It had been two weeks and seven days of training and still she couldn't get her body to be numb to the touch of her brother's best friend. She had finally talked to Donna about everything; Kenny, her mom, the rape, Jax, everything. Her sister in law was a lot of help. She had told the red head how much Tara leaving really affected her friend, and how he turned to the girls that hung around. Candice understood a little more, Jax was Jax. It didn't matter what he did or how he acted, girls tended to just react to him. Donna told her not to worry about it because he was Jax and he wouldn't do anything with her. That was the problem though, she wanted him to.
They had spent more time talking at the park at night when he wasn't doing anything at the clubhouse or for Clay and she liked him. Everything about him. She had found out his favorite color had always been green and how he felt when his dad and Thomas had died. They talked about her mom some more, but not Kenny. She was so worried that he wouldn't wanna be around her if he found out and it scared her, really scared her. The more she was around him, the safer she felt. Her father had called Mary the same day that Mary called the shop and let her know in some very precise words that his daughter wasn't coming back and she could rot in hell for how Candice was treated during recent events.
She was sitting at the shop just thinking while waiting for Jax to show up. They had decided to work a bit on what Chibs had been teaching her since the club had been busy the last couple days. She didn't ask and didn't want to know. If her family was doing anything not legal, she was better off in the dark anyway. She was tapping her fingers on the table when she heard the roar of the motorcycles pulling onto the lot. She smiled as she saw her brother and Juice with Jax, heading their way.
"They wanted to see your progress, babe." Jax stated as they reached the table.
She watched as his cut and shirt came off, trying to control the insides of her body from reacting. He smirked as he pulled is hair back, watching as she was affected by him. If truth be told, he was just as affected. Every time they sparred and practiced with Chibs or by themselves, Jax had to try very hard not to do anything. He was happy with the fact she trusted him now, so that was a plus.
She blinked and looked at her brother. "You gonna be alright watching? Jax traps me in his arms for some of it and I don't want you to hit him."
Opie looked from his sister, who was wearing a pair of cotton shorts and a sports bra with her hair in a ponytail, to the man beside her, looking at him. "I have to be. Chibs said Jax knew the most, having being taught by Chibs for many years."
She nodded. "Hi Juice."
He smiled at his friend. "Kick his ass, sweetheart."
She smiled and turned to Jax, who was getting in the ring. She followed him and he held out his hand to help her into the ring. She smiled at him and grasped it, pulling on it to help her up. He held open a space for her to get through and then went to the middle to meet her. She turned and around, smiling at her brother and taking a breath. She did this every time so that she could be focused. Jax wasn't a friend, he was her attacker. She felt him walk behind her and trap her within his arms. He held her close to him and before he knew it, she had him on the mat. He looked up at her and she smiled down with a hand reaching out to him. He smiled and grabbed her hand, lifting himself back up.
"You're getting good, babe."
"Awe, don't go soft on me now Teller." She smirked.
He looked at her. "Ah, a challenge."
She just smiled and moved her hand in a "come and get me" motion, causing the men at the table to laugh.
Opie watched as his friend and sister sparred in the mat and sighed. He could tell they both were falling while Jax was helping her; he just hoped it didn't end badly. He knew once Jax found out why she was doing this, he'd be furious and wanting to go take care of it.
"She's good."
He looked over at Juice, who was smiling. "Yep, a natural. She's falling for him, isn't she?"
Juice looked back at the two on the mat and then back to his friend. "What chick doesn't? He's going just as fast though, y'know that right, Ope?"
Opie ran a hand down his face. "Yes, I just hope neither of them get hurt, Juice. She's trying to get over some hard shit from where she was before. When he finds out, which I'm sure he will eventually, if he runs, she'll be crushed."
Juice looked at him and furrowed his brows. "Does this have to do with the marks she has on her? What happened?"
"She doesn't want you to know yet, brother. It's up to her. I have a feeling she will tell when she's ready. You and Jax see her as much as I do."
Juice smiled and nodded, turning back to watch the girl.
After they finished sparring, Candice collapsed on the mat, laying on her back. Jax laid next to her, breathing heavy. She closed her eyes and let her body calm down from the workout. It had been a good one and her brother had praised her, which was really good. She wanted her family to know she now could take care of herself if they needed to be elsewhere. She turned her head and looked at the man next to her.
