Chapter 3

They do this once a month, ever since Santana found out her old high-school friends Rachel and Finn lived in the same neighborhood she was obligated to visit.

Mostly she brings wine, drinks it, says some sentimental shit about their high-school days and then she's welcome to go home till next time.

But now that Brittany comes along too she's obligated to actually talk with the couple. They met Brittany at the wedding, obviously. Santana thought they'd be happy they were even invited, well Finn was happy – it doesn't take much for a jack of no trade guy to be happy. He and Mrs. Pierce pretty much devoured all the cream tarts that day.

Rachel on the other hand was very vocal in telling her she was betraying their friendship by not introducing Brittany sooner. It became so bad that Santana told her they were never close friends which offended Rachel so much she stopped talking to Santana for two weeks. After that she came knocking at Santana's door with a peace offering of 1000 miniature Chinese oranges in a bow laden basket, apparently they were supposed to bring good luck. Santana of course accepted because who doesn't take a thousand good luck oranges?

And from then on they had their monthly visits.

She can partly blame Brittany for that.

Brittany has a thing for gossip. Santana didn't think she was that type of girl when she married her, not that it's a problem. More often than not, it lead to mutual ridicule of the couple that should not be able to function but ran smoother than an engine probably due to the subtle sub/dom (not in the sexy way) relationship going on under Finnocent's nose.

"Santana, I'd like you to do the honors since you're both Finn and my oldest friend here." Rachel's million watt smile that earned her millions of dollars blinds Santana from seeing how in the world she could still be with Finn after all this time.

Brittany gives her an encouraging smile and a bump on the shoulder as caution. 'Behind the closed doors of our house we can say whatever we want but in front of the very people we make fun of we have to be on our best behavior', Brittany had told Santana.

Santana doesn't even understand why that's important to her. Rachel and Finn are her friends and she's in PR which means she's always on her best behavior. Brittany's behind a computer all day talking to a voice and Santana's sure Brittany's best friend at work is a robot.

"Here's to another five years of Rachel Hudson, Rest in Peace Rachel Berry. Let's hope Finn realizes yet again how lucky he is to have someone to share his bank account with after spending all his money, literally, on a ring Rachel can't wear most of the time. I hope you're happy for another five years, which by the way I think is a ridiculous thing to celebrate. Who in the world celebrates their marriage every five years before they're thirty?" Santana clinks her cup with Brittany, Rachel who is muted and playing mummy, and Finn who doesn't know if the toast was good or bad; he's still processing.

"Marriage is a special thing Santana, you of all people should know. Why would we wait till we're thirty to begin celebrate?" Rachel drinks her wine glumly.

"I was talking intervals Rach, is it too forward to suppose you need lots of celebrations with Finn so you'll have lots of things to remember when this marriage crumbles?" Santana gets a swat from Brittany who is far from pleased with her which can be good or bad; she just has to wait for when they get home to know.

"She just means till the day you die and become dust Rachel." Brittany remedies.

Rachel doesn't look so sure, but she takes it when Santana nods in agreement.

"Actually our ten year anniversary is tomorrow and we're having a party to which Brittany and Santana, you are invited. But I was just thinking about the celebration we had on the night before our wedding. We went the non-traditional way and spent it together instead of apart." Rachel looks fondly at Finn.

"Spare me the details," Santana covers her ears, "and that isn't the only non – traditional thing about your wedding. Hello, justice of the peace hitching and at the ready age of eighteen fresh out of high-school."

"That was the best decision of my life Santana; hey you got married not long after!" Finn chimes in.

"Which reminds me," Rachel ever nosey jumps up from the couch and points a finger at Santana, "you never told us about your honeymoon, I've told you our story several times."

"too many…" Brittany interjects, pulling closer into Santana's embrace.

"Exactly, thank you sweetheart. Stuff like that is private, no one asked you to spill. I've heard stuff I wish I didn't know." Santana says pointedly, wrapping her arm around Brittany tighter.

