A/N: Sorry about the chapter name mix up! I accidentally put chapter 20's title as 'Bye, Bye, Bella' when it was meant to be 'Thanksgiving'
Chapter Twenty One – (Bye, bye, Bella)
EPOV
"I'm not letting you go until you talk to me," I whisper in her ear.
"Edward, please. Just let me go," she begs through a sob. She begins to struggle in my arms.
"Just let me go!" she yells as she continues to push me away from her. I stand there in shock, loosening my hold on her arm. My heart constricts in my chest as I watch Bella turn on her heel and run as fast as she can away from me.
I don't understand what just happened. Why did she act like that? She said that she feels the same, but then she said she didn't. She kept mumbling about not being able to go through it again, that she can't get hurt again. I'd never hurt her. Ever. I run my hands down my face and lean up against the brick wall, slowly sliding down it until I'm sitting on the ground. I pull my phone out my pocket and text Bella. I get no reply. I try to call her, but it rings out to her voicemail. I continue to call her; the sound of footsteps grabs my attention. I look up to see Rose walking towards me. She sits down next to me and rests her hands in her lap. I can feel her gaze on me. I let out a sigh before finally meeting her eyes.
"What happened?" she asks, her voice filled with concern.
"I don't know,"
"We heard shouting so we walked out the front, Bella literally ran into Alice and knocked herself over–"
"What? Is she okay?" I ask, panicked. Cutting her off. She gives me a soft smile and nods her head before continuing.
"Yeah, she's fine. Alice took her home,"
I look away from her and rest my head in my hands. I hear Rose sigh before she places her hand on my back.
"Look, I know you wouldn't normally talk to me about personal stuff, but I'm here if you need me, Edward." She pats me on the back before standing. I look up and watch her walk away.
I can't stand being so still, so I begin to pace back and forth, kicking rocks around, running my hands through my hair and practically pulling it out while I stress. That's how Emmett and Jasper find me when they walk out of the back doors. They eye me carefully before approaching. I roll my eyes at them before sitting on top of the outside dining table.
"Esme will kick your ass if you wreck her table," Emmett says.
"Who gives a shit about the damn table, Em," Jasper replies, surprising us both with his language. He closes the distance between us and joins me on the table. Emmett stands in front of us.
"Sorry bro," Em says sympathetically before lightly punching me in the arm.
"For what?"
They keep quiet, causing me to look up at them, finally meeting their gaze.
"Well there was yelling and Bella looked pretty distraught so we just assumed you guys–"
"We didn't break up," I say in an annoyed tone, cutting Jasper off.
"Oh, well… What happened?" Emmett asks confused.
"Why the fuck does everyone keep asking me that? I don't know!"
"Alright, Ed. Calm down,"
"Don't tell me to calm down! I have the right to be pissed off!" I yell exasperatedly.
"We know that, dude. But don't take it out on us," Emmett says in an annoyed tone.
"We'll just leave you alone," Jasper says before grabbing Emmett's arm and dragging him back into the house.
Once they've gone inside, I try to call Bella again. Still no answer. It doesn't take long after that for Esme to come outside.
"How are you holding up, honey?" she asks concerned.
"You're the first one to ask me that,"
"Everyone's just confused and worried. They want to know what happened, we all do,"
"I don't know what happened," I tell her with a sigh. "I've already told them that," I add.
"Well, what do you think caused her to run off like that?" she asks.
"Fear, confusion, I don't know, Esme."
"What would she have been scared of?" she asks, honest curiosity in her voice.
"Me,"
"Why on earth would she be scared of you?" she asks incredulously.
"I told her I loved her,"
"Oh,"
"Yeah," I mumble.
"I don't see why that would scare her off; don't girls usually want to hear that from their boyfriend?"
"Apparently not." I say through a sigh.
"Oh, honey. I'm sure everything will be fine."
She walks up to me and places her hand under my chin, lifting it up until I meet her gaze. She smiles at me softly before kissing me on the cheek and saying, "Don't jump to conclusions until you know all the facts, because it could be something else entirely."
We're rudely interrupted by Alice barging through the back door.