He had his eyes closed and his hand crossed under his head. She took him in and sighed. She was falling, she knew. She just hoped he didn't hurt her. She was going to talk to Harry though before anything happened. She had too, Jax was his friend. She owed it to Opie to let him know what she felt for the blonde.
"You should get a camera."
"Ha Ha," she stated as Jax turned to look at her, a twinkle in his eyes.
He smiled, "You're getting really good, babe."
She sighed and sit up. "Can I tell you something? Something important?"
He sat up and touched her face, moving a piece of hair. "Of course, Candice. What's wrong?"
She turned her head away from him. "It's about my marks."
She waited for him to say something and turned her head to see him looking at her hands. She held her breath as he took one into his hands and rubbed his thumbs over the now healed, thanks to Chibs, scar.
"How bad?"
He had whispered it and she knew she had his attention. She kept her eyes on their hands, watching him as she answered. "My boyfriend did it after prom with some of his friends."
He looked up at her and stared into her eyes. She saw the confusion in his blue eyes and let out a sigh.
"He was upset because even after two years of dating, I wouldn't sleep with him. They tied me up and well...you can figure out the rest."
She looked back down where his hand was still holding hers. She let him take in what he told her and felt her eyes tearing up. She knew she was damaged and now so did he. She felt his hand on her chin, moving her to look at him. She looked in his eyes and saw worry and concern for her.
"Did they?"
She just nodded and he pulled her to him.
He couldn't believe that some guy, one she trusted so much, would do that to her. He could feel the anger in him and pushed it aside. It wouldn't do any good for her to be scared of him again, he wouldn't be able to take it. He felt her tears on his naked chest and started running his fingers through her hair, taking out the hair tie. She wrapped her arms around his waist and just silently cried, happy that he wasn't running away. He waited till she was finished and then cupped her face in his hands. "Your mom know?"
He saw the anger flicker on her face before she answered. "Called me a whore. I told your mom when I got here. Still don't know why I did so quickly, but I remembered she was really nice and helpful. I told Harry and my dad the day Chibs gave me the balm."
He nodded and hugged her to him again. "You're safe here, babe. He wont get you here."
"Thank you. I thought you'd take off. Hell, I thought dad and Harry would ship me back since I'm damaged."
She saw a bit of anger pass through him before he took her face in his hands again. "You are not damaged. You're not a whore either. You are a wonderful young woman who I am glad to know. Don't ever let anyone tell you differently, Candice."
She nodded. "Can I use your shower before everyone gets here?"
He nodded, "Yeah, last door on the right. I'll wait till your done."
She smiled, "Alright and Jax..."
"Yeah..." He replied, looking up at her.
"Thanks."
"Anytime."
He watched as she climbed out of the ring before laying back on it. It explained so much. Why she was scared of him touching her, why she wanted to do this with Chibs. She wanted to defend herself against pricks like him. Men who took advantage of girls when they felt the need to. True, he didn't force the girls into his bed, but he didn't give a shit about them either. "Fuck my life." He told himself, trying to figure her out. He knew he was falling for her. He also knew he couldn't have her. Hell, knowing she was in his room, in his shower, wet and naked was enough to make him squirm. Now he knew why Opie kept such a close eye on her no matter who she was with; granted, that was usually him or Juice, but still.
"Jax, you gonna shower before the Tacoma guys get in?"
He turned his head to see Opie standing and leaning against the ring. "Your sister asked to use my shower. I figure it was best to wait out here. I know my limits, Ope."
Opie sighed and climbed in, sitting next to his friend. "You sure about that? I saw y'all from the bikes."
Jax sit up and sighed. "Not gonna lie, Opie. She's something else. She told me today, about the guy and prom. That's what you saw."
Opie nodded, now knowing why his friend looked troubled. "What you think about it?"
"That if he shows up, he's getting a bullet in his head after some torture."
Opie smiled. "I feel the same way, brother. But, I meant about my sister. I can see what's happening, Jax. I don't want her hurt."
Jax looked at his friend. They didn't do serious much, but he knew he needed to be honest.
"I talk to her a lot about what happened with Tara. How I felt, everything really. I don't know what's happening, Opie. She just made me feel like shit for using the croweaters and those girls don't give a shit about anything as long as we poke'em. I think I'm falling for her and it scares the shit out of me."