It's been a whole week; she missed the cuddling, the touches, and the kisses due to her stupid 'space' plan.

Actually, that came from a book which came from Puckerman.

Santana laughed at him so hard when 'An arm's length too close,' came up in a pile of his junk.

He could never keep too many things because he was terribly untidy and a little always looked like a lot. So, every now and then he'd put all the 'crap' in a box and throw it out to the front of his apartment for the old homeless bozo to go through.

Santana had pointed it out to Puck who took one look at a page inside the book conveniently titled, 'Make your habits fit your habitat,' and swore that was the first time he'd seen it. Further page flipping confirmed it was a marriage guide for troubled couples.

"Doubt bozo will use that. Those guys are forever single or gay in North Carolina right? Like its rule number one for them to be a solo act and depressed?" Puck scratched his completely shaved head. "Hey maybe you could use it, bet you have a boyfriend who could use a lil' lesson on putting things in place."

Santana had smacked his head where a scar from a knife fight was prominent. She didn't correct him for thinking she was straight or that she was seeing someone that was private information that could be used against her – she did keep the book though.

It was educational in her opinion until it got to the 'plan' which was some reverse psychology, of how distance made the heart fonder.

Well for one she learnt that you should never fix what ain't broke, and two, distance only made her hornier.

"I'm not asking for the whole story, just the interesting parts…"

Santana puts a palm over her forehead; she didn't know how long she'd zoned out but Rachel still wasn't done talking.

"…and we've been friends for ages Santana, I'm still surprised that you just left on your honeymoon after your wedding without telling me. I would have given you your honeymoon present before you left, giving it after defeated the whole purpose."

"Is she talking about the bikinis?" Brittany whispered to Santana who nodded.

"We were perfectly fine without your presents, Rachel. Besides, I would never wear the bikini you gave me, it's hideous."

Rachel advances towards Santana who stands up to meet her. Once in a while a verbal battle would come up between the girls and neither ever backed down.

"I'll have you know those are Victoria Secret which I got off a fashion show." Rachel flamed, nose red and expanding.

"Probably the ones they found too under par to let any of their models wear so they gave them to you." Santana replied with a smirk.

On the floor, Finn and Brittany looked on – the former with concern, the latter with sheer pleasure.

"This was pretty much how they were in high-school, you're kind of lucky to have Santana she usually win's with few scars. Except for that time everyone in glee club agreed she'd end up working on a pole and she cried for half the day." Finn whispers, his eyes moving back and forth like he's watching a game of street fighters.

"Strippers are hot," Brittany couldn't care less. Santana had made a name for herself contrary to what her 'friends' had said, not to mention Santana did work on a pole one night on Brittany's birthday in a private night club, just the memory brings back the tingles in her loins.

"…they would have shown the perfect amount of skin, and considering your exquisite bust, would have only made your curves more flattering."

"Oh, in other words they're hella skimpy and would make me look like a porn-star. You like that though, don't you? I get it now, you totally had the hots for me in high-school and when I wasn't interested you turned to Quinn. I can't wait for your coming out party, sure could beat your five year anniversaries just think of all the pressed lemon jokes I could make."

"Ok, that's enough" Brittany wiggles between Rachel and Santana before they can get to nose grinding which is pretty much the last level before bitch slapping. "I've seen Rachel cry and it's not pretty."

"Sorry we didn't get your presents before we left, the mailman must have taken a wrong turn." She says to Rachel, and then to Santana, "Honey, you look best with no clothes on."

"And you'd look good in a power suit right about now sweetheart." Santana replies and leans in for a kiss which she doesn't get.

"Now that that's settled, in the interest of world peace I'm going to tell everyone about our awesome honeymoon." Brittany smiles satisfied that no one is at each other's throats and that their attention is on her.

"Whatever, just make sure to skip the most interesting parts," Santana winks at Brittany. She pulls her towards the love seat and plops down, bringing Brittany down with her.

Rachel settles next to Finn on the long couch, eager to hear the scoop.