"Edward, what the hell happened?" Alice asks,
"I'll just leave you two alone," Esme says before patting me on the cheek and walking away. Alice looks at me expectantly. I let out a long sigh.
"I really wish people would stop fucking asking me that. I don't know," I say through a groan.
"Don't play stupid with me. I know something happened; this is me you're talking to. Something really shook her up, because she practically ran right into me and begged me to drive her home."
"I know that, Rose told me –" I tell her, cutting her off. She gives me an annoyed look and continues as if I didn't interrupt her.
"In the car she kept going on about how much all of us mean to her, especially you. But then she was saying stuff like she can't let herself get hurt again and just randomly apologized for putting us through this and practically jumped out of the car while it was still moving and ran into her house—"
"Why didn't you go after her and see if she was okay?" I ask, annoyed.
"Will you please stop cutting me off?" She says before placing her hands on her hips and continuing. "I did try to see if she was okay, but she wouldn't answer the door or her phone!"
"Why didn't you call me? I could have come over and sorted everything out!" I yell.
"Will you calm down? What happened between you two after dinner? Did you have a fight or something? What aren't you telling me?" she asks quietly.
"It's nothing Alice! It has nothing to do with you, anyway; you should have just called me!"
"Why are you yelling at me?" she asks, her voice raising an octave. "Don't put this on me, Edward. It isn't my fault," she adds, the hurt clear in her voice. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, trying to calm myself down. She's right, I shouldn't be yelling at her.
"I know, I'm sorry." I mumble.
She stands directly in front of me and rests her hands on my arms. I look up and meet her gaze.
"I told her that I'm in love with her. She smiled at first, but it was kind of off and a tear fell down her cheek. I thought she was happy, so I wiped it away and kissed her. She pulled away so I asked if she felt the same. She said she did, and then she said she didn't."
"Oh, I'm sorry," she says quietly. Her grip on my arms tightening.
"Then she just ran off, I ran after her and kept calling out to her and eventually caught up to her. She said the same things to me that she did to you, that she can't get hurt again… I held her and said I'd never hurt her, but she just kept yelling at me telling me to let her go. So I did, and she ran off. I don't know what I did wrong, I finally got the courage to tell her how I really felt about her, and then she just ran away from me…"
"I'm sure she's just overwhelmed, Edward. Maybe she just needs time to think stuff through? Don't beat yourself up about it, it isn't your fault. I think she has a lot of baggage that we don't know about yet as well –"
"Yeah, I think that baggage has something to do with her mom." I tell her through a sigh.
"She talks to you about her mom?" she asks, curiously.
"Yeah, why?"
"Oh, nothing. It's just… I'd always ask her about her and she would tell me bits about her, but she would never elaborate."
"She told me she has bad memories from thanksgiving, I asked if it was because of her mom and she said it was, but she did the same with me and wouldn't talk about it any further,"
I run my hands through my hair again before resting my chin on my palms. Alice looks at me sympathetically before sighing and pulling my hands away from my face, closing the distance between us and wrapping her arms around me, resting her head on top of mine. I wrap my arms around her waist.
"I'll go over to her house tomorrow morning and see if she's alright. Then we can sort everything out, okay?" she asks, her voice muffled from my hair.
"Thanks, Alice. Sorry for yelling at you, I don't know what I'd do without you."
"It's okay," she replies softly.
I feel her lips press against the top of my head.
I wake up from my haunted dreams of Bella at 11AM. I groan as I drag myself out of bed and get into the shower. The hot water feels great on my skin, automatically relaxing and loosening my muscles. I turn off the shower and grab my towel, wrapping it around my waist. I pick up another one and begin to pat my skin and hair dry as I walk into my room. I get dressed, hanging my towel on my computer chair before descending the stairs. I walk into the kitchen to see Carlisle sitting at the bench. A laugh escapes my lips as I take in his appearance. He's wearing a navy blue long sleeved cotton shirt with baggy dark and light shaded blue jeans, eating a bowl of Cap'n Crunch cereal.
