did you want him to cry?" Gillian challenged.

"Well not necessarily but I just wondered if he wanted to but didn't because he thought he wasn't allowed?"

"You'd have to ask him. We've never given the impression it wasn't ok to cry."

Cal felt himself relax at that. "That's true." He worried too much sometimes. He knew that. He just didn't want to repeat the same mistakes.

Gillian brought the bear up again and tucked the needle under the edge of fabric by the hip joint. She pulled it all the way through until the knot bit and held.

"What about Lewis?"

"What about him?" Gillian repeated, resting the bear in her lap and moving the leg into the correct position before she continued sewing.

"What his teacha said at his intaview yestaday."

Gillian waited for him to go on as she worked the needle and thread and when he didn't she prompted him.

"About his readin'."

"Would you do me a favour?" Gillian interrupted. "And put the overhead light back on? It's too dim."

"Sure," Cal got up and hit the switch on the wall. He nixed the sound on the TV as well and took his seat again, head back to resting on her shoulder so he could continue watching what she was doing.

"We can work with Lewis more and focus on it," Gillian answered him absently.
"It doesn't botha you?

"Of course it bothers me, it's not like I don't care."

"That wasn't what I was implyin'," Cal cut in.

"I just think, he's five and this is his first year at school and he's already ahead so... it's not going to do damage. It is possible to overwhelm kids." Gillian put her hands with the needle and the bear into her lap and turned her head slightly towards him again, so he could feel the press of her jaw against the top of his skull. "I don't want to be one of those parents that maps out their children's entire life for them and pressures them into being more and more and more until the poor kid feels they have no choice but to rebel. If Lewis tells me he wants to be a circus performer instead of a neuro-surgeon then I want that to be because he wants to be a circus performer, not because we've driven him to find the most ridiculous job he possibly can just to spite us."

"Oh thank god, for a second I thought you were gonna actually be all right with him bein' a carnie."

"Well, if that's what he really wanted, then I would be. Would I rather him be the neuro-surgeon? Yes. I'd love that for him. But," Gillian gave a shrug and Cal's head almost lost its balance. "He's my son and I will love him no matter what happens. I will go to the circus to see him perform if I have to."

Cal chuckled a little. "Not that there's anythin' wrong with bein' a circus performa."

"Absolutely not."

"Owen would love the circus," Cal mused.

"He would," Gillian agreed, picking up her patient again. "Can you hold this for me?" She meant the leg and Cal brought up his hand to hold it in place for her. "We should take the boys next time the circus is in town."

"Might give Lewis ideas," Cal responded facetiously.

"Cal. We are going to be ok about it if Lewis decides he wants to be a circus performer."

"I know," he sighed.

"Or Owen for that matter."

"Hmph," Cal agreed.

"Are you ok?" Gillian asked him gently.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because I saw your face when we talked to Lewis's teacher."

"And you're grillin' me on it now? Twenty-four hours late-a? You're slippin' Docta Lightman."

"This is the first moment sans children we've had in twenty-four hours that didn't involve individually going to the toilet or sleeping," Gillian shot back.

Cal smiled to himself. "Well you know, if we're havin' alone time togetha, shouldn't we be havin' sex?"

"Yes please. But I have to finish this first. Someone made a promise on my behalf."

"Remind me to neva do that again."

Gillian took his hand and moved it gently to where she wanted it to hold the leg. "Lewis is fine. Hearing words correctly is really not something we haven't come across before."

"Are you thinkin' we should take him back to Stephanie?"

"I wasn't. Do you think we should?"

Cal suspected the right answer was 'no' and honestly, if he thought about it, that was his answer. "I'm just a little worried I guess. Not freakin' out about it."

Gillian laughed lightly. "Good boy," she patronised.

"Hey, I'm allowed to be nutty about our kids."

"Absolutely," Gillian agreed. "If you weren't, I'd be concerned."

"Why aren't you nutty about it?"

"Hey!" Gillian complained against the implication that she didn't care.

"I was teasin'!" Cal cut her off again. To be fair, when she was being insecure and stressing out and over protective, Cal was calm and collected. And when he was worrying, Gillian was his voice of reason. Perfect harmony. "Ow!" He suddenly recoiled, starting to withdraw his hand.

"That was an accident!" Gillian quickly pointed out. She put the bear down and grabbed his hand before he could remove it completely.

"Son of a bitch," Cal growled. He tried to sit up and pull his hand away to see the damage the needle had done.

Gillian tugged it back. "I'm sorry," she half-laughed. She drew his finger up to her face, bending his arm back, which essentially kept him immobilised. "I'll kiss it better."

Cal started to grumble something else but she took his entire index finger in her mouth, hot and wet, and swirled her tongue around the diameter. He jerked and his free hand shot to his groin. "God Gillian!" He exclaimed in surprise.

"Better?"