"On June 11th, the year 2003, Santana Lopez married Brittany S. Pierce who from that day became Brittany S. Lopez. On June 12th, at six am Santana woke me up. I was so tired after getting no sleep that I threw a pillow at her. Anyways, at seven pm we were on Santana's company's private jet, license 3002 to the Maldives where we landed on the water right next to the pier leading straight to our floating hut, number 4. It cost Santana $500 a night, I found out even though she tried to hide the invoice with a low tech encrypting program which is kind of silly because I break those for a living. At eight-thirty Am Santana carried me bridal style over the threshold and interesting things happened in there for a good three hours."

"Ahem," Rachel clears her throat, "the story is really interesting Brittany, but uh, can you make it more interesting by telling the real interesting parts?"

"I thought it was just getting interesting," Finn smiles hazily.

"Do you two have vocabulary problems?" Santana rolls her eyes. "If you really have to know, after an afternoon of snorkeling we found this giant starfish that was ancient and about to die."

"Santana totally loves sea creatures, she got all sentimental," Brittany interrupts.

"…yeah, and you know what? I named it after you. It reminded me of how one day your bloated ego will become so big your stardom will die."

Rachel sinks into Finn, defeated.

"Wait….stars can die?" He looks from one girl to the next for the answer.

"Of course and do you know what else died that day? Brittany, when I sang to her with my ukulele." Santana smiles at Brittany fondly, thinking of the late night cocoa marshmallow drinks they had while their feet skimmed the cool water and Santana played and sang for Brittany till she fell asleep.

"So romantic," Rachel stared starry eyed in their direction.

"Don't forget the sky-diving," Brittany brings up.

"How could I forget the first time you flew a helicopter on your own?" Santana flicks Brittany's nose.

The gesture is sickeningly sweet, and to Rachel it gives her life – she lives off romance.

"You were pretty badass your first time sky-diving, I thought you did better than the instructor?"

"Really?" Santana's stomach stirs in the not so comfortable way, "you did just as well as I did and it was your first time too."

"I guess it's our thing then." Brittany shrugs.

"Did you kiss in the air? Or recite your wedding vows to each other? I would have swooned if that happened to me." Rachel's eyes glaze over with a dreamy look, one that Finn catches.

"You're swooning now Rachel, and Finn hasn't done anything." Brittany points out. "Are you sure you're normal?"

It cracks Santana up and effectively breaks the mood to Santana's relief. There's only so much sugar she can handle.

"Finn does nice things for us all the time." Rachel says hurriedly. "He.."

"Save it for later Hudson. Wow, I'm never gonna get used to calling you that." Santana shakes her head. "Britts and I gotta go. See you next month.

"Britt, want to start up my car for me? I gotta use the bathroom." Santana hands her keys to Brittany and subtly looks over to Rachel thinking how she can get her alone.

Brittany says a quick good bye to Finn and Rachel then heads to the door.

"Wait!" Rachel shoots off the couch, "I haven't told you about the time I met Rory Flanagan, the rising star of St. James Productions."

Brittany and Santana turn simultaneously.

"Who?"

Earlier that day:

12:00pm - Starbucks

"Jonathan Glover, I'm Andy Roddick's representative," A tall man in his forties, graying hair shaved on the side, puts his hand out and shakes Santana's.

"Mr. Glover. Thank you for seeing me today, to be honest I was surprised by your announcement but I'm glad you thought of me to take over Andy."

They sit down and order coffee.

"You're glad I'm retiring," he laughs, "less competition for you. How will you handle both him and Novak? You know they are both hot heads."

She shrugs and smiles confidently, "I'm very good at controlling men."

Her phone rings unexpectedly.

12:00 – Gateaux House, Bakery

"And they say we computer geeks don't have a life," Quinn chuckles and places a basket of freshly baked pastries in front of a group of hungry girls. They do this once a week, come to Quinn's bakery for lunch.