He looks up at me at the sound of my laugh, quirking his brow at me. I roll my eyes at him and shake my head before grabbing a bowl and spoon out of the cupboard, and picking up the cereal, pouring myself a bowl. I can feel his gaze on me. I look up to see him looking at me cautiously. I look at him pointedly, silently telling him to hurry the fuck up and say what he wants to say to me.
"How are you holding up, son?" he asks, genuine concern covering his face. Well, that was unexpected.
"Fine, I guess."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really," I mumble, before eating a mouthful of cereal. "There's nothing to talk about," I add, before taking a glance at him out of the corner of my eye.
"Alice told me what happened,"
"Of course she did," I reply through a sigh, closing my eyes before resting my head in my hands.
"I'm sure she feels the same, Edward. She may just need some time to process everything that happened,"
I open my eyes and look over at him. He smiles at me sympathetically before getting up off his chair and walking over to me, placing his hand on my shoulder.
"I'm here whenever you need me," I nod my head. He gives my shoulder a light squeeze before walking out of the kitchen.
I'm sitting in the living room flicking through the TV channels, trying to find something decent to watch by the time Alice comes home.
"Hey, did you go see Bella?" I lean around to look behind her. "Where is she, did she come back with you?"I ask hopefully.
"Uh, no. She didn't come back with me. She wasn't there,"
"What do you mean she wasn't there?" I ask confused.
"Well, her truck wasn't there, and I went up to the front door, and it was unlocked, which is not like her at all, so I went up to her room –"
"You went into her house when she wasn't home? She's gonna be so pissed when she finds that out," I say through a small laugh. I lean back into the couch before Alice speaks again.
"Uh, Edward?" she addresses me. Her voice anxious.
I look up at her to see her expression has fallen and turned into a mask of concern.
"Everything was gone – her closet was empty, and most of her things were missing. I rang her father at the station, but he wasn't there and I don't have his personal number—"
"He's in La Push with Harry Clearwater; he told Bella he didn't want her in his house by herself or with anyone else when he isn't there." I sit back up abruptly as my eyebrows scrunch up in thought. Why would all her stuff be gone?
"There is something seriously wrong between the two of them," she says through a sigh before continuing. "What kind of father does that? No wonder she never answers her house phone. She's probably never inside of it unless she has one of us over,"
"Yeah, well, he's a real jerk. I've seen it in action," I tell her. She sits down next to me on the couch, her elbow resting on her knee as her palm cups her chin.
"I called around and she hasn't contacted anyone. I'm really worried about her, Edward, it's like she's just disappeared," she says quietly.
"She hasn't disappeared, Alice. Don't be so melodramatic,"
"There was a note to Charlie on the kitchen counter. Saying she's leaving because she needs to get away. I've been ringing her all morning and she isn't answering."
"Maybe that means she's just gone to a hotel to get away from her dad or something," I say hopefully.
"I wish I was wrong, but I really think she's gone." She looks up at me, her eyes filling with tears.
"She can't be fucking gone, Alice! She wouldn't just pack her shit and leave!" I tell her, my voice raising in volume.
"Please don't yell at me," she says through a shaky voice before adding. "I'm sorry, I don't know what else it could be."
"Maybe I've been imagining shit – maybe she doesn't feel the same way and was just having a bit of fun." I mumble, my heart constricting in my chest at the thought. She moves closer to me on the couch and places her hand over mine.
"That's bullshit and you know it, Edward. I'm not a moron. I could tell that she has real feelings for you. If she didn't, she wouldn't look at you the way she does or let you kiss her. Trust me, if a girl isn't interested in a guy, she wouldn't let him touch her the way she lets you do,"
"Well, O Mighty One. Please be so kind to explain to me the circumstance I'm in?" I say sarcastically. She rolls her eyes at me before answering.
"I think she just freaked out and took off. Like you said last night, it could have something to do with her mother. She has some baggage that we don't know 100% about yet. I'll help you find her though,"
"How can we find her when we don't even know where she would ever go, Alice? Are you honestly that stupid!" I ask exasperatedly. I watch her as the hurt covers her expression, tears automatically welling up in her eyes from my outburst.
"Don't start yelling at me after I just said I would help you find her, Edward! God, you're such an asshole sometimes! You aren't the only one who's lost her you know! I love her too!" she yells before wiping at her eyes aggressively and storming out of the living room.