Opie sighed. "I think you're right, Jax. I also think she's doing the same. It scares her more though because of the guy and his buddies. You need to sort yourself out. I don't mean that harshly, but with the girls here. You don't even know half their names. She's staying for the thing tonight because Donna is coming. If you take off with some girl, hell even two, she's going to think she doesn't have a chance. She needs to figure out she isn't damaged. I have to go get Donna, but Jax, just think about it."
Jax just nodded as he watched his friend climb back out of the ring. He watched as Opie got on his bike and took off. He took his hair out and ran his hand through it. He knew Opie was right. He needed to figure out what was going on because she wasn't going to be able to handle him just fucking the other girls, especially since he truly wanted Candice under him, that he did know.
"Shower's free."
Jax smiled at her as she leaned on the ring. "Alright, thanks, babe."
She sat with Donna watching everyone eat. The guys from Tacoma were some scary men, especially the one with tats and was bald. Donna said his name was Happy and he was a big teddy bear. Donna was being very helpful with who was who, whether men or women. She had met Luann, who she remembered from before. She also found out her husband, Otto, was in jail and had been since she left. She scanned the room when Donna headed over to tell some croweaters that her husband was taken when she found Jax at the pool table.
She watched as he played with some guys she didn't know and her brother. She watched the girls that were hanging on all the men, but what struck her was how Jax was pulling them off. She furrowed her brow and studied the man, trying to figure out why he would do that. She waved and smiled when he looked up and saw her. He motioned for her to join everyone and she nodded. She picked up her soda and walked over to them, standing next to Donna.
"Who's this lovely thing?"
"That is my sister, Koz."
She watched the blonde, Koz, looked at Ope and then back to her. "'Fraid so. I'm sure there are plenty other girls here who would love to have you though."
Jax and Opie chuckled as Kozik smiled. "Pleasure to meet you, darlin'."
"You too."
Jax got up from his stool and offered it to her so that she could sit by Donna while they were playing. Candice set her drink on the table that was between her and Donna. "They do this a lot?"
Donna laughed, "Tacoma guys don't come a lot, usually every other month. Big deal and Luann brings all her girls up for it. She owns a porn studio."
Candice looked at Luann, defiantly not remembering that.
"Sorry, darlin'. Not tonight, I gotta get up early."
She turned to Jax as he once again declined one of the girls. "Odd..."
In the two weeks she'd been here, she saw what everyone else did. Jax took a girl to his bed every day unless he was out late for "club business".
"Why isn't he wanting to take off with her?" She leaned over and whispered to Donna.
The brunette shrugged. "Not sure. Opie said they talked about something before coming home, not sure what though."
Donna saw the color drain out of her sister in law's face as she got up and headed out the door of the clubhouse. She turned and noticed that her husband and Jax noticed as well. Jax handed her his stick, "Finish, I'll go check on her."
She nodded and watch her friend go after Candice.
Candice walked to the ring and climbed in, walking and sitting in the middle of it. She had a feeling she knew what Jax and her brother talked about and she was upset that she was the cause of his behavior. She should have waited till after their guests had left on Sunday, but she needed him to know. She had to tell him before she did something stupid, like kiss him. She heard the door of the clubhouse open and figured Donna was coming to check on her.
"Babe, you alright?"
Her head whipped to see Jax climbing into the ring. "I'm fine, Jax."
She felt him set next to her. "You are not fine. Why did you walk out?"
She looked back at him. "Why are you declining sex?"
He looked at her and sighed. "That's on me, babe, not on you. What you told me has nothing to do with me not feeling up to it."
She turned her head away from him.
He sat, not knowing what to say. He knew what he wanted to say, just not how to say it without her getting scared of him. She felt him touch her cheek. "Talk to me, Candice."
She turned to look at him with tears in her eyes. "I'm scared, Jax."
He looked at her and put a stray hair behind her ear. "Of what?"
"You, what's happening inside me, Harry, my dad, mom, Kenny finding me."
She watch some of the life leave his face a bit before the determination set in. He cupped her face so she had no choice but to look in his eyes. "You have nothing to be scared of, baby. Not me, not your family, not fucking Kenny. Why are you still scared of me?"
She closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them too look at him. "Because you make me wanna do things my head isn't ready for, yet."
With that she got up and went inside to ask Donna to take her home.
And another, I am on a roll. Thank you's out to Legolas' Girl31, BigTimeGleekBtr, Nikki9235, cappiesgirl23, awprncss4386, and Mandy-chick00 for the reviews. Please continue to update as I continue to write. I love getting them.-Brianna