"That's fairly accurate," Tina Cohen-Chang mutters, a caramel bagel stuffed in her Asian cheeks making her look like a chipmunk. "Apart from Quinn, the rest of us have no lives."

"Speak for yourself," Brittany replies, sipping her latte.

Tina and Sugar stare at her, and then a smile creeps onto their faces.

"You so go out and get laid don't you?" Sugar says. "If only I was as hot as you."

Brittany smiles and says nothing.

"Believe me, she's not getting laid," Quinn joins them at the table, she takes all but one look at Brittany and changes her words, "actually, I believe she is."

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

Brittany lets Quinn lead her to the kitchen.

12:30 Futsal court

"What is this, little league?" Santana blocks the sun from her eyes as she tries to find the number seven jersey on the field.

"You could call it that, there he is. Promising center forward I'm telling ya." Puck points to a curly haired boy with dark skin.

"Where's your ex?" Santana asked, "Wait, don't tell me you brought the kid yourself. That is so messed up."

"Chill 'Pez," Puck pats her shoulder, "I'm dumb but I ain't stupid. Lionel came with his mom, she's over there."

"Wow Puckerman, how do women like that even fall for you?"

Puck shrugs, focusing on the game.

"So can we get on with the business? I rescheduled a meeting to be here and as much as I enjoy this family event I have other things to do."

"Don't get worked up Lopez, you're drawing suspicion."

"We're at a fuckin' kids football game, stop being delusional and tell me who I need to shoot next or it'll be you!" Santana grabs Puck by the collar and grinds the words in his ear.

"Ok, I'll tell you what I know but you're not going to like it." Puck fixes his collar and lets out a huge sigh.

12:30 – Gateaux House, Kitchen

"You and Santana are fucking again." Quinn says pointedly.

"We're married, how is that weird?" Brittany asks confused.

Quinn shakes her head, "Britt, is she treating you well? Is she making you do things you don't want to?"

"No, why would she do that?" Brittany's still confused.

"I know Santana ok? When she does something she has a purpose. So what do you think she's trying to do? First she tells you to give her space and no sex, that was seven days ago, now she wants you. I know she's texted you about ten times already this morning and you're sleeping together again. She's taking control of the relationship."

Brittany laughs, "Thanks for the concern Quinn, but I think this time Santana made a mistake and has now reverted to our normal ways of doing things."

"I don't want you to get hurt is all."

"I know."

Sugar comes bursting through the double doors. "Girls, there's a new case!"

Quinn makes some last minute checks with Mike who pretty much is in charge even though it's Quinn's bakery. She mostly takes care of the administration part.

"Let's go," Quinn leads Brittany out by the hand. "This sounds important, just don't let Santana's antics affect your job tonight."

12:45 – Futsal court

"That's it? You're only giving me a name? I can't work with that!"

"Technically I also told you where he works." Puck cringes away from Santana's wild hands.

"Tell the agency I'm not doing it, I'm not putting myself in danger when no one has got my back."

"You think it's that simple? You just say no?"

Santana knows Puck has a point. She can't say no or she'll be sent right back to where she came from.

"Rory Flanagan, Broadway Bieber, that's it? Puck, tell me why they're doing this." Santana pinches her nose, her mind already working at triple speed Rory Flanagan, Broadway, Rachel Berry.

"I don't know Santana, all I know is that whatever you need you have it - Back-up, ammo, everything. It's a time tight job, and you're our best."

"What happens if I don't get the person behind all this in six days?"

Puck purses his lips, he doesn't need to answer. Santana knows there's only one reward for a failed mission.

12:45 – Flynn-Rachett Company

"It's not him; he's not the guy we're after." Tina goes through a folder on her personal computer labeled 'Flanagan'.

Sugar, Quinn and Brittany sit at the meeting table with her searching with their own computers.

"The only criminal record he has is using and distributing drugs; that was last year." Brittany scrolls down the police report. "So how does a poor street bum become an overnight star?"