Cal twisted to look up at her. Her hair had fallen loosely around her face and with the glasses and that look in her eye... oh god... She leaned forward, holding his gaze heavily, and opened her mouth. Instead of drawing his finger into her mouth, this time she pushed out her tongue to lick. Cal felt his heart rate increase in a sudden rush and his breath become more pronounced and blood pounded. He groaned, "Don't tease."

Gillian planted a kiss at the tip and Cal felt his hips jerk involuntarily. "I'm not teasing. I'm promising." Cal let out another low groan. He wriggled up further so he could reach to kiss her mouth but she pressed a hand against his shoulder to stop him. He pouted. He actually pouted. "I have to finish this," Gillian murmured.

"Are you kiddin' me?"

"I only have this little bit here," Gillian countered.

"I'm about ready to come in my pants."

"You better not be," Gillian shot him a hard expression.

"Your fault."

"Have some self-control."

"Ugh!" Cal glared at her. He dropped his head to her lap, the reel of cotton digging in to his cheek. He nudged it out of his way and felt Gillian squirm beneath him. He locked his mouth around her right thigh and blew hard to pour heat against her trouser leg.

Gillian lifted her limb slightly, pushing against him and put it back. "Stop it," she told him softly, smoothing a hand through his hair briefly. Cal turned his head and came face to face with her pubic bone. He shifted closer to it, closing his eyes, pressing his nose against her. "Cal!" Gillian reprimanded.

"You started it," he retorted, ignoring her, feeling for the zipper of her trousers with his teeth. He felt her squirm beneath him again, heard her breath shift from easy to pronounced. She rested her elbows on his shoulder and temple and he could feel the muscles of her forearms shifting as she worked; faster, he noted. When he turned is head to pull the zipper all the way to the bottom of its tract she dug her elbows harder against him, trying to keep him still.

How much longer?

Cal waited a moment then brought a hand up to undo the button. Gillian's hand slapped down against his ear and he complained. "Just wait."

"Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?" Cal complained turning over so he could look up at her. She was concentrating on her work; concentrating quite intensely. "You can't do dirty things and then expect me to be able to just sit around patiently."

"Shh."

Cal almost laughed. He brought his hand to her waist, stroking around the curve of it. He was nose to belly button with her now and he nuzzled against her stomach gently. He felt her breath catch a little and then even out again. Her arm rested in the curve of his neck this time. And then she was telling him to move and he lifted himself a way a little so she could stand. He turned on to his back, disappointed to have his gentle exploration of her body over clothes interrupted. But then he was also hopeful she was going to take him by the hand and lead him up to bed now.

Cal was just starting to wonder where she went when she returned, sliding over the back of the couch to straddle him. She pressed her mouth desperately against his and pushed her tongue unceremoniously against his teeth while her hands found their way under his shirt, shoving it up as she raked her fingernails over his ribs. Cal was stunned for about two seconds by the assault and then moved his hands to her backside, squeezing firmly, pushing her mouth harder against his.

Gillian's teeth caught against his lip and it hurt her as well as him but not in a bad way. In fact, it had been a while since they'd had this level of desperation. Gillian ducked her head to bite his nipple and he cried out softly, bucking his hips against her and she could feel the heavy press of him, then the fumble of his hands between and the sound of him undoing his own trousers over their rapid breathing. She felt heat feral flood through her, which made her push down against him. Then his hands on her trousers too. But there wasn't enough room. Or it was the completely wrong angle. Gillian pushed against him to stand again. His hand shot to her hair pulling hard enough to jerk her head to the side; a silent 'don't go'.

"One second," she told him gently, prying his fingers loose. She knew that look in his eye. He had told her once what was going through his mind when he looked at her like that: I feel like if I can't fuck you right now I'm going to die.

Gillian finished undoing her trousers and pushed them down to the floor, along with her underwear and she looked down to his flushed face and neck, half exposed chest, and the exposed rest of him and felt her own pulse in her groin. He was huge and hard and he was waiting and she felt a bit like if she didn't fuck him right now she might die. She climbed over him again and he immediately pulled her head down by the back of her neck to crash her mouth into his. She could feel him against her too, blazing hot and rock hard and her stomach wound itself up so tightly she thought she might implode in on herself.

"Oh god," her voice was strained.

"Gill," Cal groaned back. She could feel his hand against her thigh, directing himself and she could barely keep still for him to find the right place; like Owen who could barely keep still long enough for her to stick down the tabs of his diaper; excited energy that couldn't keep still, rocking back and forth on her knees.

Cal liked the couch. There were all kinds of places to grip on to for leverage but Gillian found it a too enclosed space; if anyone had any idea how many times they'd had sex on this furniture no one would ever sit on it. "There!" Gillian cried, feeling him nudging to get inside her and Cal's hands came to her hips pulling her down. She made sure she overrode his desire and went carefully.

"Gofck," Cal gulped as she closed down around him, breathing hard.