My hands make their way into my hair. I pull on it hard, my stomach feeling sick with stress and fear that what Alice has told me is true. She can't be gone. She wouldn't just leave like that. She isn't that type of person, I swear she isn't. Or is she? My subconscious asks. You don't exactly know her perfectly. It taunts me. I pull at my hair harder as my breathing begins to become labored. I sit back down on the couch and put my head between my knees. Once my breathing is back under control, I pull out my cell from my back pocket. I scroll through my contacts until I find Bella's name. I press the green call button and sit and listen to sound of it ringing.
It goes straight to voicemail again. I leave her a message.
"Hey, it's Edward. I don't know where you are or why you aren't answering, but if I overwhelmed you, I'm sorry. We can talk about it if you want –"
Her voicemail cuts me off. I stay in the living room, staring at nothing as time passes me buy. I call her again, and leave her another voice mail.
"If you don't want to see me, that's fine. But please just answer my calls or even Alice's or Rosalie's. I just want to know that you're okay." I sigh into the phone line before hanging up.
I try sending her messages.
I don't know what to do. Alice says you're gone.
I pray to god that isn't true. I don't know what I'll do if you're gone.
At least send me a text so I know you're okay.
I love you.
- E
Still no reply.
I stand up and head towards the back door. I sit down on the dining table, staring at the ground as I rest my head on my arms. I keep my eyes on the ground as I feel the presence of Jasper sitting across from me. There's something about him that you can just tell when he's in the same room as you.
"If you're going to ask if I'm okay, I think I may actually go insane," I warn him.
"Are you okay?"
I groan and run my hand down my face. Jasper laughs quietly to himself beside me.
"How would you be?" I mumble my voice thick with annoyance.
"Pretty shit, actually,"
"Well, there you go,"
"I know everyone has probably already said this to you, but I'm sure everything will be fine. Just wait it out until we go back to school on Monday. I'm sure she'll show up," he says confidentially.
I look over at him. His lips turn up into a reassuring smile. I can see the concern in his eyes and it almost tips me over the edge. Jasper is always calm when this type of shit goes down. Emmett and Rose have had plenty of fights, and Jazz was always the one who calmed everyone down when shit got out of hand. Even Carlisle goes to him sometimes when his work is beginning to stress him out.
"What if she doesn't?" I ask, uncertainly.
"Then you both look for her and fight for her. Or you try and live without her,"
"What if I can't?"
"You'll have us supporting you, Ed. We'll help you get through it."
He stands and walks around the table, and sits down beside me. He places his arm across my shoulders and squeezes me lightly. If Emmett tried to pull a sympathetic move like that on me I'd kick his ass. But this is Jasper. I lean into his arm before resting my face back on my arms.
"Why does everything always have to turn to shit?" I ask, my voice muffled by my hands.
"What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, man."
He removes his arm from around my shoulders, but continues to sit next to me. Silently telling me that he's going to be there if I need him. I turn my head and look up at him.
"Thanks, Jazz. For everything." I tell him appreciatively. He smiles at me softly before standing up.
"No problem, bro. Anytime." He slaps me lightly on the back before walking back into the house.
I sit outside for hours, not noticing how dark it's gotten until Esme comes out to get me.
"It's getting late, honey,"
"Yeah," I respond in a whisper.
I stand up and make my way inside. I plant a kiss on her cheek, causing her to pull me into a tight hug. I wrap my arms around her and squeeze her back lightly before letting go. She looks up at me and smiles at me sadly before I turn my back on her and walk up the stairs and into my room.
I change into an old T and football shorts before collapsing onto my bed. I have never felt so exhausted in my life. And my chest has never felt so heavy.
Yeeeeah, so Bella's gone... Poor Edward, and Alice and Rosalie and the rest of the Cullen's. DON'T HATE ME! I can't give anything away, buuuut please just don't flounce and keep reading the story. Thank you to all the people adding this story to their favourites and alerts. It means a lot to me. Thank you for all the reviews, keep 'em coming! And thankyou to my MyHeartOfMusic for Beta'ing this chapter for me! I love you all!
natalee-x