"I've got the answer to that," Quinn prints out a sheet and stabs it into the board, "It's an extraordinary story that the media licked up without question. He was picked up by Jesse St. James, the talent scout at the time, now he's the owner of his own production company. His play 'street vagabonds the musical' is a hit and it's starring Flanagan. In this interview Flanagan says it relates to his real life."

"Still telling you it's not him." Tina says again "He's just the small fish that's going to lead us to the big fish."

"I solved it!" Sugar announces, jumping out of her seat, "Rory Flanagan is related to Jesse St. James, Rory probably doesn't even know that! The real culprit is St. James!"

"The note was signed by Flanagan," Brittany says.

"Exactly, the note said BG 321-Flanagan. Jesse is using Rory's name to do whatever it is he's doing. If he gets caught, the boy with a criminal record will get the blame. If he succeeds, he can get rid of the boy and claim the benefits."

"We need to scatter and regroup." Quinn gathers her laptop as the other girls do the same. "Hey Brittany, don't forget we're on for tonight. I'll text you the location when I know."

"You girls have fun," Tina locks up the room behind them.

"Oh, I'd actually like to hear this story. Uh, I'll just wait here with Rachel while you use the bathroom." Brittany crosses her arms and leans against the wall, ears perked.

Santana's torn between using the bathroom because she actually has to but she can't miss this story. It's like god gave Rachel the burden to share this story in the exact moment she needed it without her having to be sly.

"ummm, I've been interested in seeing that musical. It'd be nice to know some details from squashed tomatoes, see if it's worth going."

"Great!" Rachel squeals precisely how Santana would picture Annie Mudge to.

"Ok, so I was rehearsing my smash hit take me or leave me duet with my partner Sunshine when in walks Rory Flanagan and a whole host of bodyguards. Seriously, I'm more famous than him and he has twice as many people to protect him."

Santana and Brittany look at each other and sigh; it was going to be a while.

"Anyways, he sat in the front row and I swear he only had eyes for me the whole time. Now that is no reason for Finn to worry." Rachel looks lovingly at her husband, "you know I only love you."

He nods like he never even thought to be jealous.

"But he was so into me, I could see his boyish charm oozing over. He really is too young, so I paid him no more attention than necessary. After that he clapped really loud and he came on stage to introduce himself. I can see why he's such a star. I told him one day I hoped I could work with him. As you know, featuring is always beneficial both ways, so I never forget to drop a line."

"And?" Santana raised an eyebrow, she'd been bored for the whole story.

"..an..and…uh…nothing. He left," Rachel looks from Brittany to Santana who are less than enthusiastic about her encounter. Finn though is grinning from ear to ear – she's totally the star of his world.

"Well, I'm glad you met him." Brittany gives Rachel a small smile of thanks and pushes herself off the wall.

"….oh but wait!" Rachel stops them again.

"this better be worth it Rach, I needs to use your bowl."

"I got tickets? I already saw his play the 'street vagabonds the musical' once but I'd love to take all of you to see it, again." Rachel grins nervously.

"You didn't tell me…" Finn begins to complain.

"Finn, that was a work thing. Now it's a friend's thing so we're all going together – that is if you want to go." Rachel turns back to Brittany and Santana.

"As long as you get us backstage, I've never been back stage before, and I think Flanagan would like to meet me." Brittany says blankly.

"Wait, why would he want to meet you?" Rachel asks. Santana waits for an explanation too, only she knows it'll be out of this world because sometimes that's what Brittany does to get her way. It's kind of adorable.

"Well you know, my ancestors are Scottish….I think. Our roots go way back they must be totally tangled. I might have even picked shamrocks with him"

"Right, I'll try to get you back stage." Rachel quickly says looking to Santana for the interpretation.

Santana shrugs and says she's going to use the bathroom.

"I never knew you grew up in Scotland" Santana says playfully, opening Brittany's car door for her. "You know, you're a genius."

"I like to think so," Brittany grins back from her car seat. "Race you home baby."