'Fuck, fuck, fuck,' said Gillian's heart. She recognised the tension in his fingers, his arms, his hips. "Wait," she begged him, bringing her mouth against his again, keeping still so she wouldn't set him off. "Wait," she requested again, pressing a gentle kiss against his neck. Her thighs were tense with holding her weight and when she felt his grip ease off her flesh she dared to move a little. He held his breath but he held it together. He wasn't kidding then about being ready to come in his pants.

"Mm yes," Gillian whispered against his ear. She eased forward and felt the strangled huff of her husband's breath. He turned his head to nip along her jaw, then clamped down on her earlobe. Gillian shivered and Cal whispered a growl. She turned her head to kiss him warmly, delving deeply with her tongue. She slowly sat back and he followed her as far as he could before breaking away, panting. He watched her take his hands and slide them beneath her shirt. He took over, slipping his hands up her ribs to her breasts. Gillian closed her eyes and rocked her hips against him. She felt him twitch, felt the firmness of his fingers. He pushed her bra up, out of the way and viced her nipples between his fingers and thumbs. Gillian let out a moan. Her eyes flew open again and she fell against him, finding his ear. "We don't have to be so quiet," she whispered. "The boys are upstairs asleep, not down the hall."

Cal gave a growl and thrust his hips up sharply causing a cry to escape her throat. "You're right," he agreed. "Don't have to be quiet at all. I can tell you how utterly sexy you are."

Gillian gave a hum of approval and bit his ear in return. He gave a louder grunt, pushing his hips again, squeezing her breasts. "And how fuckin' desperately I want you," Cal added on a grunt. "Don't leave me hangin'."

Gillian would have smirked if she could focus on more than his assault on her body. He worked her breasts, ground his pelvis up against her, bracing his thighs behind her, and sucked on her neck. Gillian pushed against his shoulders to sit back again and he gave her a facetious grin. She leaned down to kiss him once more, shifting her hips forward and back in an agonising rhythm. Cal's hands slid to her hips again pulling her forward forcefully, overriding her movement. "Don't tease," his voice was strained.

"That's half the fun," Gillian reminded him.

Cal gave a groan. "Please."

"Are you begging me?"

"I just..." he huffed. "I'm sorry but I can't hold on anymore." He pulled her head down to meet his lips briefly; they were too out of breath for more than that. Gillian rested her forehead against his, felt how hot his skin was, how sticky with sweat. She angled her pelvis down, to rub against his and felt the electric friction down to her toes. She gripped his shoulders for leverage and thrust harder. "Oh god Gillian!" Cal groaned. He squirmed, held her tighter and she could feel his laboured chest beneath hers. She slipped an arm under his neck, hugging him up against her, felt the buck of his hips against hers as they strove towards the end.

"Oh," Gillian murmured as she felt herself winding out of control. "Cal," she breathed. He hit her in a way that made her squeak and he laughed lightly. Gillian giggled in return, letting go and feeling her body float free on the wave of tension just before it crashed down making her to shake.

"Oh fuck!" Cal exclaimed as he followed her, lifting up from the couch, pushing with his feet against the arm at the other end. Gillian buried her face into the edge of his damp hair, clinging on to ride out the both of them. It wasn't the same as when he was on top driving her to the edge, it wasn't her favourite position, but it had been so long since they'd had this kind of fun... yes, sex did tend to be less frequent than before, but even when they were going for it they were usually sneaking around, trying to be quiet, and not really getting the full benefit of this kind of passion. Plus, they were getting old. Not that Gillian really wanted to think about that right now. Not when they had a three year old.

Gillian felt Cal's hand heavy on the back of her head as he held her. "All right?" He breathed.

"Mh hmm," Gillian agreed. "Very."

Cal gave a little pleased huff. "Twice in one day!"

Gillian turned her lips to kiss his hairline. "Yes," she agreed at a whisper. "I'm very proud of you." She felt Cal shift a little as he chuckled. "Am I crushing you?" She realised she had her full weight lying over him.

"Nope," Cal wrapped an arm over her back, pulling her in tighter. He planted a kiss against the side of her head. "You're fantastic." Gillian smiled into his neck as she turned her head against his shoulder. "You know?"

"Uh huh."

There was a moment's silence.

"Can we go to bed now? I'm sleepy."

Gillian laughed lightly again. "Sure honey we can go to bed. Why don't you go up and I'll be there in a minute ok?" She pulled back and he gave her a nod. She slid off him carefully, a little awkwardly, and stood, pulling her trousers back on. Cal wrapped her up in a bear hug from behind. He gave her a quick kiss then headed out of the room. Gillian adjusted her bra and went to the breakfast bar to check the stitching one more time, to make sure it was going to hold. She tucked Ted back into his hospital bed. The needle and thread she had put away in the sewing kit earlier, so she wished Owen's soft toy a good night, before heading up to bed herself.